So... That was sitting in my notes for a while, i've found it, read it again and thought i should give it a chance, so here it is; It's my first time around here so be good to me hehe

“Yeah… They were wrong about you.” The blonde girl started the conversation. “I knew they were.” She said while they were sitting on the grass underneath a big tree.

“And how could you be so sure they were wrong before you even knew me??” The older girl asked curious. The girl sitting by her side was a big interrogation for her since they met.

“I saw you on TV, with your sister...” The blonde girl said while picking at the grass. “Everybody was talking about how you volunteered for her; they were calling you ‘The Career from District 12’; some even compared you with… with us.” She said the last part hesitant; the brown haired girl listened intently as she went on. “But, on the moment I saw you I knew you were nothing like us, like them.” The blond girl looked at her this time before continuing. “I saw it in your eyes, I saw how much you loved your sister, how much it hurt to leave her, and I saw how scared you were. When you’re a Career that’s no such thing as fear. When you look at a Career eyes as they volunteer, all you see is rage, pride and sometimes you see nothing at all.” She looked back at the ground.

“Seulgi…” The older girl began seeing the blonde slightly turn her head towards her. “Why you say things like that?? Sometimes you talk about Careers as if they were other people, sometimes you include yourself as one of them. I saw you on TV too, on the bloodbath, I saw how you didn’t care at all about anyone else, you’re only goal was to get to that stage. I saw it Seulgi, I saw the rage on your eyes as you made your way up and were announced as the female tribute of District 2. You were just like them, ever since I met you you’ve been just like them. Lots of teenagers from your district want to be here, lots of them come willingly every year, and you did the same, but at the same time it’s like you don’t want any of this. Who are you Kang Seulgi??” The brown haired girl asked, she wanted to believe that Seulgi was different, she seemed to be after all, but still, her actions would often tell differently. She was confused and she needed answers.

“Not everyone on District 2 wants to be a Career and participate on the games; yes, we are all trained since a young age, that’s obligatory. But not all of us have that same mindset.” She tried her best to explain still not looking back at the girl. “Some of us don’t have a choice, some are just afraid of going against everyone else and others have their own reasons.” The blonde girl answered resting her head on the tree behind them.

“How about yours?? What are your reasons?? You clearly hate all of this, but try to hide it putting up the Career mask. You’re so much like them yet so different. Why did you do it??” She finished. The blond girl sighed.

“Because, Joohyun.” She started, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “You’re not the only one with a sister to protect.” She answered looking at the girl next to her who was now taken aback. “I don’t want to be a Career, but I have to, for her. I had to be on full Career mode to make sure she wasn’t the one on this hell, that’s why I was the first to volunteer, why I left that girl unconscious on the bloodbath, that’s why I trained so hard to get high scores and sponsors, that’s why I’m trying to win this damned game.” She paused for a moment and looked deep into Joohyun’s eyes. “I’m just doing what you did, keeping my little sister alive for at least another year.” She looks down not wanting Joohyun to see how much this topic affects her, she knows she’s close to crying right now so she takes a deep breath to calm herself, then she hears Joohyun speak again, softly like she always seems to do with her.

“I didn’t knew that.” Was all she said. The blonde girl started to pick at the grass again, “A habit of hers.” Joohyun thought. “She’s always fidgeting when she’s nervous.” That was one of the things she had learned about Seulgi on the short time they’ve been allies.

“I didn’t tell anyone, it doesn’t matter anyway. I’m just a killer for them. My reasons don’t matter; they just expect me to put up a good show.” She said and the brown haired girl could hear a hint of sadness on her voice. “People in my district think highly of these games, for them it’s a chance to show how powerful District 2 is. They turn youngsters into killing machines, ruthless killers all for the sake of their pride. For the Careers it’s a chance to achieve glory.” Seulgi kept going, now looking far ahead of her, as if reminiscing; Joohyun only listened while admiring the girl’s side profile. “When the Reaping day comes it’s a celebration day, everyone gets excited to see who will be standing proud on that stage representing our great district.” Her voice was full of sarcasm and disdain. “My parents are no different.” Joohyun saw the blonde girl’s expression turn dark. “They wanted us to be here ever since we were young. I would often go against them, I’ve never wanted any of this, but every year since I turned twelve they would tell me I had to go into the bloodbath and win and I would lost on purpose, that would only infuriate them and make them double my training pushing me more and more. They knew I was doing it on purpose and that was their way of punishing me.” She paused and took a deep breath closing her eyes. Joohyun had no idea what overcome her and made her put her hand on top of the other girl’s but she did, she wanted Seulgi to know that she was here for her somehow, she needed to. The blonde immediately stopped picking on the grass opening her eyes and looking at their hands. Joohyun was more than surprised when Seulgi simply held her hand giving it a small squeeze. “When my sister turned twelve last year…” She continued, her eyes never leaving their joined hands. “…it was her turn to be put on the Kang’s spotlight. I knew what their plan was for her, it was the same they had for me, but I wouldn’t let it happen.” Joohyun subconsciously started to caress Seulgi’s hand with her thumb as she once again got lost on her memories. “Eunseo is fragile and sensitive, she doesn’t belong here, she was scared of even the possibility of having to participate, I knew she would never go against our parents, she saw the way they treated me, so I told myself that I had to do something and I did. One day during practice we were sparring and I had her on an arm lock, suddenly I had an idea, I was desperate, the Reaping was in two days and I had no idea how to stop her from being forced on the bloodbath, and also too scared to volunteer on her place, so I twisted a little more, just a little stronger and broke her arm.” She scoffed at that. “I knew that would do, they would never let her participate if she wasn’t at a hundred percent. It worked, but, they knew it was my fault, they always knew.” And once again Joohyun saw a dark expression take over Seulgi’s beautiful face. “This year was different, they separated the two of us, they wouldn’t even let me see her. When I finally got to see her again it was on the Reaping day, she was so scared. I knew she was going to do it, she wouldn’t dare disobey them and be punished, so I did it, when the bloodbath begin I threw myself at it before she could, if they wanted a daughter on the games they would have it, I’ve let all the anger inside of me just flow through my body, I’ve became the killing machine they trained me to be, I’ve became the Career they expected me to be.” She was looking at Joohyun now, right into her eyes, she could feel herself starting to get lost in them as she always did when Seulgi looked at her like that, no Career mask, just Seulgi. “The anger you saw on my eyes that day on TV, was all the anger I felt for years, years of being forced to be someone I wasn’t, anger for seeing my sister having to go through the same, anger at myself for being weak and letting them win. So yes, I am a Career now, but a Career it’s not who I am.” She was still staring at Joohyun and the brown haired girl could see something different on her eyes, almost like if she was pleading Joohyun to believe her to see through her district number, and Joohyun did, she could only see Seulgi now, not Career Seulgi, not the mysterious and annoying Seulgi and definitely not the arrogant, sarcastic and sometimes cold version of Seulgi she saw when they first met, this was just Seulgi, a girl who was just like her having to grow up to fast, scarred by life and trying to protect the ones they love.

“It's not.” Joohyun said bringing her hand to caress the blonde girl’s cheek; she had a few cuts on her face, her blonde hair was messy, but to Joohyun, Seulgi never looked more beautiful. “I doesn’t matter how much you act like them, you’ll never be one of them. I understand you Seulgi, we’re the same.” She assured the girl taking both of her hands this time.

“We may have the same reasons for being here, but for them, were not the same Joohyun, you’re a poor girl trying to survive, and I’m a killer searching for glory. The numbers on our backs define how they see us, how they’ll always see us.” Seulgi said referring to the big number 2 imprinted on the back of her shirt and the big 12 on the back of Joohyun’s, they districts numbers, they different realities.

Joohyun knew she was right; the 12 on her back made her a poor girl from a poor district who sacrificed herself to save her little sister and maybe have a small chance of a better life if she manages to win; and the 2 on Seulgi’s back made her a Career, a trained killer that wanted to prove to everyone that she was the best, that her district was the most powerful, that even if she had to steal her sister’s “spotlight” to make sure she was the one with the honor to participate the game she would, she would do whatever it takes to succeed, no emotions, no heart, nothing, just an empty shell waiting to be filled with blood and the eternal glory of being a winner. Seulgi closed her eyes for a moment and Joohyun could see she was trying hard not to break.

“The numbers on our backs don’t define us Seulgi. Not for me, for me they’re just numbers.” Joohyun said putting her forehead against Seulgi’s. “What really define us it’s not what’s on our backs; it’s what’s on our chests.” She whispered to the girl in front of her as if it was a precious secret the blonde had her eyes open now and they were staring at each other, the older girl swear that she never felt more tempted to kiss someone in her entire eighteen yeas of life. “This heart.” The brown haired girl said pointing at the other girl’s heart. “It’s what people should see.” Joohyun smiled and she never expected Seulgi’s voice to come out so tiny and fragile when she spoke.

“And what if I don’t want them to see it??” She asked unsure. Letting other people see her true self was somehow scary for her.

“Can you show it only to me??” She saw a flash of doubt cross through the blonde’s beautiful monolid eyes but it went away as soon as it came being replaced by something so sweet and warm that Joohyun’s heart almost jumped from her chest onto Seulgi’s hands, and even more when she heard her answer.

“Yes.” The blonde girl said carefully putting a strand of brown hair behind the older girl’s ear and resting her hand on her beautiful face. “Only to you Joohyun.” She finished closing her eyes once more. Joohyun couldn’t take it anymore and just leaned forward closing the distance between them. Seulgi’s lips were just as soft as she imagined them to be and a thousand times sweeter, yes, she may have though about how would be like kissing the blonde, and now that she was she couldn’t believe it. For a moment she forgot where they were, the situation they were in, she forgot everything and just focused on moving her lips in sync with the younger girl and running her fingers through her blonde locks, on this moment it was just the two of them drowning on each other. If she could kiss Seulgi for the rest of her life she would, but unfortunately they needed air and had to break the kiss.

“Is this a dream??” Seulgi asked with that cute face she always did when she was confused melting Joohyun right there making her lean forward again and give the younger girl a peck on her lips.

“Yes. A dream inside a nightmare.” The older girl said smiling sadly at her. “A dream that soon or later we’ll have to wake up from.” She looked down at the ground, the reality of it all hitting her once again.

“We don’t have to wake up now Joohyun.” Seulgi said lifting the brown haired girl’s chin to look into those eyes that captured her since the first moment she looked at them. She could see the sadness in Joohyun’s eyes being replaced by a small flame of happiness before she threw herself into her arms. “And when we wake up, we can face the nightmare together.” She whispered into the older girl’s ear holding her tight.

“You know, I really like this version of you. It’s not the annoying Seulgi I’ve met in the practice room, nor the mysterious and vague Seulgi that would often appear, and definitely not the crazy Seulgi I saw on TV.” Joohyun said pulling back enough to look at the younger girl.

“Really?? And which Seulgi is this??” She asked genuinely curious. Joohyun wrapped her arms around her neck joining their foreheads again and simply said with a smile.

“My Seulgi.”

Please let me know what you think ^^

See ya~