... Chapter one.

I found it on my mother's funeral day. My dad told me to pack up the cupboard for all my mother's things. I refused, I did not want to touch any of those things. I want to remember that my mother was still there. She was there somewhere, looking over me. She has to be there. Suddenly, I was at my room, grabbing the wooden knob, and walking inside, pulling it shut after me, hearing the loud slam as I was eclipsed by darkness. I leaned against the door and scrutinized around me. It was dark, and eery. The feeling of lost and hurt. 

I pulled my legs close to my chest as I laid my head onto my knees. My mother was one of the world's kindest mothers ever. She cooked lunch for me everyday when I reached home, she comforted me when I trip over a stone and injured myself badly. Her old kindly smile flashed across my mind in a flash. I closed my eyes. Scenes of her pale face and almost dying look showed up. She was frail and weak. I could do nothing at all. I could only sit by her bedside every night, holding her hand. As minutes past, hours slowly crawled by and soon, weeks flew. My mother died a month later after being diagnosed with cancer. My dad could not do anything. We were a poor bunch of people on earth, barely surviving on a few hundred bucks a month. 

I recalled the first time I met him, his kindly smile to me. My crush, was the best thing other than my mother on earth. He would come by to my desk when teachers are not around and sit down to chat with me. During recess, he would sit a table near me and my friends. He would take a secretive glance every now and then. My only reason for living now is him. My mother died, I have no motivation in life at all. 

No one knew about my family's financial difficulties. He was a rich boy in school, but it does not mean that he would spend money as if cash dropped from the sky. He would constantly save up bits of money and use it when needed. I wished that i could confide with him, I wished that he loved me back.