If anyone would ask Hyunjung to describe death, she wouldn’t be able to answer it very well.

 

 

“I wasn’t around long enough to completely understand it. I guess you can compare it to a hazy dream where you’re more soul than body.” You tried your best to explain to Sojung who was still sniffling and trying to hold back her tears.

 

 

“I thought we lost you Hyunjung, I thought-“ Too late, your best friend already broke out into ugly sobs. What else could you do other than let her cry and hold her close, anything to reassure her that you were really here, present.

 

 

You see, Kim Hyunjung wasn’t supposed to be alive. Kim Hyunjung died at exactly 1229H on the fourteenth of December, just ten days from her birthday.

 

 

-

 

 

Everything was metaphysical and all your senses were too much. You could hear and feel things at the same time that you ended up not understanding anything at all. Gunshots and explosions could be heard around you but you couldn’t move, not when every part of your body was failing. Was this how it felt to die?

 

 

Screams, shouts, an arm pulling your limp body until you felt yourself getting carried away. Away from the noise, why was it so loud? You wish you could just shut everything off, go back to a soft bed and warm mornings. A steaming mug of your favorite coffee but you can’t forget the hot chocolate, she didn’t like bitter things.

 

 

Your daydream gets interrupted as a bright white light shines from above, too bright. You try to squint your eyes and register what was happening. People in scrub suits were surrounding you holding scalpels and various operating tools. Everything was scary, you wanted to get away again, but the anesthesia in your body was too powerful. You weren’t in control of your body again, fully this time, but you still tried to break away until a voice calms you down significantly.

 

 

“Hey, hey it’s okay, it’s going to be okay. I’ll take care of you Hyunjung. I promise.”

 

 

There was a crack in her voice but behind all that, you could only hear the resolve and familiarity in her words. Maybe that was all you needed, that small moment of reassurance that you weren’t dying after all.

 

 

It was going to be okay.

 

 

-

 

 

They told you that you have been asleep for six months. All those months in a coma, everyone was just waiting for you to wake up. Your doctor called you a fighter and that no one wanted to give up on you anyway.

 

 

The only major damage they found with you aside from multiple fractures on your body was your memory loss. It wasn’t as significant despite your severe head trauma. It was only a couple of months of memory that you forgot before you got too close to an explosion during a covert mission where you could have lost your life instead. That was what your captain told you, that they’d rather you alive and losing a few months of memory than having you dead. You weren’t sure how to react to that.

 

 

A few headaches here and then, a lot of muscle pain. It was hard getting back into shape after six months of being idle and having only a machine and fluids to keep you alive. But you were getting the old Hyunjung back, even slowly.

 

 

Learning how to move around again with your body was also pretty difficult. And with you already being naturally clumsy, it wasn’t a stranger for you to get into all these small accidents and an almost daily visit to the military clinic.

 

 

“What happened this time Hyunjung?” The doctor, Lee Luda asks exasperatingly as she moves the curtain to the side and revealing her small self.

 

 

She was a new trauma doctor who begun serving at the same base as you the exact same time you got into the coma. She was really cute, brown eyes covered by spectacles and equally brown short hair. But beneath all that cuteness was an intellect so sharp and determination stronger than a veteran soldier. Not to mention she was also the head surgeon who operated on you six months ago and practically saved your life.

 

 

“Oh nothing, just wanted to see my favorite doctor again.” You give her your signature grin and expected the eye roll from the doctor but you also didn’t fail to notice the small smile on the corner of her lips.

 

 

“You really should be more careful. You’re still recovering from your old injuries, you know that.” She says softly before inspecting the bruises that already started forming on your shoulder.

 

 

“I know, but sometimes I feel like I don’t have full control of my body at times you know? Like I’m still getting reacquainted with it.”

 

 

“While that may be true, you’re also a klutz let’s not forget that. This is like your third visit to the clinic just this week.”

 

 

You couldn’t deny any of that. Even from your earliest memories, you were already clumsy Hyunjung, that was what your mom used to call you which was why everyone was surprised with how you became one of the best operators in the military.

 

 

“Do you not like seeing me anymore doc?” You involuntarily pout then.

 

 

“Hyunjung, we literally see each other every day all around base.” She says while spreading an analgesic gel over your bruise.

 

 

It was true, you’d see her every morning walking to and from the infirmary and you never fail to give her a wave or a hello. You were that fond of the doctor.

 

 

“Yeah but we don’t get to talk. I like talking to you a lot.”

 

 

“And why’s that?” You notice the slight flush peeking out of her cheeks and consider it a small victory.

 

 

“I don’t know, it’s just really easy to talk to you. You’re one of the few people around here I feel comfortable with.” The doctor doesn’t respond and just hums instead.

 

 

“Did I make your heart flutter?” You ask teasingly.

 

 

“Shut up.” Was all she said before stomping away complete with red tinged ears (she had really cute ears).

 

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” You shout at her retreating form.

 

 

“You better not!”

 

 

-

 

 

“Forty push-ups, seventy crunches, now!” The drill instructor commanded and you all dropped to the ground and did as she asked.

 

 

Woes of staying in a hospital bed for so long included having to get back into your old soldier form. Meaning the Hyunjung who could throw a full grown man twice her size onto the ground. Which also meant you had to go through all the basics again, aka going through all these drills like a new soldier.

 

 

You were far from being a newbie soldier, Kim Hyunjung, codename Seola, was a first lieutenant who served the army for five long years. You were part of the special forces under the captainship of Kang Jihyun and has received multiple awards of honor for various successful missions.

 

 

And yet here you were under the scorching sun, taking orders from Chu Sojung who was your current drill instructor. Don’t get her wrong, you decided to undergo all this training again out of your own accord. You knew you weren’t ready to get back into the field just yet and this was one of the few ideas you had to help you get back to your former self.

 

 

So even if your first instinct was to defy Sojung, you squash all that pride down and follow her anyway. You feel for the ring attached to your army name plate underneath the fabric to help you collect your thoughts. You couldn’t remember the origin of the ring but your body didn’t forget its importance and effect so you kept it on anyway. And you were glad you did because at times like these, it was the only thing that could help ground you.

 

 

 

 

“I swear Sojung, everyone here hates you. I can’t believe I actually forgot why you were called a drill beast in the first place.” You shake your sore arms and catch the water bottle Sojung throws at you.

 

 

“They’re all new, I can’t let their egos overtake their discipline. And why are you complaining, you chose to go under my instruction.”

 

 

“Yeah and I regret it. I don’t think I’ll be able to feel my arms for the next few days at most.”

 

 

“Ahh it up you big baby. We all know you’ll just use that as a reason to visit Doctor Lee again.” You blush at the mention of the petite doctor and try not to spurt out your water.

 

 

“Okay first of all, you are the baby between us. I literally consoled you for a week after you finished watching Sky Castle and couldn’t stop crying.” Sojung then covers your mouth and pulls you to the corner trying to shut you up.

 

 

“Okay fine yeah! You don’t have to say it out loud! I have a reputation to uphold.” You give her an annoyed stare and pull her hand that was covering your mouth back down.

 

 

“Now if you would excuse me, I need to go get my arms checked. They feel dead.” Sojung throws a soft ‘whipped’ as you turn around and walk to the infirmary just as she knew you would.

 

 

-

 

 

“So your arms feel dead.” Luda deadpans as she reads out the complaint from your chart.

 

 

“Yeah, Sojung made us do a deadly amount of drills and voila.” You don’t move from the bed and just shrug instead.

 

 

Luda sighs before moving towards you and started ing your uniform.

 

 

“Whoa whoa hey doc I’m not ready!” You turn to your side and pull your uniform back in place.

 

 

“What are you talking about now? I need you to remove your top so I can examine your arms you idiot.”

 

 

“Ohh, why didn’t you just say so?” You let out a dry chuckle and gingerly removed your coat. You notice Luda’s jaw tighten and her eyes growing sad at the sight of your scars that still weren’t completely healed.

 

 

“You really should be more careful Hyunjung. I’m not kidding.” She takes your arms and does a series of strength and grip tests before deeming it clear.

 

 

“I know, I know. It just gets frustrating sometimes because I still can’t get back into my normal job.”

 

“You mean going on secret missions and not knowing if you were coming back?” Luda’s tone was harsh but you could feel that her words were more blue rather than mad. Like she related to this topic more than she lets on.

 

 

But you didn’t like seeing her sad and all you wanted was to keep her happy. You poke her cheeks in an attempt to make her smile again. All you got in return was a glare that looked more adorable rather than menacing.

 

 

“Stop it.” She slaps your wrist away but you bring it back and keep poking her anyway.

 

 

“Not until you smile.” You start poking her arm now too and subtlety the doctor started giggling.

 

 

“Okay, okay. Now stop, it tickles!”

 

 

“There we go.” You finally stop the poking assault.

 

 

“Are you happy now?”

 

 

“I’m happy when you’re happy.” You flash her a blinding smile and thankfully she smiles back.

 

 

“I’ll be happier when you stop getting hurt just so you could come in here.”

 

 

“But then how would I be able to see you now?”

 

 

“You could just drop by and pay me a visit like a normal person would, you know. You didn’t need a medical reason just to talk to me.”

 

 

“Now….why didn’t I think of that before?”

 

 

“Because you’re Hyunjung the dumb dumb.” The doctor gives you your coat back but you were so deep in thought that you only snap back when Luda speaks again.

 

 

“See you tomorrow Hyunjung.”

 

 

Heh, see you tomorrow indeed.

 

 

-

 

 

A day in the life of Kim Hyunjung after the coma was pretty simple. Physical training in the morning, mid-day bickering with Sojung, a visit to the infirmary (<3) and acquainting yourself with the people at base. You weren’t actually from here, you were previously assigned to a different camp until they moved you back to central base to recuperate.

 

 

You weren’t complaining, this place was much more relaxed and calm from the previous camp. But you couldn’t help and think of the place you left behind. The months you spent there were completely blocked from your memory. You couldn’t remember the soldiers who fought with you and the staff you spoke to every day.

 

 

All you had were blurred faces and landscapes. There were times when you could think hard enough to remember features of warm brown eyes or a whiff of pancakes and syrup. Sometimes it wasn’t as pleasant as that, flashes of dimly lit hallways, listening for enemy footsteps, dodging bullets and the smell of burnt flesh.

 

 

You preferred to remember the lighter moments, happier ones but you accept whatever your head gives you anyway. Because having something was still better than nothing.

 

 

You had a sketchbook filled with fragments of memoirs. A training ground, the pot of succulents you probably took care of in your room, anything you could remember. Now you weren’t that good of an artist but your psychiatrist recommended this exercise, said it’d help you concentrate and maybe recollect your lost memories.

 

 

“That looks pretty.” Luda suddenly speaks up behind the bench you were currently perched at in the courtyard. You scramble to close your journal, embarrassed of the mediocre drawings in them.

 

 

“Uhm uh, yeah. Thank you? I guess?” The doctor just chuckles and takes a seat beside you.

 

 

“Can you tell me about it?” She asks softly, though she wasn’t your psychiatrist, she was still your doctor and knew about your history as well.

 

 

“I only remember flashes, as usual.” You smile a bit at her direction before continuing. “But I remember a book I wasn’t able to finish reading. Lots of other books to read kept on a shelf. I don’t know their titles but I think they weren’t mine.” Luda hums.

 

 

“It’s actually a good sign that you get these memory flashes. Does it hurt? Remembering?” That last phrase was unexpected, not even your psychiatrist asked you that.

 

 

“It does.” You never told this to anyone, not even Sojung. “I’ve even gotten to a point where I didn’t want to remember.” It was just so draining, mentally, physically and emotionally.

 

 

“Once I recall something, I don’t actually know what to do with it. Where does it fit in my jigsaw brain?” The puzzle pieces keep changing their form and now you don’t know if you’d be able to complete it in the end.

 

 

“Do you still want them back? Your memories?” You take a pause before answering. It felt like you weren’t sure but the answer already popped up right after Luda asked that question.

 

 

“Yeah, I still do.”

 

 

“Then we won’t give up okay?” She reaches over and covers your hand with her own. “We’ll figure this out, I promise.” Something about hearing that from Luda made everything feel lighter. Like you weren’t on your own after all.

 

 

“We will.”

 

 

-

 

 

The moment you realized you were in a dream was already a second too late. The world around you starts to disperse but you still try your hardest to hold onto your sleep. It doesn’t work, you wake up with a thud on the bedroom floor. You probably had the most distressing dream that you ended up falling over your bed.

 

 

The only thing you can remember from the dream was a soft giggle. It sounded really familiar but you had no idea how, probably something from your lost memories. You groan as nothing else surfaces, moments like these were the hardest. Everything you were lacking was probably already being broadcasted in your dreams but you always end up forgetting it and only getting the tiniest remnants. They weren’t even helpful at all.

 

 

You huff as you got up and got ready for the day. You couldn’t let this bring you down no matter how frustrating it was. Besides, you knew exactly how to lighten your mood. It was time to pay the infirmary a visit. The thought in itself already brought a smile to your face.

 

 

 

You peak your head through the crack in the clinic door and spot the good doctor already inside and watering her orchids and succulents. You found out that Luda liked to come into work pretty early, she wasn’t a soldier but she sure does wake up like one.

 

 

As much as you wanted to sneak up on her, you were holding two cups of steaming drinks and didn’t want to compromise that.

 

 

“Knock, knock.” Luda turns around and spots you at the door.

 

 

“Oh, Hyunjung, good morning.” It was a simple greeting but it never failed to make your heart flip a few times. Good thing you were used to it somehow.

 

 

“Good morning!” You hand her the drink you especially prepared. “Here’s your daily dose of the Hyunjung Special Brew.”

 

 

Luda accepts the cup and takes a moment to blow the steam away before taking a sip. “Hyunjung, this is just a normal cup of Swiss Miss.”

 

 

“But with more marshmallows!” Luda just chuckles before taking another sip.

 

 

“How did you even know I liked hot chocolate?”

 

 

“It’s kind of hard not to ignore the illegal amount of instant hot choco packs on your desk doc.”

 

 

The morning just went on with small talk and steaming mugs of chocolate for Luda and coffee for you. It wasn’t hard to fall into this kind of comfortable atmosphere with Luda. You realize it never was difficult, maybe that was what made you run after the doctor so much. That sense of familiarity she always carries with her. She was never closed off with you even when you were blatantly hitting on her.

 

 

“Hey doc.” You call after a few moments of silence. “Don’t you get annoyed with me? I mean like I always follow you around like a lost puppy.”

 

 

“If we’re talking about animals you’re more of a cat rather than a dog.” You humph at her indirect answer to your question. “I’m kidding, except you really do remind me more of a stray cat. I get the sense that you’re lost but no I’m not annoyed. It’s cute actually.”

 

 

“First you call me a stray cat and then you call me cute, seriously doc?”

 

 

“That’s all you got from everything I said? Really?” Luda flicks your forehead. “But really no, I actually like your company. As long as you’re not visiting me because you got hurt again.”

 

 

“I can’t promise that I won’t get hurt.” You feel rather than see Luda’s glare directed at you. “It’s uncommon that we don’t in my line of work, you know that.” You try to say softly, sensing the doctor’s disdain on the topic.

 

 

“Doesn’t mean I should like it.” She said it coldly but you could feel the overlying sadness to it.

 

 

Luda has probably seen as much horrors in the battlefield as you have. Tending to all sorts of injuries, saving lots but also unable to save others. It was inevitable, every soldier knew their life was always at stake and they go into a fight ready to die if it meant protecting the country. But it was different for Luda.

 

 

“I just hate the callousness you soldiers have sometimes. You’re ready to throw away your life but have you ever thought about those you’d leave behind?”

 

 

“I get that and I’m also guilty for it.” It was a constant thought you carried with you. Thinking of the grief your family would go through, it was enough to weigh down on you every day.  “We may act brave but underneath all that, we’re all scared of dying.” You didn’t notice your hands were shaking until Luda took them into hers.

 

 

“Then you better do your damn hardest to stay alive.” Her words weren’t said out of spite, instead it was just pure honesty but with fear.

 

 

“I will, I promise.” You will your hands to stop shaking and intertwine them with Luda’s smaller ones.

 

 

This was a promise you were going to keep no matter what.

 

 

-

 

 

You used to always imagine how you’d feel once your superiors would allow you to go back into missions again. It was always a feeling of elation, the next step to getting your old life back. You didn’t expect to feel slightly nauseous and scared once the commander finally gave you the green light.

 

 

“Hyunjung? Are you okay?” Sojung asks after you two leave the commander’s office. Thank goodness your best friend was there right beside you.

 

 

“Not so good.”

 

 

“I thought you’d be happier with this news, what’s changed Hyunjung?” You feel your jaw clenching, you knew exactly why you weren’t happy.

 

 

“Luda wouldn’t be too happy about this.” You found yourself telling the truth to Sojung instead. If there was anyone in the world you trusted the most, it was your best friend.

 

 

“Unnie…” Sojung rests her hand on your shoulder. She only calls you unnie when she wants to be gentle with you.

 

 

“I know, I know. This shouldn’t matter, I have a sworn duty and I shouldn’t let a little crush on a girl affect it. But…” You pause, trying to put into words the maelstrom of emotions you felt regarding the military doctor.

 

 

“It’s okay unnie. You don’t need to explain it to me.” You finally look at Sojung then, she had the most empathetic smile. It was then that you knew that she understood you, of course she did. “I can go with you to see Doctor Lee, we’ll do it together.”

 

 

Somehow that helped relieve your anxiety. Something about always having her by your side will always make everything better. Like you could actually face the world, it’s always been you and Sojung. You can’t imagine how the past Hyunjung felt not having Sojung in the previous camp. It made you think of how the old you even survived there.

 

 

It was just wishful thinking, but you hoped that the old Hyunjung didn’t suffer much before. Even though you knew it was quite impossible.

 

 

 

Luda just crosses her arms and doesn’t say anything else. You really wished she would, anything to get out of this icy atmosphere. You weren’t used to this, it was always warm around Luda, not like the arctic ocean. And she looked really intimidating sitting there like that considering she was tiny. Even Sojung excused herself out of the room, that traitor. You were going to deal with her later.

 

 

“Luda, please say something.”

 

 

She just sighs instead. “What do you want me to say Hyunjung? We both know whatever I say won’t change things. You’re still going back to doing dangerous missions and honestly I saw it coming.” She was rambling now but you let her anyways.

 

 

“It’s not like I could stop it, you were a soldier and you always placed your duty above everything else. Even above the people around you.” She said the last phrase almost like a whisper.

 

 

Something about the situation seemed all too familiar but you couldn’t pin it down as usual. Your forehead furrows trying to figure this déjà vu out. Flashes of a blurred face, you could see the frown forming on her face and then nothing. A headache was starting to form, you touch your temple and try to force something out but it doesn’t give you anything else.

 

 

“Hyunjung? Hey, hey.” You feel Luda’s hands cupping your face and force you to lock into her.

 

 

“Wha-“

 

 

“Why are you crying Hyunjung? Shouldn’t that be me right now?” She wipes your tears that don’t plan on stopping anytime just yet.

 

 

“I- I don’t know. I don’t know.” You shake your head, what was happening to you. It felt like your heart was hurting because of something but your brain wasn’t working along to understand.

 

 

“It’s okay, you don’t need to know. Just calm down for me first okay?”

 

 

“I’m sorry Luda, I’m so sorry.” You didn’t know why you were apologizing. For possibly breaking your promise? For what, you weren’t sure.

 

 

“This isn’t your fault, you did nothing wrong Hyunjung.” She envelops you into a hug now and it may have caused you to cry even more. But despite your ugly sobs, it felt right somehow.

 

 

Everything felt lighter.

 

 

 -

 

 

The first mission arrived faster than you expected. One turned into two then three until you were regularly in commission. Everything was okay though, you were in the same team as Sojung and you had the best captain out there. Jihyun didn’t cut you any slack but you felt more confident working with people you trusted with your life.

 

 

The difficulty of each job varied but you find yourself able to cope easily. It was a nice pace you were currently at and thankfully you only took home a bunch of simple bruises and scrapes. Nothing that could give the medical staff a heart attack or a stern lecture from one Lee Luda.

 

 

You involuntarily smile at the thought of the smaller girl. You were on your way to visit her, a routine you formed ever since the first time you brought her hot chocolate. She didn’t even need to look up to know it was you entering the clinic door. This was undeniably your favorite part of the day, having a simple morning with your favorite person (don’t tell Sojung).

 

 

It was easy how Luda fit in your life. There was no complications, like she was meant to be there. And you could only thank your lucky stars that you didn’t need to take long to find her. It was more like she found you instead. Maybe you weren’t lost anymore after all.

 

 

The only bittersweet mornings you have with her are the ones before going on a mission. You always made sure to tell her right away whenever an operation was going to take place. It eased both of your minds if you were being honest.

 

 

“I have to go now.” You stand up and do a little stretch.

 

 

“I know you already know this but take care okay? Remember our promise.” Luda raises her pinky and you connect your own with hers to seal the promise.

 

 

“I know, I promise.” You usually leave right after the pinky promise but something urged you to kiss the top of her head. The doctor obviously wasn’t expecting it. You give her one last smile and a salute before walking out.

 

 

-

 

 

The first step into the abandoned building already felt wrong. You weren’t sure if it was because the team had to split into two groups, one led by Jihyun and the other by Sojung. Before you could even inform Jihyun about it though, gunshots resonate on the other side of the building. Your heart drops in the realization that it was Sojung’s team who was currently under fire. Your first instinct was to follow, you needed to keep Sojung safe but Jihyun pulls you back not letting you break away.

 

 

“Hyunjung don’t act rash. We’ll do this strategically alright?” Her voice was clipped and tensed but you knew she was right.

 

 

Your team was already on its way to provide back-up but using another route to try and round the enemies. Jihyun commanded you to be in charge of retrieving the target, the operation still came first.

 

 

Everything went in a flash, a series of coordinated fighting. You tried to take down as many enemies as you could before breaking away from the team and fulfilling the mission solo. The ambush happening was the perfect distraction for you to go unnoticed.

 

 

Every single training kicks in as you silently move through the building. It felt like you were on auto pilot, aim, shoot, kill, complete the mission. It was scary how this side of you would take over just like that but then again it may be easier that way.

 

 

You return to your teammates and finally get a visual of your best friend. She spots you and you were about to follow suit till an explosion erupts too close to Sojung. Everything went into slow motion, Sojung tried to act as quickly as she could to take cover but it wasn’t enough. The scene before you seemed to act as a trigger to the part of your brain locking your memories. It was just all too familiar but you weren’t planning on letting Sojung go through the same thing you did.

 

 

The pain in your head due to the sudden recollection was enough to encumber your movement but you pushed all of it away to focus on saving Sojung instead. Her life always came first and you would shove through everything that would come in your way. You finally come into contact with the soldier’s form, she was limp but a quick check to her pulse signified she was alive.

 

 

“I can’t lose you Sojung, stay with me.”

 

 

 

The journey out of the battlefield and into the hospital was a blur. The base camp was already notified of the injured people and fortunately the hospital was ready for them. Sojung was in a bad state, she was unconscious and was losing a lot of blood.

 

 

Nurses were already waiting for you as you get down from the chopper ready to bring Sojung into the operating room. You follow them till the doors of the operating theater where you spot Luda already in scrubs lined up with other doctors.

 

 

She catches your eye and you try to mentally plead to her to do everything she can. It seemed like she understood you as she nods determinately. The doors close in on you and you fall back. All you could do now was wait.

 

 

-

 

 

You didn’t realize how popular Luda was till you heard every single medical personnel talk about her around the hospital. You were currently at the hospital roof after getting your arm casted in the emergency room and you hear rather than know from your superiors themselves that Sojung’s operation was successful. The talk while walking up to the rooftop was all about how the legendary young surgeon Lee Luda was able to lead another nearly impossible operation. Apparently a fragment of the grenade was lodged too close to Sojung’s heart but Luda and her team were able to safely remove it and stop all the bleeding without damaging the heart or lungs. Amazing honestly.

 

 

All the tension on your shoulders disappear then, you didn’t have to go see your best friend just yet but it was just a relief to know she was going to be okay. If you were being honest, you weren’t that scared, because it was Luda. It doesn’t mean that you’ve placed the trauma surgeon on a pedestal but you just had this unbreakable trust. After the events in the mission you fully understood why now as well.

 

 

You thought you’d feel mad, or betrayed that Luda wasn’t honest with you about her real identity but now you were more curious rather than anything else. Looking back, all the signs were there, the sense of familiarity was the biggest sign. You weren’t a very social person and that was because you held everyone at a hundred meter distance from you, only having a few people able to cross that border. But with Luda, it was like she didn’t even realize there was a border. She walked right up in front of you and decided to stay there. Like she was always meant to be there.

 

 

How could she not when she never left in the first place?

 

 

“Hyunjung.”

 

 

That ever so familiar voice calling out your name, it made your heart constrict but this time there was no memory block. Your head and heart seem to finally be working together again.

 

 

You look to the source of the voice where the tiny doctor was currently standing at. Her hair being blown away by the strong winds, it wasn’t as romantic as you’d think. Her face was being covered by her hair and you couldn’t help but laugh at the image before you.

 

 

“Going for a new look doc? It suits you.”

 

 

“Shut up you jerk.” She cracks up a smile and sits beside you on the bench.

 

 

You notice that she was wearing light clothes underneath her doctor’s coat. Instantly, you shrug your leather jacket off and put it around her shoulders. It was cute seeing her with a much larger jacket, you had broader shoulders so it looked like she was drowning in it instead.

 

 

“You got your memories back didn’t you?” You nod in response, she was straightforward as usual and not even going around the bushes.

 

 

“When the grenade exploded so close to Sojung, it was like the curtain covering my eyes were lifted up. It hurt so much.”

 

 

“You don’t have to explain it Hyunjung.” She holds your hand and you further intertwine them together.

 

 

“That’s unnie to you, you brat.” Luda chuckles, it was how you usually called the savage doctor when she was being a pain in the (which was every single minute of the day).

 

 

“Alas, it was fun till it lasted.”

 

 

“You’re the real jerk here.”

 

 

“I know, I know. I’m sorry unnie.” Her head drops and you see a sad smile on her face.

 

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

 

That you were my anchor in the previous camp.

 

 

That you loved reading books so much that you ended up storing some in my room because it wouldn’t fit in yours.

 

 

That the only meal you can properly cook was pancakes and everything else would burn if you tried to make them.

 

 

That I usually acted like the younger one and wouldn’t listen to you most of the time.

 

 

That I was so in love with you.

 

 

And I still am.

 

 

“I was being selfish.” Her answer was plain and simple. “I wanted you to remember. I wanted you to fall for me again, not because of the pretense that you already did.”

 

 

“You were scared I wouldn’t feel the same way as before.” It wasn’t a question, it was more of a statement.

 

 

“Stupid, I know.”

 

 

“Yes, stupid.” You earn a glare from the younger girl. “But I think I understand why you did it.”

 

 

“It was scary unnie, I almost lost you. I don’t ever want to go through that again.” You use your good arm to wrap over Luda’s shoulders and pull her close. She was so warm.

 

 

“When I went through all of this with Sojung, I understood why you were always so pressed about my safety. I’m sorry for always worrying you Luda.” She tucks her head in between your chin and neck, she really does fit into you so perfectly.

 

 

“You kept your promise. That’s all that matters. Welcome back Hyunjung-unnie.”

 

 

It wasn’t the grand homecoming you were expecting. You usually thought that getting back your memories would be such a mind blowing experience but it wasn’t any of that. Rather, everything made sense now. The puzzle was solved and you can finally say…

 

 

“I’m home.”

 

 

 

The funniest part was explaining to Sojung that you and Luda were already a thing before you lost your memories.

 

 

“How did you even fall for this idiot doc? Seriously, was there like zero other good looking soldiers in the previous camp?” Sojung exclaims animatedly despite having just recovered from a fatal wound. It also meant you could slap the back of her head because she was being a plain jerk.

 

 

“Shut up, for your information, I was the most respected operator then.”

 

 

“Right and apparently a really pretty doctor just happened to fall for your clumsiness.”

 

 

“But it’s true!” You argue back like a child. “Luda help me out here!” The said girl just points at herself with a chuckle.

 

 

“But unnie, I do agree with Sojung. I don’t understand how I fell for you either.”

 

 

“Wha-“ Wow the betrayal you were feeling right now. You were about to go into a rant but Luda stops you with her lips.

 

 

“But I did and I’ve never felt happier.” She says after breaking away from the short kiss. To say you were flustered was an understatement, you were a wholeass tomato.

 

 

“I-“

 

 

“Oh my god, please do this somewhere else! I get it! You two are in love!” Sojung cries from her bed and covers her eyes like she just saw the most scarring thing in her life.

 

 

“You’re such a big baby Sojung.” Luda just laughs and presses closer to your side while your best friend groans in annoyance.

 

 

You couldn’t help but smile. Everything was just the way they were supposed to be.

 

--

So it only took me less than 2 months to write this time and i think that's improvement. I hope you enjoyed another Luda fic from me fhdhshs idk why i always end up writing bout her.

Let's see which pair id be writing bout next :D

Thank you for reading! And if you wana scream to me bout wjsn and luda im on twt @shashakiseola