It takes to Yerim like cool waves of the sea do, crashing to the shore and lessening the burning heat of the sand it touches on the beach in a midsummer’s noonday (a curious thing, Yerim thinks, because it’s the middle of winter right now). She knows she should be shivering in the freezing weather and bundling up in thick layers of clothing like the rest, but she finds that she needs not worry about those things any more. The reason being that there’s a warmth that bubbles inside of her, familiar and sweet, like a cup of hot chocolate.

 

It foams, swirling its aromatic steam in the air, begging to be let out and shared, but she thinks that she should keep it under control somehow. She’s afraid of coming off as too much because everyone’s just kind of laid-back and feeling the weather. So when the waves call for her again, she screws her eyes shut to listen to its voice. It’s made up of the soft rattling of the heating unit on the far corner, the buzz of lazy chatter, and the new members’ solo songs playing on repeat in the background. Like a peculiar triad chord. It’s the lullaby that sings to her as she sits, back straight against the wall, waiting for her heart and the warmth in her to simmer down.

 

Yerim opens her eyes and finds herself scanning the practice room she’s in, eyes surveying her members with attentiveness like she’s seeing them for the first time all over again.

 

Haseul, Ara, and Yeojin are all sitting on the table, pushed off to the side, their heads bent over what seems to be the youngest’s homework. A little ways away is Hyunjin and Heejin, taking selcas and playing with manager unnie’s phone. Jinsol, whoc sits opposite from the two, is on her Samsung tablet, ordering who knows what this time from Shoppee. Jungeun is napping on the spot next to her, with Jiwoo’s flannel shirt draped over her torso. And Jiwoo, as usual, is a restless ball of energy, bustling around the room instead of sitting down on the floor like Sooyoung or Chaewon or Hyejoo.

 

Yerim stares and stares until Jiwoo’s timelapse pacing leads her to a thought. The bubbling inside of her calms and becomes as gentle as a caress while it takes over her being, spreading out to her limbs and to the very tips of her fingers and her toes.

 

Time sort of flew, didn’t it? She still remembers how she first came here with nothing but a dream and a boatload of doubts, which she tried her best to keep from Yeojin, but not as much as from Haseul. Despite there being months and years in the way, it all comes back to her vividly as if it were yesterday. The seemingly never-ending practices that honed their skills and beat their bodies into shape. The pressure of monthly evaluations that resulted in fingernails wearing out from compulsive biting. The solemn look on every remaining trainees’ faces when another one just stops showing up to the daily dance and vocal classes.

 

A lot more than the tough times, she remembers the good ones, the happy ones. The excitement that takes a hold of her when Haseul or Jungeun lets them go on their ice cream and junk food runs to the corner convenience store. The adrenaline that courses through her veins every time they play random dance games to relieve a bit of their stress from the practice sessions that usually last until dawn. The coziness of just being with each other that always beats a hot pack and a padded jacket on a cold winter day like today.

 

Yerim nods to herself. She isn’t going to be caught up on only the hardships, on only the friends who left (whether they chose to move on to things far less risky or they lucked out on getting chosen to stay). She, her dearest unnies, Hyejoo, and Yeojin have made it this far. They’ve made it this far together. And now, with only one member left to reveal with Chaewon’s MV release being a couple of days, they are all very much close to debuting as a full group — to realizing the beginning of their dreams.

 

“Owww,”

 

A soft whimper brings Yerim back to reality and she trains her eyes on the heap of bodies, half-sitting and half-lying on the floor by the mirrors.

 

It’s probably because she’d been too deep in her thoughts, but she didn’t notice that Jiwoo had stopped her pacing to join her unit members and fight Sooyoung on who should help Hyejoo put on medicated patches to her neck and back. The aforementioned youngest rubs the back of her neck with a look of embarrassment on her face as she watches her unnies argue.

 

“Hmph!” Jiwoo puffs her cheeks out and glares as Sooyoung holds the box of patches over her head. “I want to put it on Hyejoo! Give it to me, Sooyoung unnie! Give it!”

 

“Sorry, Jiwoo, but Hyejoo’s my daughter too and I’m doing it.” Sooyoung replies.

 

She pauses to throw an awkward smile over her shoulder at Haseul, who was watching them too, albeit, with mild amusement and with something akin to a warning, but she’s far too soft and far too helplessly endeared with their antics for it to be anything near alarming. It’s just like how Haseul usually is with them, Yerim realizes.

 

Moving past the comically sweet scene unfolding in the center, her gaze gravitates towards the side to Chaewon who stares at Sooyoung and Jiwoo with a small frown on her usually calm and beautiful doll face. She’s just starting to wonder if that’s how Jungeun looks at her and Jinsol whenever they get on their usual hype when Sooyoung jumps to her feet and lifts the box way above Jiwoo’s reach. Jiwoo stomps her feet in retaliation, but her irritation quickly vanishes as she flashes an evil grin three seconds later. It’s cheesy and straight out of a drama as Jiwoo surges forward and throws her arms around Sooyoung’s middle, catching her off-guard and causing her to lower the box.

 

A silence takes over while almost everyone, even Heejin and Hyunjin took a step out of their world to watch, waits in anticipation for what will happen next. With how Jiwoo and Sooyoung were staring at each other too deeply, as if the world was turning in slow motion for them and only them, Yerim thinks everyone saw it: Chaewon swooping in to steal the patches from them.

 

“Hey! No fair!” Jiwoo exclaims, slowly and reluctantly disentangling herself from Sooyoung.

 

Sooyoung coughs and turns to Haseul again with the same awkward smile from before, but this time, it looks a lot more apologetic than anything.

 

However, being done with their untimely (or is it timely? This does happen a lot, with or without Jungeun’s participation) and overly affectionate bickering, Chaewon sighs and pulls out handfuls of sticker patches from the box.

 

“Hyejoo needs the patches and you were dilly-dallying.” She mutters.

 

“Hmph. You’re no fun.” Jiwoo sulks, puffs her cheeks out. “I’ll go play with Jungeunie.” And skips to the corner where her same aged friend is still dozing off.

 

Chaewon simply ignores her and focuses on Hyejoo. She lifts the younger’s shirt and, for a second, Yerim glimpses the purple and yellow bruises that marred her friend’s skin. Something swells in her chest at that moment, throbbing for a good minute and adding heat to her warmth. Those bruises are proof of how hard Hyejoo had been working on perfecting her solo song’s rigorous choreography. It goes without saying that Yerim is again reminded of how much an admirable friend Hyejoo is, always trying her best and never wavering at what she does. Yerim knows she’s lucky to be debuting in the same group as her.

 

The room falls back to its lazy dynamic and Yerim breathes. Haseul, Ara, and Yeojin go back to huddling. Heejin and Hyunjin resume whatever they were doing. Jinsol scrolls through her tablet again. Jiwoo leans her head on a slumbering Jungeun’s shoulder as Sooyoung approaches them with a satisfied smile on her face.

 

Everything seems like it’s back to normal, but at the same time, it doesn’t.

 

She couldn’t quite put her finger on why yet, but for the next couple of minutes, Yerim just resorts to thoughtfully watching Chaewon stick menthol patches on Hyejoo’s lower back. It’s obvious that her soft and tiny hands will away the pain as she rubs comforting circles there.

 

She hadn’t put much mind into it before but there’s something about the shy smile Hyejoo throws at Chaewon. It keeps Yerim from looking away and her heart starts to pound louder and stronger in her chest. The air is warmer and smells of roses while the lights overhead flicker brighter than it did earlier. She sees Chaewon shoot Hyejoo a smile of her own before the two of them look her way and grin at her as if they want to let her in on a secret.

 

Yerim has never looked away so fast from anyone in her entire life.

 

&&

 

Hyejoo’s mildly annoyed face swims to her vision and it’s the first thing she sees when she opens her eyes. Her friend might be saying something to her but she can’t be sure. Her brain is too foggy with sleep to even register anything other than Hyejoo’s pouty lips and knotted eyebrows (Jinsol had better watch her back because she could be dethroned as eyebrow queen soon).

 

The sounds eventually find her and she blinks upon hearing the hard tone in Hyejoo’s voice.

 

“I said get up, Yerim! We’re going to be late for school!”

 

Yerim finally realizes that her phone’s alarm is going off. She reaches her arm out for it but Hyejoo stops her, catches her wrist.

 

“Don’t put it on snooze so you can go back to sleep!” She half-whines, half-warns.

 

Yerim keeps her finger poised above the phone’s screen as she sends a pout her way. Hyejoo only stares blankly at her, so she ups her game and brings a tremble to her lips like she’s about to burst into tears.

 

“Fine! Fine. Five minutes! But that’s it.” Hyejoo concedes and Yerim swipes right with as much satisfaction her drowsy state allows her.

 

“If you aren’t up by the time I get back, I’m calling Jungeun unnie.” Hyejoo adds with narrowed eyes before she turns on her heel.

 

As soon as she exits the room, Yerim lets out a groan. Why is it always so difficult to get up in the morning? She turns on her other side and sees the bed next to her already empty and feels a little amazed at the consistency. Heejin and Hyunjin always make it a point to leave early so they’d have plenty of time to grab breakfast from the bakery down on the mainstreet.

 

She reaches up and prods the mattress on the bunk above her, waits for a reaction of any sort to confirm that Yeojin is still there, still in slumber. The minutes pass and she waits and waits but nothing happens. She ends up sitting in surprise. Did Yeojin really get up before her?

 

The door swings open and Hyejoo returns, this time already dressed in their school uniform, top button of her shirt undone and tie hanging loosely around her neck, a half-eaten piece of toast clutched in between her long fingers.

 

“Oh, good. You’re up.” She says, around a mouthful of food. “Well, go wash up now.”

 

Yerim purses her lips and throws herself into their morning routine. Some things just can’t be helped. Before she became an idol, she was a student first. And unfortunately, she still is. So, she washes up, puts on her uniform, and goes through her pen collection to figure out which ones to bring for note-taking (she ends up shoving everything into her backpack). When she finally makes her way to the door, Hyejoo’s already there, tapping her sneakered feet impatiently against the floor. Like... always.

 

Yerim shoots her a toothy smile.

 

“Relax! We’re on time!” She pats her on the back as she slips her feet into her own sneakers. She pulls at the tabs to make sure she’s wearing them properly before she continues. “There’s like ten minutes before the bus even co-”

 

Hyejoo doesn’t let her finish because she grabs her by the hand and pulls her out the door with her.

 

Yerim’s smile doesn’t waver as she allows herself to be dragged to the bus stop. It’s empty except for the two of them. Their breaths fog in the air as they stand under the canopy, waiting. Yerim takes the time to look around their quiet neighborhood. A scooter carrying the old milk man passes by. The bell attached to the bakery’s door across the street rings with the entrance of a customer. Ashes stray from the cigarette that a glum taxi driver is hitting a couple of meters away from them.

 

From the corner of her eye, Yerim sees Hyejoo move. She turns to her in time to see her pull out a facemask from the front pocket of her backpack. She holds it out to her with that lazy look on her face.

 

“Jungeun unnie said to not forget to wear this.” Hyejoo mumbles.

 

Yerim takes the mask and puts the garter loops on her ears. She lifts the mask up to her chin only, so Hyejoo can see the smile on her lips.

 

“You should wear one too!” She wiggles her eyebrows at her. “And you know, in less than a month, you’re gonna need it to hide your face like this as well. Can you believe it? We’ll have to stop pretending that we don’t know each other!” She shakes her head a little, feigns regret.

 

Hyejoo snorts. “You sure don’t sound too happy about that.”

 

“I mean, it was fun fooling the kids, was it not?” She shrugs.

 

“You just want to say that it’s fun teasing me.” Hyejoo deadpans.

 

“Well, there’s that too!” Yerim giggles. “The look on your face whenever I wink at you when we run into each other in the school grounds is always so funny!”

 

“Funny?” Hyejoo’s mouth gapes in disbelief.

 

“Yeah! You panic. Your eyes go wide and you become all stiff. It’s like how Chaewon unnie is when anything mildly surprising happens.” Yerim muses. “Huh? Now that I think about it, her habits are rubbing off on you, Hye.”

 

Hyejoo promptly shoves her hands in her coat pockets and looks far ahead with a tentative look in her eyes.

 

“Is that a bad thing?” Her voice suddenly drops to a whisper.

 

“No. Why would it be a bad thing?” Yerim asks, nudging Hyejoo playfully on the side.

 

Hyejoo is able to smile and even takes out one hand to pat her head. Yerim tries to sidestep and reaches her hand out for revenge, somehow hoping that it would slow the rapid beating in her chest, but it doesn’t.

 

Luckily (or is it the opposite?), their bus arrives soon and like usual, Hyejoo climbs in first and Yerim follows. Their preferred seats are vacant and they take it — Hyejoo sitting by the window and Yerim by the aisle. They fall into the silence that is mostly routinary. Hyejoo watches the moving scenery they pass while Yerim looks straight ahead. The bus reaches the next stop where a handful of people get on and her mind unconsciously starts the countdown of how many more stops are left before she has to change seats.

 

Without a doubt, she knows that this is her least favorite part of their morning routine and she takes a deep breath to expel out its unpleasant taste. As her lungs fill with the late winter air, her heart overflows with brilliant expectations of the coming spring. It will come to an end soon. In less than a month’s time, this little secret that she and Hyejoo have to keep from their classmates and basically, everyone in the school, will end. While she likes to pretend that it saddens her, she’s more than happy that it will be over soon.

 

She doesn’t know how but she’s always known that Hyejoo hates that part of their morning commute too. The part where she has to move to a different seat as they’re nearing their stop, to make it look like they aren’t coming from the same place. Maybe it’s the look on Hyejoo’s face when their eyes meet and she has to remind herself that they’re supposed to keep their distance, all while the rest of the kids are having lunch in the cafeteria or while it’s freestudy period and the whole year mingles, making friends outside of their own classes, as they loiter in the library.

 

As that mopey look in Hyejoo’s face replays in her mind’s eye, Yerim realizes that there really isn’t anything she hates more than seeing her friends and her members unhappy. The fact that Hyejoo is both her friend and her member justifies the stirrings in her chest. It just makes sense that she doesn’t want her to feel sad.

 

“We should do something special for that day!” She exclaims.

 

“Hmm? What day?” Hyejoo asks, looking at her in interest.

 

Yerim grins. “Oh, you’ll see.”

 

She looks into Hyejoo’s eyes for a moment, noting the way her eyelids droop and the way her lashes curve upwards. Yerim smiles at her friend and pokes her on the cheek once. Hyejoo whines and she takes that as her cue to get up and make her way to the front.

 

When they finally reach their stop and hop off the bus, instead of feeling sad at how Hyejoo has to choose to lag behind by pretending to tie her shoelace so she can walk on ahead without a problem, Yerim chooses to feel excited.

 

“Only less than a month.” She mutters to herself as she approaches the school gates.

 

&&

 

Filming with all 12 girls still doesn’t feel real even after hours into the shooting, Yerim thinks, squeezing past a frazzled staff member in their way-too-crowded changing room.

 

(Truthfully, it just barely counts, since they were filming the girls as solo artists rather than as a complete group. But an old, familiar thrum of energy ran across her skin the moment they arrived on set. It was similar to the surreal feeling of performing for the first time on a live stage — Yerim could taste the anticipation palpable in the air. Soon.)

 

Reorienting herself next to Chaewon and Heejin, she attunes herself to the conversation, and returns the wide grin Haseul has been wearing non-stop since they’ve arrived on set; her leaderly pride in the group is as obvious as her dress of feathery down.

 

“Because because! Talking too much makes loud sounds and these elements make Loona TV interesting!” Haseul says, rapid-fire and cheerfully.

 

Their second newest member smiles something of a parody of Haseul’s beaming expression. “Oh really? However, it’s too noisy!”

 

Heejin looks disbelieving at the turn of their conversation, glancing away from her phone to join the conversation. Though Yerim’s attention is drawn towards their blonde member instead, still smiling indulgently at their leader.

 

Yerim notes how Chaewon is more relaxed on the other side of the camera for Loona TVs, now. Her smile is less wobbly, and the anxiety she tried to keep tapered down almost entirely gone.

 

Yerim feels a swell of pride for their second-to-last member, for how far all of them have come after a two year project.

 

Chaewon catches her gaze. Her grin stretches wider as she tosses a deliberate gaze towards Haseul — who still talks a mile a minute — and rolls her eyes exaggeratedly.

 

Caught off-guard, Yerim smiles instinctively in return. There’s no time to dwell on how her stomach flutters at the unexpected attention when one of their staff members calls her name:

 

“Yerim! Go get changed for your filming!” She dismisses the butterflies as pre-recording nerves and thinks nothing of it.

 

By the time she returns, Cho PD is gone, and the Loona girls are shuffled into a new configuration, and Jungeun and Jiwoo are front and center of the Loona TV camera. Yerim snorts at how Jungeun fires bullets from her cross, Jiwoo’s eyes rolling up as she takes each and every shot.

 

“Her reaction was really nice,” Jungeun holds up her hand up for Jiwoo to clap against, “what a good friend.”

 

The camera loses interest once the moment is done, swiveling away to their other members; it misses the way Jungeun flusters when Jiwoo turns their high-five into a hand hold. It’s hard to find moments of reprieve in between the filming chaos, so Yerim glances away and inches towards the couch to give them their second of space.

 

Chaewon ends up beside her again, looking thoughtful as she watched their members, jacket dwarfing her tiny frame.

 

Yerim hasn’t made time to sit down and talk to the other girl yet. She knows Hyejoo took to her like a moth to flame; by the end of Chaewon’s first week they were attached at the hip. Yerim hasn’t been as lucky, palms tending to slick with nerves as soon as she said hello.

 

But something about being the only two on the couch insulates them from the room’s noisy chatter. It compels Yerim to speak.

 

“...This is really chaotic,” she says, watching Yeojin bounce around with the new camera she snagged. Her palms slide over the legs of her pants as Chaewon’s curious gaze lands on her.

 

“Really? Isn’t it normally like this?”

 

Yerim startles. It’s hard to remember that Sooyoung and Chaewon didn’t have the exact same experience as the elder members did, dragging around just a couple of maybe-members before growing into an entire pack of permanent people.

 

“It was easier in LA, when we only had three people to take care of. Having so many members filming for the same teaser is new.”

 

Chaewon nods thoughtfully. “Three to twelve is a big leap.”

 

Yeojin succeeds in acquiring the camera, but talks endlessly about her pet snail. Graciously, Vivi plays along, nodding in agreement with whatever comes out of Yeojin’s mouth.

 

“It was a little weird not having everyone around,” Yerim admits. “We used to talk about things like, whether Hyunjin would like eating this, or if Jiwoo would like seeing that. It’s different being able to film something with everyone.”

 

Chaewon looks pensive, and Yerim wipes her hands on her legs again.

 

“I’ve always wanted to be in a big group,” The blonde says after several beats. “At least as big as Oh My Girl’s group.”

 

Yerim tries to hide her surprise. “Why?”

 

Chaewon hums. “It looked like the most fun, having a lot of friends and people to perform with. But it’s more crowded and noisy than I expected.”

 

Yerim’s heart swells.

 

“We’re still fun though, right?” Yerim grins, bright and optimistic in a way she knows people are weak against.

 

Chaewon slants a smile, eyes filled with mischief. “Right.”

 

Yerim’s own grin wavers, confused at the flutters returning, stronger than before. Her heart fizzles against her chest, a newly uncapped cola, but then Yeojin leans against her and the moment is lost.

 

Their talk helps calm some inborn nervousness Yerim had been experiencing. Their interactions become less stilted throughout the day, with Chaewon bemused enough to play along with her antics. And Yerim finds they have a similar sense of humor.

 

Chaewon’s deep, gruff mimicry of Heejin’s voice startles a laugh out of Yerim, and a staff member follows them to film their peekaboo game with Chaewon’s prop of flowers. Hour by hour, the space in between them lessens. Yerim considers each smile and giggle a small victory.

 

But when she spots Haseul setting a brisk pace towards Hyejoo with a camcorder in hand, Yerim puts her ‘befriend Chaewon’ quest of the day on hold to scamper after their leader. Second-hand nerves spark to life when she sees Hyejoo straighten her posture instinctively at the sight of them.

 

Throughout the shooting, Hyejoo had been tailing after each member with a puppy-dog earnestness and diligence. She seemed to be analyzing the exact curve of their smile and memorizing their exact tone of pitch while in front of the camera.

 

Yerim found it endearing how diligent Hyejoo was, but then Hyejoo asked her if she should have taken notes while watching Loona TV, and the endearment shot straight into genuine concern for their newest member.

 

“We’re going to film your intro, Hyejoo,” Haseul explains once they get to her. “Don’t worry about not knowing what to say, we’ll guide you through.”

 

Hyejoo nods once, resolute. If Yerim didn’t know Hyejoo better, she’d mistake the younger girl’s calm exterior as a reflection of her composure. But the way her posture is rimrod straight, eyes set with a determination, speaks for her nerves.

 

“Hello, I’m Son Hyejoo, the 12th member of Loona.”

 

Yerim claps her hands, excitement making her grin spread wide, “My friend!”

 

She s out an arm for Hyejoo to shake. It takes a second, but Hyejoo hesitatingly takes her hand. Yerim considers it a good idea when Hyejoo’s shoulders relax by a margin.

 

“Choerry, show us your winking!”

 

Though she’s suddenly keenly aware of Hyejoo’s eyes on her, her cheeks bunching up as she smiles and winks still comes as natural as breathing. The other girls make an assortment of overblown noises with Haseul talking over them to relay to Hyejoo the same question.

 

“Hyejoo, would you do that for us?”

 

Yerim’s heart melts at Hyejoo’s determined attempts, eyes fluttering against her will.

 

“I’m not good at winking, but I will practice.” She blinks another two times into the camera.

 

“Hey, don’t be serious,” Haseul says. “That’s exactly not what Loona TV wants.”

 

Yerim’s heart melts for a different reason when Hyejoo deflates at the slight criticism.

 

“Loud sound is the best for Loona TV!” Then Jinsol and Haseul break off to make loud noises into the camera and at each other.

 

“No, don’t do that,” Yerim tries to reign back in the situation. By the time they have Hyejoo posing as a blackbird, Hyejoo seems more like herself...until her expression falters straight into embarrassment at the chorus of ‘ooh’s’.

 

Yerim wrings her hot pack in between her hands, stunned at Hyejoo’s shyer outer shell. Hyejoo really is nervous; Yerim doesn’t think she’s ever seen the other girl so flustered before.

 

It’s really really cute when compared to her disposition at school.

 

The camera changes hands again, from Haseul to Jinsol.

 

“Yerim, why don’t you follow Jinsol?” Haseul suggests in a way that actually isn’t a suggestion. Yerim reluctantly nods, though glancing behind her to see Haseul kneel down slightly, hands holding onto Hyejoo’s. She nods earnestly along with whatever Haseul says.

 

“Yerim, Yerim! Come over here!” Jinsol’s voice calls. She distracts herself from Hyejoo’s earlier flush of embarrassment with chasing around Jungeun and Sooyoung, who were even more flirty than usual. Once Sooyoung starts treading on PG-13 territory, Yerim takes the chance to hop in front of the camera.

 

Moment done and over with, she ducks away from the love-birds and fast-walks back to Hyejoo. Wonders if the girl is disappointed at all with her first appearance.

 

Platitudes are already at the tip of her tongue, as she makes her way back to the other girl. That everyone started out awkward, that her seriousness was endearing, that...

 

Her steps slow to a stop a dozen feet away from Hyejoo, a single flower in her hand. Chaewon sits in the chair next to her, leaning into Hyejoo’s side to tell her something. Hyejoo’s smile lights up the studio, even from where Yerim stood.

 

Oh. Well. That situation is handled. She spins around her heels, recognizing a private moment when she saw one.

 

Something about Hyejoo’s fluster and smile is familiar in a way that Yerim couldn’t put her finger on, it’s the same with Chaewon’s expression, soft and bathed in orange stage lighting. She chews on the thought as she makes her way back to the dressing room.

 

One of the first thing she sees is Jiwoo squished in between Sooyoung and Jungeun, holding hands with both girls on either side of her. Sooyoung rubs the back of Jiwoo’s hand with her thumb, and Jungeun looks whipped for the both of them.

 

...Wait a minute.

 

Yerim stops in the middle of the room. Thinks back to Chaewon’s unusual keen attentiveness, and Hyejoo’s shy smile as she fiddled with the stem of the flower.

 

She blinks back to the present, Jungeun rolling her eyes at whatever nonsense Sooyoung must have said, Jiwoo using her middle position to make the girls on either side of her hold hands.

 

Her mind plays a fierce, ten second game of spot the difference between Chaewon and Hyejoo and the three in front of her. There are no differences.

 

“Oh,” she says dumbly, sudden realization going off like a firecracker.

 

Chaewon and Hyejoo liked each other.

 

Yerim deflates against the couch and stares up at the ceiling, the bubbles in her carbonated chest fizzling out like a warmed soda. Her heart is warm for her friend, but there’s an uncomfortable, sticky residue that feels a lot like loneliness.

 

 

It’s something that doesn’t make sense to Hyejoo, something that’s too much like a dream, but she sees it and she feels it. Everything had changed overnight.

 

She parts the bedroom curtains to the side with a hand and peers down at the small park across the street. The trees and shrubberies there don’t look as barren than when she last remembers it. The gnarled branches seem a lot less ugly and lonely with the sprouting of new leaves and the promise of flower buds to bloom by the coming weeks. Opening the window by a fraction, she sticks her other hand out and feels the air. It’s definitely warmer.

 

Hyejoo retrieves her hand, closes the window, and frowns. Spring couldn’t have come in just one night, right? The changing of a season is something that’s gradual. There’s a process and she should’ve seen it happen step by step, little by little, so she doesn’t understand why it feels like it had tiptoed in on her while she slept.

 

But the more she looks, the less she feels confused. Maybe it’s because she realizes how trivial the whole thing is or maybe it’s because of something else entirely, but pretty soon, her eyes are able to see past the pink, white, and yellow buds, peeking from the tops of the trees, and into the near future as she pictures how a certain girl would look like walking underneath those pastel foliages when they blossom in full. She imagines how the girl would look with her flowy blonde hair dancing in the breeze, alongside the sea of petals raining down like the most splendid backdrop, and Hyejoo’s heart is full. Her mind quickly becomes occupied by thoughts of how she should bring up the offer — a late afternoon stroll, exclusive to just them, to her — without seeming too obvious and eager, without giving too much of herself away.

 

Her head buzzes with thoughts but her feet need no telling to take the short walk to where the very girl lies. On the bunk adjacent from hers, Chaewon sleeps with her cheek pressed on one arm as another holds a duck plushie tightly to her chest. Like any other morning, Hyejoo frames the sight. The urge to reach out to her comes and she doesn’t fight it. Her hand comes up and softly brushes away strands of baby hair falling messily on the older girl’s forehead, just over her closed eyes.

 

Knowing her, she will most likely sleep until past noon today. And Hyejoo wouldn’t have it any other way. Chaewon is, after all, the happiest when she sleeps. Besides, she could use the rest since, she, with Jiwoo and Sooyoung, had been up until 4AM the prior night (this morning) for the release of her teaser photo, as in Olivia Hye’s teaser photo.

 

A contented sigh escapes her as she recalls how surreal that exact moment felt. As soon as her photo was uploaded, most of the members burst in their room to wake her and congratulate her, each in their own sweet and unique, albeit groggy, way (Yeojin was still in deep sleep that time and Haseul and Heejin had voted against waking her, so Hyunjin took it upon herself to deliver the note that their youngest had written for Hyejoo in advance).

 

There was Jiwoo’s affectionate pouncing on her back for a tight hug and Jinsol’s squishing of her cheeks and talking to her in her sickeningly baby voice which were quite different but the same in thought to Sooyoung, Jungeun, and Ara’s proud looks and firm pats on her head. There was also Yerim’s non-stop chanting of ooh, a celebrity that flustered her for several reasons (some of which she won’t admit aloud) which was followed by Chaewon’s grabbing of her hand and giving it an assuring squeeze that instantly calmed her down.

 

Now that she thinks about it, maybe that’s the reason why everything seems to have become so different overnight. She’s really debuting as the 12th member of Loona and she’s so lucky to be in this team with all these amazing people.

 

The bed shakes with slight tremors as Sooyoung, the occupant of the lower bunk, stirs. Hyejoo is quick to take that reflexive step back, the hand that was hovering close to Chaewon’s face now pulled away and safely placed behind her back, but their unit leader only gives her a soft smile and a knowing look and then turns to face the wall, resuming her slumber.

 

Hyejoo takes a deep breath and she remembers. Right. She’s supposed to be getting ready for school. And getting ready for school includes having to wake Yerim.

 

Before she could even move, however, the bedroom door swings open and the girl marches right in.

 

“Hah! I woke up before you could wake me!” Yerim exclaims, smugly a finger gun in her direction.

 

It takes her a second to push the familiar flutters in her stomach to the side so she could gather her wits. And really, she wants so much to laugh at the spontaneity, but all she could muster is a helpless smile.

 

“Yerim... the unnies are still sleeping. Try not to be... so loud?” She mutters.

 

Yerim ignores her and draws her finger gun back, places it under her chin and replies, smile remaining undeterred as she does. “Go wash up, you celebrity! We have plans for today! Big plans!”

 

“You know,” Hyejoo starts, and shakes her head lightly. “Even manager unnie doesn’t talk like that.”

 

But she’s having trouble keeping her own smile to the minimum and it shows.

 

“Well, you’re in luck then!” Yerim’s grin widens while her eyes light up at her struggle. “I’m gonna get ready now, so you be done in twenty! We have to be in school earlier today!”

 

As if that’s not enough, she winks at her as she exits.

 

The resulting pounding in Hyejoo’s chest is too much and she has to hold on to the bedframe. She steadies her breathing and looks at Chaewon. Seeing the peaceful look on her face puts her at ease almost at once. The girl really does the most to her even in her sleep, she realizes.

 

She finds herself shaking her head again, harder this time. It won’t do her any good dwelling on thoughts reserved for 2AM, so she better stop. With that, Hyejoo looks at Chaewon one last time, as a goodbye, and sets off to prepare for her long school day.

 

The morning routine turns into something light and fun for her, like more than it typically is, even with the unusually sentimental start. Yerim is clearly swept up in spring fever, photosynthesizing like crazy in the early hours. It’s rare for her to be this energetic in the mornings (because contrary to popular belief, Choi Yerim has a down time), but Hyejoo can tell that she’s acting this way because she’s excited about something.

 

She prances all over the dorm in a frenzy, shamelessly eating Jinsol’s cereal for breakfast and circling a half-embarrassed, half-amused Jungeun, who’s the only non-school attending member awake to witness the behavior.

 

Hyejoo tries not to think about what could be the cause of Yerim’s elation as they walk to the bus stop and as they wait for their ride, but it’s hard not to. It’s alright though, because she doesn’t have to wait long. As soon as they have boarded and settled comfortably in their favorite spots, Yerim decides to let her in on what it is.

 

“My friends’ group chat blew up!” She shows her a blinding smile and an obnoxiously sticker-filled kakao chat open on her phone. “They were shocked to find out that you’re the last member.”

 

Hyejoo blinks, not expecting it to be that. Still, not wanting to pass up the chance to humor her friend, she smirks.

 

“Oh, really?” She asks as nonchalant as she can, laying the baseline for her front.

 

“Mhmm! We had them fooled for like a whole semester.” Yerim nods enthusiastically. Hyejoo’s ready to go along with the joke, but what she says next has all of it crashing down. “I’ve waited for this! I can finally show you off!”

 

Yerim stops and blinks at what Hyejoo can only imagine to be a flabbergasted look on her face.

 

“Are you not excited? There’d be no more hiding or pretending.” She continues, just a tad bit calmer, but it disappears quickly. “And just picture the look on their faces when they see us walking in together!”

 

But Hyejoo’s still caught up on something she had said prior and it’s getting harder for her to keep a straight face and her feelings under control.

 

“Did you really just say show me off?” She bites back a smile and leans against the window next to her for support.

 

“Yeah!” Yerim’s hand shoots up in the air in agreement. She holds Hyejoo’s gaze for a bit and then inclines her head to the side. “Is there a problem with that?”

 

Hyejoo looks back at her while she asks herself the same thing. Is there a problem with that? The silence drags on as she ponders.

 

“Hey, Son Hyejoo!” Yerim screams into her ear and when she pulls back, pouts at her and simultaneously pokes her on the side. “Don’t space out while I’m talking to you.”

 

Hyejoo just purses her lips and shrugs.

 

“I’m being serious though! I mean, I don’t see why you shouldn’t.” Yerim looks down on her hands and starts fiddling with her fingers. “Come with me to meet my friends before homeroom. Then, we can all sit together during lunch. You could bring your friends too. You know, if you wanna.”

 

“The more, the merrier, right?” Yerim looks at her expectantly and she doesn’t have it in her to argue.

 

Even though she has reservations about the whole thing, she eventually nods. They’re just friends hanging out in school. Yerim doesn’t have to know about how her heart had skipped beats when she said she wanted to show her off. They’re just friends and that’s it.

 

When they reach their stop and get to march up the school gates together for the first time, Hyejoo lets herself be dragged by the hand. Maybe it’s because they’re literally holding hands, but she’s only mildly aware, and couldn’t care any less, about how the students they pass by in the halls stare and point at them. It’s either that, or she’s just far too spellbound to be seeing anything other than Yerim’s face as it shines brighter than the sun.

 

&&

 

Yerim lets out a loud and ringing laugh that contrasts Chaewon’s breathy and mostly silent one. Hyejoo reclines against the couch, looking over the two girls sitting by her feet while their heads and shoulders bump against each other’s in an attempt to distract one another.

 

“You at this, Yerim. You really do.” Chaewon mumbles, aggressively pressing the shoulder buttons of the console while avoiding Yerim’s use of dirty tactics with yet another shoulder tackle.

 

“I don’t! Hyejoo’s DS is just whacked!” Yerim exclaims in her defense. “The controls are all screwed!”

 

“Hey! Don’t you dare blame your incompetence on me, Choi Yerim.” Hyejoo warns, makes sure her friend sees her bite down on her lip and frown when she throws a glance her way. “We all know you’re a noob.”

 

Yerim laughs again. Hyejoo wants to relish in the sound but it, unfortunately, gets cut off by a cough from behind them. They all turn their heads slowly to find a stern Haseul leaning against the doorframe of the big room. With her arms crossed over her chest, she gives them a pointed look. So without having to check with each other, they know very well what’s coming to them.

 

“Girls…” Haseul starts.

 

“Haseul unnie! We’re sorry!” Yerim quickly says, raising one hand and smiling apologetically.

 

Haseul sighs and rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “I’m not going to put a stop to your fun… But the others are sleeping. Maybe you could be a bit more quiet?” She asks.

 

“We’ll do our best, unnie.” Hyejoo adds.

 

“Sorry.” Chaewon mutters sheepishly and Haseul comes closer so she could reach out and shuffle her hair.

 

“It’s all good. I know you’re staying up so you won’t have trouble sleeping on your flight later.” Haseul says to Hyejoo and Chaewon. She pauses then turns to Yerim. “Except for you, Yerim. I have no idea why you’re still up.”

 

Yerim’s eyes dart in her and Chaewon’s direction before she turns back to Haseul to throw her an awkward smile and a shrug.

 

Their leader sighs again.

 

“Speaking of,” She turns her attention to the people loitering in the kitchen, bustling around and whipping up midnight snacks, and addresses the one she spots by the kitchen counter.

 

“Isn’t it way past your bedtime, huh, Jungeun?”

 

Jungeun looks up from the rice cake dough she’s kneading and turns to Haseul. She gives her an innocent look and then, as if on cue, Jiwoo materializes from somewhere and skips to Jungeun’s side. Her arms snake around her waist and hold her from behind as she rests her noticeably flour-smeared face on her shoulder. Sooyoung throws Haseul a fairly measured look and promptly steps away from the microwave to sidle up to Jungeun’s other side. And as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, she wraps her arms around both of the ‘99 line kids, putting all three of them in a big hug.

 

Haseul lets out a laugh but it’s mirthless and it sounds a bit like she’s laughing at her own silliness.

 

“Right… well, forget I asked. Just try not to make too much noise and clean up after yourselves, alright? And I mean all of you.”

 

“Okay, mom! Good night!” Jiwoo calls.

 

“Don’t call me mom and make it weird.” Haseul calls back as she retreats into the big room.

 

Silence falls with their leader’s going and Chaewon clears to get their attention (Hyejoo may or may not have been watching in earnest interest as Jungeun is showered affection by both Jiwoo and Sooyoung).

 

“Where were we?” She asks.

 

“Naww, I lost!” Yerim exclaims. “I demand a rematch.”

 

“Are you sure you want another? Because you know, even Toad, who’s a bot, by the way, scored higher than you.” Chaewon points out.

 

Yerim closes the lid of the console and s it in Hyejoo’s waiting hand. Hyejoo recognizes the look in Yerim’s eyes before Chaewon could, but the warning dies in her tongue because she’s already made her lunge, fingers dancing up and down Chaewon’s sides, trying to find the most ticklish spot that will have her begging for mercy.

 

Everything happens way too fast but not for Hyejoo as she zooms in on all the details of this scene that’s straight out of a romance web-drama — Chaewon’s hands and feet are everywhere in the air, trying to fend off the attacker and all the while calling for her. Yerim puts her face a bit too close to Chaewon’s flailing arms and she gets a fist to the jaw.

 

“OW!”

 

A second of silence and then Chaewon shoots off.

 

“Oh my god, Yerim! I’m sorry.” She draws closer to the younger girl, taking her face in her hands to see where she had hit her.

 

“I told you to stop and you didn’t.” She adds, hitting her on the shoulder once.

 

Yerim chuckles lightly and flashes her a wide grin. “It’s fine! It doesn’t even hurt, Chaewon unnie. It just caught me by surprise is all.”

 

Chaewon sighs in relief but doesn’t take her hands away from Yerim’s face. She proceeds to pat her cheeks softly and it’s so easy to see how her eyes twinkle with so much affection when she does.

 

Something snaps inside of Hyejoo, like the last thread on a cut rope that’s responsible for holding up those thick red curtains in a theater. And just like that, she’s finally able to see what she hadn’t before — the distinct fondness Yerim has for Chaewon which clearly goes reciprocated.

 

And while there’s a tinge of worry for herself being left out that hovered over her, there’s a bigger, brighter, and promising feeling concerning all three of them that takes a hold of her. It seeps in her consciousness and makes her feel as though she can fly. But it goes as quickly as it had come, bringing her crashing back to the ground.

 

It’s far too selfish, far too ambitious even for her, she admits.

 

“And you, traitor, why didn’t you help me?” Chaewon suddenly turns to her and narrows her eyes at her.

 

Words fail Hyejoo so she just shrugs.

 

“It seemed like something I shouldn’t get involved with, you know.” She mumbles after a rather long pause.

 

Chaewon frowns and dramatically sighs. “Of course, you should get involved. It’s me. We have a soulmate pact, Hye!”

 

For some reason, Hyejoo catches herself side-eyeing Yerim to check for the girl’s response, but her friend only wiggles her eyebrows at her when their gazes meet.

 

“Are you kids fighting over there?” Jungeun asks.

 

“Um, nope. We’re not.” Yerim quickly replies and winks at Chaewon, which earns her another hit on the shoulder.

 

“Well, the mochi’s done.” Sooyoung says. “Come get some before Jiwoo finishes all of it.”

 

Yerim scrambles to her feet fast and runs to the kitchen while Chaewon lags, holding out a hand for Hyejoo to take.

 

“C’mon. Let’s get some mochi in you, you big baby.”

 

She pouts at her and the older girl laughs.

 

&&

 

The first day of shooting for their unit’s album jacket photos went pretty swell in spite of the tiredness that drags her body down (jet lag, the staff called it and kept complaining about it). Truthfully, Hyejoo doesn’t know much about the phenomenon since it’s her first time being overseas. Sooyoung did try to be the textbook that she is and explained the whole thing to her, but her words had gone in one ear and went out in the other. She’d apologize to the older girl but she knows Sooyoung doesn’t mind one bit. She’s busy basking in the scenery with her Jiwoo, after all. And perhaps that basking is not exclusive to the two of them.

 

Honestly speaking, Hyejoo thinks Budapest has all of them, including her and Chaewon, in some sort of daze where every little thing they see amazes them and that’s all they could really care about (outside of doing their work, of course).

 

While last night had been a trip to the past where they walked on cobblestone streets and passed by gothic buildings as if they were in the 19th century, today is a stroll into the Garden of Eden itself. Everywhere Hyejoo looks, she sees blankets of green in varying shades, sprinkled with powder white, and dusted with hues of yellow. Tall hedges and lush trees towered all around, protectively enclosing the meadow that’s so beautifully populated with flora. The sunlight playfully peeks through the canopy of the trees to cap off the perfect landscape.

 

This is where the photographers had chosen to get most of the shots today. Group photos were first to be taken, closely followed by Hyejoo’s individual ones. She’s gotten used to the camera now and finished pretty quickly. With nothing to do until the rest finish with their turn, she finds herself standing on one side of the meadow, behind Jiwoo and Sooyoung.

 

The former squats on the ground, blowing on what seems to be her two-hundredth dandelion puff of the hour, while the latter holds onto her free hand, watching her with a look of contentment on her face.

 

“You’re deforesting the area of dandelions, Jiwoo unnie.” Hyejoo mumbles before she could stop herself.

 

Sooyoung spares her a looks and chuckles at her honest remark.

 

Jiwoo seems to have heard her but doesn’t say anything, only smiling widely and watching the seeds as they are carried higher into the air by the passing breeze. She nods in satisfaction first, then turns to Hyejoo.

 

“I had to blow at least one for every member we have! Now, my thoughts are going to get carried away to Seoul and Jungeun and everyone will know that I’m thinking of them.”

 

Hyejoo frowns. “I’m sorry, what?”

 

“Blowing on a dandelion can mean a lot of things. That’s just one of it.” Sooyoung says.

 

There’s a longing look in her eyes and Hyejoo thinks she understands. With her Interest piqued, she plucks one of the said flowers off the ground. She holds it by the stem and twirls it over in her hands as she thinks.

 

She hears Sooyoung laugh again. “Don’t overthink it, kid.”

 

“I’m not.” Hyejoo mutters.

 

Sooyoung rolls her eyes at her and Jiwoo skips up to her, holding out a finger.

 

“Just think of the person you’re missing and what you want them to know as you blow on the puff!” The girl says like she’s teaching her a very important lesson.

 

Hyejoo continues to stare at the flower for little longer. All the while, Jiwoo nods at her in encouragement. From the corner of her eye, she notices Sooyoung let go of Jiwoo’s hand to meet Chaewon as she returns from taking her individual photos.

 

“Sooyoung unnie, you’re up next.” Chaewon says, soft but recognizably excited with how she waves her hands in front of her.

 

“Cool.” Sooyoung says in affirmation. “Jiwoo, I’m going.”

 

“Alright! I’ll catch up with you in a bit to watch you.” Jiwoo replies.

 

“You don’t have to. You can stay and play with them.”

 

“But I want to.” Jiwoo says with a frown.

 

Sooyoung gives her the heart eyes and, at that point, Hyejoo decides to look away, turning her attention back to the dandelion in her hand. If they weren’t in such a public place, she’s sure they’d have their lips all over each other’s now.

 

Anyway, Hyejoo remembers that Jiwoo wasn’t the only one blowing on these things. Chaewon tried a handful earlier, too. Some even landed on her while the stylist was fixing her makeup (she’s quite sure that moment was caught on camera).

 

So now, she can’t help but think of whom Chaewon was sending out her thoughts to then. Was she, like Jiwoo, hoping that it would be carried away to Seoul? And what exact thoughts did she want Yerim to hear?

 

Thinking that she wants Yerim to know that she misses her too, Hyejoo parts her lips, takes air in, and unnie huffs it back out over the flower. However, the seeds remain pretty much intact save for some really few ones that disperse in the air.

 

“Huh?” Hyejoo mutters, baffled.

 

“Oh, that’s a tough one.” Jiwoo gives her a sad smile and pats her shoulder. “You can always try again though.”

 

She stares back at the older girl with a dubious look but follows the suggestion. Still, the flower remains unbothered and she groans. Chaewon chuckles next to her, giving her cheek.

 

“There’s plenty more dandelions!” Jiwoo pumps a fist and grins at her. “Keep trying. I’m gonna go to Sooyoung unnie now.”

 

The older girl runs off and leaves her in the company of Chaewon and only Chaewon. Hyejoo studies her as she bends down and plucks out a couple of flowers by her feet. She straightens up immediately and hands one to her.

 

“Maybe this one won’t be too difficult.” Chaewon says, promptly blowing on the one she’s holding.

 

The seeds scatter and head off east, dancing against the backdrop of the cloudless blue sky.

 

“What are you going to wish for?” Chaewon suddenly asks.

 

Hyejoo gives her a questioning look when she meets her gaze.

 

“For when you blow on it.” The girl elaborates.

 

Chaewon’s eyes dart on the dandelion, up to Hyejoo’s face, then back again.

 

“I have to make a wish?” She asks.

 

The girl nods, smiles a little at her.

 

“I did not know that. Jiwoo unnie just said my thoughts could be carried to somewhere if I blow on these.” It comes out a lot softer than she had intended because her heart’s starting to do backflips over that look. “She was puffing out tons of it earlier, you know. And she said something about letting Jungeun unnie know she’s thinking about her.”

 

“Ahh,” Chaewon mutters, visibly perking up. “Yeah, well, there’s that and a handful of other things too. One of it is blowing on it to make a wish.”

 

Hyejoo looks at Chaewon even more attentively as she takes the flower from her, their hands brushing and the contact sending sparks up her arm.

 

“They say so because younger dandelions, being round and gold in color, symbolize the sun. But when they mature and become white puffs like this, it looks like the moon. And when the seeds scatter, they become like stars.”

 

With each word Chaewon utters, Hyejoo’s heart inches closer and closer to detonation. She thinks that she’s never met another person as beautiful as her.

 

“Wanna hear something even more interesting?” Chaewon ask and she nods without thinking.

 

“They also say that if you blow on a dandelion in one go and all the seeds come off, that means the person you like, likes you back. With no reservations, whatsoever.”

 

Chaewon takes a deep breath and blows out the puffs, making it scatter in front of Hyejoo for a moment. It all gets carried by the wind to who knows where in the next. When she looks back down at the stalk in Chaewon’s hand, she finds that not even a single seed remained.

 

“Huh? Look at that. That’s good for you.” She comments, offers her a grin.

 

“So do you?” Chaewon asks without missing a beat.

 

Her demeanor became ten times shier than she already was and Hyejoo is confused.

 

“Do I what?” She asks.

 

“Like me back?” The older girl replies, daring to look her in the eye.

 

Hyejoo blinks, her body malfunctioning as her heart, mind, and soul have gone far into the moon. Is this is even real? Is she really not dreaming?

 

The leaves rustle with the wind. The birds chirp from somewhere deeper in the forest surrounding them. The earth turns on its axis. Hyejoo becomes aware of every little thing as the moment drags on. She realizes that Chaewon is still looking at her expectantly but she has no idea what to say.

 

“Was that folklore total nonsense? Why aren’t you saying anything?” Chaewon mumbles and pouts at her.

 

The courage is fleeting and small that she hardly sees it when it passes by, but she catches it as if she were grasping floating dandelion puffs.

 

“I… Yeah, I do. I, I like you too, Chaewon unnie.”

 

Chaewon breathes out a sigh of relief and Hyejoo smiles sheepishly.

 

“You had me worried for like five whole minutes!” Chaewon’s complaint is accompanied with a hit to her shoulder.

 

Hyejoo looks away shyly as she carefully rubs the spot Chaewon’s tiny fist came into contact with. It hurts just a little (proof that she must’ve really scared her), but it’s alright because it grounds her. It makes her certain that this really is happening.

 

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that.” Hyejoo says, her courage growing bigger. “And I like you, Chaewon unnie. I really do...”

 

And as expected, Chaewon sees right through it. “There’s a but, isn’t there?”

 

“I just thought for sure that you liked Yerim.” Hyejoo admits, shrugs. “At least, more than you could ever like me.”

 

Chaewon looks intently at her again. And as those mesmerizing doe eyes bore into hers, she becomes nervous.

 

“Don’t you feel the same for her too?” Chaewon asks so casually as if she were asking about the weather.

 

“What?” Hyejoo blurts.

 

“You like Yerim too.” She says with more conviction. “Am I wrong?”

 

Hyejoo swallows. She thought she had been a little more covert than this. But then again, this is Chaewon, her Chaewon, and she knows her, maybe more than she even knows herself. She finds no point in denying or even explaining.

 

“No…”

 

Chaewon’s smile widens and her eyes twinkle with so much joy and thrill that she has to look away from her. It gets Hyejoo thinking.

 

“But.. are you saying… when you said I like Yerim too…” She clears , dislodges the words getting stuck in there. “Was I right in assuming that you do like her?”

 

Chaewon nods slowly but with confidence. “But not more than I like you or whatever. I just know I like you both, at the same time.”

 

She plays with her fingers for a bit as she looks longingly at Hyejoo. Hyejoo translates the signal and she takes her hand in hers.

 

“I know it’s selfish but… I hope you aren’t uncomfortable with that.” Chaewon breathes, hands squeezing Hyejoo’s.

 

“I’m not.” She answers. She’s unable to keep her smile from getting too big. “Would you believe me if I say that I’ve never felt this happy?”

 

Chaewon mirrors her smile and intertwines their fingers.

 

“I heard from manager unnie that we’d be given free time later, after the shoot. Do you wanna get something to eat then? You know, just us two.”

 

When Hyejoo says yes, every bit of her being agrees with her.

 

 

With each moment that passes, Jinsol’s sniffles become quieter and less frequent. Yerim sees that her eyes are still kind of wet and red around the corners but she’s considerably calm now.

 

It just came out of nowhere when the older girl burst into tears in the middle of dance practice and at a very weird moment, too (her part during the first chorus of Girl Front). She and Jungeun were both too shocked that they simply didn’t know what to do. Luckily, Haseul was in the vocal practice room down the hall and she knew exactly what to do.

 

In between Jinsol’s wailing and incoherent mumbling, it took a while to unearth the reason behind her tears. But with the help of a whole lot of cuddling and several servings of frozen melon bars, she and Jungeun finally got her to talk properly.

 

“It’s been three days since they left and I miss them so much.” Jinsol had said, eyebrows on full expressive mode.

 

Jungeun didn’t even comment on the eyebrow thing and just rubbed circles on her back.

 

“Aww, Jindolie.” Haseul had cooed. “We do, too. And I’m sure they miss you like you miss them!”

 

“They’re going home soon, unnie. Filming’s about to end and they’ll be back with us before we know it.” Jungeun chimed in.

 

“Yeah, that’s right. You don’t have to be sad about not having your babies close to you. In the meantime, you can just call Jungeun your baby. I’m sure she won’t mind.” Haseul jested.

 

Jungeun had rolled her eyes at that but didn’t say anything which practically settled the matter.

 

However, almost an hour passed since that conversation and the four of them were still seated on the curb in front of the convenience store, in the wee hours of the morning, absorbed in their own musings.

 

Yerim looks at Jinsol once more and thinks that, yes, she’s definitely calmed down now.

 

She’s never given it much thought before but Jinsol proves to be one of the softest among her unnies, despite the tough impression she gives off. But, really, it isn’t even difficult for her to picture how the older feels over the YYXY kids being far from the rest of them. After being basically around each other 24/7, not seeing them suddenly like this, even though it’s just for a few days, is painful.

 

Yerim knows so because it’s impossible not to feel it. Like when she opens her eyes in the morning and it isn’t Hyejoo who wakes her. Or when she comes back from school, alone, and she doesn’t find Chaewon lounging on the couch, playing games or watching puppy videos. Of course, she still has Yeojin and the unnies to keep her company, so she can’t say that she’s sad to the point of crying, but she also can’t deny that their absence resonates inside of her like one of those emo-rock songs Jinsol likes to listen to when she isn’t blasting Red Velvet’s discography.

 

It gets her to wonder. If she feels incomplete without them like this, then how does Jungeun feel? Her two girlfriends are out of her reach for the first time since, maybe, forever. She turns to the older girl and finds that she’s already looking at her.

 

But before either of them could speak, Haseul command their attention by jumping to her feet.

 

“Manager unnie’s looking for us. We should head back.” Their leader says.

 

Jinsol looks up at Haseul with puppy dog eyes and the girl offers both of her hands to help her same aged friend up. Jungeun pats Yerim on the back and pushes herself up to stand. She follows her and steps up to her side, allowing Jinsol and Haseul to walk ahead of them.

 

“Hey, Jungeun unnie? Can I ask you something?” Yerim’s voice comes out almost as a whisper.

 

“It depends on what it is you’re gonna be asking.” Jungeun replies, narrowing her eyes at her.

 

“Oh, no. It’s not what you’re thinking… I’m just curious.”

 

“About?”

 

Feeling her cheeks heat up, Yerim looks away from her.

 

“I don’t wanna be nosy or anything but… how do you feel about this whole thing? With Jiwoo unnie and Sooyoung being half-way across the world from you at the moment?”

 

“You sound like a cheesy, well-mannered Dispatch reporter.” Jungeun chuckles, shakes her head.

 

Yerim pouts at her so she throws an arm over her shoulder and pulls her close.

 

“I’m just kidding. But honestly? It feels... ty. Not being able to hold their hand or cuddle with them or kiss them .” Jungeun’s face takes on a more serious look. “And really, I’m barely keeping it in. I miss them so, so much.”

 

“Don’t ever tell anyone that I said this but I feel like they’ve taken my heart with them to Hungary.” Jungeun clears after a moment of silence. “Anyway, I think you understand how it is. I’m sure you miss Hyejoo and Chaewon too.”

 

“What?”

 

“You don’t?”

 

“N-no! I mean, of course, I miss them.” Yerim stammers. “But it’s just the way you said it, unnie… it’s like you were insinuating something. You know it isn’t the same case with you and Jiwoo unnie and Sooyoung unnie, right?”

 

Jungeun looks at her for a long time. They reach the steps leading to the company building when she decides to speak again.

 

“Is it really not though? Like at all?”

 

Yerim realizes that she could say yes just to speak for herself but she chooses not to. But even then, she knows that Jungeun understands.

 

 

It’s hardly the first time Chaewon finds herself standing outside of Sooyoung’s door in the midnight hours, their roommate status aside. When her heart was tugging in two seperate directions, it was only natural to talk to Sooyoung, boasting as the self-titled “lady-killer” of the dorm. (That is, until Jungeun threatened to break up with her over the nickname.)

 

Despite the leader’s admittance to her inexperience with relationships, she always had a wealth of advice to sooth Chaewon’s perplexing emotions, helping her pluck out her romantic emotions for the girls from the platonic.

 

But this time she isn’t alone. Hyejoo is at her side, squeezing her hand reassuringly. They’ve only officially been together for a couple of days, eating lunch together or enjoying the precious moments of spare time in between filming.

 

Yerim still hovers at the forefront of their minds; Chaewon finds her in every purple petal or flower they come across. Hyejoo voices Chaewon’s thoughts out loud, wishing that Yerim was here to enjoy the same sites that they were, wandering around in blooming spring or in grand hallways, decorated with paintings larger than life.

 

With the absolute certainty that Hyejoo also felt the same way, and with the mutual understanding of each other’s feelings for Yerim, Chaewon found no more reason to delay telling their other two members of the new relationship, or to delay asking for advice about Yerim.

 

She finds her resolve and knocks only once, startling backwards when the door swings open and nearly slams into the wall, Jiwoo beaming sunshine at the entrance.

 

“Hello!” Jiwoo is horribly excited (and loud?) at nearly midnight, taking them each by the arm and dragging them into the room. Chaewon and Hyejoo are ushered onto the silk bed, Jiwoo bounding off to a different corner even before they’re seated.

 

Sooyoung sits in one of the armchairs, dramatic as ever, sipping from a drink that coils vapor around her face, her smirk hidden by the rim of the mug, posturing like a forgettable monster-of-the-week villain. Chaewon exchanges glances with Hyejoo, somewhat glad to see that she isn’t the only one as confused and bewildered with the new direction of things.

 

“So you have to tell us how it happened! Who asked first and was it romantic and whether the fresh springtime of Budapest made you confess—” Jiwoo fumbles with the kettle in the back, the high-pitched keening the discordant harmony to her words. Hyejoo looks even more lost as the older girl keeps going.

 

“Wait, what?” Chaewon blurts out. “You knew all along?”

 

Jiwoo cuts herself short. The kettle is the only thing they can hear in the back. She stops struggling with her hot chocolate package.

 

“You… didn’t know we knew?” Sooyoung carefully brings down her cup.

 

“No? We were about to tell you now...” Hyejoo trails off, looking more and more uncertain.

 

The kettle shuts off. Jiwoo’s nervous laughter bubbles to the surface, but it stops awkwardly. “We were about to celebrate you guys getting together now. I was going to head to your room but you guys came here early.”

 

“But how did you know?” Chaewon wriggles their joined hands in the air for emphasis. “We didn’t do anything that was different!”

 

“Please. You were hardly inconspicuous about it,” Sooyoung murmurs, crossing her legs. “Well, this is awkward. Do you want to step outside and try again? We can act surprised and then celebrate.”

 

“No, unnie. It’s okay.” Hyejoo sounds pained, like someone er-punched her in the stomach. Jiwoo hands her a mug of hot chocolate to sooth the pain in rich processed goodness.

 

“We also wanted to ask you for advice about Yerim,” Chaewon continues slowly, like crawling through sludge, mind still lagging to process the new turn of events. She accepts her own warm mug, marshmallows stacked high and almost spilling out, watching Jiwoo settle herself next to Sooyoung.

 

“How do we invite her… to date us?” Chaewon’s statement comes out sounding more like a question.

 

Jiwoo squeals, using one free hand to shake at Sooyoung’s shoulder in excitement.

 

“Date you?” Their leader echoes as she tries to keep her mug from spilling over from Jiwoo’s excitement. “You’re already thinking about another girl? My, aren’t you two the little go-getters.” She wheezes when Jiwoo’s wrist flicks out fast as lightning, the back of her hand embedding itself into Sooyoung’s abdomen. She shoots Sooyoung a dirty look.

 

“Sooyoung, don’t be rude. I think they’re super cute.”

 

The other two start bickering. Hyejoo takes small sips from her mug, watching the teasing argument unfold, exerting the same amount of interest as she would when watching paint dry. Chaewon groans softly, heat prickling up to her ears; they really did flirt everywhere they went. It makes Hyejoo laugh softly, low but melodic, and they finally recapture the older two’s attention.

 

“Honestly, there’s not much advice I could give you,” Sooyoung admits, lacing Jiwoo’s hand in hers to protect herself from another attack. “The three of us just kind of happened.”

 

“You two were dating first before you started dating Jungeun, right?” Chaewon asks, wincing when she burns her tongue on the drink. “How did that happen?”

 

“It helped that I knew Jungeun for a long time before I met Sooyoung, and that I always had something for her,” Jiwoo tilts her head thoughtfully. “I guess Sooyoung and I just asked her if she liked us too, and she said yes.”

 

Hyejoo shifts on the bed. “That’s a lot simpler than we were expecting.”

 

Jiwoo quirks a smile. “No reason to overcomplicate things, right?”

 

“What exactly were you two expecting?” Sooyoung asks.

 

Chaewon doesn’t know. But when she thinks about Yerim taking both her hand and Hyejoo’s her heart surges, pink and fuzzy, excited and nervous all at once. She might have conflated the size of the problem with her exuberant emotions when the solution was actually simple: just let Yerim know they liked her.

 

“Tell Yerim we like her, debut together, and live happily ever after for the rest of our lives.” Chaewon nods seriously. “I got it.”

 

Sooyoung snorts loudly, then chokes on her hot chocolate. “Yes, absolutely. Just… don’t overwhelm her. I think you both know Yerim might not be in tune with her emotions yet.”

 

Chaewon frowns, emotions wilting slightly. Yerim is a tinge more complex. Chaewon had some inkling that Hyejoo’s emotions towards her were reciprocal; though it is the same with Yerim, it’s obvious that the bundle of sunshine might not be aware of it herself.

 

Hyejoo leans her head against Chaewon’s shoulder, a movement so affectionate and so surprising that it clears Chaewon of her worries entirely.

 

“We’ll figure something out,” Hyejoo says, determined. “We just have to help Yerim realize her feelings.”

 

“I believe in you two.” Sooyoung huffs a laugh, though it pitters off into a sigh. “Haseul is going to have a field day.”

 

Jiwoo pulls a face. “We’ll deal with that later. But for now!” She moves away from Sooyoung, rummaging under the bed with loud, crinkling bag sounds. “We also have snacks we bought to celebrate~! Don’t tell the managers.”

 

Hyejoo scrambles up, eyes practically shining with the promise of illegal, midnight snacking, and squeezes Chaewon’s hand still in hers.

 

Chaewon feels her heart swell, drumming up steady love inside her chest. She can’t believe how lucky she is.

 

“Oh, and congratulations girls,” Sooyoung says, eyes melting soft. Chaewon squeezes Hyejoo’s hand back, grounding her to the moment. She takes a sip of the now cool chocolate, but heat still fills her all the way down to her toes with Hyejoo grinning bright at her side.

 

She’s so warm.

 

&&

 

When the latest subunit first got back to Korea, it seems like the entire dorm senses something different in between the two youngest members, seeing Hyejoo and Chaewon walk in holding hands.

 

“I knew it!” Yeojin crows, hollering and fist pumping and pointing repeatedly at Chaewon and Hyejoo, jumping from one foot to another. “Hyunjin, you owe me ramen!” Hyunjin mutters something under her breath from where she’s sprawled on the couch.

 

Jiwoo runs over and all but tackles Jungeun, both of them falling into giggling, face-squishing, boneless heaps on the ground. Jinsol wails, collapsing on top of them both, sobbing into Jiwoo’s sweatshirt and keeping the trio down. Sooyoung takes a suspicious Haseul by the arm and ushers her into an empty room, helping break the news about the newest couple.

 

(Sooyoung had mentioned that her, Jiwoo, and Jungeun had gotten a stern but worried lecture about their relationship, and the importance of being careful when they were in public; she told the youngest members that she would help talk to Haseul in their stead. Truly, a noble leader.)

 

“Wait, are they back?” A familiar voice calls, the same one that ran through Chaewon’s thoughts at night.

 

Chaewon remembers Yerim stumbling out at the noise, eyes bleary and steps uncoordinated, most likely just woken up from a nap, but she perked up immediately once she saw them both. Her expression had faltered when she saw a red Chaewon and an equally flustered Hyejoo, eyes dragging from their faces to their hands. Chaewon remembers how her sunrise-bright eyes dimmed, mouth twisting uncomfortably as she greeted them both.

 

Something lassoed around Chaewon’s chest and squeezed the air out of her, as she watched Yerim retreat to her dorm just a moment later.

 

Hyejoo and Chaewon exchanged uncomfortable, but determined glances.

 

Operation: Make-Yerim-Fall-For-Us-And/Or-Acknowledge-She-Likes-Us was On.

 

But alas… Yerim proves to be a tough cookie to crack. Chaewon thinks it’s just her imagination when Yerim’s brand of photosynthetic energy seems more forced.

 

Worriedly enough, Hyejoo confirms that Yerim is more subdued around her at school, though it’s gotten much better since the first week they’ve been back. With Yerim hesitant and awkward to initiate contact, Hyejoo’s the one who sticks to her side like especially stubborn glue, dragging her to-and-from locations to get their relationship back to the way they once were.

 

For Chaewon’s part, she wedges herself snug in between Hyejoo and Yerim’s daily routine. Whether it’s helping Jungeun cook breakfast in the kitchen or getting up just in time to slur together a ‘have school at fun,’ Chaewon and Hyejoo make an incredibly determined effort in order to get Yerim to loosen up again.

 

But Sooyoung gently took her hand one day, when she was getting up to help Jungeun in the kitchen, as per usual. But this time her eyes her even more reluctant to open, body weak and sluggish.

“Calm down,” Sooyoung murmured sleepily, eyes still closed for the conversation taking place. “You’re not giving Yerim any time alone to think about your relationship; you’re going to scare her off. And we’re in the middle of promotions. Take care of yourself.”

 

Chaewon climbed back into bed, and slept like a log; from then on she only got up when she could muster the energy to.

 

Chaewon isn’t sure if the new distance helps, but Yerim seems to have slid into her old happiness like a familiar jacket, though her quieter nature when it was just the three of them still existed. Gone were the days of huddling on the couch and ribbing into each other for their poor DS skills, Yerim was overtly adamant on giving the new couple space to be together.

 

Chaewon feared that the usually close-knit trio would always be like this, stuck in a limbo of emotional miasma that permeated the air in between them. Her dreams of having a close-knit group, a family, was slipping out of her grasp—

 

“You’re being dramatic,” Jungeun said, rolling her eyes, when Chaewon had complained to her on a rare morning when she did win the battle against the warmth of her bed, “Please, just take the girl out on a date or something. No, not with Hyejoo, don’t make her third wheel, just the two of you.”

 

And that was the sum of Jungeun’s opinion.

 

So Chaewon sits and stews and waits, to snatch up some sort of opportunity, and correct the awkward air in between the trio.

 

Something is bound to give, and it comes in the form of a Hyejoo with a disappointing test score. The usually studious girl is crushed, a dandelion beneath someone’s feet, quietly retreating to their room. In between fansigns and music performances, it proved to be difficult to get any time to rest and catch up on the studies she’d missed.

 

Chaewon, with hurt winding tight in her chest, and Yerim, who looks exactly how Chaewon feels, the blonde girl carves a simple plan into stone.

 

“Yerim, we should do something nice for Hyejoo,” Chaewon says, and Yerim springs onboard.

 

They find themselves going out together later that afternoon, skies swimming with honeycomb yellows and candy pinks, Chaewon zipping up her jacket to keep herself warm from the spring chill. It’s hard to tell that Yerim still has a reluctance pertaining to the couple when Yerim marches with a determination that could rival her seriousness during dance practice.

 

They walk down the streets of Seoul, ignoring shops that Hyejoo would have no interest in, and glancing into windows that show promise.

 

“Chaewon, do you have any ideas? I just want to make sure she’s alright.” Yerim breathes hot air into her hands, eyes wandering listlessly through the sidewalks. “I’d suggest food, but that seems like a bad idea. For obvious reasons.”

 

Chaewon hums absentmindedly, though her mind races to fashion together a topic or two to step out of platonic waters. Think, think…

 

“...Chaewon?”

 

“Food is a bad idea,” Chaewon agrees, hiding a yawn behind a hand. “I think something simple would be okay, just to let her know we care.”

 

Yerim mulls the thought over, glancing up towards the sky, inviting the warm colors to inspire a of genius.

 

There’s a dandelion field a few feet ahead on the sidewalk. Chaewon squints at it, fingers twitching and mind flashing back to Budapest.

 

...No, she decides, looking forlornly at the field. She isn’t tacky enough to repeat a love confession. And Yerim deserves better than a take 2 attempt at a confession.

 

Dang.

 

“Oh! How about a t-shirt, or something? She’s the type to like useful things, right?” Yerim sounds excited, until she glances once at Chaewon.

 

“Uh… Actually, never mind.”

 

Chaewon looks down at her fluffy pink jacket and frowns, then looks up to see Yerim pursing her lips trying not to laugh. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“Ooh, look at that arcade!” Yerim gestures across the street, distraction cast. “I haven’t been there in the longest time, not since school and becoming a trainee.”

 

Chaewon glances at the arcade, neon lights dim in the still bright sky, advertising it’s ‘fun for the whole family!’ and at the fond look in Yerim’s eyes.

 

It’d be cruel to deny Yerim’s nostalgia, and cruel to herself for denying a glimpse of Yerim’s smile.

 

“Do you want to go in?” Chaewon asks, watching Yerim jolt upright, whirling her head back to face her.

 

“Aren’t we supposed to be finding a present for Hyejoo?”

 

“We could win a stuffed animal, or something,” Chaewon suggests. “It shouldn’t be too difficult.”

 

Yerim peers at her thoughtfully, long enough that heat starts to fill Chaewon’s cheeks. “Yeah, okay. You look like you need a break, too.”

 

Chaewon blinks. Confused and embarrassed, surprised delight foaming up her insides at Yerim’s care.

 

“What are we waiting for? We’re wasting daylight, let’s go!”

 

Yerim hustles Chaewon by the arm into the arcade, the light of the sky winking out as soon as they step inside. Artificial blues and reds like stage lights are blinding bright the second they step in, but they’re no match for the unabashed glee on Yerim’s expression.

 

“Okay, you see that stuffed wolf on the wall over there?” Yerim raises her voice to be heard, leaning in close. “I think we could get that if we play our cards right!”

 

“Okay!” Chaewon shouts back, quietly relieved that they’re not quite famous enough yet to get recognized in a well-worn arcade place. “Let’s do this!”

 

Unfortunately, Chaewon quickly realizes that wow were they bad at games; a kid half their puny size scores more basketball hoops than they do, and their luck for similar skill-based games is generally kaput, even without their active attempts at sabotaging the other:

 

Skeeball tallies to barely 200 points with the both of their efforts combined, whack-a-mole leads to a duel with the hammers, rhythm games looked like their best bet, but their timing always fell short. Even though they leave each machine with only a handful of tickets, their smiles are stretching wide enough to hurt. It’s obvious that they don’t have enough tickets to buy the stuffed wolf by the end of their hustle, however.

 

“We, ah, actually only have a couple of more coins to play another game or two,” Yerim says, breathless with laughter. “I don’t know how much longer we’re allowed to spend outside.”

 

They already spent above an hour in the arcade; it’s safe to call the trip a bust for Hyejoo’s gift idea.

 

“If we still want to go with the stuffed toy idea, I think I know a shop not too far from here that sells stuffed animals,” Chaewon leans in close to be heard. “We should spend the last of the coins before we leave.”

 

And there’s been one machine that’s caught Chaewon’s eyes from the moment they stepped in. It’s Chaewon’s turn to drag Yerim to a machine, dodging by the late night, incoming crowd until they arrive at their destination.

 

“Dance Dance Revolution?” Yerim lets out another loud, echoing laughter. “Okay, you messed with the wrong person. You’re on.”

 

They slot the coins in; truthfully Chaewon doesn’t recognize any of these songs, so she picks one at random. Immediately harsh, screaming guitars and blaring synths come on. Chaewon nods to the rhythm, getting a feel for the instrumentals.

 

Cheekily, just before the song starts, she sends a wink off to her dance partner. She laughs a sound like windchimes when it makes Yerim miss the first few notes, but it only makes Yerim hit the next few beats with perfect scores.

 

It’s a hard fought battle, but even Chaewon’s breakdancing skills aren’t enough to beat out a master.

 

Chaewon is just a couple thousand points off of Yerim’s score.

 

“Hah! I am the superior DDR player!” Triumph lights a fire in Yerim’s eyes, cocky and burning with mischief. She strikes a pose, finger pointed straight at the ceiling in a classic no. 1 pose for good measure. “Bow down before my superiority.”

 

Chaewon dips in a curtsy. “Yes, you sure showed me, Yerim-sunbaenim, queen of arcade games.”

 

The brunette throws her head back and laughs, pink with delight. Chaewon smiles, already reaching down to tug Yerim at the wrist. “C’mon, we should go before it gets too dark… Yerim?”

 

Yerim stares for a second too long at Chaewon’s loose grip on her wrist, snapping back up to attention. Even in the artificial, candy cane coloring Chaewon could tell that Yerim’s cheeks are heated more than usual.

 

Chaewon feels the sound of her pulse hammering against her temples, skin crawling with new, fixated heat. Even though it’s loud, so loud, Chaewon hears the stutter of Yerim’s breathing, sees her face flushed rosy pink, flicking her eyes from Chaewon’s gaze to her hand.

 

Ever so carefully, and ever so gently, Chaewon winds her hand down to Yerim’s, threading their fingers together until palm meets palm.

 

“Yerim,” Chaewon says quietly, voice shaking, nerves fumbling and synapses firing both terror and b excitement as she feels the world finally right itself. “I won’t hit you if you don’t get it, but I might be a little disappointed with all the dancing we’ve done around each other.”

 

She sees the nanosecond moment that Yerim finally realizes, parting and chest inflating with confusion and finally sweet honeyed epiphany, her teeth embedded into her bottom lip.

Chaewon’s heart soars outside of her chest when Yerim doesn’t pull away. Finally, finally, Hyejoo is going to be so happy—

 

“Did you talk to Hyejoo about this?” Yerim drops her voice to a barely audible whisper. And in hindsight, Chaewon would retell the story and laugh to Hyejoo later, but it’s not the thing Chaewon expects to be accused of now, and suddenly Chaewon’s heart-rocket sputters and grinds to a sudden halt.

 

“I, w-what? Of course I did! We’ve been trying to get you to notice us for the past couple of weeks!”

 

Yerim flushes rose, at the shameless admission, whining squeak trapped in the back of . “I didn’t know that! I thought, I didn’t—”

 

She finally pouts, groaning, steam billowing out her ears. “I didn’t know that. I thought you guys were trying too hard to make me feel not left out or something, and it was weird. But okay, I guess? Since I like you both.”

 

Chaewon’s eyebrows shoot up to her hairline in disbelief. “We didn’t even know you knew you liked us both? I thought you were still playing hot potato with your feelings!”

 

“Of course I did!” Yerim pauses. “Okay, well. I only stopped denying my feelings after you guys left but that’s not the point.”

 

Chaewon takes a deep, shuddering breath. Then ducks her head down to keep from laughing. This entire situation is utterly ridiculous. Yerim doesn’t even try to hide her laughter, leaning on the bars of the DDR machine for support, and nearly dragging Chaewon down to the floor with her in mirth.

 

“Wait, time out. Can we get a do-over?” Chaewon asks, seriously, once they’re done laughing. “I had rehearsed in the shower for Hyejoo— don’t laugh at me! I rehearsed lines in the shower and I didn’t do the same for you. This is morally upsetting.”

 

“I’m sorry?” Yerim laughs. “I think this works, too. Hanging out in an arcade, trying to win a prize for your… girlfriend.”

 

“Maybe yours too, once we bring Hyejoo into the loop.”

 

“...Really?”

 

“Did you miss the part when I said we were trying to win you over?”

 

Yerim snorts, but smiles brilliantly wide, all teeth and gums and elation, squeezing Chaewon’s hand. “Okay. I’m holding you to that girlfriend promise.”

 

Chaewon grins, squeezing her hand back, and every part of her sings with victory.

 

&&

 

“You got better at this,” Chaewon notices, watching Hyejoo roll past one of the monsters. Her arms are wrapped loosely around Hyejoo’s middle with Hyejoo sitting comfortably in her lap, though hunching forward to concentrate.

 

Chaewon winces when Hyejoo takes an ill-timed health boost break, and the monster rips its claws into Hyejoo’s character. The ‘You Died’ text flashes on screen and Hyejoo grips her controller tighter. “Never mind.”

 

“You jinxed it~” Chaewon could feel Yerim chuckle from where she’s nestled into her side. “Now Hyejoo has to run all the way back to the boss again.”

 

The trio were bundled up on the couch in the living room, marking their territory in the couch outside with a fort of pillows and blankets. It’s only once in a blue moon that the group gets a free day, and with everyone else going out or sleeping in their room, the trio waste no time in claiming Hyejoo’s PS4 as their activity for the day.

 

“I’m going to beat this game if it takes me our entire idol career,” Hyejoo mutters darkly, leaning back into Chaewon’s chest.

 

Yerim laughs again, rumbling and quiet, noisily clicking away on the DS. “I’ll still be here, on this couch, after ten years, just for you Hyejoo.”

 

“Only ten years?” Chaewon asks, using one hand to run her fingers through Yerim’s hair. “That’s an okay amount of time to be an idol. I guess.”

 

“I’d say for the next 1000 years, but someone has to have faith in our girlfriend. I think you can beat it in 10 years, Hyejoo.”

 

“She’s still stuck on the second boss. That’s a brave bet, Yerim.”

 

Hyejoo just barely parries an attack from a monster she struggled with prior, but now she deals with it with overwhelming ease. “Dating you two is just me getting bullied 24/7. This is harassment.”

 

“Maybe if you were better at the game you wouldn’t get harrassed.” Yerim and Chaewon say at the same time. They let out a chorus of noise at the temporary telepathic link, Yerim letting go of the DS to high-five Chaewon.

 

“I’m breaking up with the both of you.” Hyejoo squeals when Chaewon’s hand around her midsection digs her fingers into her sides. Another ‘You Died’ message comes on screen. “Nooo my blood echoes! How dare you!”

 

It’s hard to take a pouty Hyejoo seriously when she’s biting her lips trying not to laugh. Yerim groans when she loses, predictably, at another round of Mario Kart.

 

“You both are terrible at games,” Chaewon teases.

 

Yerim glares up at her, before stealing the swathe of blankets around her body, a cloak of cotton warmth. Amidst the protests of the others, she stands up to her full height on the couch, arms coming up to whoosh the blankets out from behind her, then belly flops onto the other two in a clamor of protests. “I’m calling for break time!”

 

“Taken down by warmth and comfortability,” Hyejoo says, muffled from...somewhere, underneath Chaewon and Yerim. “How far I’ve fallen.”

 

“...‘You’ve died,’” Yerim growls out in her lowest possible voice, and it sends them all into a laughing fit, human sized sandwich on the couch.

 

It’s hard to tell who’s who and who’s what when they’re all fused together in one blanket-y mass. Yerim somehow squeezes in between the two herself, nestling comfortably in between Chaewon and Hyejoo.

 

But Chaewon could get used to this, the solid warmth of the other two by her side, listening to their banter and joining in to tease, feeling loved and treasured by both and giving the same affection in return. It’s too soon to tell what will happen in the future, but for now, this is enough.

 

They’ve calmed down now, even if their amalgamate form still shakes with after-giggles. Chaewon takes in a deep breath, conjuring up a dandelion in her mind.

 

There’s an elbow crammed painfully into her side, it’s just slightly hard to breathe underneath all the blankets. The front door opens and the familiar voices of Sooyoung, Jiwoo, and Jungeun disrupt the still silence. Yeojin yells something in response to whatever it is that Jungeun asked; Chaewon closes her eyes, grinning regardless.

 

“I think some of the girls are home,” Yerim says. Laughter bubbles from her chest, sunshine bright. (She’s their sun, dazzling, vibrant and gold in color, showering them in endless happiness and affection like sunlight.)

 

“They’re so loud, all the time,” Hyejoo sighs, shifting so that they could both curl up against her side, limbs slotting together into a less painful configuration. Her arms come up to wrap around her girls, and she presses a kiss against Chaewon’s temple. “Will we ever get a moment alone?”

 

(She’s their moon, mysterious, stunning, but just as bright or warm; Hyejoo has a love that soothes and comforts, the breath of fresh air away from their busy idol lives. Chaewon thinks coming back into her arms feels like home.)

 

“Now you know how we feel, you brats!” Sooyoung yells back. It sets Yerim off into another round of giggles, though Hyejoo sighs again, heavily into her hair.

 

“I think it’s fine, just lying together like this is okay, too,” Chaewon mumbles.

 

It takes a moment to sink in, but when it does, Yerim is gushing at her side, ‘Hyejoo she’s so cute. Hyejoo what do we do?’ finding Chaewon’s face and peppering it with kisses. Hyejoo just squeezes Chaewon tighter, humming to let them know she agrees, too.

 

(And Chaewon...the star of their group, with an unshakable faith and a love that feels like childhood wishes fulfilled; optimism and glimmering, she hopes that she can make even their deepest of fears silent.)

 

She keeps the dandelion in her mind, takes another moment to inhale...

 

...Then breathes.

 

She imagines that she scatters the stars with a single breath, carrying away all of her dreams and desires, and wishes that these moments, caught in between the affections of Yerim and Hyejoo, would always last.

 

Dear dandelion, I’ll make a wish for three...