Dahyun sighed. She looked at the view from the top of the London Eye then stared into the space, “I wish she was here…” she mumbled. A tear dropped from her eye.

[5 years ago]

“Dahyun~” whined Sana. She rolled around her bed and called her girlfriend. Dahyun turned around looked at her. She sighed and took off her glasses, “What do you want now?”. Sana pouted, “Are you mad at me?”. She looked at Dahyun with her pouting face. Dahyun pouted back. “Don’t look at me like that, I feel bad now.” She put her arms out, “Come, let’s cuddle then.” Sana smiled and waddled to her. She snuggled her nose into her girlfriend’s neck. She then looked up and ask, “When is your next holiday?”. Dahyun thought for a bit and then shrugged. “Dunno, a uni student’s life is hard.” Sana frowned and hugged Dahyun harder. Dahyun Sana’s hair and ran her fingers through it. She held onto her face and put it in front of hers. “Look, how about I finish this essay and we can cuddle together. while watching Paddington 2. Deal?” Sana smiled, “Deal!”. Dahyun smiled back and kissed Sana’s forehead. “Just take a small nap for now, I’m almost done anyways.” Sana walked back to her bed and flopped herself on the bed. She closed her eyes, listening to the sound of Dahyun typing her essay. 

 [Couple of minutes later]

“Sana~, I’m done now. Let’s watch!” Sana opened her eyes and groaned. “Huh?” She blinked for a bit and saw Dahyun smiling at her. She smiled back and yawned. “What are we watching…” Sana dozed off again but this time she felt Dahyun flick her forehead, “C’mon, let’s go and watch Paddington 2”. Dahyun stretched her arms out for Sana to hold onto. But Sana clung onto Dahyun’s entire body instead, resulting in Dahyun giving her a piggybank. “Woohoo!” Sana pointed to the living, “Let’s go Cap’n!” Sana tried to do her best personation of a pirate but instead ended up sounding funny. Dahyun laughed and played along, “To the Living Room!” Dahyun ran to the couch while Sana clung on tightly and laughed. Dahyun threw her on the couch and started tickling her, “Oh no, the Kraken is here!”. Sana ended up laughing too much, almost choking on air and Dahyun continued. “S-stop! S-s-to-op!” Sana giggled and tried to stop Dahyun. Dahyun got tired and hugged Sana, “Too late! You’re mine now!” She covered Sana’s face with kisses and they both were still laughing. Sana kissed her back and said, “I was always yours and will always be.”. They both grinned at each other and cuddled.

“Ah! The movie!” Dahyun grabbed the remote to turn the tele on and went on Netflix. “I’ll go and get the snacks and blankets while you can set everything up.” Sana said. She went up and quickly ran to get everything. “Okay!” Dahyun looked back on Netflix and found Paddington 2. As soon she clicked on it, Sana was back and threw the blanket at her. “Let’s gooo!” Sana left the snacks on the table and jumped on Dahyun to cuddle with her. Dahyun was ready to catch her and managed to do it successfully.

[Halfway through Paddington 2]

Sana yawned and rubbed her eyes. “Are you sleepy? We could stop if you want, Sana.” said Dahyun. Sana refused, “Ah no, I’m just a tiny bit tired. It is quite late”. Dahyun looked at her with a worried look. Sana frowned and pulled her cheeks. “Smile!” Sana grinned at her. Dahyun smiled back. “There you go! That’s much better” said Sana, she cuddled with Dahyun and continued watching the film.“I just had a random thought.” said Sana. Dahyun paused the film to listen to it. “So missy, what’s the random thought?” asked Dahyun. Sana looked at her and said, “I wonder if we could go to London. You know, just travel around and see all the landmarks. Like the Big Ben!” Dahyun thought for a few second, “Ah! How about we save money and when we have enough, we can go!” Sana squealed. “Let’s do that!” Sana quickly got her phone on the table, “First off, bucket list. Lets think of places to go.” They both wondered until Dahyun brought out her laptop. “We can always google.” She smirked and started typing ‘Best places in London to go to.’. Sana saw three places she liked. “So, we can go to Camden Town, Oxford Street and Hyde Park. They seem interesting.” Sana began typing these down onto a list on her phone. Dahyun continued searching and planning.[Few minutes later of planning]

“Finally! Plan completed.” Sana said. She was relieved she finished it. Dahyun celebrated with her. Well a quiet one since it was like 2am in the morning. “So what’s our final plan?” asked Dahyun. Of course she knew but she wanted to double check so everything would go as planned. Sana coughs, “Ahem.” She looked at her phone and began reading the plan, “ So we have to save up about at least £100,000 for both travel, hotel and clothing. Maybe a small teddy on the way…” Dahyun raised her eyebrows. ’Teddy bears? When was that ever on the list’, she thought. She took Sana’s phone and saw no plan about the bears. Sana laughed nervously, “Haha…Uh um.” She looked everywhere but at Dahyun. Dahyun sighed and laughed. “Fine, we’ll get you teddy bears on the way.” Sana cheered and hugged Dahyun. They typed that extra detail on the plan. “Anyways, continuing the explanation, we will go to the tourist shops at Camden Town, travel on the trains and those tourist buses and then also have food at a nice garden themed restaurant!” Sana was proud of her plan. And so was Dahyun. But they had such little energy, they could only flop on the couch and end up laying there instead. Sana and Dahyun yawned. They felt really tired and just cuddled with each other on the couch while trying to sleep. “Phew, plan finished.” Dahyun said, she was grateful the plan didn’t take long to plan, “But I do hope we travel to London one day, maybe just with us two and not the others. It will be our secret date!” whispered Dahyun. Sana hummed and snuggled up against her. Dahyun could feel Sana sleeping peacefully and kissed her forehead. She smiled. “Night Sana, I love you…” Dahyun closed her eyes ,” I will always love you.” she whispered.

[7 months ago]

“Sorry Miss Minatozaki but it seems you have been diagnosed with cancer. We cannot cure it and you will be dying in 4 months time.” The doctor was explaining to Sana about her cancer and how it was to the point where she could not be cured. Sana cried at the news. She didn’t want to tell Dahyun. She didn’t want to upset her. She didn’t want to break her. Nor did she want her lover to be alone. She walked out of the hospital, seeing Dahyun looking worried. She almost cried but she didn’t. She had to be strong. She couldn’t break the news to her now. She had to think of something.“Sana? Is everything alright? What did the doctor say? What happened?” Dahyun was extremely worried and bombarded her girlfriend with questions. Sana gave a weak smile, “Don’t worry. about it. The doctor said everything is fine but I just need to be careful. That’s all.” She tried her best to smile normally. But she couldn’t. Dahyun could feel she was hiding something but didn’t question any further. Instead she wanted Sana to be happy. “Oh yeah! We can go to London in about a couple of months! Maybe in 4 months time!” Dahyun tried to cheer up Sana. But it made her feel worse. Sana tried to push the fact she was dying in 4 months time to the back of her head, pretending everything was fine. “Oh…That’s good.” Dahyun frowned. She didn’t like seeing like this. “Ah!” An idea popped up in her head. It usually made Sana happy. “Hm?” Sana gave Dahyun a puzzled look. Dahyun told her to not worry and dragged her somewhere.

[In a treehouse]

“Ehh, why are we here?” asked Sana. Dahyun ignored her. Through out the entire way here, Dahyun ignored Sana’s questions and just told her to trust her. Of course Sana trusted her but in this case she was baffled. “Wait here and close your eyes. I’m gonna perform magic!” Dahyun said. Sana obeyed her and complained about how Dahyun was going leave her. Little did she know Dahyun brought out a photo album. Dahyun laid it out on the table which was in the centre of the treehouse. She then opened the binds, letting the moon have its spotlight in the room. She hung up lights and sprinkled flowers all over the floor. She knew Sana wouldn’t peek, that’s why she didn’t blindfold Sana.“Okay, open your eyes now!” Sana took her hand off her face first. Then slowly opened her eyes. The sight was beautiful. Dahyun stood in front of her, arms out to show the decoration. Flowers, scattered on the floor. Her favourite type of flowers. The ceiling was filled with rosy pink lights while the moon was glistening up the room. Sana walked to the table and saw a photo album. She instantly knew what it was. The cover revealed it all. Words cut up from newspapers, saying. 

SAIDA 

and their signatures on the bottom. There was a picture of her on the left while. Dahyun’s picture was on the left. They both were forming a heart shape.

Sana cried. She crouched down and cried with the book in her hand. Dahyun was shocked. She didn’t expect this type of outcome. “Oh no no, did I do something wrong? What did I do wrong? Was the light too bright? Did the I put too much flowers? Did I-“ Sana stood up and shut Dahyun up with a kiss. She let go. Dahyun’s eyes went wide and she frantically started to mumble random words, “Wha- What- EH- huhhhh?” Dahyun was so confused. “I thought you didn’t like it, I thought I did something wrong, I-“ Sana kissed Dahyun again but on the cheeks this time. “Baby, you didn’t do anything wrong,” she wiped the remaining tears and hugged her, “In fact, you did something perfect, I love you.” Dahyun smiled. She hugged Sana back and whispered, “The moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t it?”. Sana looked at her and raised an eyebrow, “Getting all smarty here, are we?” Dahyun laughed. “Ah,no. Just something i learnt from the most beautiful. and perfect woman. in the world.” Sana smiled and they continued hugging. She wished time could just freeze right now. She wished she could love Dahyun forever.

[4 months ago]

“I’m sorry, Dahyun. I’m really sorry…” Sana looked at her sleeping girlfriend. While she was sleeping, Sana was already dressed. and packed. She cried. She couldn’t bear to do this but it’s for the best. She knew she would never be forgiven. But she had to. “Sana, let’s go.” whispered Jihyo. Jihyo was the only person who knew about Sana’s condition. Of course when Sana first told her, she broke down. But she took it in. She tried to not be reckless and wanted the best for both Dahyun and Sana.

There were two options. The first was the current choice right now, leave Dahyun and not tell her or anyone else. The other he options was to tell Dahyun and spend. her remaining days with here. But Sana didn’t want Dahyun to be too attached. Otherwise the pain would be higher. And she didn’t like a sad Dahyun. No one does. Sana sighed. “I’m coming, wait for me outside!” Sana whispered. Jihyo nodded and left. Sana left her letter on the table and kissed Dahyun’s forehead. “I’m sorry my love, but this is the best for you…” she whispered. She stood up and took her stuff. Before closing the front door, Sana said her final words, “The moon truly is beautiful, but no one can compete against you , my goddess. You shall have a happy life. I will watch over you…”. A tear fell from Sana’s right eye. She started to silently weep. Jihyo frowned and took Sana to go inside the car. “Let’s go, before she wakes up…”

[A couple of hours later]

Dahyun groaned. She felt cold. She tried to find Sana to hug so she waved her arms. There wasn’t anyone. Strange. Dahyun opened her eyes, blinking for a couple of seconds since she was blinded by the sunlight. Her room was half empty. Only her belongings could be seen.’Wait. No no. This mustn’t be what I think it is. Where’s Sana?’ she thought. She sat up and looked around her. Everything was so clean. As. if Sana had never lived her. She saw a note. Being a normal human she is, she picked it up and began reading it.

Dear Dahyun,If you have read this by now then I’m probably already on the plane. I’m sorry I have left you without saying anything. I’m sorry for everything. I can’t bring myself to say this but

Read the other side.

Dahyun looked perplexed. Was Sana tricking her? ‘This better be a joke I swear to God’ she thought. She flipped the other side. What was written had broken her. Had shattered her heart into a trillon pieces. Not million but trillion. Or even more.

I don’t have feelings for you anymore. I don’t love you anymore. I’m sorry.

Minatozaki Sana.

She knew this was serious. There wasn’t a 'Kim Sana' nor was there a 'your wonderful wife'. It was only her name. “Dammit Sana. Why. Why did you have to do this!” Dahyun got angry. Then pissed. Then heartbroken. She looked at her lockscreen, a picture of her and Sana. She couldn’t bear to see it. It infuriated her but also made her upset. She started crying. It was the saddest and biggest cry she had ever done. It went on for a couple of hours. She kept on crying. Even when she calmed down, the tears came back and memories started to flood her head again. It was an ongoing cycle that wouldn’t stop. A torture cycle.After that day, no one had heard of Sana nor Dahyun. People were told Sana went to study abroad. But no one knew about Dahyun. They tried to contact her, but there was no success. She deactivated everything. From Twitter to her phone number. She even moved out. It was as if there was never a Minatozaki Sana and Kim Dahyun, as if they never existed in the first place.

[3 months ago] [In Sana’s hospital room]

Sana looked out her window from the hospital bed. She had went to London. She knew she wouldn’t meet Dahyun but she had a gut feeling she would. Her gut feelings were always false so she always never believed them. The sight of London was unpleasant yet quite pleasant. Of course there was too much rain and the room was always chilly but the rain made it seem beautiful. The hospital was quite silent. Very quiet. But she didn’t mind that. As long Dahyun didn’t see her.Sana knew it was her last day on Earth, Jihyo knew as well. But couldn’t come. Sana wanted to be alone. Only wanted the sound of nature to accompany her and nothing else. She still wanted Dahyun but after what happened…she doubts Dahyun would know about this anyways.

[In Royal Hospital Entrance]

Dahyun sighed. She came to London yesterday to visit her grandma. She was already tired from walking. She went inside and asked directions for her grandma’s room. The woman politely guided her. On the way, she thought she heard a familiar voice. Maybe it was just her imagination. The awkward silence was bothering her. So she decided to break the ice. “Ah, may I ask if there are any cafes around here?” she asked. The nurse was kinda of shocked but replied nevertheless ,”Well, there isn’t a cafe but there is a cafeteria. I’m sure they do coffee and tea there.” Just as Dahyun was about to thank the nurse, she stopped. “Here is your grandma’s room, also go on floor five for the cafeteria!”. Dahyun thanked her and bowed. “You’re welcome, you can ask me more questions if you like. I’ll be by the reception, bottom floor!.” The nurse went off. “That was a nice nurse.” Dahyun thought. She smiled. She turned to the door and knocked on it, “Who is it?” asked the grandma on the bed. Dahyun opened the door and saw her grandma, sitting up. “Hi grandma! I’m here to visit for the time being.”. Dahyun sat down on the chair that was next to the bed. They hugged. Dahyun started crying. “Dahyun sweetie, why are you crying. It’s not like we are immortal.” Dahyun’s grandma comforted her until she started crying again. “I’m sorry grandma. I’m just…”. “Shushh. I know sweetie. I know what you mean.” they stayed like that for a couple of minutes. Dahyun sat straight up and wiped her tears. “How has the hospital been? Have you been eating properly? Do you need any medications?” Dahyun held her grandma’s hand. She smiled. Her grandma smiled back. She Dahyun’s hair. “Don’t worry. I’ve been treated nicely. And also the people here are quiet nice! Although it does get boring a lot. I’m glad you’re here.” Dahyun laughed. It’s been a long time since she last laughed. And a long time since she felt happy…

“Ah, Dahyun.” Dahyun stopped daydreaming. “Yes?”. “How has Sana been! I’m still hoping you guys are getting married!”. Dahyun’s face went grim. She looked down and tears started to flow again. “I’m sorry grandma. S-Sana-“ Dahyun hiccuped. “Sana and I a-aren’t. D-dating anymore…” Dahyun covered her face. Her grandma felt sad again. She comforted Dahyun once again and told her everything will get better. “Don’t worry, there are still many fishes in the sea. Maybe she wasn’t just the perfect person.” Dahyun nodded. “I hope so. I don’t want to deal with anymore pain..” “Ah, there’s a cafeteria. Maybe eat something there for you to calm down!”. Dahyun stood up. “Alright. Do you need anything?”. “Orange juice is fine. Smile!”. Dahyun’s grandma smiled at her and pulled her cheeks. Dahyun laughed. She smiled back. A genuine one.

[At the cafeteria]

Sana was bored. Jihyo had gone to the toilet so it was just her by the table. She would just look to see who would come in and out of the cafeteria. She saw someone. “Dahyun?” she whispered to herself. She squinted her eyes. It was Dahyun. “Oh no. What is she doing here? She can’t see me, not after what happened.” Sana thought. She tried to cover her face by pretending to read a book. 

Dahyun stepped out of the elevator. She opened the door and saw someone. “Sana?” She walked closer to realise it was her. Or was it? “Sana? Is that you?” Dahyun spoke. Sana removed the book from her face. She was scared. She didn’t want Dahyun to know. “Oh. Uh. Hey? Dahyun?” Her legs trembled. “Sana? Why are you here-“ Dahyun saw her clothing. She wasn’t visiting. She was a patient. “S-Sana? Why are you wearing t-tha”. Sana’s eyes went wide. She realised she was in her hospital clothes. “” she thought. “Oh um. I just like it!” She said. Dahyun didn’t believe her. “Tell me. Sana.” Sana couldn’t say. She wish Jihyo was here to save her. 

“Dahyun? Why are you here?” said Jihyo. “Speak of the devil” Sana thought. Dahyun turned around to see Jihyo. “Jihyo! Wait why are you here as well? What happened?” Jihyo stared at Sana. Sana knew what she was trying to tell her. “Don’t tell her. Think of a lie.” she mouthed. Dahyun waited for an answer, “So?”. Jihyo sat down, “Sit down first.”. Dahyun raised her eyebrows but sat down. “Well.” Jihyo coughed. “Sana came to do a new job! Isn’t that right , Sana?” Sana laughed nervously, “Yeah! I’m just wearing this to see what’s it like to be a patient. You know, just for experience and stuff like that…” Jihyo looked at the time. Before Dahyun could say anything, Jihyo and Sana sat up.”Well, it’s time! Bye Dahyun, it was nice meeting you!” said Jihyo. Sana just waved and bowed. She mouthed, “I’m sorry.”. Dahyun looked down.  “Why are you lying to me. Does it look like you’re the only one dying here…”. Little did she know Sana was actually dying.

[In Sana’s hospital room]

“Oh my god, that was nerve-wrecking.” said Jihyo. She walked up and down the room while Sana sat on her bed. “What am i supposed to do..” Jihyo hear sniffs. She turned around to see Sana crying. “Oh no, Sana don’t cry. It’s not your fault.” Jihyo ran up to her and started hugging her. “I’m sorry Jihyo. I can’t do this anymore. I wish I could tell her. But I can’t do her anymore damage.” she rambled on and on, Jihyo didn’t mind. She just wanted for Sana to be happy and leave in peace. Not with regret.

Sana felt something. “Jihyo, I think I’m dying now…”. Jihyo’s eyes went wide. Wider than Thomas the Tank Engine. “What!?” Jihyo got tissues to wipe Sana’s tears. “I can feel it. I think. I’m.” Sana tried to speak but words couldn’t form. She cried once again. “Ji-Jihyo.” Jihyo made Sana lay down and she sat next to her. “Sana, for god sake. Please. You better be joking. Not now. Not after your first encounter with Dahyun in London. Please no.” Jihyo cried. She prayed hard. “I’m sorry Jihyo. I’m sorry.” 

Sana remembered an old yet new memory. It was when she and Dahyun planned their trip to London. “I’m truly sorry Dahyunnie. I’m sorry we can’t go and visit London like we planned. I’m happy I saw you-“ Sana’s arms went weak. Her legs felt cold. She couldn’t feel Jihyo anymore. “Once again…” Sana’s eyes closed. She was smiling, with tears flowing down her cheeks. 

Jihyo looked up. She couldn’t feel any pulse. She felt no bumps. Only coldness. Only a dead body.

“I’m sorry Sana.”

Jihyo went out and ran to the nurses. “Give her my body!”

[Present]

Dahyun wiped her tears and turned around. She walked to the station until , “Dahyun!”. Dahyun turned around once again. She heard her name. “Who?” she thought. She thought she was imagining things.  Just as she was about to go inside, she heard another call. She was confused. “Who are you?” she said. She tried looking around. Arms wrapped around her waist, a head snuggled into the crook of her neck. “I miss you…Dahyunnie.” She turned around. It was Sana.