How do I start this *ponders for a while*

Well I guess hello I am carmie and I wanted to go back to the times in my life where I have been the most happiest. Just another oldie fan living in this huge kpop world. 

So just a small intro to me. I have been a kpop fan since late 2010 beginning of 2011. I was like 14, 15 years old when I jumped into this world. I have known about kpop for a while but it wasn't until I had Kbs World as a tv channel that I deep dove into kpop. as it now it's 2020 I mainly still listen to my old groups with a few new groups I enjoy listening to. As a full-time adult I just don't have the time to get into groups like I used too. 

Well I think that's enough blabbering let's just dive right in...

October 3rd, 2014 its a day even though now it is very fuzzy it will be a day I will never forget. I had gone to my very first kpop concert! 

B1A4 Road Trip in New York City!

It was the most stressful, emotional, and just a very impactful day. I had just turned 18 and to think back... It was just a mess. 

Being my first concert I had no idea what I was doing. I did see The Jonas Brothers when I was like 12 but that doesn't really count they came to my local mall and played 3 songs if I remember correctly.
Before I even go into the mess let me tell you how it all came to be.

I had just graduated from high school. And I wanted to spend my last summer of freedom... doing absolutely nothing. And once fall started I would go straight to work... 

If my memory serves me correct I was just going through my Facebook feed just regular lazy summer day and I saw another group was going on a US tour. 

I had been into kpop for about three years and I had no idea kpop concerts were a thing. Until I heard FTIsland Infinite and SMTOWN had gone to New York only like a year ago... And yes I cried...

Anywho the moment I saw it was B1A4 I did what any teenager without money would do... I begged my mom to buy me the tickets. I remember my plea deal I did with her. I said no need to plan my 18th birthday. Just buy me the tickets and a short trip to the city and I will not ask anything more.

All I heard back was... I'll think about it. And that hurt me so much. The moment my mom said that I knew there was no way I was going to go. So I did what I could to console my little heart... Cry while eating some ice cream.

A few days passed and my mom asked me where the guys were going to be performing... I don't really remember how the conversation started but it ended up in me writing down the name of the group and when they will be coming. But I didn't think much of it since we were going through a tough time financially so I just when on as normal. 

Until it was my birthday...

I had already given up on going to see B1A4. I knew I wasn't going to go. So my mom told me she and her then boyfriend wanted to do a small birthday bbq I said sure and invited my best friends from high school. 

And to tell you it was one of the best birthdays of my life... Adding that I am Hispanic myself and I did have my Quincenera (didn't go as how I dreamed it to be but that's a story for another day.)

So, my mom invited one of my aunts a few family friends and I was just having a good time since I was spending time with my friends. Then it was time to cut my cake. I was taking pictures with the family just the normal and I had to blow out my candles since well they were melting...

But my mom stopped me and told me to close my eyes... And I was confused why but still did it anyway. I actually thought I was going to get a second cake... I am not kidding I was literally wishing it was a cake... In my mind I thought Am I getting another cake! I hope it's ice cream cake... Why that was the first thing I thought I have no idea but it was. 

Of course I get open your eyes now... And what is the first thing I see. 

I thought it was just a simple piece of paper until I read B1A4 and once I had that realization... I screamed... I started shaking and I cried I really did... And just so many emotions I have never really felt this way just so overwhelming. For the first time in a long time, I was really happy. 

To this day if I meet up my with my two friends that where there that day they say they still remember how loud I scream. I even scared some of my family members. 

Once I had finally calmed down and the rest of my birthday went really smoothly and time to prepare. As I said I had no idea what I was doing. 

So there was only a few weeks left before the concert and I was going to go into it all blind. So what did I do... I just waited and thought of what to wear. And I thought It would be a good idea to make a banner. So I did this banner that I think I threw away a couple years ago... Or it's in my closet I dont know. My brother also now he says why I made a banner.

Small side note. It was not just my first concert. It was also my brothers. I was the one who dragged him into the kpop world. We are inseparable we go everywhere together. For B1A4 I thought they were not going to let him in since he was only twelve at the time. But I did email the venue and since I was already eighteen it was okay as long as he was with me. 

So to continue here is a recently 18-year-old Carmie getting ready to go to her first concert. My mom contacted a few of her family members who live in New York and said if we can visit and stay the night. And things were getting set and confirmed. All that was left was for the big day to come... 

Oct. 3rd, 2014. 

The day has finally come and I was so excited. I packed a change of clothes for the night before and some makeup and a few hair products. 

After talking to my uncle he told us the easiest way to get to New York was by train. So we woke up that say around four in the morning to be at the train station by five or six. So I get ready and we head to the train station and I was all new to this... So it was all a new experience. Since I am a shy person well now I am a little bit more open... But back then I hated asking for things or help. So when I had to buy the train tickets I was stuttering a lot... But I did it and we were on the train. And it was the first time I had ever been on a train. 

To be honest, going to this concert I was doing a lot a first. It was my first time going on a train. It was my first time seeing grand central station. Walking the streets of NYC it was so exciting and thrilling. I come from a small town in a small state (Connecticut) 

So We finally made it to the big city and I was in awe. I had been to New York before but I was too little to remember since it was my father's side of the family and the last time I had gone to see his family was when I was around seven so I really have no memory of those days. 

Continuing once we had made it I went straight to my aunt's house who lives in Queens. And we took a taxi which we shouldn't have but... We did anyway. 

To remind you I had No idea how kpop concerts work or concerts in general this really was my very first concert over.

So the entire time we were at my aunt's house and well it didn't dawn on me that I should have gotten in line early. 

I didn't leave to the venue until around 3 in the afternoon. And thinking back that was a very VERY bad idea. Especially since I had general admission. 

So I say I should get in line and a cousin of mine takes me by subway. Which was fascinating since I've never been in a subway before. And I finally get in line. 

I think I only waited for a few hours. I made friends in line for the first time. It was then the first time someone called me crazy from coming out of state. I live about 2-3 hours away from NYC depending where I'm going. And as the years go by I sometimes get told I am crazy not as often anymore though. 

So here we are waiting in line and man I will not forget this moment. If I had gotten line just a little earlier I would have gotten a wrist band for a HiTouch. I still regret it but I get redemption in a few years.

Now let's skip some time ahead. The doors finally open! I don't really remember how we got in this was 6 years ago. But here is where I messed up. The line friends I met suggested that we stand up at the balcony we would get a better view and my naive self said SURE! I don't really remember how the pit looked. Maybe 6-8 rows in when I got in. 

But I still listened and went to the balcony and stayed there for all of the concert I was like in the second row I think... Here is where I get a little sad. I don't have much memory of the concert. Like what was the first song they performed or what was the last song they performed. I also, unfortunately, I don't have any videos or pictures of the concert. I had them saved on my old computer and it doesn't work anymore, unfortunately. I only have one surviving picture

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Yes I know the picture is awful quality... I had an old phone that I am surprised the battery lasted through the concert. 

But I still treasure this picture so much it is really one of the only few proofs I have that let me know this actually happened. I actually cried a lot after coming back home. I couldn't come to terms that I actually saw idols I have been following for years. Like we were in the same place. And it pains me a lot that I hardly remember what happened. 

A special moment I do kind of remember is Sanduel was looking at the balcony area and I think they were singing a ballad and I was balling my eyes out. (I am that type of person. I cry and scream bloody murder at concerts.)

And call me crazy or whatever but we had a moment. I know because he smiled at me and I pointed at me and he nodded his head. Call me crazy or whatever but I know it was real! It really is the only memory I have kind of clear. 

So here we are at the end of my first concert experience. I know a little lacking. But as we move forward trust me things will get A LOT more interesting so look forward to it!

Up next in my Journey the beginning of my Summer Tradition

KCON NEW YORK 2015