"I am sorry, Winwin" as I pulled out from his kiss.
Winwin looked at me with a hint of confusion.
"I'm sorry" I said again as I look down and can't look at Winwin directly.
"Why are you saying sorry?" He said as he gives me worried look
"I just can't." I said almost a whisper
"What do you mean by why "I can't"?" he asked me and he started to get annoyed
"I still love-" i said but was cut off by him
"Stop. I don't want to hear it. You are tired." He said and leave me in our 
shared room.
Tears started to form in my eyes.
I hate myself.
I thought back then, it was love i felt for Winwin.
I thought Winwin is better than "him".
I thought I will be able to replace "him" with Winwin.
But I was wrong... No one is better than him.

I still remember his soft lips on mine. 
I will never thought that will be our last kiss.
It was a long chaste kiss till he break it up and started to talk.
"Yuta, I think we should break up.I think it's best for you. I am not worthy of you"
'he' said
"That doesn't matter, what matters with me is you love me and i love you.
do you love me?" I said looking at 'him' expecting 'him' to answer me with a yes.
"What I am feeling doesn't matter. There are many fishes in the sea. You can find
someone better than me." he said and left me hanging there.
I left the dorm we shared since I am debuting already with NCT 127.
Spending with NCT 127, I was able to get to know Winwin more.
Winwin.
The guy that I thought which is better than Hansol.
As days gone by, I felt  comfortable with him and I thought
that what I was feeling was love. Just like the love I felt for Hansol.
Then later on Winwin confessed and I accepted him.
Thinking that I will be happy with him but then I ended up hurting him.
I hurt Winwin because of my lingering feelings for Hansol.
Whenever I kiss Winwin's lips I imagine kissing Hansol's...
As we spend the night on bed, I felt it was Hansol that I am staring.
I am disgusted with myself for thinking like this.
I am taking Winwin for granted.
Why can't I just absorb Hansol's words?
To move on from him...
 

//

Author's Note: Actually this is an unfinished fanfic of mine that I wrote a long time ago. I don't know if I will make it as chaptered fanfic or not. that's why i marked this as complete because i was thinking if this could be just a oneshot. let me know your views if you want it as a chaptered fanfic or just a one shot. ~