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“Chang Wook Oppa,

I am not sure when you would have found this letter, would it be an hour after I left from the café, or would it be a few hours later? As I write this letter, I wonder how long you would have spent with the lady in the basement of the café. However, it would no longer be of my concern anymore, wouldn’t it?

It is tough to say goodbye to you, especially in this manner, this is something I would have never expected for us.

We used to discuss our aspirations - your ambition to be a recognised singer and my ambition was to support you, and to write songs together. We used to laugh over breakfast together, cuddled to watch romantic comedies, and read the letters from your fans together. You mentioned that there was no need to worry about your fans as I was the only one you loved, and I agreed that we should keep our relationship underground. We visited cafes and pubs to ask for chances for you to perform and eventually I became a radio DJ with a weekend programme to uncover and appreciate alternative music – a platform for me to promote your music from time to time.

Our arguments have increased in frequency in the recent year – we might have moved tiny steps towards achieving your dream but these were not enough. Maybe, just maybe, the lady was able to provide what I am unable to give you – the tenderness and care that I thought I would always be able to supply. It might be an impulse, a rash action that you have taken. However, from the moment you gave in and leaned in to respond to her kiss, you have lost the right to end this relationship because at that very moment, you have ended our relationship.

I stood at the slightly ajar door to watch as she tiptoed to kiss you on the lips shyly, and then moving backwards to observe your reaction. Both she and I would have witnessed your stiff posture, and slightly agape lips, but the next moment, you chose to pull her in and responded to her affection. I decided to turn and leave, went upstairs, and leave the packed lunch with the café manager and informed him that you were busy.

As I walked back to our home, our past memories flashed – how we first met in a crowded lift where you defended me from another man’s attempt at touching my bum, my visits to the cafes to show support for your gigs, how we decided that I would give up on university and we would work together for our shared dream and us moving in together into this small rented flat when we both started having more stable incomes.

Why would this happen? What happened to us? How should I say goodbye? How do I say goodbye?

Chang Wook Oppa, I don’t regret anything. I love you, I still do, at this very moment. However, I am not able to let this go. I can’t pretend that I didn’t witness what happened in the basement. Chang Wook Oppa, I am leaving. I am leaving you, leaving our home, leaving my DJ job and ending our relationship. And I am saying goodbye through this farewell letter, because I can’t see you and not be reminded of what I saw.

Oppa, let’s end here. If you have thoughts of looking for me, don’t bother.

I wish you happiness and success.

Goodbye.

Ji Hyun.”

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Chang Wook cried as he read the letter, his fingers caressing the parts of the paper where the tear stains were evident.

Ji Hyun was gone. She was really gone.

He had returned home near midnight, after his night gig in the same café Ji Hyun went to. He had never suspected anything.

After his impulsive encounter with the lady, she had asked him if she would be his significant other now that they had kissed. However, Chang Wook apologised and told her frankly that it was an impulsive act, and that he was unable to commit to a relationship now. The lady was one of his loyal supporters and a stable source of support to him - she would be present at almost all his gigs in the different cafes, prepare meals for him, write encouraging notes – all that Ji Hyun used to do but was unable to do now, as she had taken up more part-time jobs and her DJ job required her to do more planning work. Ji Hyun had become busier to support his dream of producing his own songs, and to build and beautify their little home. However, he had been losing his patience as things were not working well according to his expectations. He wanted to succeed more quickly than ever as he wished to give Ji Hyun the better life that they had envisioned together.

Beep.

The lady had just dropped him a message.

Chang Wook switched his phone off and buried his head in his hands. He wondered how things came to this sorry state. Just about an hour ago, he realised that Ji Hyun was not in but he thought she might have just gone out to get some snacks. But when it was an hour past midnight, and Ji Hyun was still not home, he knew something was amiss. He called her but her phone number no longer existed. Panic overwhelmed him. He looked around – everything seemed to be in order in the flat, but when he opened her wardrobe, her clothes were gone, her passport was gone, and it hit him that she was gone.

Ji Hyun was gone.

He had never felt so afraid in his life. He shouted for her name in the empty flat, but not for long, as the soft echoes of her name daunted him.

Where would she have gone? Why would she do this?

He calmed himself down and thought of people to contact. He could think of no one. Ji Hyun's parents were no longer around and she had been living independently. She had no close friends, as her friends were her colleagues at her part-time jobs. He knew her manager at the radio station treated her well, and they even joked that he might be wooing her, but Ji Hyun did share that she was in a relationship. And no, he did not have the manager's contact number. However, he thought to himself that he could probably pay a visit to the radio station in the morning, since he knew where it was, given that he had dropped Ji Hyun off for a few times when she first started her job at the station a year ago.

He inhaled once more and he recalled the personalised communications system Ji Hyun and him shared - leaving notes on the fridge. They used to leave notes for each other everyday on the fridge but recently, they had not been doing so. In their first year of dating, they used to encourage each other for the day. In the recent year, due to their busier schedules and different working shifts, they could only manage to prepare packed meals for each other occassionally and as they might not be able to meet face-to-face as frequently, they would inform each other through the notes on the fridge. Sometimes, Ji Hyun would pack and send it to the cafes where he was scheduled to have gigs within the same day, and today was one of those days. Chang Wook recalled how he consumed the packed lunch with guilt and sending Ji Hyun a message to thank her, but she did not respond. He had just assumed she was busy.

He had debated with himself on whether he should be honest to share the adulterous encounter with Ji Hyun but he hesitated – he was scared. He was scared because he would never expect himself to do something so silly and wrong, he was scared of losing her because of his impulse, and he convinced himself that he might be able to sweep this encounter under the carpet. He never expected Ji Hyun to witness it.

His eyebrow twitched as an ominous omen, and his fingers trembled as he took the letter under the fridge magnet… Ironically, the song lyrics which they were trying to write together was still stuck on the fridge. They had been together for three years but they had not completed the piece together.

They always thought they have the time together. They thought they have forever, together.

Chang Wook clutched the letter, and placed it near his chest.

“Ji Hyun ah, Ji Hyun ah …” he could only wail her name between his sobs.

She was gone.