(The tittle is supposed to be a wordplay, with another French word. « La Vie En Rose » (IZ*ONE debut song) litteraly means « Life in Pink », while « Rose » is also the name of the flower. This expression in French is used to express a great feeling of euphoria (from a French song of the same name). I replaced « En Rose » with the French word « Morose » which has the same meaning in English, one of the synonyms being « Splenetic », meaning a perpetual inward sorrow. The most accurate translation of the story's tittle would be « Splenetic Life », the total opposite of the song's tittle.)

Author's note : Don't mind the mistakes because you might encounter a lot, it's actually 4 am where I live and I'm not quite awake anymore.

In this little story, I wanted to draw Wonyoung's view on what's happening in her life alongside her inner conflicts since she and IZ*ONE made their debut.

What was this feeling deep inside ?

She didn't know, or maybe she ignored it. She continued to dance, to repeat the same moves again and again. Her body aching with the pain she accumulated since the debut of their schedule. It seemed even more difficult with her inner pain. She abruptly stopped. Alone with the emptiness of the practice room, she was still lacking on some specifical moves and stayed while the others returned to the dorm. Despite her members being worried she might overwork for her own good, she still stayed to practice wanting the result to be perfect.

Perfect.

She dreamed so many time of this first performance, on stage. She was so close, why was she so sad compared to her fellow members, always smiling happily, talking about tomorrow with no fear in their voice ? Or maybe, they hide it so well. They must feel pressured, of course. But when you are yourself so sad, you can't be aware of other people's sadness. Why can't she occult this pain ? Why can't she be strong enough to not let her feelings interfere ? Wonyoung was at the verge of crying, putting her hands on her face, unable to see her state on the mirror. Her legs were weak and barely able to keep her standing.

It's too hard for me... I can't anymore.

Wonyoung couldn't believe her own thoughts anymore. How can she think like that ? After all the hardwork ? What was wrong with her ? The tears were falling.

Where all of these insecurities come from ? Wonyoung likes everything about being an idol, performing, singing, dancing, even doing CF and posing for different brands. Her members were all nice to her and just great individually, she even debuted with Yujin, her closest friend. Where this sorrow comes from ? It's like she accomoded with the sadness, feeling it constantly since the begining. She wanted to be an idol, she had not a single doubt about it.

Only one reason was left.

Pressure.

She was pressured, stressed out. And being so young, she couldn't deal with it. Pressure was coming from everywhere, her fans, her family, her members, her company ; Starship, but Stone and OTR too. Having an image to keep, a goal to achieve. How to deal with everything at such a young age ?

She was anticipating a lot their debut. But on a brighter side that she never looked at yet, she was excited. She was happy. A deep contentment was there along the pain.

Wiping her tears. Wonyoung couldn't fear anymore. Everything was gonna be alright. Beside all the pressure she's receiving from all of those people. How much joy and reassurance is she receiving from them too ? How much happiness will she earn making her debut compared to the pain she feels now ? So much more. All the hardwork and the suffering are worth it.

Relaunching the music ; Wonyoung was already dancing again, with all the energy her youth could give her. She tried her best to see the future as it should be : brilliant.

And she succeed.