the silence is almost deafening. well it’s not really silent because jihyo is crying in the passenger seat and sana is choking on her sobs, trying to hold them in. but the fact that no words have been said yet breaks sana’s heart even more. she reaches out for jihyo’s hand but the said girl only moves it away and sits it in her lap. 

it’s 11 o’clock at night and maybe it wasn’t the perfect time to do it but there really is no perfect time to break up with the love of your life of four years. jihyo wipes her face and pushes her short hair back, sniffling. she breaks the silence with one word.

“why?”

her voice cracks a little and it comes out as a pained whisper and sana’s stomach tightens. guilt flows through her but she couldn’t just do this anymore. she hated to hurt jihyo this way but had this continued, sana would only be hurting herself.

“i-," she swallows roughly and glances at jihyo. “i just wasn’t feeling it anymore," she answers. it’s not one jihyo wanted. it’s not what she wanted to hear. “that’s it? you didn’t think to just come to me? talk with me about it? your first thought was to break up with me?” the questions tumble out of jihyo’s mouth without a break and sana grasps at the back of her neck, overwhelmed.

“no jihyo i- it wasn’t my first thought. i talked it out with momo and-“

“you talked to your best friend but not me?”

“will you let me finish?”

jihyo faces the windshield and breathes out audibly. the air surrounding them was thick. sana felt like she was suffocating. she rolls down her window a bit, taking in the fresh air. it almost clears her mind. almost.

“i talked out with momo because you were busy at the time. i should have brought it to your attention, i know, but there’s some decisions i have to make on my own. i just feel like we’re drifting, jihyo. we never have time for each other anymore. it’s always soccer with me and student council with you. we’re colliding but- but not the way we should be. i did this because i love you.”

it takes a minute for jihyo to answer. she has to let the words sink in. she feels like her head is about to explode, like her body is on fire.

“sana, what do you want me to do? i can’t have us end like this. i have to try, at least," she asks quietly.

sana doesn’t answer so she tries again.

“i’ll quit student council. i’ll- i’ll come to your practices. make every game. sana, just tell me what i need to do." jihyo’s crying again. her ears are red and her eyes burn but her focus is on sana.

sana sniffles and wipes her eyes, gripping at the leather on her seat. “you can’t quit student council, i won’t let you. not for me. i’ve made my decision, jihyo. there’s nothing you can do," she responds and her heart breaks more when jihyo lets out the loudest sob. jihyo wishes it would all stop. the pain, the heartbreak, the tears. she feels pathetic and she’s sure she looks pathetic.<