What’s the most threatening biker gang name you’ve heard of? Hell’s Angels? Mongols? Sons of Anarchy? Bandidos?

Take that name, and shove it up your--I mean, get ready to hear this one. This one will have your foundations shaken to the core, your paranoia piqued. Your crops? Watered. Your ? Dropped. My jokes? Old.

Get ready for: Big D. Energy. Intriguing name, menacing and serious. What kind of gang owns such a menacing name? You see, this is the name of an up-and-coming girl biker gang. A gang that was formed with five women who didn’t even own a bike. But eventually, they cruised all over town with their bar-hoppers, sweet little customized machines that had anyone drooling on sight.

To boot, the name just brings fear to anyone who hears it, it has even the biggest and baddest dudes of the bar making way for the queens. Even the most feared gang, The Sons Of , could not with them.

Why am I telling you this? Well, for backstory purposes of course. Geez, can’t a girl just ramble for her own enjoyment these days?

Anyways, Big D. Energy was a fearless gang that grew in number and sat the the mouths of everyone. But even that didn’t stop them from enjoying some wholesome Christmas celebration.

The five girls cruised their choppers down the streets with an aura of royalty. Their engines purred away the Christmas Eve real good, making anyone’s own insides vibrate if they were near. A vibration delicious enough to cause s--.

They had just gotten out of their usual hang out spot, the other members of the club cruising along with them until they parted ways to their homes. Now, it was just all five of them.

Irene Bae, the unmistakable leader of the gang, riding with a customized chopper like all the girls. Her bike was painted with a dark purple color and silver barbwire all across the fenders. She was a badass lady that wore sunglasses at ing night time, yo. Her long brown hair flowing freely across the chill wind and her petite body covered in lovely gear. Boots that could kick the house down, jeans that hugged her meaty legs and shapely with gusto, a leather jacket that fit very snuggly and perfectly (so clean and pristine too) and gloves.

No helmet though, the helmet.

She had the loudest bike, the most finely tuned one out of all of them, and the most menacing presence. Like all of the other girls, she sported their insignia at the back.

Big D. Energy.

What did the D stood for? That’s the scarier part, no one knows.

Irene was fearless, ruthless, calculating and stern with her subordinates. But at the same time she was just a softie but don’t tell her I told you because she’s going to bash my head against the wall. She doesn’t show it often, or ever, except when she’s in good company. Good company being the four other girls I’m going to mention. She started the gang along with Kang Seulgi merely as a small joke, but one day Irene found herself more and more drawn into the idea. She was attracted and attached to it, being part of a group and all.

So, one day she made the insignia and showed it to Seulgi. She was like: “That’s really ugly.”

Irene slapped the huge grinning bear and they went for the insignia anyways. Because you.

Riding right beside Irene was said grinning bear. Kang Seulgi, the second in command. Seulgi’s own chopper was a vibrant yellow color with a blue streak across it. A star was painted around the fuel tank’s orifice. In contrast, she was wearing sunglasses while also having sunglasses resting on the shirt’s neck. Her leather jacket was open because why not, her trousers were leather pants instead of jeans, her boots were boots and she ditched the gloves. Why? Because you, I suppose. Again. She also was sporting the no helmet look, letting her dyed golden locks flow with the wind.

In contrast to Irene, Seulgi was a chipper and lively young chap. Naturally, she was the most social butterfly out of the two so Seulgi was the actual person that drew in the initial crew. Everyone soon warmed up to Irene and learned to respect her and her girl energy, but Seulgi was the one they were following at first. Besides her friendly behavior, she almost looks to be sweetly naive at times, or maybe a bit absentminded. But when she was appointed as the second in command it was because Irene surely believed in Seulgi.

She hasn’t disappointed yet.

Behind Seulgi were the other three core members. Wendy, Joy and the young Yeri.

Wendy Son was a close friend of Seulgi in elementary school before getting separated in High School. And they found each other again when Wendy destroyed a wooden chair on a dude’s head at a bar. The reasons are unknown but we don’t need to know either. Seulgi knew instantly she would be perfect for the group and a good muscle to have. Besides, Wendy already had a reputation for having the greatest dance moves and a lot of horsepower in that bicep of hers.

Wendy’s chopper was all blue with stars twinkling all over it. In contrast to the girls, she was wearing a bandana with the same patterns as the bike. She wasn’t wearing a leather jacket but a denim jacket with the same insignia sewn at the back. Likewise she wore jeans (honestly if she were to wear the leather trousers I’d have a fit at how ing unfitting--.) and she wore pretty much the similar boots as everyone.

All of them are wearing boots. Okay? Geez.

Anyways. Wendy’s bike was the second loudest of all of them but because Irene--certified grease monkey--lost a bet and she had to tune the jesus out of Wendy’s christian bike and make it roar like the depths of Satan’s belly to make the entire world shake in their boots. So, it was a lovely purring machine of maybe 250 cc.

By cc, I mean Conservation.

Or at least I think. I don’t know about engines, jesus.

Next to Wendy was the playful Joy.  Guess the color of her motorcycle. Just guess it.

Zyke, it’s actually silver colored. Why? Because you! It’s silver with money sign printed all over. This was actually a metaphorical representation of the money she spent on that sweet beast she was riding. Mostly, she spent a huge sums of money to get it back after it got stolen by a no good hoodlum with nothing better to do for summer vacation. When the bike was found, she just put the money signs all over it. Stop asking me why, for s sakes.

Joy was a fine specimen of a lady. Her plump lips red, her jet black hair also flowing with the wind freely like monster-tentacles reaching to grasp a victim. She sported a leather jacket but instead of black it was brown, the inside had wool and it was so warm and cozy! The insignia was patched clearly on her back too, the collar popped up like all the girls sported them.

She came in packaged in a duo with her best friend and part time spawn of satan called Yeri. If Yeri was part time the spawn of satan, Joy was the other part time.

Yeri rode by her side with a pink chopper. Didn’t that scream badassery? She wore a leather jacket that was given to her by Seulgi during her birthday. So, she’s sporting it with pride and gusto. She’s been doing it for three years already someone please stop her. I don’t know if she even washes it, but she definitely put some black magic on the thing so it doesn’t get old ever.

Anyways, she was the youngest of all of them and the only one with her hair tied. The eagle bandana she was sporting was wrapped around her arm rather than her hand, her gloves matching the bike and covering every inch of her hand.

The bad girls were cruising through the semi-dead streets, passing by parked cars, drunk people throwing up on the side of the road, groups of people walking to their destination which was probably a club or a family house. And most importantly? They confidently cruised past a police station. Irene was stoic and with her face forward and on the road, leading her fluffy baby chicks, while the other girls decided to give very colorful gestures.

Wendy and Seulgi gave the passing cops the middle finger, Joy gave them the good ol’ finger guns and Yeri saw someone really cute so she did the ‘call me’ sign.

Where was I going? Oh, of course.

Eventually, the reached their destination. Downtown, the place was more lively. Way more lively. Lots of clubs with tons of people, diners with people going on their dates, people hanging out in the streets, having beers, a cop arresting a dude dressed up in alien costume, a radio host flirting it up with one of the diner’s cook--.

The town was busy. But in between all those stores with vibrant neon lightning and signs that read ‘OPEN! CHRISTMAS SPECIAL’ and ‘CLOSED, we have lives you know!’, there was a small spot that was closed for years. The entrance was boarded up with very mysterious wooden plank that couldn’t be torn easily, but the backdoor area was still accessible by passing through a small alleyway and reaching that dead end. That’s where our girls were headed. Believe it or not, the backdoor area was measly decorated with christmas lights and a plastic snowman. Sure, it was breezy and kind of cold, but no snow. So, why not have a plastic snowman decorating the dirtiest corner of the entire area?

The roars became purrs and soon all the girls parked their bikes and turned them off. Finally, they could hear each other.

“God, my hurts,” said Joy while patting her goodies.

And Irene almost jumped onto the bike and drove off. She just didn’t need to know that. And most importantly, her mind didn’t need to connect the dots as to WHY it hurt.

Now, it was time for their own Christmas celebration. Under the only functional light of this back alley, there was a sturdy door for the former staff of this place. Whatever this place was. Because really, it had no windows on front but looked like a normal store when the girls first found it. Rumors had it that it was a front for a brothel but this looked like a boring bakery--now turned into a hangout spot complete with a kitchen for the crew. Hardly the rumors were true in this town.

The girls got in by the backdoor and locked it. Now the fun could begin.

This was the hang out for the core members of the club or important reunions--or for any of the bikers that somehow needed to stay out of the streets. It had a few couches, a television, the aforementioned kitchen, a pool table, an actual table that was victim of many fights started by Uno, lots of arm wrestling started by Uno as well, and a lot of Seulgi spilling her drink. There were also tons of other stuff I’ll add along, don’t worry about it.

“Alright, losers. Time to get this show on the road,” Irene said with a huge childish grin on her face.

And that was the fearless, ruthless, scary leader of the gang. A woman who got excited with Christmas. To boot, Seulgi’s own grin was contagious and her tiny hops were everything but scary. With one big holler, everyone got to work right away. Wendy got her into the kitchen and began to make tons of cookies. Tons of them. Naturally, Joy followed behind. Irene, Yeri and Seulgi decided to break out the box of decorations and get the whole thing pretty for the long Christmas eve.

And as the two diligent women (Yeri and Irene) worked on setting the small Christmas tree decoration and the star on top of the tree, while Seulgi lounged on the couch (long story short: she basically destroyed a bunch of Christmas decoration last time so she was now grounded), the girls spoke. Yeri was the first one to speak.

“That woman at the police station was hella cute.”

Irene stopped in her tracks and looked over at Yeri with the biggest glare.

“What?” Yeri giggled, not at all afraid.

“You’re into a cop?”

“I mean, how would I know she’s a cop--.”

“She had a ing uniform,” Irene rolled her eyes--unable to stop the small smile at Seulgi cracking up at the background. “It was dark green, how did you not see it?”

“Listen,” Yeri rose a finger up as if to shut her leader up. “I was moving quite fast and I couldn’t see it very well. I thought it was just an ugly dress.”

“Even I could see it,” Seulgi chimed in after settling down from her cackle fit. “But I have to say, she was kind of cute.”

Irene’s head snapped to Seulgi’s direction so quickly. “Even more than me?”

Seulgi replied with a cheeky and mischievous grin.

Oof, so palpable that I made a few other fics about it, go check them out.

“Do you know who she is, Seulgi? You know everyone.”

“Everyone except that person,” Seulgi snorted and bursted into laughter.

“GODDAMN IT SEULGI, YOU HAD ONE JOB,” Yeri shouted, pulling her hairs a little there. Out of all the times Seulgi could help her, this was the one time she couldn’t.

Seulgi knew everyone’s parents, everyone’s grandparents, everyone’s cousins, everyone’s underwear. But not this woman? Yeri could almost cry in frustration.

“But what happened to the girl you were seeing, Yeri?” Irene asks softly, fully concentrated.

“She was a one-kicker.”

Now, I know in your world a ‘one kicker’ means a motorcycle that’s finely tuned and slick that starts in one smooth kick. In this group, a one-kicker means a person that can only reach once and they are knocked out. Naturally, this wasn’t desirable in Yeri who was far from a one-kicker.

“Dang, tough luck,” Seulgi pouted a little.

“Yeah, she was just like you, Seul. A one-kicker,” Yeri grinned from ear to ear.

And of course Irene cackled the house down without a care in the world.

Seulgi, however, she pouted more and crossed her arms. “Hey! I’m not a one-kicker.”

“You are!”

“Seul, yes you are,” Irene looked at her, suddenly speaking in a bit of a baby voice. “But you’re the greatest one-kicker.”

Yeri looked at Irene with wide eyes. “Excuse me, how do you know?”

“New phone, who’s this,” Irene said as she got on her bike and rode away with a peace sign.

And that’s how Regina George died.

I’m joking, but she really didn’t return until some time, after cruising through town to show off her bar-hopper and forget how bizarrely she ed up there. By the time she returned, Yeri was cackling and decorating while Seulgi was blushing hard and with her arms crossed.

“So, how do you know Seulgi is a one-kicker?”

“I don’t ever recall saying that,” Irene shrugged before cooly walking past Seulgi, but not before giving her a tender caress to her cheek. It made Seulgi smile a little. “Seulgi, can you see what other things we’re missing from the decoration?” She said, cleaning her hands as if there had been dust on them.

The tiger-faced woman sprung up from her lounging and began to see on the boxes. And there was nothing except on one there were a few broken Christmas lights and… a mistletoe.

Seulgi fished it out with a huge grin and the two girls looked at her with wide eyes.

Yeri shook her head. “No, don’t you dare put it on top of my head, put it on top of Irene’s.”

“KIM YERIM,” Irene shouted.

“Pucker up, ers!”

Then Seulgi began chasing the two of them. While Yeri ran one way, Irene ran the other way and she tried to use her ‘big unnie’ scary energy but Seulgi had big energy that countered it. She also had a big determination to smooch the living jesus out of the two girls. And tickle ‘em.

Last year, Yeri was the one with the mistletoe and she tackled Seulgi only to give her smooches everywhere while she was trying to pry free. And of course, in came the tickles. The tickles where everyone joined and Seulgi was the tearing victim. She laughed so hard that the whole tickling madness had to stop because Seulgi started to cry like the baby she is.

I’ll remind you these are bikers that people are afraid of. You’re welcome.

They looked like an authentic bunch of kids wearing leather jackets and boots. Seulgi chased Yeri, then Irene, then back to Yeri, then she chased herself, then she chased her dreams, then Yeri started chasing Irene for no reason and it all became a big concoction of running around and laughing like idiots. Somewhere in all of that, none of them knew what they were doing and the mistletoe was clumsily dropped by a giggling Seulgi.

And the girl who grabbed it was Yeri.

In the kitchen, Wendy had already finished the massive amount of cookie dough. Seriously, it could feed an army…

Or feed like four different clones of Kang Seulgi.

Naturally, her assistant for this had been the club’s very own heartbreaker, Park Joy--or Sooyoung, as Wendy affectionately calls her.

The two of them looked like they’d just stepped out of a flour shower and just partially cleaned themselves--or just cleaned themselves with just a towel while being blindfold. They did bother to take off the jackets. That isn’t easy to clean I assume.

I don’t own a leather jacket, sue me.

“Why’d you make so many cookies, Seungwan?” Joy asked suddenly, putting the first batch into the fully functioning oven. “It’s not like the others are coming.”

Wendy, or Seungwan in this case because you, turned and glanced over at her with her eyebrow quirked up. “Why not? You eat a lot, I eat a lot, Seulgi eats too much--.”

“I’m not planning on eating too much. I have to save for dessert,” Joy cheekily insinuates with a smirk. She sits on the metal table where they were working on and crosses her arms, deliberately pushing her closer together.

And of course, the petite canadian froze after a few seconds. She looked over at Joy, her cheeks flushed with a bright red color. “Do you mean…?”

Joy nodded her head with pride.

“Do you mean I forgot to make more desserts?”

And Joy’s smirk fell down to a stoic face. She could almost stare at the distance and see the stars twinkling in mockery, looking at the universe and its complexities. But even those complexities would be far easier to understand than Son Seungwan’s brain and her obvious lack of flirtatious skills.  “No, I didn’t mean that.”

“Oh?” Seungwan looked so relieved, it was almost cute. “Thank god. I never know when enough sweets is enough.”

“Seungwan,” Joy pouted rather cutely and she finally slid off the table, walking over to the canadian. “Is it possible for someone like you to be so DENSE?”

“No, I’m not Denzel,” Seungwan snorted. Dad jokes and bad jokes were her thing.

“Son Seungwan, I just flirted with you, how can you not see that?” Joy’s hand slammed the table in frustration. “Even Seulgi gets the flirtation when Irene unnie comes onto her.”

Seungwan blinked a few times and got a little near, soon whispering. “Irene is coming onto Seulgi?”

Oh for the love of S.

Joy in air sharply and exhaled just as sharply. She soon smiled bitterly and nodded. “Yes, Irene is coming onto Seulgi for a while now.”

“I don’t think even Seulgi knows--.”

“FOCUS. Seungwan, jesus, I’m just dying for you to ask me out once and for all. I made a clear innuendo there!”

“Wait, what was it?” Seungwan asked with a pout of her own. She was seriously confused.

“I WANT YOU TO EAT MY --.”

And they both stopped talking that very moment because of Yeri’s incredibly loud laughter and clap. Joy and Seungwan looked at each other in confusion and decided to skedaddle their way back to the main room.

The scene was lovely. Seulgi was crying, Joohyun was babying her and Yeri was having a cackling fit somewhere further down in the room, holding her tummy.

“What the ?” Joy asked.

Irene looked up for a nanosecond and screeched, which made everyone jump, except for Seulgi who was busy hiding her crying face with her hair. “WHAT THE IS RIGHT, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?!”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT HAPPENED? THIS IS MY FACE ARE YOU CALLING ME UGLY?”

“GUYS,” Seungwan interrupted the incoming fight with her hands up. “Stop yelling in caps, the author is cringing at the overuse of caps--.”

“My ,” Irene began. “I’ll yell all I want. I’m the leader. Now, Joy, why do you look like you not only snorted but also flopped on top of it?”

“OH!” Joy patted her face and wiped off some flour out. “We were making cookies.”

Irene gave her a look. “Suuuuure.”

Then Joy started to sweat profusely.

“Wait, why is Seulgi crying about now?” Seungwan frowned, crossing her arms.

Irene glanced over at Yeri who finally had stopped laughing but still had a giggle here and there. She was red, fully red. Red Velvet.

Hey, that would’ve been a better motorcycle club name.

“Well, we were chasing each other around with the mistletoe. At one point Seulgi drops the mistletoe--.”

“I can see where this is going,” Joy mumbles a little and looks at Seulgi who is still crying.

“Yeri grabs the mistletoe and we gang up on Seulgi. We tackle her to the couch and start tickling her. She starts laughing so hard she begins to cry hysterically and here we are.”

“We stan a queen that shows her emotions.”

Yeri suddenly approached. “Yo, Seulgi.”

Seulgi looked up slowly, her disheveled her hiding her puffy eyes. The moment Yeri catches a glimpse of it, she screeches in delight and Seulgi starts to howl in her sadness, feeling the ever so tender touch of Irene rubbing her back and patting it.

Her howl was so similar to a ferocious motorcycle engine, perhaps after being so close to them for a long--Wait, that’s not normal. Even for a fic that’s not normal?

All of them stop, even Seulgi stops crying.

Yes, those are motorcycles. But they could recognize that those engines were not from her people, not even from the guys they befriended over the years. Irene was the first to stand up, caressing Seulgi’s head. “Did you guys invite anyone over?”

All the girls shook their heads.

“Then we got company.”

And company they had for sure. Just outside their hideout were a handful of bikers. Just a few, all of them riding their bar-hoppers and parking just outside the alley way. On foot, the approached the hideout slowly and dramatically. Some of them cracked their knuckles, some of them had chains rattling against the floor, some others had a cigarette on their lips. All of them were wearing their leather jackets and vest with the insignia sewn at the back.

The Sons of .

All of those dudes were rude, looked rude, ate nails for breakfast and currently had pain. Don’t ask, it’s possibly from ting the nails they ate.

The hideout door opened and they were greeted with Irene’s imposing and fearless nature, her face stoic and unafraid. She walked up front and lead the small pack out of the hideout. They too walked slowly and confidently. First was Yeri, then it was Seulgi whose puffy eyes didn’t look so puffy under the hideous lighting, then it was Wendy and Joy. Their shoulders were squared back, their chins up defiantly and looking like they were the alpha females of the whole town.

They got closer to the group of tough guys just standing there in their territory. Soon enough, the leader of the pack, Mister himself (a big, bulky man with a gray beard and a bald head), came up front and faced Irene like a man with balls (in his , most likely).

“I don’t suppose any of you have invitations,” Irene began sharply and to the point.

Mister Silver beard himself chuckled at the guts this woman had. “We do what we want, and we have a score to settle.”

Seulgi, Wendy, Joy and Yeri stood in their places, glancing over at the frightening crew of bikers. They were ready to fight, to have a showdown and it was just five of them versus probably ten of them. Or maybe more, there was someone definitely guarding the bikes. I mean, most of those bikes had a lot of dollars going into them. If they were to be stolen somehow, they’d be in huge . Joy could confirm it. However, something piqued Yeri’s attention. She elbowed Wendy for a bit and gave her a nod.

Silent communication. With that, Yeri went inside the hideout.

The message? Wendy didn’t ing know. Yeri had seen too many movies. Still, she tried to hide her face of confusion and instead showed a face of pure constipation.

Irene and Silver Beard stared at each other for a while. They were playing their own game. The tension could be cut with a knife.

Then a watch beeped.

Ugh, how anticlimactic.

“Seungwan, was that your ing watch?” Irene spat out.

“Geez sorry. But it’s literally twelve in the morning. It’s Christmas and I wanted to call my mum and my dad. Can’t we have this fight later?”

“No.”

Said everyone, at the same time.

“Yo,” one of the bikers began. He was a blonde dude with huge sideburns. He pointed his chin to Joy. “What happened to your face, smart mouth?”

Joy looked around and cooly walked over to the Sideburn dude, Goldie as she called him. Then, she was all up on his face. “I snorted a ton of , er,” then she huffed her nose and smeared some flour on his face. He moved back instantly and his own nose was flaring with the ever boiling rage.

“You somehow look worse than you usually do,” Goldie said.

“Uh,” Seulgi suddenly interjected, now that her voice wasn’t shaky. “What’s that burnt smell?”

Everyone suddenly started to sniff, except for Irene who was still playing that eye contact game. And of course, Silver Beard blinked at the distraction.

“HAH!” Irene clapped and jumped back to give him the ever so deadly finger gun. “I won.”

Now they were really angry, that injured their ego.

Yeri finally came out of the hideout, where the smell intensified. She had her hands in her pockets and cooly walked over to where Wendy was.

Seungwan sighed and rubbed her temples. “Guys, it’s Christmas. Fighting is not something that’s on my list--.”

“Seungwan?”

“WHAT?!” She turned around and looked at Yeri with exasperation. First and foremost because she used her real name, second she didn’t like to be interrupted. Thirdly, you’re breathing in manual mode now.

“The cookies are… kinda burnt.”

Seungwan blinked a few seconds before Joy finally approached. “I beg your pardon?” Her voice was so quiet.

“The cookies are burnt. We kinda forgot about them.”

Seungwan breathed in deeply and looked at everyone with wide eyes, filled with rage. She cleared and leaned in closer to Joy. “Do you mind if we have our date at the hospital tonight?”

Joy couldn’t help but to smirk. “I dig that baby.”

“Seungwan,” Irene finally began. “Are you gonna fight or not?”

“They burnt my cookies, Irene. I demand blood in retaliation.”

Somehow, that frightened the bikers a little, making them step back.

Irene smirked and chuckled. “And they interrupted me when I was comforting my Seulgi bear. I want their ears for it.”

And that frightened them a bit more.

They were really starting to regret coming over. And they started to regret it more when the girls let out a ferocious battle cry and charged at them with all their might.

That’s how the Big D Energy Club spend their Christmas. The end.

What? Listen, I got other fics to write! I needed to finish this somehow, alright?