They saw each other on the park where they first met. Jaehwan could’ve chosen a place nearer, really, but he wanted the surroundings to add to the magic of the night. It’s the night he chose to confess his six-year-old feelings to Minhyun, after all.

He had planned this. And that’s saying something because Jaehwan is not a planner at all. He likes the thrill of just winging it. Hakuna Matata.

Jaehwan decided that this Monday will be the best day to do The Confession™. This day is not too cold nor too hot. It was the perfect temperature as it was not noticeable at all. It shouldn’t get in the way of their talk.

The park bench Jaehwan chose has a stunning view as well. It was overlooking Seoul, keeping every instance he and Minhyun compassed in its pockets. The city is big and the lights were unusually sparkling from this point of view. Minhyun will love this.

A few minutes passed and Minhyun came to the spot at exactly seven o’clock. He was a little out of breath from the steep stairs that was a known shortcut for the both of them. Jaehwan noticed that his hair is down tonight, he probably had the time to use a blower. The thought that Minhyun still makes an effort to look presentable made him smile, especially since Minhyun is probably not capable of looking unpleasant.

Minhyun waved and walked towards him. Jaehwan was leaning on the park’s railing, seemingly thinking of the meaning of his existence.

“Have you been waiting for long?” Minhyun asked. Jaehwan didn’t realized that he missed his voice even if they saw each other the week before.

“No, I just arrived,” his voice sounded like he’s about to cry. He’s planned his words for tonight but apparently he wasn’t able to prepare himself for the continuous waves of emotion he will definitely ride tonight. He didn’t know how to surf anyway. Silence loomed between them.

“Congratulations, hyung!” Jaehwan looked at Minhyun’s eyes and he seemed happy. He’s probably heard this a thousand times already since the results for the pilot licensure exams were released just two days ago.

This. This was also the reason why Jaehwan chose this day to confess. He didn’t want himself to be a bother for his hyung while he’s studying. He didn’t want that his feelings would get in the way of Minhyun reaching for his dreams. It’s not the way it’s supposed to be.

“Thank you, Jaehwannie. Yah, you’ve texted me congratulations already.” Both of them laughed at this, both looking at the scenery in front of them at the same time. Jaehwan sensed Minhyun’s quietness and he thought that he probably has a clue already as to what’s going to happen tonight.

Minhyun broke the silence first, “Jaehwannie, I agreed to meet here because I need to say something to you.” Out of all the emotions that Jaehwan could sense from Minhyun’s tone, it was contrition. He sounds apologetic. Jaehwan felt his chest clutch and suddenly it’s all too windy. It wasn’t supposed to be chilly today. Jaehwan could feel the nervousness in every cell in his body.

It’s definitely not going according to plan.
Jaehwan swallowed and inhaled silently, readying himself for whatever Minhyun was apologetic of.

Minhyun gazed at him, observing Jaehwan’s initial reaction to his pronouncement. Fear and anxiety could be seen in his eyes and Minhyun almost didn’t want to continue to the direction of this conversation. 

The night was stealing Jaehwan’s coolness and he was thinking he’d break a sweat if Minhyun doesn’t talk for the next ten seconds. But then he realized, Minhyun was probably waiting for his response. “What is it hyung? Is everything okay?” Jaehwan exhaled a long breath.

“Oh, it’s not that grave.” Minhyun hums before continuing. “I guess I just wanted to let you know that Ong Seongwoo asked me out.”

The world stopped. Everything became muted and Minhyun is all he can see and he feels like he’s getting farther from him.

A tear fell, and then another one. The next thing he knew was that he was looking to the far side of Seoul to hide his sniffling. The handsomest man he’s known was beside him and he couldn’t bear it if he’d see his ugly crying and let him know that the ugly crying was actually about him.

This night was supposed to be sweet and cheesy and romantic but it was turning out to be an actual hundred and eighty degrees from what he planned; it’s now sad and mopey and all senses of lonely. He was not even expecting that Minhyun would accept his feelings after his confession. Jaehwan just wanted to confess and let his feelings out there. But having a third party is a whole different scenario.

Ong Seongwu is Minhyun’s batchmate in the academy. Jaehwan admits that they’re perfect for each other—entering the academy only with high recommendations from their previous schools, graduating side-by-side, and now they’ve topped the licensure exam, earning the number 1 and the number 2 spot. It’s a bonus that Seongwu hyung is objectively good-looking because he models in fashion magazine. How could he even compete with someone like him?

Minhyun was quiet beside him. The gap between them felt like a mile but all he felt was the warmth of this boy he had been loving for six years. His chest felt heavy and he badly wanted to sob to let it out. I need to let this out. So Jaehwan looked at Minhyun in the eyes, tears pooling and falling continuously as if this was the one he’s rehearsed and not his lines he’s about to say.

“Minhyun hyung, I asked to meet up because I was going to confess.” Minhyun’s face went into a frown and his eyes were sincere. “I… I’ve loved you for a very long time. I’m not expecting you to like me back and all, I guess I just wanted you to know.” Jaehwan didn’t feel confident with his own declaration. He felt betrayed by fate. The cosmos was probably laughing at him now. He was probably the greatest contradiction the world has seen.

And yet here he was, ready to give Minhyun all the galaxies, if only he’d ask.

A lot of things considered, Jaehwan thought of the things that would’ve possibly changed the outcome of this night.

Would it be different if Jaehwan had confessed two years ago, when Minhyun’s glances at him actually felt like he meant something to him? Would his chances of being with him increase if he had just been honest to him when they were forced to stay in the closet together because of a dare? Would it be easier to accept that Minhyun will never love him the way he wants to if he never confessed at all?

Minhyun pulls him into a hug. The warmth is relaxing and he wished that it would last longer in case things turn bitter and that it’ll be the last time he’ll hold him.

Slender hands cupped Jaehwan cheeks, thumbs wiping the tears on his cheeks. Minhyun lifted the younger’s head, eyes full of sincerity intensely looking at the other. He shushed quietly, trying to calm him down. Jaehwan finally looked back at Minhyun and all the feelings are back.

“I didn’t accept Seongwu’s feelings.” Jaehwan inhaled a deep breath. “Because I like you so, so much and it pains me to see you cry. Please stop crying.” Minhyun requested softly.

Jaehwan hugged Minhyun tighter as if everything happening was not real. It was.