The vehicle pulled to a stop at the base of a very small hill. The sun is out, basking those beneath it with heat and light. By definition it was a perfect day--a stark contrast to the dismal mood that had settled inside the car. 

Yena had grabbed something from the backseat of the car--a bouquet of fresh lilies that they bought earlier. She settled the flowers on her lap, careful not to mess up the arrangement. She turned to her right to face her bestfriend who was looking straight ahead, face tight but with blank, emotionless eyes. 

"Are you sure you don't want to come?", Yena asked her. She'd been asking this since yesterday, and she knew already what the other was going to say but  she decided to ask her again. Just in case.

Sakura sighed. "I don't want to."

Yena reached out to grab her hand but Sakura pulled it away before her bestfriend can hold it. "Please, just go on."

There was so much strain in her voice, like she was fighting with herself inside. Yena nodded at her and got out of the car, lilies in her hand. Sakura didn't bother watching where her bestfriend went. She knew very well where she's going, and who she's seeing.

She sat there inside the car looking nowhere but ahead, afraid of what she might see when she turns. Sakura sat there with her hands turning into fists. She was so mad at herself because she was weak. She was a coward. She couldn't stand to see what was up that small hill. Sakura had wanted to come so badly, to visit that place to see her. But alas...she couldn't. And she doesn't think she can, even if it had been months since then.

Without noticing, tears have streamed down her face. Sakura brought her knees to her chest and curled into ball, crying  out once again at the pain she'd brought upon herself. The next thing she knew, Yena had wrapped her arms around her bestfriend, rubbing her back and whispering words of encouragement. 

"It's okay...", Yena had whispered. "I know you're not ready yet, so take all the time you need. And if you're ready to face her, I'll be here to hold your hand, okay?"

And just like that, another opportunity had gone by.

'I'm sorry, Minguri'

--

There had only been four girls in Sakura's life. It may seem like a lot for some people, but these girls had given her the best memories, even if they did chose to break her heart in the end. 

Three other girls had already broken her heart before Kim Minjoo came and changed it all completely. Sakura didn't want to fall in love anymore, but Minjoo had healed her bruised heart and took care of it gently, and so she gave in. Sakura was sure she was the one, the one whom she wanted to last many more years with. Minjoo had made her feel loved, in a way that only Minjoo knows. Everyone could see how in love they are with each other---and they were, so much. So much so that re-living that one tragic night still haunted Sakura. The one she loved had met a terrible fate in the form of a reckless driver on one rainy night. It had been six months since.

"You're thinking about it again.", Yena said as she pulled into the driveway of their apartment complex. She turned off the engine and gave her best friend's hand a squeeze. "It's not your fault, alright? It was an accident."

"It's just that...", Sakura started, teary-eyed. "Everytime I think I'm ready to see her, it turns out that I'm really not. And I want to see her. I just don't think I can...handle..."

She was acting up again but Yena was quick enough to pull her out of the car for some fresh air outside. The two didn't press the topic on any further because it was still a touchy subject. They quickly went up to their apartment to escape the heat and was met with Yuri who was waiting for them.

"Hey!", she greeted the two as she each gave them hugs---with Yena getting a kiss. "So, how was the visit?"

Yena gave Yuri a pointed look, silently telling her to avoid asking about it. Yuri quickly got the message and changed topic. She ushered them inside and made a gesture to the kitchen. "Well! I hope you guys are hungry because I bought pizza and hamburgers."

"Great, 'cause I'm starving.", Yena said with excitement and turned to her best friend who was making her way to her room. "Kkura, aren't you eating?"

"Save me some, I'll eat later.", Sakura replied as she closed the door. She could hear Yena telling Yuri about what happened as the two of them shuffled towards the kitchen. Yuri was Yena's girlfriend so she wasn't bothered that much that they were talking about her. In fact, she's even grateful that Yena had accompanied her today, even if it was a failed attempt to see Minjoo.

Sakura sat on her bed and brought out a pink scrapbook that was underneath her pillow. The cover was a baby pink shade. The pages were woven together by yarn. They held up together quite nicely considering she had the scrapbook since she was in highscool. Still, she carefully opened the book and grazed the single Japanese writing on the page with her finger: 愛

She flipped throughh the book and ended up on Minjoo's page. Tons of memorabilia have been pasted on several pages: movie tickets, stubs from their trips to the amusement park, even letters that they wrote to each other when they were still unsure of their feelings. Seeing all of these memories brought Sakura pain, but she tried to see the good in it. Minjoo has lived a good life, and Sakura was thankful she got to be a part of it. 

"I wish I could have thanked you.", Sakura whispered as her finger grazed Minjoo's face of their polaroid picture. "You were an angel."

She felt her eyes start to water and immediately closed the book. Sakura plopped down on her bead and stared up at the ceiling. Her ceiling had those stick-on glow in the dark stars, so it felt like looking at the night sky inside her room.

'I fall in love just as easy as I get hurt', she thought to herself, clutching the fabric of her shirt. Minjoo had been the last straw. Four heartbreaks in a lifetime, that's too much for Sakura who gives her all when she's in love. She shook her head as more tears streamed down her cheeks. She felt the pillow getting damp.

"I think it's time to stop.", she voiced, fully aware that there's no one inside the room but her. It seemed like she's lost it, but she had to hear it out loud, because it's her pact to herself. And perhaps she's hoping that the breeze would pick up her words and carry it outside and whisper it to people's ears---to let the world know that Miyawaki Sakura will not love again.

--

"Have you booked my flight?", she asked her assistant Hitomi who was tapping away on her iPad. Hitomi nodded at her and proceeded to tell her about her flight details and schedule for the following days. 

Once her assistant has confirmed her flight, nothing else really mattered. She had long stopped listening to Hitomi who was telling her about her schedules, meetings and deadlines. She looked outside the car window and saw high rise buildings, bustling people and lots of bright lights. Has New York always been this busy? It doesn't matter. Tomorrow she will be out of this godforsaken place---well, to her atleast. The place that had kept her away from the people, or person, that truly mattered. 

She held up her wrist and started playing with her charm bracelet, her thumb gently caressing the metal letter 'K' as the car zoomed through the city.

~

A/N: okay i wasn't meaning to write this in a sad kind of tone but it ended up that way and im really sorry :(( i want this to be really light and very fun to read but of course angst can't be avoided. anyway, i'll try to make it lighter on the next chapters!

also it's a short chapter and im sorry for that as well :(( i rushed to post this first one so i can get a head start and not let this fic collect dust in my account (sorry to all my other fics that i've abandoned)

also disclaimer!! i love minjoo okay im sorry i killed her off huhu T^T

make sure to upvote if u liked it and leave comments! i love reading what you guys thought about it :3

P.S. THANK YOU FOR THE 27 SUBS! I BARELY STARTED BUT THANK U FOR SUBSCRIBING T^T

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