[Present time, in the Church]

She had caught a glimpse of him in the shadows. She could not help but let a small smile of acknowledgement grace her lips. She knew staying must not have been easy. But stay he did, though adrift among the crowds of well wishers. So many people, she thought; full of friends and families; the past and the present colliding, intersecting, bridging gaps, closing doors, opening ones anew.

Slowly, she descended the stairs, the train of her gown cascading behind her like a silvery waterfall of silk. She caught her mother's tear-filled eyes. Her emotions were always visible there for anyone to see. One can easily read her joy upon seeing her daughter. But visible also, the lines of worry etched on her forehead.

For as long as she's known her eomma, these were constantly written in her face.

 [Flashback, 5 months ago]

Worrying is a mother's perogative, she told Seung Hee. 

They had been sitting together crosslegged on the floor, her room strewn with various cloths and swatches of fabrics. She had returned not long ago from Belgium and came home to stay. Various sketches of dresses and patterns filled the space around them.

"I worry about you because you are so much like me. You looked for love even though the world has hardened your heart. And I saw how hard you tried to make your own path, not to make the same mistakes I made, not to live the same life I had....and not to love the same kind of man I did. You never truly opened your heart to love fully. But even so, you still had your heart broken. I saw it all, you know, and felt powerless to do anything. I have always carried this guilt.

"We never talked about this, have we? This has been something I've been wanting to tell you. I've always been ashamed for being a weak woman. All those times I dragged you to run away, to go hide somewhere else, I would look at you and tell myself to bear it a little bit longer, just a little bit more. Even though I knew I was breaking your heart by moving constantly, by taking you away from your friends, I convinced myself it's alright. I told myself Seung Hee will not be like me; she is made of stronger stuff than I am. I can do this because she is smarter, and she won't make the same mistakes I did.

"But I have always regretted the life I've shown you. Everytime your appa found us and caused us all those troubles, I still made excuses for him; let him recreate each and every time the havoc you had to endure. I was too weak. Still, I could not bear for you to hate him, to disown him, even after all that. All I could do was run away to hide you and hoped he'd change." 

Her voice trailed in a whisper, tears spilling down her cheeks. "Mianhe, Seung Hee-yah. Mianhe." 

Seung Hee dropped the fabrics from her hands and reached over to envelope her in a tight hug.

"Eomma, don't cry. I don't blame you. Yes, it was difficult growing up, running away all the time, but I was always thankful I had you. And I don't hate him; he was my father, after all. Growing up, I resented him. But he's long gone now and I have started to forgive him too."

"He was, at heart, a good man, though flawed," Eomma whispered.

The world is full of good men, Seung Hee thought. Men who meant well but still could hurt you; men who'd be quick to give you their love, their whole world to be with you, but just as easily shackle you to them. I've known many good men like that; I've loved such a one before too.

Eomma reached over to caress her cheeks. "I've prayed every night for you to find someone you can depend on. Someone who you can show your weakness and be unafraid. Someone who wouldn't regret you. I want you to be happy."

"I am, eomma. I have," Seung Hee replied. "I've found him; I've finally found the one who has put my heart at ease."

 

[Earlier, in the Bridal suite]

She sat while others hovered over her, their hands busy pinning, primping, fussing at her hair, her makeup, her dress. Someone else gently patted powder onto her already flawless skin.

She is already radiant, with her cheeks flushed and her lips curving on its own as if unable to keep hidden the happiness threatening to burst from within.

The current of murmurs continued to ebb and flow around her. She felt their happiness as tangible as her own. Their excitement came in waves and she let herself be swept along, as she listened to their chatter.

"You've outdone yourself, Seung Hee; your dress is so beautiful," her friend gushed. 

"She made Ryu Hyun's suit too," another said, while adding a pin to keep her veil in place. "He looks so awesome."

"He always looks awesome, but in a suit...! " another chimed in, fanning herself. The others laughed. Seung Hee's maid of honor elbowed the girl.

"Seung Hee won't mind us gushing, since he never looks at anyone else anyway. That's love for you." 

She let them talk, hearing snippets of their conversation swirl above her.

"Lucky girl. He's handsome and dependable, even his family is nice."

"Ya, he's so lucky to have her."

"Of course, he is! He's a great catch but she could have her pick of men, too, and he knows that. I'm just saying out of millions of men and women out there, it's just amazing how destiny can bring two people together, exactly at the right moment to meet. People meet each other all the time and nothing comes of it. Just think of the probability of something like this happening to any of us."

A slight knock muted the conversation, but brought fresh giggles and titters from her attendants anew, after he walked into the room.

Her heart leapt and this time her smile burst forth uncontained.

She barely noticed her ladies leaving amidst their continued laughters and teasings.

He sat next to her, his hands already reaching for hers, always.

"Are you alright? " Ryu Hyun asked. 

His eyes roamed her face, a slight frown of worry marking his brow.

She nodded, squeezing tightly the hands that hold hers. Their fingers intertwined; where his hands end and hers begin is blurred in each other’s grasp.

She looked up to meet the eyes that never once wavered away from her.

She stared at him, searching his face for any sign of regret. She need not have worried.

Some one asked me once, "Why him? Why do I love him?" she thought.

He is everything the others were not. He is secure enough of my love for him; I don't need to constantly prove myself.

He never had to change himself to love me. He didn't have to be a different person. He wanted me the way I am; seeing my strength, my ambition and success not as a reflection of his own worth.

I love him because my heart did not need any reason to do so.

"Did I do the right thing?"  Still she asked. They sat side by side, hands clasped in each other's.

He knew exactly what she was referring to- the conversation, the invitation, the meeting.

After all, he knew all about this past relationship. She didn’t hide anything from him, even sought his advice when she felt a moment of uncertainty for what she wanted to do. She needed affirmation, not permission.

"It needed to be done, this closure, for his sake not just yours." His voice is calm, soothing. 

This voice has become a part of her life, the sound as familiar as her own heartbeat. He understood her like no one ever had. He knew what drove her to push hard, this need to leave behind the tumultuous life she had growing up. She became self-reliant because she had to be. All these he understood without needing her further explanation.

"I don’t begrudge him meeting you first."

She knew what he meant. All these trajectories that converge and meet and pass in the course of a person’s lifetime have served a purpose. Hers helped mold her to who is today, even pushed her to the path she has taken where they found each other.

"The firsts don’t matter, at all. I will take all your last. You won’t need to search for another. I will be the last man you’ll ever want; the last one you’ll yearn for; the last love you’ll ever need."

[Again, the present time]

Her steps slow, sure. Her eyes couldn’t spare a look away now that she takes her measured steps up the aisle. She sees only him, waiting up front with his hands clasped together. Soon those strong hands will reach for her, to keep her close. Hands linking, closing the circle formed by two hearts that found the same beat.

She walks on, feeling her heart in . The past seems blurred now, the old chapter closing to herald the new. Those years, the months, days, hours...they dwindle to mere seconds now. 

Did it only really take a person 3 seconds to fall in love?  Was it at first sight?  She wondered.

Somehow with him, it was unquantifiable.

Before I knew it, I was already in love. I didn't have to think about it. I didn't have to search for the reason why.

I've had many different kinds of love, but none of them felt like this.

Because this time, my love became stronger than my fears.

.

.

.

[Epilogue, Woo Yeon]

He stood hidden behind the others, lost amongst the crowd. The sweeping arches above hung low keeping this side of the aisle darkest. Here though his tall frame drew a few looks, he can still be slightly obscured the way the shadows fell from the beams above. He didn’t want to bring any attention to himself, rather preferred letting himself be shrouded from curious eyes instead.

It is enough that he could see.

From where he stood, he can indeed see. He can see the whole panoramic view of where she will be.

His eyes roamed searching for other familiar faces, faces that might know him, know of them. But he need not have worried. In these people’s minds, he never even existed. There was no him and her.

Her life has changed so expansively after him. After being away from him.

Hasn’t it always been so, anyway?

But love is more than just timing. He’d learn that many times over.

They had many opportunities, certainly having their paths intersect at many points in their lives.

The times they were not together, she was always in the periphery of his mind. And he believed they were meant to be. No matter how long they were apart, their paths still meet.

He did everything he could to make it so. In spite of the many circumstances that kept them apart, he believed in their destiny. For the longest time he refused to believe otherwise.

His efforts were untiring in his quest trying to be with her. He was lucky enough to do so, those times when their paths would finally cross and he would once again be caught within her orbit.

He has always loved her. He never knew a time when he didn’t.

And for a while she loved him back. They were happy; those brief moments they were together, they were.

But theirs were just an eclipse of the hearts; a convergence that when it occurred was always eventful and unforgettable, but somehow just as transitory. It brought a brief flash of joy, but then gone, leaving behind only an after image of memories long buried in the past.

He realized she was always somehow a step ahead, there with him but never really fully his.

It was in his moment of weakness that he had mistaken her momentum as an abandonment. He let himself wallow in his own insecurities while she kept moving forward, steadfast. He felt left behind; each step she took to pursue her goals and dreams seemed to take her further away from him. That he felt a shadow of regret because of her had become their final undoing. He knew his mistake the minute it happened but remained powerless to keep her still.

Even now, as he watched her walk the center aisle, her steps are still the same steps heedlessly propelling her forward. But unlike in the past, this time there is no turning back. This path she is taking pulls her towards someone else’s orbit, a distance he cannot breach.

Do you love him? He remembered asking. He had to ask, though he knew he no longer had the right to do so.

She had come seeking him out, to tell him of her wedding.

Yes.

A word was all she said, but it squeezed his heart nevertheless. One simple word but it weighed him down, drowning him. It took his breath away. Her face bore witness to the truth she is feeling, one he couldn't deny. And for the first time, he couldn’t bear to look at her face.

You loved me once too. He said, words tainted with bitterness and full of regret.

I did; in my own way, I did, she replied.

He heard her sigh.

It was easy to love you, because you’ve always loved me so much more. But we weren’t perfect. I know nothing ever is. But it didn’t help we both were searching for ourselves, for who we were to become.

We were young, too busy looking for different things; seeming to settle with each other for the sake of familiarity and comfort. For me it was a difficult time. I was too busy trying to escape my past, still trying to prove I will not have the life my mother had. I didn’t believe love is the answer to everything. And I was stubborn enough, unwilling enough to compromise, even for 'this love'.

Her voice was gentle, as if it would lessen the blow to his heart.

Our love’s real enough for me.

It was, she answered him softly as she stood and bid him goodbye. He sat on the bench watching long after she had walked away.

He has always been the one waiting, standing still, while she is the one moving forward.

His smile is bittersweet, thinking of their conversation. He knew he will need to move on. Maybe this closure will be the thing to propel him forward, freeing him from her gravity.

He made himself watch her as she reached the altar and took hold of someone else’s hand, before finally letting his own feet lead him out, past the heavy wooden church doors into the brightness outside. 

For the first time he is the one walking away, leaving this part of his life behind.

smile it off.

smile wide once more

like someone who owns the world.

smile. 

smile wide once more.

you can do it.

but that's life.

it'll feel like only bad things happen.

it's all up to you.

smile wide once more.

smile brightly.

smile.

-credit song to OYWD movie

A/N:

Thank you. It's been awhile and I feel rusty writing here again. And somehow just like the movie, I feel my scenes and flashbacks were confusing and a bit off. Oh well. I will keep trying to do my best.