The bar was crowded and noisy, filled with drunken, excited revelers. The beer was a sickly shade of green, there were tacky paper shamrocks stuck to every available surface and almost every patron wore the green paper hats and green plastic Mardi Gras beads they had been given when they entered.

 

From a small stage tucked into a corner lit by dim track lighting, a band composed of middle aged men banged and plucked at their instruments. Their music was horrible but still the revelers bumped and grinded on a beat up patch of dance floor in front of them.

 

Hunkered on a barstool, the seat ripped and patched with duct tape, sat a man. He had an empty pint glass in front of him and tried to ignore the chaos. He wore the ripped jeans and long sleeved t shirt he had put on for work that morning. His eyes had puffy bags under them and the five o clock shadow on his cheeks made him look older than his 38 years. His name was Lee Minwoo and he was a construction worker.

 

“Get me another beer!”, Minwoo shouted at the bartender, who nodded at him and went to pull green beer into a clear plastic cup.

“Not that , it tastes like warm piss”, Minwoo yelled, flipping the guy off. He pointed at the Harp on tap to indicate what he wanted. The bartender filled the glass anyway and passed it off to another drunk that stood at the bar. He grabbed a streaky but clean pint glass, filled it, the foamy head sliding down the outside of it wetly, and brought it over to him.

“That’ll be eight bucks”, he shouted at Minwoo, who dug his hand into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a wrinkled wad of cash and dropped it on the bar.

“When this is gone, let me know”, Minwoo said as he grabbed the beer and brought it to his lips, gulping it eagerly.. Minwoo then his stool so that he could watch the St. Patrick’s Day festivities happening behind him. More than one person was already passed out on the sticky sawdust covered floor and there was even one table full of people passed out, cups of green beer still clutched in their hands.

The band swung in a raucous song that made the crowd shout and a few men stumbled their way to the dance floor, clad in tartan kilts. They danced around drunkenly, every so often lifting their kilts and flashing the crowd. (A true Scotsman wears nothing under his kilt lol)

Minwoo couldn’t help but burst into laughter at the screams from the crowd each time and he found himself clapping along with the song.

 

Closing Time

 

Minwoo was the last person out of the bar, not because he was drunk but because he had been pressed into service as someone to call cabs for the patrons that were too drunk to drive.

As he walked back to his nearby apartment; the bar was in his neighborhood and his regular after work watering hole, he noticed a person slumped in the middle of the sidewalk.

When he reached them he saw that it was a tall man dressed in green cuffed pants, black shoes with buckles on the toes and a green pullover sweater.

“Hey man, you need a hand?”, he said as he squatted down and tried to roll him over.

“Aye…..leave me alone….. ye’ll never get me Lucky Charms”, the drunken form mumbled and pushed Minwoo away. Minwoo laughed and reached for his arm.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Come on, let’s get you a cab or something.” Minwoo gripped his arm and stood at the same time. The man he had picked up off the ground was at least six inches taller that he was and stunk of cheap beer and oddly enough, fresh cut grass. The green sweater had a horse shoe woven into, a symbol of good luck.

“I said you won't be getting me Lucky Charms”, the man said again and tried to pull away from Minwoo.

“I get it, you think you're a leprechaun but the bars have closed, meaning St. Patrick's Day is over”, Minwoo said as he held the man more securely so he wouldn't end up back on the ground.

 

“Aye, tis true. I am a leprechaun”, he said as he tried to click his heels and almost tumbled both of them back onto the cold pavement.

Minwoo shook his head and wrapped his arm around the obviously drunken and confused man,”But I've seen pictures in storybooks…. You're wayyyyy taller than the leprechauns I'm familiar with.”

“Me mother was a leprechaun an’ me father was a goat herd. That's why I look this way”, the 'leprechaun’ replied in a strident voice.

 

Minwoo looked up and down the dark street and sighed when he didn't see a single set of headlights. He worried he wouldn't be able to get a cab and send this guy on his way.

“Well what's your name and number? Maybe I can call someone to pick you up”, Minwoo said dejectedly.

“McJinnie O’Birdy”, the man said proudly. Minwoo stifled a giggle and shook his head.

“And your number?”, he said, hoping the man would just hand him his phone so he could call someone.

“Doona have one. I've no need. I can call a rainbow to get home”, McJinnie whispered conspiratorially, as if he was worried someone might overhear him.

Minwoo looked at him in disbelief, this man must have either had too much to drink or he was totally off his rocker.

“Call a rainbow? Like with a pot of gold at the end?” Minwoo asked with a laugh.

“No…. We have this!”, McJinnie said and pulled a velvet pouch out of thin air. He untied it and pulled out an American Express black card. “No one keeps their treasure in a rusty old pot anymore. This is safer and easier to guard.” Minwoo stared, speechless and reached for the card but his hand was slapped away.

“Nope! This is my treasure!”, McJinnie cried out and made the pouch and card disappear again.

Minwoo blinked, this guy and his cheap magic tricks, he thought to himself as he turned and started to walk in the direction of his apartment.

 

“Wait! Where are you going!”, McJinnie shouted and chased after him.

“Well, if you can call a rainbow to get out of here…. What do you need me for?”, Minwoo called over his shoulder as he walked in the cool night air.

The leprechaun stopped in his tracks and lowered his head sheepishly.

“That's…..well…..I can't”, he sputtered lamely.

Minwoo furrowed his brow and turned back to look at him.

McJinnie lifted his head and looked at him,”….. they sorta banished me”, he mumbled under his breath.

 

“Banished? What for?”, Minwoo said as the giant man walked alongside him.

“I’ve lost another card. It wasn’t my fault though. The guy that asked to borrow it didn’t mean to run away. His feet grew wheels and he rolled away. And the one before that…….”, McJinnie pursed his lips as he tried to remember. “Anyway, I’m stuck ‘ere and there’s nothing to be done about it.”

 

As they walked, Minwoo’s apartment grew closer with every step. He didn’t want this man to know where he lived, he could be any manner of crook or conman.

“So why don’t you just use your magic little card to get a room for a night, or even just buy a house”, Minwoo said as he turned a corner and circled the block just before his apartment building.

“They’ve put a blasted limit on it. There is only enough for a few weeks. I’ve been staying at a shelter for magical creatures and tonight was my last night. I tried to convince them to let me stay longer but there was an old lady who lost her shoe and needed a place for herself and her 100 kids to stay”, McJinnie said, turning to look at Minwoo with puppy-kitty eyes. “Surely ye could put me up fer jus’ one night.”

 

Minwoo almost tripped over a section of sidewalk buckled up by a large tree root and McJinnie grabbed his arm quickly to right the smaller man.

“I’ve got work in the morning and it’s already late. I couldn’t possibly”, Minwoo said as he pulled his arm away and widened the gap between them.

 

“I promise I wouldna make a peep”, the leprechaun said, his Irish brogue getting thicker as he used a wheedling tone to try and get his way.

 

“I’ve only got a one bedroom, there wouldn’t be anywhere for you to sleep”, Minwoo said as they circled the block again and he could see his apartment. He wondered if he could out run the longer legs of the other.

 

McJinnie sidled closer,”The floor would be fine. Aine knows I’ve slept rougher than that”, the leprechaun said cheerfully.

Minwoo looked left, then right and was about to cross the intersection when McJinnie realized he was about to bolt.

“Did ye know that it is considered good luck ta have a leprechaun within yer household?”, he said suddenly.

Minwoo bolted and as he was about to cross into the street a car came out of nowhere and he just stared at it’s twin headlights as it barrelled towards him.

 

Suddenly he was jerked back swiftly and the scent of cut grass enveloped him. Long arms wrapped around him and supported him as he passed out and went limp from shock.

 

When he awakened, the scent of cut grass and bitter coffee in the air, he sat up and looked around. He was in his own place, somehow. Instead of his bed, he was on the couch and in the kitchen, a tall man dressed in a pair of sweats that were too short for him stood by the counter and added sugar and cream to two cups of coffee.

 

“Why are you here?”, Minwoo said as he got up off the couch.

“I used your key to let us in after you passed out last night”, the unwanted guest said as he turned and started walking towards him.

 

“And then you decided to make yourself at home?”, Minwoo cocked one eyebrow and walked over to meet him halfway. He took the cup of coffee and sniffed it before he took a careful sip.

“I hadn't planned on it, since you clearly didn't want me here, seeing as you would have rather been killed by a speeding car. But once I got you upstairs you clung to me like a spider monkey.” McJinnie chuckled and took a sip of his own coffee as Minwoo's ears turned bright red.

“Hey, where'd your accent go?”, Minwoo said as he realized that the supposed leprechaun was speaking clearly, without the thick brogue from last night.

Scratching the back of his neck sheepishly, the man replied,”I had a bit more to drink than I should have last night. It always comes through thicker when I'm drunk.”

“So do you still believe you are a leprechaun?”, Minwoo said as he moved to sit down at his kitchen table.

 

“I really am!”, McJinnie proclaimed and went to sit across from him. “I know I wasn't making much sense last night but I really am a leprechaun and I really am stranded here, almost broke, with nowhere to go.”

 

Minwoo pursed his lips for a moment and took another drink of his coffee before he spoke again. “So let's pretend I believe you. So if I let you stay here, what would I get out of it?”

 

“Um….um…. I can cook and clean. My great aunt was a brownie and I guess I got some skills from her”, McJinnie said with a shrug.

 

Minwoo tried to recall what little he remembered from a Shakespeare class he'd taken in school and the fairy tales his mother had read to him and remembered that brownies were the equivalent of the house elves in the series about that magical boy with the funky scar on his forehead.

 

“And I'm also good luck. I saved your life last night and I made you coffee”, McJinnie said, looking like a puppy begging for the last scrap of steak.

Minwoo exhaled with frustration as he raised his cup again.

“Fine, you can stay here. But I've gotta call you something else. McJinnie is a mouthful.” He was certain he would end up regretting this down the road but for now he would make the most of this bizarre situation.

 

“Just call me Jinnie”, the leprechaun said as he relaxed into the chair and grinned at Minwoo over the rim of his cup.

 

(Yeah, this is total crack lol I started this probably last year and never got around to finishing it. Back then I didn't know how it would end and this time I just made it up as I went lol

Happy saint Patrick's day, my little oranges!!!