The sounds of alarm as usual woke me up just like the other day, reminding me to start my day. Just like a cup of black coffee that always seems like giving me life every single morning.

But not today the alarm not waking me up from my lovely sleep but rather waking me up from a nightmare that going to happen soon. The coffee tastes more bitter than the usual and somehow didn't comfort me like it used to. 

 

Today is the day. 

 

The day that I've been waiting for and at the same time in my deepest heart I hope never going to happen. The clock show that it's 10 a.m. right now , for the last time I look at myself in the mirror fixing the tuxedo that I wear.

I guess this is it. 

I drive myself to the event and it took me 15 minutes to reach that place yet it takes me some time to get some courage to go in that place. I'm not really like to climb on stairs but right now, how I wish they have more stairs so it can prolong me to enter that place. Just in time before the event start, I arrive at the place, sitting beside chaeyoung and jisoo that looking at me like they want to ask a lot of questions. But before they can ask me, the event that I've been trying to avoid starting.

 

 

And there she is, the love of my life, my first love, my first heartbreak look like some kind of princess that come out of fairytale looking so gorgeous with that white dress that she design by herself special for this day. 

 

 

And there she is, Jennie the owner of my heart, on her wedding day holding her soon to be husband in front of the altar.

 

Just like all the imagination that I have, she suits all of this. In fact she deserves better if there's even any. But just like the reality that woke me up this morning, I realize that it's not me that she's marrying. 

It's not me that she going to spend her rest of her life with. 

 

I tighten my fist to hold the tears that waiting to spill out, trying to smile like I used to so that if she looks at me, she won't know a clue. But no matter how hard u try, sometimes it just won't work like how u want it. The moment me and her lock eyes and she smile at me, it feels like all my universe crumbling down. I thought it just gonna feel like a big wave come crashing at me, but it way worse then that. It feels like my universe falling apart one by one before my eyes and I can't do anything about it.

 

 

And that's it. 

 

 

It took me just one smile from her to making me fall on my knees for her, but it took me just one smile too from her for my universe come crashing down. She is my home yet at the same time she is also my kryptonite. My tears start to spill on my cheeks like a waterfall. Everything that I try so hard to hold on seems to crumbling down at this moment. 

 

Chaeyoung suddenly holding me in her arms. "It's okay Lisa, you can cry. It's okay I'm here."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can't do this anymore. I can't ruin her special day just because of my selfish self. 

 

"Here, please give this to her Chaeng. I don't want to ruin her wedding day. I gotta go."

 

"Lisa... Lisaa..."

Chaeyoung said while try to hold my hand. 

 

 

 

I walk out of the church after I gave chaeyoun