“Remind me again why you dragged me here tonight?” Kyungsoo ask his friend as they both lean their back against the corner of the counter at campus’s most popular bar.

“I told you, Kyung, Chanyeol’s band is playing and I need someone to keep me company! All of the other guys were busy,” Baekhyun reminds him. “Don’t give me that look like you feel like a last resort—you know you wouldn’t have wanted to come even if I had asked you first.” Kyungsoo huffs. “Besides, I think you might actually enjoy tonight, if you let yourself.”

Baekhyun isn’t wrong; Kyungsoo isn’t really a huge fan of loud places. He’s willing to tolerate it for the sake of his friends, but it is a bit of a stretch to say that he will enjoy it. He doesn’t like the wink that Baekhyun gives him as he says his last statement.

Chanyeol is Baekhyun’s boyfriend, and over the years he has accompanied his friend to probably a dozen of the band’s Saturday night gigs. The group is quite popular amongst the college co-ed crowd, as they are both talented and good looking, and their wide repertoire consists of almost any popular song from any genre, any decade.

Tonight is ‘Country Night’, so the group has been playing all of the hot hits, from Dan + Shay, to Miranda Lambert, to Jason Aldean, to Lady Antebellum. Because they are in various majors in the College of Fine Arts, they have connections with most of the students, and like to invite their classmates to be special guests with them on stage each week. Baekhyun usually gushes to Kyungsoo about who the special performer is going to be each week, but this week, Baek has been suspiciously secretive about it.

The band is halfway through the set when they take a break to say a few words. This is usually when they introduce the guest for the night. “Are you having fun tonight?!” Chanyeol yells into the mic (as if he needs one) and Baekhyun beams proudly when the crowd screams back in response. “You all know what it is time for, right?” The response is a chant of “Special guest! Special guest! Special guest!” Even Kyungsoo has to smile a little at how well Chanyeol is working the crowd.

"Well you are in luck tonight because we have a very special guest with a very special performance prepared. Everyone please give it up for my! Boy! Kai!!!!!" Chanyeol announces, and the crowd goes wild when Jongin jogs onstage from stage left and waves at everyone with a smile on his face.

Baekhyun smirks at how Kyungsoo’s eyes grow large and his jaw hangs slightly ajar. Kyungsoo didn’t know that Jongin would be performing tonight—the guy (his best friend, mind you), hadn’t mentioned it. Oh god, he hasn't mentally prepared himself for this, he should just go before Jongin spots him and he embarrasses himself. But all hope of that goes out the window because next to Kyungsoo, Baekhyun is waving back wildly, and manages to catch Jongin's attention. Kyungsoo swears his friend's smile grows a little bit larger and he sends a wink their way. The older boy may or may not flush a light pink.

"You all having a good time tonight?" Kai asks into the microphone, and he is met with yet another chorus of screams. "Good, good. Well I hope you are excited for the very special performance that I've prepared with the band for today. Honestly, I'm really nervous about it because I am used to only dancing on stage, but today I will be singing a song. You'll still cheer me on, right?" He scratches the back of neck nervously and there are more screams.

"Let me ask you all something: have any of you ever been in love with your best friend?" Jongin asks, and there are gasps and whispers mixed in with many nodding heads in the audience. Kyungsoo's blood runs cold and he can't take his eyes off the boy on stage. "It's the best, but it's the worst, right?"

"What is he doing...?" Kyungsoo whispers more to himself than to anyone else, but of course Baekhyun, who is still standing next to him, hears.

Baekhyun shrugs, "He's doing something he should have done years ago, if you ask me."

"But--" Kyungsoo tries to deny what is unfolding in front of their eyes, tries to deny that Jongin could possibly be talking about him, but Baekhyun won't have it.

"Oh, just shut up and listen. You're missing homeboy's speech!" He playfully scolds, twinkle in his eye.

Jongin has continued speaking and Kyungsoo tunes back in mid-sentence: "...might get your heart broken, but isn't it better than living the rest of your life imagining what could have been?" He is outright staring at Kyungsoo now, and he has that same soft look in his eyes that Kyungsoo has seen countless times before, but has been hesitant to put a label on.

"So this one goes out to that special someone with whom we do all the little things that we do, but friends don't," he wraps up his intro and clips the mic onto the stand before the song kicks off, and the crowd goes crazy once again when they realize what song the band is performing: "Friends Don't" by Maddie & Tae.

Jongin keeps his eyes on Kyungsoo as he starts to croon, and as the lyrics flow from his friend's lips, Kyungsoo's mind flashes back to all the little, special moments that the two have shared over the years...

They don't cancel other plans

Have conversations with nothing but their eyes

“Hey, Taemin. Sorry man, but I’m not going to be able to make it to the movie with you guys today,” Jongin speaks into his cell phone. “Yes, I know you already bought my ticket, I’ll pay you back on Monday…Something came up, it’s not anything you need to worry about…Yeah, sounds good…Have a good weekend, I’ll see you on Monday.” Kyungsoo can only hear Jongin’s half of the conversation, but from what he gathers, the younger of the two has bailed on seeing the latest blockbuster with his friends.

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo sniffles, “You don’t have to ditch your plans with your friends because of me.”

Jongin sends his best friend a skeptical look and just wraps his arms tighter around the smaller male. “Do you really want me to leave?” he asks as he gazes intensely into his friend’s eyes. Kyungsoo doesn’t answer, but to Jongin, the answer is as clear as day. “I’m not going anywhere, hyung. Not until we finish cursing out that asswipe Im Hyunsik.” Kyungsoo’s swollen eyes twitch minutely, trying their best to curve into the happy crescents that Jongin loves so much, but failing. “It’s okay not to be okay,” Jongin assures him. Kyungsoo snuggles just a little bit closer as the tears spill over.

They don't hear each other's names and forget to concentrate

Hits a nerve and lights you up like dynamite

“Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo-yah. Kyung—” Chanyeol chants his friend’s name in an attempt to throw the young man off his game.

“Shut your mouth, Yeol, or I am going to final smash you into oblivion!” Kyungsoo threatens, eyes glued to the battle on the screen, fingers button mashing aggressively.

Chanyeol sticks his tongue out of the corner of his mouth as he tries his best to kick his friend off the narrow landing of the playing field. He just needs to find something that will crack Kyungsoo’s armor. “You hear about the party that Baek is hosting on Friday night?”

“Don’t care,” Kyungsoo grits.

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Chanyeol smirking. “Oh, you don’t? But Jongin told me he is going because you two don’t have plans yet—”

This tactic is super effective because that split second where Kyungsoo takes his eyes off the screen to glance at Chanyeol and ask, “Jongin is going?” is all that the giant needs to land the final blow and clinch victory. He whoops loudly and pumps his fist into the air.

“Nah, I was just joshing ya,” Chanyeol grins. “How could you forget that Friday nights are your guys’ thing?” Kyungsoo smacks him upside the back of the head, but he is mentally slapping himself as well for believing such an obvious lie. Jongin and Kyungsoo live for their Friday nights together. Because they aren’t studying the same major, it is difficult for them to meet up together during the week. Fridays are their time to catch up and re-complain about everything they have already vented about via text message during the week. Friday nights usually roll into Saturdays, which roll into Sundays…

“Yah, Do Kyungsoo, focus! You need to choose your character for the next match!” Kyungsoo is pulled out of his reverie by Chanyeol’s loud voice. Kyungsoo turns red that he was caught spacing out about Jongin again, but Chanyeol isn’t actually that bothered. This happens all the time, after all.

Friends don't call you in the middle of the night

Couldn't even tell you why

They just felt like saying "hi"

“…Jongin…?” Kyungsoo rasps, eyes squinting at the glowing numbers on the phone he just answered. “It’s 2 in the morning…is something the matter?”

There is radio silence on the other end of the line and for a minute, Kyungsoo thinks that his friend has accidentally called him in his sleep. “Ah, you’re right, sorry…” Jongin whispers.

Kyungsoo, still barely awake, repeats his question, “Is something the matter?”

“No, no, nothing is wrong,” his friend replies. “I have just been laying in bed for two hours but I can’t fall asleep…I dunno, I just wanted to say hi.” Kyungsoo can tell by the deep chuckle that his friend is embarrassed that he called for something so small. “I’m sorry to have woken you…I’ll let you go back to sleep now.”

The older boy scoffs, “Well, now that I’m awake, I can’t fall back asleep that easily.” He rolls onto his side and grabs his headphones off the nightstand and plugs them into his phone so he doesn’t have to hold it up. “Since we are both awake now, you might as well entertain me.” Neither of them gets any rest that night.

Friends don't stand around, playing with their keys

Finding reasons not to leave

Trying to hide the chemistry

“Ok, your opinion-sharing privileges are hereby revoked,” Kyungsoo declares, as he stands outside the door of Jongin’s dorm room. “I can’t believe that I ever trusted a guy who thought that Harry Potter wasn’t whiny as hell in Order of the Phoenix.”

“TO BE FAIR, he was going through a lot both mentally and emotionally, and nobody understood him!” Jongin counters, trying to keep his voice down. It is, after all, after midnight and Jongin has neighbors.

Kyungsoo just shakes his head and fiddles with the keys for his dorm room, which is all the way across campus. “I think you need to take the night to think about how wrong your opinion is.”

“But hyung!” Jongin whines, “You can’t just leave like this when you are angry!”

“Can’t I?” Kyungsoo arches an eyebrow, challenging him.

“It—it’s late, and it’s dark outside, and you are small and easy to catch!” Jongin reasons. “You should really just stay here for the night.”

Crossing his arms across his chest, Kyungsoo snorts, “Wow, a short joke, too? Thanks.” He turns on his heel but is immediately pulled into a warm back hug.

“I don’t like it when we fight, hyung,” Jongin mumbles into the top of his head. “Come back inside and we can fall asleep happily to Prince of Tennis.”

Kyungsoo tucks his chin to hide his blush and starts drawing random patterns on the floor with his toe. “I dunno…”

“The dining hall is closer to here than to your room, so we’ll save time in the morning?” Jongin suggests, grasping at straws for a reason for the older boy to stay.

“I…yeah, I guess,” Kyungsoo agrees, not needing much convincing. He can literally feel the smile that forms on the lips that are nuzzling his hair.

“Yeah?” The puppy behind him whispers happily.

“Only if you make me a warm cup of tea,” he demands. And then he lets himself be dragged back inside.

Drive a little too slow, take the long way home

Get a little too close

We do, but friends don't

“Hyung, where are you taking us?” Jongin asks as he stirs awake from his slumber in the passenger seat. “This isn’t the main road back to campus, is it?”

“Nah, it’s not the quickest way, but there’s something I want to show you,” the older explains, fingers tapping along the steering wheel. A few minutes later he pulls over into a field and gets out. When Jongin doesn’t follow his actions, he sticks his head back in the car and asks, “You coming?”

Jongin scrambles out as well and sees that Kyungsoo has laid out a blanket and is already settling down on top. “Lay down,” Kyungsoo urges, patting the spot next to him. As usual, Jongin reacts obediently.

“What are we looking at?” Jongin whispers, not wanting to disrupt the peace of nature.

“Do you see that?” Kyungsoo extends an arm to point at one of the stars. Jongin jokes that no, he can’t see anything that far away because of his astigmatism and he’s willing to bet that neither can Kyungsoo. His comment is ignored and his friend continues, “That’s Polaris, the North Star. It’s the brightest star in the constellation Ursa Minor.”

“Ursa Minor?” Jongin repeats. “Is that Latin?”

“Yep,” Kyungsoo pops the ‘p’ at the end. “Also known as the Little Bear.”

He can hear Jongin huff beside him. “But I’m the little bear!”

Kyungsoo can’t help but to laugh, “More like a big baby bear!” Jongin sulks even more at that, and Kyungsoo turns his head towards his friend. “You are my little bear, but the rest of the world needs to have a little bear, too. You’re ok with sharing that title, right?” Jongin grumbles something, but Kyungsoo can tell that the younger is pleased with the response, based on how he scoots just a tad closer so that their arms touching. The two of them continue to lay there under the stars just talking about nothing important until they almost fall asleep, which is when Kyungsoo ushers them back into the car and back to the warmth of their dorm rooms.

They don't almost say "I love you"

When they're downtown somewhere, just a little drunk

They don't talk about the future and put each other in it

And get chills with every accidental touch

“Do you ever wonder what we’ll be like when we are our parents’ age?” Kyungsoo asks out of the blue. The random question makes Jongin snort one of his goofy laughs, and he turns his head to hide his face in his friend’s belly. The pair have just stumbled their way out of their favorite bar on a Friday night and are waiting at a bus stop for the next infrequent bus to arrive. The older of the two is sitting neatly on one end of the bench while the younger has elected to sprawl himself out along the length of it, head resting on his friend’s cushy thighs.

“What a dumb question,” Jongin manages to say before he busts into a fit of giggles again. “We’ll probably be doing this same thing: just you and me on a Friday night, complaining about work over drinks at our favorite bar. Why, is there something else you imagine we’d be doing?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head with a soft smile on his lips and raises one hand to card it through the laying boy’s hair. He doesn’t notice the tremor that courses its way through Jongin’s body at the touch. “I lo—” he starts to say, but he catches himself and clears his throat when he sees Jongin’s eyes turn to look at him, widening. “I mean, I’d love that—if we were still close friends in the future like we are now.”

“Best friends,” Jongin corrects him, leaning into the hand that is in his hair.

“Right. Best friends,” Kyungsoo whispers back.

I keep telling myself this might be nothing

But one look in your eyes and, God, there's something

“Get a grip on yourself, Do Kyungsoo,” he thinks to himself. “You are not in love with Kim Jongin. You love him in a best-friends kind of way, not in a romantic, let’s-spend-the-rest-of-our-lives-together-and-live-happily-ever-after kind of way. You’re just confused.” He tries to shake the thoughts out of his head and focus back on the chemistry textbook that is laying on the table in front of him. He has an exam tomorrow morning and he really can’t afford to let his thoughts wander like this. But despite his best intentions, his mind can’t help but to float back and forth between all of the little moments he and his best friend have shared over the years, from ‘reluctantly’ skipping class whenever the younger boy felt like it, to Friday night anime marathons on either of their couches, to lunches in the quad with their friends, sitting just a little too close together so that they can all fit on the blanket. With so many fond memories together, there’s no wonder Kyungsoo is confused about where the line is between friendship and love.

He is too caught up in his own musings to notice that someone has sat down across the table from him with a cup from the coffee shop in the corner, and is currently staring at him, chin resting on one palm. He doesn’t know how long he sits there before he finally snaps out of it when a tan finger taps on the back of his hand. He almost gets whiplash from how quickly he looks up, startling more than he should when he sees his best friend. Who else would come to see him in the library after midnight? And with a fresh cup of coffee, no less? “Jongin…” he finally brings himself to whisper. They are in the library, after all.

Jongin is still staring at him with his chin resting on his hand, as he pushes the cup of coffee across the table, careful not to spill any on the papers and books that are scattered around. “You weren’t responding to any of my texts, so I figured you were still here studying,” he explains. Kyungsoo picks up his face-down phone from the table and sees that sure enough, there are 10 new messages and 2 missed calls from the younger boy. “You need to take a break, hyung. I know you know this material like the back of your hand. You are ready for this test. You need to get a good night’s rest or your brain won’t be able to function in the morning.”

Kyungsoo looks up from his phone and his eyes naturally connect with his friend. He can see the droopy, sleepy eyes, the petulant pout that is meant to convince him to call it a night. He can tell that although Jongin is tired himself, he dragged his lazy out of his dorm room, walked across campus, and bought a drink, all for Kyungsoo. Even as he sits there blatantly staring at Jongin, not saying a word or giving any kind of reaction to his friend’s very kind gesture, Jongin doesn’t even look mad about it. On the contrary, he has a very relaxed smile on his lips and looks like there is nowhere else he’d rather be at midnight on a Wednesday. And when Jongin offers to help quiz him for his test, how on earth is Kyungsoo not supposed to fall in love with him?

You can lie to me and say you don't

But I know you do, and I love you too

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo calls out to his friend, cutting through the silence. It is the Friday night after Kyungsoo’s chemistry exam and the friends are laying at opposite ends of Jongin’s couch, legs tangled (and occasionally kicking each other) in between. Thanks to Jongin’s last minute assistance in studying, Kyungsoo walked out of the test actually feeling pretty decent about how it went. To show his gratitude, the older boy offered to buy his friend his favorite friend chicken for dinner, and he did not need to be asked twice. The two friends quickly devoured their meal at the kitchen table and then migrated to the living room, bellies full, and hearts fuller.

“Hm?” Jongin hums an acknowledgement not taking his eyes off his phone.

“Want to hear something crazy that Baekhyun ask me at lunch today?” Kyungsoo asks after a moment of hesitation. He had debated with himself for the entire day whether he should bring this up or not, his curiosity winning out in the end. He wants to see Jongin’s reaction. He just wants to know. He needs to know.

When Jongin makes another noise for him to go ahead with his story, he says, “Baek asked me if you’ve asked me out yet.” He anticipates it, the immediate freeze in Jongin’s movements. Even though he saw it coming, his heart still drops. At least the younger boy hasn’t tried to extract himself from the couch yet.

“He, uh…he asked you that too?” Jongin responds, trying to laugh it off as a common occurrence. “He asked me the same thing last week.”

“Oh, really?” Kyungsoo tries to act nonchalant, but internally, he is dying. “He asked you if I’ve asked you out yet?”

“No,” is Jongin’s short response. The long one: “He asked me if I’ve asked you out yet.”

Kyungsoo’s eyebrows immediately crease into a frown as he pouts, “Why is the assumption that you would be the one to ask me out? I’m older! I would obviously be the one to make the first move.” For the moment, he forgets that they are supposed to be speaking about a hypothetical situation.

“Oh please,” Jongin scoffs, “Ask anyone who knows us and they would all agree that if either one of us was going to have the balls to confess first, it would obviously be me. You’re shy.”

“Being shy is not a bad thing!” Kyungsoo protests, and Jongin interjects that he never said that it was. “Besides, you are plenty shy yourself. Do I have to rehash for you how we met in the first place, because I would be happy to do so—”

Jongin’s face blanches at the memory and he assures his friend that he doesn’t need a refresher. “I don’t even know why we are arguing about this because it doesn’t matter anyway. I think it’s safe to say that if either of us had those kinds of feelings for each other, surely one of us would have made a move by now. And seeing as how neither of us has done so yet, that means that we are perfectly fine with the relationship that we have right now…right?”

“…right,” Kyungsoo replies curtly, trying to hide his phone with his face so that Jongin can’t see the look of disappointment that is almost certainly painted there.

After a couple of minutes of silence, Jongin clears his throat and says, “You—You know I still love you, Soo. Just maybe—”

“I know,” Kyungsoo cuts him off, not wanting to hear an outright rejection. He knows he can’t have been misinterpreting every little thing by himself. He knows that somewhere deep down, Jongin loves him the way that Kyungsoo loves Jongin, and he doesn’t want to hear Jongin deny it to his face. “Love you too.”

Back in present day, Kyungsoo is nudged back into reality by Baekhyun, who is rhythmically jabbing his side with a sharp elbow. “Yah. Earth to Kyungsoo. Are you even paying attention to what is happening right now?” his friend chides him.

And clearly, he was so caught up in his own thoughts that he was, in fact, not paying any attention to what was going on around him. He had been aware of Jongin’s voice singing the truth of their relationship, but what he hadn’t been aware of was Jongin hopping off the stage halfway through the song and slowly making his way towards the bar counter, the crowd naturally parting and creating a path for him. The tall boy is less than five feet away when Baekhyun had elbowed him.

When he looks up, Jongin is right there, just in front of him, looking at him with that same, fond look in his eyes, his too-long bangs almost hiding it. His lips are curved up into that same, beautiful smile that Kyungsoo has grown to love, the one that shows the perfect amount of teeth. He is helpless to do anything besides gape openly when Jongin reaches out to hold one of his hands.

We do, but friends don't

Friends don’t

Next thing he knows, Jongin is kissing him. Kissing him in a way that makes Kyungsoo see stars, makes his heart burst, and makes his soul complete.

“I told you that I would be the one to confess first,” Jongin murmurs against his lips, foreheads resting against one another.

“I would hardly call this a confession,” Kyungsoo retorts, not moving away. “You haven’t even told me that you like me—”

“I love you, hyung,” Jongin says immediately, making sure that his best friend’s eyes are on him. “In every possible way there is to love somebody, I love you, Do Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo can’t help the smile that blooms on his lips as he lets Jongin’s words sink in. “You told me that you were satisfied with the relationship that we had before,” he teases. “What happened between then and now?”

“Well, first off, I lied,” Jongin admits, and Kyungsoo feigns a gasp of shock. “You told me that you would have made the first move if you liked me, and you hadn’t! So I thought you didn’t feel the same way and I didn’t want to mess up what we have and—”

It is then that Baekhyun, still off to the side, snorts loudly and complains, “Seriously? I have been goading both of you on for God knows how long and you both still didn’t figure out that you both like each other? Good grief, you are both as dense as rocks.”

Kyungsoo shoots Baekhyun an annoyed look, which sends the elder running backstage to return Jongin’s mic. Turning his attention back to his love, his gaze becomes softer when he says, “Thank you, Nini, for taking a chance on us…” He hesitates before admitting, “You were right; I was too shy to confess to you first because I, too, did not want to mess up what we have. If you hadn’t done this today, I probably would have spent the rest of my life bottling up my feelings for you, wondering what might have been.”

Jongin pulls Kyungsoo closer and wraps his arms around his hyung’s shoulders, sighing happily when Kyungsoo hugs him back around the waist. It is a position that is so frequent, so familiar to them, but somehow this feels all the more special because now they are together. Although it is loud in the bar, Kyungsoo is able to hear every word that comes out of Jongin’s mouth, thanks to their perfect height difference—just another thing that is perfect about them. “After we had that talk last time, I did a lot of thinking about us, about what you mean to me. And I realized then that what I feel for you, what I have always felt for you, is different from what—” He chuckles. “Different from what friends do.”

Kyungsoo laughs too and finally replies with his own confession, “I love you, too, Kim Jongin, in every way that friends don’t.”

Backing away half a step, Jongin cups Kyungsoo’s face and asks with a teasing smile on his face, “Would it be improper for me to kiss you again now in a way that friends don’t?” Kyungsoo doesn’t need to say a thing, because Jongin already knows what his answer will be.