Sakura entered the hallway and was shocked at the intricate black and silver paper decorations littered around. The students gathered in bundles as they loudly chatted around their lockers. The Japanese had almost forgotten it was that time of year – the annual school dance was coming up and yet again she was going to be going alone.

Had you asked her 3 months ago, she would have gushed about Chaeyeon: how good the younger girl looked in a suit; the way she has a smile on her face that brightens her day; the way she moves when she dances; her clumsy nature despite her girl crush charisma. Sakura could’ve talked for hours on all the things about the younger girl but now her name alone left a bitter-sweet sensation in – her heart ached and yearned for the girl’s touch even though she knew it wouldn’t return.

She sighed as she opened her locker and pulled out her books from her locker. Everyone else around was filled with a tumultuous mood but she couldn’t bring herself to get into the vibe – like a grey area in a vibrant painting – the flower girl slammed the metal door in frustration, the vibration shocking the people around her for a few moments before they too carried on with life.

Her hand pressed her face as she rubbed her temples – eyes firmly shut and lips pursed in frustration.

‘Damnit, Lee Chaeyeon.’

She mumbled as she saw the girl in question enter from the other end of the hall with her friends. Her smile mirrored the atmosphere that seemed to brighten Sakura’s life and caused the girl’s heart to skip a beat. The girl’s laugh was music to her ears no matter how many times she heard it; no matter how many times she told herself to stay unaffected by it, it was just something Lee Chaeyeon did to the girl.

She cursed as she began to make her way out to her classroom not wanted to feel the same pain for the umpteenth time that month, she could feel a tingling feeling pricking at her eyes as they teared up slightly. Her feet padded quickly against the floor and she panted a bit as tried to keep any books from escaping but being the girl Sakura was, her foot pressed against her loose shoe lace without knowing as she was sent toppling to the ground. Her arms flailed, releasing all the books in her grasp before she fell to the floor – books and papers sprawled around her.

Groaning, she pushed herself to her knees in a poor attempt to regain her composure – her arms swept everything into a pile as she shrugged her bag off and began stuffing it. Her eyes were used to the plain colour scheme of the books but when a bold pastel pink and cool blue mint caught her eyes instantly.

Her hand reached for it tentatively carefully studying the card its fullest – the pastel mint blue background complimented the pink flowers that complimented her namesake. Carefully, she opened it, a single line written on the white surface of the inside.

‘I don’t know how else to say this but you’re beautiful.’

Sakura blushed and frantically checked every possible side of the card before folding it and putting it in her bag with the rest of her stuff. Her mind raced with millions of questions as she quickly entered the classroom and sat down in her regular seat.

It shouldn’t have surprised her – she should’ve expected it to be honest but a second note with the same design sat neatly on the centre of her desk. She opened it and read.

‘Your voice is a song I never want to stop listening to, if you’d give me a chance.’

Sure, the thought made her heart flutter, but she knew nothing about who was sending these cards. A feeling in her gut told her that this wouldn’t be the last of them either. The messages seemed to re-awaken feelings inside her that she thought she had suppressed.

The messages made her want to know more: who as this person? Where could she find them? What did look like? There were so many things that could go wrong but her curiosity dominated over her rational thought – pulling her from the heartache of thinking of her exe.

One would’ve said that she used this to currently escape reality – to divert her attention from the stress and pressure she felt from everyone’s stares as she entered every classroom with a new message.

‘I’ll be your light in the darkness, just don’t let me go.’

‘You own my heart but you don’t even realise.’

‘When you look my way, the whole world seems to freeze.’

Her mind was busy picking every piece apart like a puzzle; the buzz of voices around her were muffled as she tried to pick apart the handwriting. Somehow it seemed very familiar to her, but she couldn’t exactly place it. It was nearing the end of the day and Sakura couldn’t help but speed walk over to her locker to avoid the incoming crowd she knew would soon come.

But someone was fiddling with her locker – their back facing her but it was obvious to Sakura who it was. A familiar black hoodie that she often stole from that person was filled with memories of comfort and heartbreak.

“Chaeyeon?”

The older girl inquired, her eyebrows furrowing, and her lips pressed tightly together. The girl snapped around, shocked to see the older girl – slightly agape. She froze. Neither of them moved but their eyes conveyed many emotions.

For Sakura, the pain was evident as she was faced with the loving look of her ex-lover (albeit it was also filled with shock). Despite what people may perceive of the girl, she wasn’t stupid and was quick to put 2 and 2 together.

Chaeyeon – her exe – was responsible for the cards that caused her dismay on this particular day. Her mind was conflicted. The younger girl had caused her countless sleepless nights of staying up late and thinking of what could have been; the constant self-doubts and the insecurities that developed from the unclear breakup. The smile that once caused her happiness filled her with pain; the voice that she stayed up late was now like a distant memory. Things that used to give Sakura a single sliver of happiness now did the opposite.

But seeing the younger girl in front of her again made something change inside her.

Like the emotions for the girl she thought she laid to rest suddenly awakened-

Her eyes darted to the ground, her cheeks warming with a pink hue. She didn’t want the same feelings to resurface this quickly – not yet at least.

“Um… This is awkward.”

Chaeyeon fiddled with the string of her hoodie, the other taking a card out of the Japanese girl’s locker. The same card as the ones she got throughout the day.

Her mind recognises its true. All the evidence pointed to the fact it was the person in front of her. But her heart wouldn’t accept it.

“Do you know how bad you made me feel?”

Sakura started, her fist clenching.

“When you left me for valid reason, did you think about how much it would hurt me?”
 

Chaeyeon stayed still, her eyes dimmed slightly but she took a step forward none the less.

“Do you know how many nights I’ve stayed up blaming myself? How insecure you made me feel?”

The younger girl hesitated for a moment. Her mind telling her to give up, but she took another step closer.

“But seeing you here, right in front of me again… Even the feelings I thought had died had come back to haunt me. The lightness you bring is unbearable. Lee Chaeyeon, why do you do this to me?”

The girl in question sported a small smile as she was just a few steps away from Sakura. The cherry blossom girl looked up bashfully – not afraid of her blossoming feeling at that moment.

The reason why she was so invested in finding out who wrote the cards was all just an excuse. She herself knew that she was lying whenever she thought her feelings had faded. They didn’t. They may have faltered but never wavered enough. Her thoughts always returned back to the younger girl when her hopes were getting dim. Chaeyeon was her sunshine on the darkest of days – the rock that she had always leaned on.

‘Maybe that’s why my days have been so dark – because you’re not around.’

The older girl thought as she looked up at Chaeyeon’s face. A blushing face to be exact. It came to Sakura’s attention that she had said what she thought out loud – how loud? She wasn’t sure but clearly loud enough so that everyone who was scattered around the corridor turned their heads towards the two.

At some point, a small crowd began to build and many people whooped and whistled as Chaeyeon and Sakura were barely feet apart. The tension that surround them before was now a mixture of shock and confusion.

“Do you mean that?”

Chaeyeon’s eyes pleaded for an answer from the Japanese girl, the card in her hand crumpling slightly from the tight grip the girl had around it. Simply from looking at Chaeyeon’s eyes she was tempted to give in. But she couldn’t. It was another heartbreak in the making. The younger girl left Sakura shattered to pieces once, who was to say that it wouldn’t happen again?

“Do you really mean that?”

The younger girl practically begged as tears welled in her eyes. She could see the hesitation in Sakura’s eyes – the broken trust proclaiming a thousand things to Chaeyeon yet she didn’t back down. She held her ground even though she herself questioned why she was trying so hard. She loved Sakura – that much was obvious – but she wasn’t sure if she could even explain herself yet. The whole situation was confusing but all she knew was that she couldn’t tell Sakura why she left just yet.

Sakura’s head spun – the little angel and devil on her shoulder were not fighting for once as they pushed the girl to talk with hidden courage that she didn’t realise she had. She expected it to feel like she couldn’t speak, like she was stuck under water but the words flowed out freely like a damn breaking and the emotions she wanted to hide were revealed.

“Yes I do.”

She shocked herself with her straightforward response – the whole crowd seemed to have lit up from the response as the cheers felt to have grown louder. Chaeyeon’s own face reflected happiness and a sense of shock as she rushed forward to close the small gap.

But Sakura took a step back at the last moment and left Chaeyeon with nothing.

“I do but… I can’t be with you right now.”

With those words, Chaeyeon was left frozen in a crowd of people as she was left helpless to only watch Sakura’s retreating figure disappear in a sea of people.