Written for the lovely @Grvdggr06 

So, it looks like I've overestimated my writing speed and two days turned into two weeks. (What's with college and day one assignments anyways?!!) I can't delay updating it any longer so here goes nothing. Hope you like it! 

 

---

 

When Sungjin stomps in the living room, Jae can already see the red flames in his eyes. He’s usually a very calm person, but spending the whole day in a meeting with The Council will do that to the calmest. So Jae doesn’t give it much thought and downright ignores him. He’s in the middle of a fierce battle anyways. Whatever decision The Council took will have to wait.

The youngest, however, has never liked waiting. He pulls the monitor’s plug off and suddenly the screen turns black with only Jae’s reflection on it.  

 

 

“Time for the serious talk,” he crosses his hands, expression all stern.

 

 

“You should’ve at least waited till I’ve finished that battle!” Jae pouts in irritation. It’s no use. Sungjin’s expression doesn’t soften. He’s immune to his pouts.

 

 

“Don’t you have any conscious left?” he growls threatingly.

 

 

The taller purses his lips in disapproval. It’s true that Sungjin had to meet with The Council in his stead. He didn’t have to get all that worked up though. He's still younger than him.

 

 

“For God’s sake Jae! I’ve spent this whole day convincing The Council not to send you to exile and you still don’t give a about anything!! At least show some concern damn it!”

 

 

He frowns, bewildered, “Exile? What for?”

 

 

“Now you don’t know what you’ve done!" The youngest takes a deep breath to calm himself, "I have no problem spending the next two decades reciting your thoughtless acts, but we have a more serious issue at hand and we need to solve that asap.”

 

Jae rolls his eyes. His brother tends to overreact sometimes, or all the time. “And what is this serious issue?” 

 

 

“Well, apparently, some college student has been collecting information about you and if his thesis gets approved, he’s going to publish a whole book about reincarnation or whatever he thinks this is.”

 

 

“That’s it?” Jae really doesn’t see what's too problematic about the matter.

 

 

“That’s it? That's it?!! Jae I’m telling you the guy is doing a whole research about you and is going to publish it to the world and that’s all you got to say?”

 

 

“Well didn’t The Council erase every trace of me from the internet? What proof does he have for his theory? Not much I’d say.”

 

 

Sungjin purses his lips, visibly trying so hard not to explode. His response comes out as sarcastic, “Yeah, just hundreds of paintings, seventy-six portraits, one thousand photographs, a few books and some articles, without mentioning the stuff still not under The Council’s radar. So no, not enough material.” 

 

 

 

So Jae may has not been the most discreet immortal. For the seven centuries he’s lived, he’s never been one to lay low. He just loves leaving his print wherever he goes. Starting from the time paints and sculptures were the rage, to when photography took the world by storm, he’d took every given chance to have his face, and even name, forever imprinted in any form. Of course The Council has tried really hard to hide most of those works. His portraits, sculptures and many of his writings are secured in his family’s manor. But that’s all they could hide, which is barely enough. His face is still present in many famous paints and his presence mentioned in many articles, books and historical texts. 

 

And then things went out of control. Because unlike paintings, a photograph can be printed multiple times and can be published or posted on the Internet. Jae himself was out of control. He befriended a lot of celebrities, tried to be a celebrity a few times. Good thing he had Sungjin to convince him to use a fake name every time he gets slightly famous. So every decade, when it’s time for him to move away, The Council workers spend months erasing every possible trace of him. They really do their best, but something always slips, and some people take notice. Even Jae once started a blog about the mysterious guy, that is himself, just for the fun of it. He has only erased it because Sungjin has threatened him. The Council, though, only stuck to long lectures and big fines, never exile. Which confuses Jae more than worries him.

 

 

“You’re talking as if he’s the first one to notice and try doing this kind of research. What has changed this time?” he asks.

 

 

“Well, before there was no internet and they were just small blogs and articles. But this one is pretty big. He’s a top student and he’s already caught a lot of professors and researchers’ attention. If his research gets approved and his book gets published, there’s going to be a worldwide havoc. Everyone who’s ever met you or will meet you will notice. You’re going to be in a lot of danger and endanger the rest of our community.”

 

 

Jae sighs heavily, “Can’t they just get some witch to erase his memory?”

 

 

Sungjin looks at him in disbelief, “If you’ve been paying attention for at least the last century, you would have noticed that we no longer have contact with the witches! We’ve lost trace of them after the treaty between us has ended.”

 

 

The taller just groans in irritation, “Well what am I supposed to do then? I don’t think I can even present myself to the guy without him losing his . And what am I supposed to say? Hey it’s me, the guy you’re doing researches about? Can you drop your thesis please? You see, I’m an immortal and your book can expose me and make The Council really mad at me? Is that what they want from me?”

 

“No Jae, you won’t have to do that. Because guess who’s fixing your for you like every single time? Of course it’s me. I’ll have to go back to that boring professor job and try to convince him not to do it. Or just kill the guy, I don’t know. Whichever works best.”

 

Relief washes over Jae, “And here I were worrying for nothing! Call me when you come back then.” he stands up and tries to run away, like every time.

 

 

“Jaehyung Park, come back here! You’re coming with me.” Sungjin orders firmly.

 

 

Jae turns around, giving him a sheepish grin. He knows he can’t leave Sungjin to deal with it himself. It’s true that the youngest still feel indebted to him, but he’s been covering up for Jae for centuries, and Jae himself can admit that he’s been too much to deal with. He can never stop feeling gratitude for his adopted brother. Plus, he needs to take responsibility for his doings. 

 

“Where to?” He asks with his stupid smile still on.

 

“Seoul, South Korea.” Sungjin replies cautiously.

 

And the smile slips out of Jae’s face. That’s the last place he has expected. The shock is evident in his strong protest, “B-but, we’ve just rotated from there. We can’t go back! It’s against The Council’s policy!”

 

“You said it yourself. It’s their policy, they can break it when the situation calls for it. And this definitely does.”

 

 

The Council can’t be seriously sending him back this soon. It’s a rotation system The Council had came with, when it was first founded, so it could keep track of all the immortals and keep the community close together, but dispersed evenly around the earth. The rule says that every immortal has to move to a different country every decade and start anew. They can’t go back to the same country unless fifty years had passed. But now, Jae has to go back to Seoul after two years only. 

 

“People might recognize me.” he mutters defeatedly. 

 

Sungjin seems to understand his dilemma. He knows very well that Jae genuinely doesn’t care if people recognize him. Except for one.

 

 

“It’s going to take just a couple of months. You can stay at home and only go out at night. You’ve done that hundreds of times before, you can do it again.”

 

 

That’s what Sungjin says, but Jae knows what he wants to add.

 

 

‘And what are the chances of meeting him, really.’ 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Nostalgia hits him at full force, which is very unexpected since he’s been there not long ago. Nothing much has changed. Seoul is still as hectic as ever and its streets are almost still the same. It’s one of the cities he has lived in the most. And usually, he’d spend weeks getting used to the changes, since he stays away for decades. But this time it’s different. It feels like he’s been on a business trip or studying elsewhere and had just came back. Everything is almost the same, the differences are barely noticeable.  

 

Still, Jae hates it. The memories are as vivid as ever, waiting for him in every corner of the city. His efforts to erase them for the last two years are going down the drain. He’d wished to come back to Seoul a century later, when he no longer remembers, doesn’t get affected by those memories, and doesn’t expect to see him everywhere. This is way too soon, and after a week, staying at home 24/7 is more bearable than going out. 

 

The boredom can kill any regular human being. But for an immortal like Jae, it’s nothing compared to the centuries he had lived before technology. His video games, books and movies’ collections were enough to distract him for the time Sungjin spends at work. Usually he’d put his other skills to work. He’s mastered all kind of arts in his life to come with a masterpiece every time he couldn’t control his emotions. Especially after every break up, he’d write melancholic poems and heartbreak songs, compose sorrowful melodies, paint sombre paintings. That has always been his remedy. Yet, he’s been unable to come up with anything for almost three years. All of his skills had been completely paralyzed, rending him an easy prey to his own feelings.

 

It doesn’t help that he’s not the only emotionally unstable person. Even Sungjin has been acting weird since his first day as the student’s mentor, and refused to elaborate much on the progress, not that Jae asked that often. No matter how big of a matter it is, a book exposing him and sending him to exile is the least of his concerns right now.

 

 

 

 

 

“I’m trying to be like a rock in his way, but he’s so determined it’s driving me crazy. He told me he’s been working on this since he was ten. The amount of material he has is insane. I’ve never seen most of the pictures he’s collected. It’s too fascinating that it makes me want to kill you. every. single. time.” Sungjin gives him a death glare.

 

 

They’re trying to enjoy a Friday night without going out, which is something they’ve done a lot of times before. The only difference is that they’re both tense and obviously got a lot on their minds. They’re both hoping the brotherly banter will relax them a little bit.

 

 

Jae chuckles, “I didn’t know I had such a devoted fan. Maybe I should meet him one day.” 

 

 

“Maybe you will. One day.” Sungjin has a distant longing look that got Jae concerned. Although he knows that when it’s time, his brother will tell him what's wrong, he still worries about him.

 

 

“Do we have anything to eat? I’m famished.” Sungjin asks, trying to change the topic.

 

 

“I ordered pizza. And don’t give me that look. Too much fast food won’t affect our health and I’m in no mood to cook.” He gains an exasperated sigh as a response. They’ve had that talk an endless amount of times. Jae's in no mood to go through it again. 

 

A long, long, long time before, they had servants, so it was no problem. But then Sungjin got interested in Human’s Rights and refused to depend on servants anymore. Jae was not even one to mistreat them and even paid them. So he almost went crazy, having to start doing everything by himself, even cooking. It was a complete disaster at first, then he started learning little by little. He even went to a culinary school when he lived in Italy and became a well-known chef. That was before food delivery became a thing. It made him lazy, as he barely cooks anymore. 

 

 

“I hope you ordered enough for two then.”  The taller grins. It’s one of those rare times where Sungjin easily gives in.  

 

 

 

“Pizza is here!!” He jumps from the couch in excitement when he hears the door bell.

 

 

‘I should’ve listened to Sungjin and cooked something,’ is his first thought when he opens the door. His good mood slips away, his smile dropping instantly. The pizza he had ordered has been dropped to the ground, just like his own heart. 

Foxy eyes he’s long missed stares wide back at him, and the voice that had once enchanted him whispers his name in shock, and longing, if centuries of him studying people’s behavior is anything to go by.  

 

 

“J-Jae.” 

 

 

Before he weakens or loses his resolve, he slams the door shut and runs back inside.

 

“Where’s the pizza?” he hears his brother ask but completely ignores him and runs to his room. 

 

His whole body is trembling and his eyes are stinging with tears but he refuses to shed another tear over him. He’s allowed him to hurt him hundreds of times before, and regretted it immensely. It’s time to be indifferent towards him. His heart should listen this time and stop beating for him, stop missing him, stop yearning for him. He’s moved on for God damn it!

 

Memories he’s been trying hard to forget haunt him. Even when he finally drifts into sleep, he finds them waiting for him. Some of them are bittersweet dreams and others are horrific nightmares. He hates them all alike.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Five years ago

 

 

 

The sun is still high in the sky when Jae finishes his last lecture for the day. It’s very hot for a mid September day, he’s already sweating like crazy. He regrets not driving his car to the campus that morning and listening to Sungjin’s advice.

 

 

“Why did I choose today of all days to walk to campus. Damn you Sungjin, why do I need vitamin D  for anyways!!” he swears and stomps his feet in annoyance. 

 

 

Their apartment building is just two blocks away, but Jae won’t walk all the way there in such a hot day. So, he decides to wait for the bus. He puts his headphone on and gets immersed in whatever song comes in shuffle. Ten minutes pass and there’s still no sign of the bus, but he doesn’t mind. He lived through a time where there were no cars nor buses. He can survive a few extra minutes of wait. 

 

Suddenly, a small pat on his shoulder startle him. By reflex, he flinches, tears away the headphone, and turns to his side simultaneously. It seems that his body’s reaction was too fast and strong, since he’s greeted by the face of a stunned boy, probably the one who’s tapped him on the shoulder since they’re the only one in the bus stop.

 

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” the boy bows apologetically.  

 

 

Jae smiles softly, “It’s okay. I think I’m the one who had startled you. My reflex’s problematic.” 

 

 

The boy, who’s obviously somewhere between eighteen and twenty, blushes furiously as he averts his eyes. Jae can see that he wants to say something, but he’s hesitant.

 

 

 

“Is everything fine?” he asks in concern. Since he wanted his attention then maybe he needs his help.

 

 

 

“Actually, I- ” the boy still doesn’t meet Jae’s eyes as he talks hesitantly, “My shoelaces are undone and I almost fell a few times, and as you can see-” he looks down so Jae follows his eyes and only then does he notice the cast around the boy’s right arm. His eyes then move down and indeed, both his shoelaces are undone. Walking probably has been hell for him. 

 

The boy doesn’t finish his sentence from visible embarrassment. Jae finds it extremely cute.

 

 

“Can you sit down? I’ll tie them for you.” he offers, and gains another surprised look as a response.

 

 

He waits until the guy process his words and sits down, mumbling a bashful ‘thank you’. He crouches and starts with the right shoe. “I’ll tie them very tight that they’ll never get undone ever again,” he move to the next shoe, “Is your arm okay though?” 

 

 

“It’s broken, but it’s healing fast. The doctor said he’ll remove the cast by next week.”

 

 

“Well that’s some good news,” Jae finishes tying the second shoe. He then raises his head, realizing how close his face is to the boy. He uses that opportunity to study his face. Forehead halfway covered by messy back hair, foxy eyes that are both tender and smart, fair skin and soft looking lips. He finds the boy very charming.

 

 

“What’s your name?” Jae asks without much thinking. 

 

 

“Kang Younghyun.” The b- Younghyun whispers, flustered by the close proximity.

 

 

Jae stands up, afraid of creeping him, and sits next to him, “Park Jaehyung, but everyone calls me Jae.” 

 

 

“Nice to meet you Jae,” he smiles warmly, encouraging Jae to talk to him more. And flirt.

 

 

“So, what a handsome guy like you is doing in here? Are you a student?” 

 

 

“Yes, Freshman. But if I knew I’d find nice guys like yoursself I would’ve came a year earlier,” all bashfulness gone, Younghyun seems bolder now, and more confident.

 

 

Jae chuckles, liking this side of the boy as well, “What about we redeem for the lost time and go for a cup of coffee right now? If you don’t have any plans of course.”

 

 

There’s no hesitation in Younghyun’s expression when he says,“I’d love too.” 

 

 

They both lose any sense of time during their date -because that's what it is- and only realize it when it’s already dark outside. Talking to Younghyun was so fun and by the time they leave the coffee shop, Jae is smitten. Totally and Officially. 

 

 

“There’s no more buses. Do you want me to take you home?” he offers.

 

 

“No it’s okay. I don’t live that far,” his date says, only out of courtesy though. His eyes are basically begging Jae to insist. Which he does with pleasure.

 

 

“I’ll walk you then. And you can’t refuse.” 

 

 

Jae doesn’t mind the amount of walking he does that night. Younghyun lives a good fifteen-minute walk away from campus, and in the opposite direction of his apartment, but he gladly walks him home and then walks back to his apartment, doesn’t even think of stoping a taxi. There’s a skip in his steps and he feels all giddy inside. 

 

 

“I bet all of my wealth you have a new crush,” Sungjin comments the moment he steps in their shared apartment, as if he can smell it in the air. “Please don’t tell me it’s a student,” 

 

“He is a student. A freshman.” Jae confirms, grinning like an idiot.

 

The youngest clicks his tongue disapprovingly,“You’re a crazy ert.”

 

“Hey I’m not that old!” the taller protests, offended.

 

“Nah, just a few centuries old.”

 

“As if you’re any better. I’ve never seen you date anyone older than thirty so you’ve got no right to speak.”

 

“I’m younger than you.”

 

“Being two centuries younger than me doesn’t change the fact that you’re centuries old as well.”

 

That shuts Sungjin up, before he repeats the same comment,“He’s still  a student.”

 

“Whatever.” Jae won’t let him spoil his mood. He feels like floating, and he’s only met Younghyun a few hours ago.

 

 

 

 

The next day, Jae basks in joy when Younghyun walks into his class, late. The boy stays still at the classroom’s door, staring at the taller in confusion.

 

“Take a seat please,” he orders with a stern look, trying to hide his smirk. 

 

Younghyun stumbles to a seat and spends the whole period starring at him in awe.  He approaches him once the lecture ends and the class is dismissed. 

 

“I can’t believe I’ve flirted with my professor and even went on a date with him.” 

 

“Welcome to college, where professors are hot and irresistible.” Jae winks seductively.

 

“I have nothing to complain about,” comes Younghyun’s bold reply.

 

“So you won’t mind having dinner with me tonight?”

 

“No. I won’t. But seriously, how old are you? I though we were the same age!”

 

“If I tell you, then I’ll have to kill you,” Jae whispers in mock seriousness before laughing loudly at his own joke.

 

“I’m starting to believe that you’re some old geez who had tons of plastic surgeries to keep a youthful look. Am I right?”

 

“You have no idea.”

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

Younghyun stands frozen on the doorstep. His vision is bleary with the tears that had gathered in them and his heart running miles a second. He can’t believe he’s just seen him. He’s sure this time, his eyes are not playing tricks on him. He’s mistaken too many people on the street for his ex lover, but that was out of desperation. He still needs to double check, just to make sure.

 

He’s about to ring the bell again when the door bursts open. The sight of Sungjin’s shocked face confirm that yes, that was Jae a moment ago. The shock turns into hatred in a split second as the eldest grabs him from his collarn almost suffocating him. There’s flames in his eyes.

 

 

“What the hell are you doing here? Haven’t you done enough?” He then punches him really hard and sends him flying. Younghyun doesn’t fight back, knowing very well that he deserves whatever Sungjin can do to him.

 

 

“If I ever see you anywhere near him I’m going to kill you. Now get the out of my face!” He threatens before slamming the door in his face again.

 

 

 

Younghyun’s lower lip is already bleeding and his cheek is throbbing by the time he gathers enough energy to stand up. He doesn’t leave though. He’s spent two whole years searching for Jae. Now that he’s found him, he’s not going to let him slip again from him. He’s not even sure that Jae lives here, maybe he’s just visiting someone, maybe he’s here for a few days.

Anyways, Younghyun doesn’t want to lose his chance and chooses a discreet spot from the other side of the street, keeping an eye on the house. He uses his shirt to wipe away the blood and calls work to tell them he won’t come back. His boss might fire him but that’s the least of his concerns. All he wants right now is to talk to Jae.

For once, he’s sure he’s got his priorities right.

 

 

 

Four years ago

 

Unexpected was the key word to his relationship with Jae. Whether how the tall brunet from the bus station that had took him on a date turned out to be his professor, or how they’ve fallen in love and started dating. Younghyun didn’t expect any of it. And most definetly, doesn't expect anything new he's learned about his lover that night.

 

 

They’ve been cuddling on Jae’s couch for the whole afternoon. They’re trying to relax after two stressful weeks of midterms. Sungjin is in the kitchen, cooking something that smells like heaven for Younghyun. They’re both fighting sleep, Younghyun is laying on top of Jae, his head laying on his shoulder and his nose nuzzling his neck, Jae’s arms secured around him, with him dropping soft kisses on top of his head every now and then. The warm comforter thrown around them doesn’t help the laziness that washes over Younghyun, he’s already drifting to sleep. 

 

 

“SUPRIIIIIISE!!”

 

The foreign voice startles, not only him but even his boyfriend, as he sits in a flash almost sending Younghyun to the ground but catches him last minute. 

 

“!! Do you wanna kill us or something?!! Can’t you enter like a normal being?” Jae yells in annoyance.

 

The culprit is a middle aged man, who’s currently standing in the middle of the living room, a bottle of wine in his hand. He’s giving Younghyun curious looks that Jae seems to catch right away. He sighs in defeat before introducing them.

 

 

“This is my boyfriend, Kang Younghyun. Love, this is my uncle, Park Jinyoung.”

 

Younghyun’s eyes widen in surprise as he pushes himself out of Jae’s embrace and stands up to give a polite bow. The man chuckles at his reaction.

 

“No need for that. I’m just here to have dinner with all of you. Like a friend, you know.”

 

“Then start sitting the table, Jinyoung-ah!” Sungjin’s voice orders form the kitchen.

 

Mr. Park rolls his eyes, “Always disrespectful that one. He never changes.” and like that he starts doing what he was asked for.

 

 

 

The food Sungjin cooks challenges the fanciest restaurants' food, and the wine his uncle had brought is the cherry on top. The man himself is so cheerful and easy-going, never stopped speaking for the first half of the meal. 

 

“So, did you hear anything from your father lately?” he asks cautiously, his question directed to the siblings. 

 

They both share a mischievous look before they take turns attacking him, Jae starting it. 

 

"So that’s what this visit is all about!”

 

 

“And I thought you missed us-”

 

 

“-But no, it’s about your brother-”

 

 

“-What are you planning this time?”

 

 

“Lemme guess. A new bet?”

 

 

“You lost again, didn’t you?”

 

 

“Let's try and act surprised.”

 

 

“You never learn, don’t you?”

 

 

“How much did you lose?”

 

 

“Or what exactly did you lose?”

 

 

Younghyun is both fascinated and creeped out by the way they kept finshing each other's sentences, both sporting a disapproving look. It’s kind of amusing, seeing them scolding their uncle as if he’s a child and they’re his parents. Mr. Park is pouting dejectedly when he answers their question.

 

“I lost something. Very precious.” he starts, as if to ease them into the shock. “The Caribbean island.”

 

No, that’s still too shocking, especially for Younghyun, even though he’s not the one who shrieks.

 

“WHAT?!! Why would you bet on that?!” Sungjin’s horrified, but Jae is sporting an amused expression.

 

“Now I know what to ask for my birthday. Thanks JYP! You’re the best uncle EVER!” he half hugs the still pouting adult but gets shoved away.

 

“You’re getting too greedy, aren’t you?! Isn’t enough that you took the cottage in Rome and the winery in Paris?! What more do you want from me?!”

 

 

“Hey! I’m not taking them from you. You’re the one always getting into those bets with my father. And he’s generous with us. Plus, Sungjin asked for the Osaka castle last year, so who’s the greedy one?” 

 

 

“Hey! I’m the obedient son, so of course I deserve the good stuff.” 

 

 

“Whatever you two. Next time I should bet something less worthy.” 

 

 

“You say that every time-”

 

 

“-And then you end up betting something more expensive-”

 

 

“-You’ve already lost half of your estates to dad-”

 

 

“-One day you’ll end up with nothing-”

 

 

“-And we’ll have to say ‘we told you so’-”

 

 

“-And we’ll be enjoying it-”

 

 

“-Alongside a long vacation in MY Caribbean Island!”

 

Then, they both give each other a triumphant high five and bursts laughing at the look on their uncle’s face. He pitifully looks at Younghyun, “Their evil selves are finally showing.”

 

Said guy chuckles uncomfortably, doesn’t know how to react after witnessing his boyfriend of almost two years talking about several-million properties like they are some toy he’s just won. He’s never guessed that Jae’s family, and Jae himself, are THAT rich. Coming to think about it, he barely knows a thing about his lover’s family, other than that Sungjin is adopted, and that’s not even a secret, as the two siblings like to bring it up in every banter.  

 

 

But then everything falls into place, he wonders how it took he too long to realize that Jae’s background is completely different from his. Jae and Sungjin may be living together in a humble apartment, but he’s sure each one of them owns more than just one exported expensive car. And then comes their clothes, even the most comfortable ones scream luxury and smell of money. As for their accessories, gold and diamond are present in almost every piece.

Both of them are really down-to-earth as well, but they never check the price of things they’re buying, don’t care about the total cost when they take out their black credit cards to pay. They always mention all the countries they’ve visited before, the things they’ve tried there, and the list goes on.

Younghyun feels like an idiot for not realizing it earlier.

 

 

 

“You’ve never told me that you’re rich.” he comments when he’s laying in bed with Jae that night.

 

 

“Does it make a difference?” Jae asks, fingers tangled in Younghyun's hair, brushing through it absentmindedly.

 

 

“It does, for me. I felt like an idiot earlier, like it’s my first time getting to know you, while we’ve been dating for two years,” he answers bitterly. 

 

 

“Hey," Jae sits right away, concerned eyes locking with Younghyun's, "Are you upset?” 

 

 

“I don’t know. If I’ve never told you about my parents’ accident and then one day my uncle shows up and brings it up, wouldn’t you feel upset that I didn’t tell you? That I’ve never seen it as something necessary? Isn’t that what lovers are about, sharing everything with each other, knowing everything about each other?” his voice gets angrier the more he talks.

 

 

 

“I’m sorry," his lover apologizes without hesitation. He does look guilty. "I didn’t mean it. It’s just something I’m not used to talk about that openly. It’s kind of a habit. I swear I didn’t mean to make you feel like this.” he drops a kiss on his forehead, then lies back next to him.

 

 

“It’s not something that I made by myself." Jae explains after a long pause, "My family has always been interested in investing, whether in real estates or in the stock market, and they’re really good at it, knows when and where to do it. So our wealth kept growing with every generation. My uncle doesn’t have any kids and I and Sungjin aren’t interested, but our parents insist that we keep the family heritage going. They’ve pushed us to invest whatever we earn or whatever they gift us. They’re taking care of it for us, since they know how to make money double in the shortest periods. So it may be my money, but I wasn’t the one making it. That’s why I don’t talk about it.”

 

 

While Jae was talking, Younghyun kept playing with the necklace around his lover's neck. It's a silver chain with a round disk charm, where 'J & Y' and their anniversary date were engraved on it. He's given it for Jae on their first anniversary. He can see how shabby it looks in comparison to the rest of his accessories. He lets it slip from his fingers then turns around, and curls on himself, keeping a good distance between him and his boyfriend. 

 

“BRIIIIIIII-” Jae whines as he slips his arm around his waist, spooning him. He loved to call him Brian and all the nicknames coming from it, since he’s heard that was Younghyun’s nickname during his high school years rock phase. 

 

 

“Come on, you know that I love you. And think about it this way; Where can you find a sugar daddy as attractive and hot as me? huh?”

 

 

He turns back and hugs the taller, burying his face in his chest,“You’re flattering yourself, stop.”

 

 

He then pretends to fall asleep, ignoring Jae’s sweet ‘Good night, love’.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Younghyun stays on watch for the whole night, doesn’t leave or blink an eye until he sees Sungjin leaving in the early morning hours, probably going to work. He waits for him to drive out of sight before he takes any step in the direction of the house. 

And as if in a dream, when the door opens, he finds himself standing face to face with no other than Park Jaehyung. The man Younghyun has never stopped loving. It’s amazing how he still doesn’t look his age. If anything, he looks younger, with his round spectacles and hair a messy mop of soft blond. He’s still as gorgeous as ever. Brian uses all of his resolves not to throw himself at him, hug him tight, feel his heartbeat against his chest and have a taste of his lips once more. He misses him so damn much. 

 

But he doesn’t, can’t. Because he’s lost the right to do that. He sees it in Jae’s tough expression, his accusing eyes. The taller doesn’t even seem shocked to see him again, as if he’s expecting him.   

 

“What do you want?” he asks, voice dripping cold. He’s never spoken in that tone with Younghyun. The latter ignores the tug in his heart. 

 

“Talk. I want to talk. Please.” 
 

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

 

Jae’s about to close the door but Younghyun blocks it with his whole body, “Five minutes is all I’m asking for. Hear me out and I’ll leave afterwards.” 

 

He’d go on his knees if that what it'll take for Jae to listen to him. Fortunately, Jae gives in and lets him in. “Five minutes right? Then I don’t want to see your face ever again.”

 

“Right.” he tries not to sound broken, but how can’t he.

 

Jae’s gaze is piercing through his soul, challenging him to speak. Weird enough, he doesn’t know where to start. How is he supposed to clear everything in just five minutes? There’s too much to talk about. 

 

“Then I’ll go straight to the point-”

 

“-Please do.”

 

“I’m sorry. About everything. I’m not asking you to forgive me, but that’s the least I can do for you, after everything. So I’m really sorry.”

 

Jae chuckles humorlessly, “What are you even sorry about?” his tone is sarcastic when he adds, “About treating me like trash? About playing with my feelings? Or maybe about cheating on me? Believe me, that’s no big deal. I’m used to you stepping on my heart. It doesn’t affect me anymore.”

 

 

His doubts were true. Jae did see him that night, and misunderstood it, “I didn’t cheat on you!” he protests.

 

“No you didn’t. You were just kissing someone else. On the bed.” there’s bitterness in Jae's tone, although he tries hard to mask it. So Younghyun tries to clarify it. He needs to reassure Jae that he didn’t cheat on him. 

 

“You’re misunderstanding. I was drunk. We were drunk, and Jaebum was just comforting me. He did kiss me, but I pushed him away. I swear to God I’ve never cheated on you Jae. I could never do that to you.”

 

“No. You only did worse.”

 

And that's the harsh truth. What Younghyun has done was far worse than cheating. When he meets Jae’s gaze, he sees the pain and scars still reflected in his eyes. 

 

 

“Jae-” the taller's expression rends him speechless. 

 

 

And suddenly everything is covered by a thick curtain of indifference, as Jae tears gaze away, “Whatever. You didn’t cheat on me. I forgive you. End of story. Can you leave now?! Your time is up.”

 

There’s no ounce of compassion in his voice, so Younghyun dejectedly leaves. He didn’t expect asking for forgiveness to be easy, yet, he can’t help but feel discouraged. The only bright side of the whole situation, is that he had found Jae. Even if the latter doesn’t seem ready to be in his presence for more than five minutes, he doesn’t blame him anyways. He’s hurt him more than enough.

 

 

 

 

Three years ago

 

 

He’s been seeing red since his talk with the loan shark. He’s paced his apartment hundreds of times, waiting for his boyfriend to come home. As soon as Jae steps in, he launches at him and grabs him by his shirt’s collar. Even if he’s shorter than him, he’s immobilized him.

 

 

“Bri what’s wr-”

 

 

“-Why did you do it?” he grits at him accusingly.  

 

 

“Do what?” Jae asks back cluelessly.

 

 

“I’ve just met the loan shark,” realization washes over his boyfriend’s face, “I don’t need to finish, right? You know what you’ve done.”

 

 

“Do you have to get this worked out because of it?”  

 

 

Jae’s comment tips him over the edge and he punches him. Hard.

 

 

“What’s wrong with you?!” the taller yells, hand over his bleeding nose, “Can’t you hear me out first?”

 

 

“Maybe if you’ve told me first, before doing it.”

 

 

“Would’ve you let me?” 

 

 

Younghyun stays shut.

 

 

“See? You wouldn’t have let me and I’d have to watch you overwork yourself to death.”

 

 

“Stop being overdramatic.”

 

 

“Am I though? You have classes in the morning, a job in the afternoon and another during the night. When do you sleep or eat? You look like a walking corpse and you’ve collapsed twice last week. I can’t let you ruin yourself and do nothing about it.”

 

And Jae does sound genuinily worried about him, has been for weeks. Younghyun is still angry though.“So you decided to act behind my back and leave me in the dark, like usual. But guess what? I’ve never asked for your help nor money!”

 

“I’m your BOYFRIEND for God’s sake! Can’t I care about you? Take care of you? Can’t you just accept my help for once? Without overthinking it?”

 

Younghyun ignores Jae’s plea, “I’ll think about it as a debt. I’ll pay you back.” He then walks out of the apartment.

 

 

 

-

 

 

Brian doesn’t leave him alone. Everyday, after Sungjin leaves to work, he comes over. He brings him coffee and confections from his favorite coffee shop, still remembers all of Jae’s special orders. He sticks a little post it on every cup of coffee, an apology written on it and leaves them at his doorstep. 

Jae can see that he’s trying hard. So he keeps reminding himself that’It’s too late,’ , ‘He should’ve done it a long time ago.’  and 'You're over him'.

 

But in reality, Younghyun is making him waver once more, and Jae can’t help but hate him more. He hates every memory he had with him, doesn’t want to remember them anymore, doesn’t want to see him anymore. He hates that he can’t forget him, that the sight of him weakens all of his resolves.

Jae really wants to hate him, but he can’t. Because during all of his living years, no one had ever made him experience such strong sensations as Younghyun did. No one had made feel as loved as Younghyun did. No one had broke his heart like Younghyun did. 

 

So he hates him even more, because deep down, and after everything, he still loves him.

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Three years ago

 

His relationship with Brian has been taking a bad turn since his uncle’s visit. It obviously made him uncomfortable, just like Jae had expected it to do. Brian’s family was financially managing. But things worsened after his parents died in a car accident. Younghyun was left with a big debt to pay, and the money his relatives send him every now and then was barely enough to cover his education's expenses. After graduating high school, he's spent a whole year working like a dog just to collect money for college, and he still have a fixed part-time job for his regular expenses. 

 

 

Jae has sensed Younghyun’s financial crisis since the first time he stepped foot in his apartment. Not only was it minuscule, but minimal as well, almost deserted if not for the most extreme necessities. He then had learned about the loan shark that was always breathing down his boyfriend’s neck whenever he missed a paying date. That’s what had discouraged him the most. He couldn’t just tell him that his family’s wealth is almost limitless when he’s struggling to make ends meet. So he had ignored it, tried to discreetly help, without hurting Younghyun’s pride. That’s the main reason he’s almost moved in with his boyfriend. 

 

 

He started by filling the kitchen with food, because ‘I have late night cravings’ , ‘you can’t live on takeouts’ and ‘I love cooking for you’. He made sure that Brian eats healthy and always has some homemade food stocked in the fridge, or snacks in the cabinets. Plus, watching his boyfriend’s content expression after tasting his cooking was so satisfying. 

Other necessities came in the most natural ways, Jae slipping them one by one every time he went grocery shopping. Brian would roll his eyes hard whenever he came home with a couple items, not knowing the real reason behind them. 

Little by little, Younghyun’s apartment became a more convenient living space, cozy and comfortable, and Jae loves it more than his own spacey apartment. Even his lover looked way happier.

 

 

But then, his uncle’s visit happened. And ever since, Brian’s behavior towards him changed, especially when it came to money. He refuses to let Jae do the shopping anymore, or pay for anything for him. He became very calculative that it annoyed Jae. What annoyed him more was that he couldn’t do anything about it. 

 

 

Expenses started accumulating on Brian and one job wasn’t enough anymore, so he took another one. A night shift on top of that. Everyday, he leaves early for classes, doesn’t come back till dawn to catch a few hours of sleep to keep him functioning. He barely touches the food Jae cooks anymore, or food in general. The sleep deprivation, plus the lack of nutrition and exhaustion affects his health and mood gravely. They barely see each other anymore, and during the few minutes Jae steals form his busy days, Brian looks as if he’s forced to talk to him. It concerns the taller as much as it hurts him. So, his decision to meet up with the loan shark and pay Younghyun’s debt, is not a rush one, and he doesn’t regret it. Because he’s done it for his lover’s sake.  

 

He expects Brian to cool down in few days, but it’s worse than it has been in the last year. He’s more enclosed on himself and more reserved than ever. He doesn’t answer Jae’s calls anymore, doesn’t text back. Unless Jae goes to his apartment, or invites him over, Brian doesn’t reach for him first anymore. And their conversations are mostly Jae talking about his day or random stuff, and when he asks, Brians’ answers are brief and vague. Even though he's dropped his second part-time job, he still comes back home late at night, mostly drunk and smelling like other men’s perfume.

 

It’s not even a push and pull anymore. Just push. Younghyun had built four high walls around himself and prevented Jae from coming through. Every try to penetrate them, a new brick is added.

 

Jae tries staying away, testing how long it will take until Brian calls him. He end sup testing how long he can last away from his boyfriend. At first two days, then four, then a week, then two. And it’s always him giving up first. He can’t stop himself from running back to Brian, making love to him, hugging him to sleep and telling him he loves him. 

Then, he realizes that Younghyun didn’t build the walls around himself, but around Jae, enclosing him there. He can’t break free even if he wants to.

 

Sungjin warns him, tells him to break up, to give up on their relationship, but he can’t. His heart and mind are telling him to keep trying, to stay. And he does. The rewards he gets in return are very little, but they mean a lot for him. They tell him that Brian still loves him. They give him hope.

 

So maybe Brian says the most hurtful things whenever they fight, but he still clings to him and hugs him tightly whenever they’re in close proximity. He may only greet him by a simple indifferent ‘You’re back’ every time he comes back after disappearing for days, yet, he still kisses him back, with fervor, every kiss feeling like their first. He may not reply to Jae’s ‘I love you’s anymore, but he still look at him in the most loving way whenever they’re making love. 

All those little signs asserted him that Brian still loves him. The problem lays with Brian’s pride that’s been hurt. Jae hopes time will heal it. He’s willing to wait.

All he’s got is time anyways.

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

Younghyun doesn’t lose hope, tries to stay optimist, no matter how many times Jae has kicked him out by now. He finally gets what it feels like to be the only one trying among two. He really has ed up. He promises himself that if Jae gives him another chance, he’ll redeem for all his wrong doings, will pamper him with the love he deserves and be a better lover. 

 

So just like he’s been doing for the last three weeks, he waits until Sungjin leaves before ringing the door’s bell, usual treats in hand. Jae’s reaction is the exact same, a deep sigh and an eye roll, except, he takes the coffee and the paper bag form Brian, and doesn’t close the door in his face. The taller is not in his pajamas, he notices. He locks the door and walks aways sipping on the coffee. Brian follows him like an obedient puppy.

 

“Are you going out?” he asks dumbly, because that’s obviously what Jae’s doing. “Can I come with you?”

 

The blond ignores him, which is both bad and good. At least he lets him walk with him, and silently listens to him talk freely about the weather, his friends, his part time job and his coworkers. He does his best to never stop talking.

 

“Why did you drop out?” 

 

The question startle him, especially since it’s coming from Jae. The latter avoids his gaze and doesn’t stop walking, even when Brian does. 

 

“I couldn’t afford it anymore,” he answers once he catches with him.

 

For a split second, he swears he can see the concern on the other’s face when he asks, “And the scholarship?”

 

“My grades worsened so they didn’t give it to me,” he admits shamefully. He doesn’t want Jae to know how he’s been living after he’s left him, what kind of failure he’s been. He has disappointed him enough before.

However, Jae’s expression softens, even though he still refuses to look at him. Younghyun smiles fondly. His ex has a heart of gold and that something will never change, no matter what s like Brian does to him. 

They walk, or more he follows Jae around, for more than thirty minutes. It’s a fact that the blond only takes long walks when he’s distressed, and Younghyun is concerned. High probably, he's the cause behind all that stress. He's glad that by the time they reach the mall, Jae looks more relaxed than earlier. Silently, he does some shopping, never replying to Brian’s comments but taking them into consideration whenever choosing an item, and Brian can’t stop grinning. He’s thrown to the seventh sky when Jae stops for ice cream, buys a vanilla cone for himself and offers him a chocolate one. 

 

Although the other is still unresponsive, he keeps on talking happily, while eating his ice-cream. They’re in the video games section when they come face to face with Sungjin, out of all people. And he’s not alone.

 

 

“Younghyun!” His friend greets him with his usual boxy smile. 

 

“Wonpil.” He mutters, unable to reply with the same enthusiasm. Not when the other is linking hands with none other but Park Sungjin.

 

Unexpectedly, the latter doesn’t seem that concerned with the fact that Wonpil and Younghyun know each other, or that Younghyun is with Jae. Instead, his eyes are moving crazily between Jae and Wonpil. A distressed ‘Hyung’ is all that he says. That’s all what Younghyun needs to hear to know that something is very wrong. Since when did Sungjin call his brother ‘hyung’?  

 

The oldest on the other hand, is oblivious to his brother’s sign. But then, he and Wonpil notices each other, and there’s recognition on both of their faces.

 

“Woon-ah?” Jae frowns in confusion. His gaze moves to Sungjin in question.

 

As for Wonpil, he points a finger at Jae screaming, “Oh! YOU!” with eyes and mouth open wide. Before he adds anything else, Sungjin puts a hand over his mouth and drags him away. 

 

 

There’s a long silence afterwards, Brian trying hard to understand what just happened. Jae himself is still in shock. 

 

“Do you know him?” the blond asks once he has recovered. 

 

“Wonpil? We’re kind of friends. He’s Dowoon’s roommate. You do remember Dowoon, right?”

 

A small smile forms on Jae’s lips. He used to adore Dowoon and called him ‘the only decent friend Brian got’. 

 

“You seemed to know Wonpil,” he comments, curious at their reaction, both of them, “He recognized you as well.”

 

“I think I’ve met him before.” he curtly replies, as if Brian can’t detect the lie, even though Jae is a very, very good liar. He makes notes to himself to ask Wonpil later. 

 

“I need to go somewhere. See you later.” Jae abruptly leaves without giving him the chance to say goodbye. 

 

Brian doesn’t mind much though, because Jae just said he’ll see him later. He holds to that promise.

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Two years ago

 

 

The Council has sent them a notice. In a month, they have to rotate to Spain. Time is slipping away and Jae is still waiting for the chance to tell Brian. The latter doesn’t make it easier. He’s always busy or unavailable. The shortest conversations they have always end up with a fight and with one of them walking away, usually Brian. 

 

 

“You’re not serious, are you?” was Sungjin’s reaction when he has announced that he wanted to reveal the truth to Brian,“Next thing you’re going to tell me that you chose him as your person.” 

 

 

Jae stays silent, which is more than enough for his brother to understand his intention. The council, after witnessing too many drama because of immortals falling for mortals, has given each immortal the chance to choose just one person to drink from The Fountain of Life, thus become immortals. It’s not even forcefully a partner, since many immortals date each others, just like Jae’s parents. They’re both immortals, so Jae’s mom had chosen a spoilt cat to enjoy such a privilege, while his father chose Sungjin. And Jae thinks of choosing Brian, if the latter accepts of course. He hopes he does.

 

 

“I love Younghyun. I’m sure of my decision.” 

 

In his life, Jae's never been as certain about something as he's about his feelings for Younghyun. He loves the latter too much and can't imagine a life without him. He believes that they're going through a phase and that as long as they love each other, they'll be able to go through any problem. Together.

 

 

“It’s not you that I’m doubting.” Sungjin’s reply is expected, but Jae chooses to ignore it.

 

 

“I trust him.” he asserts, because he really does.

 

Days pass by in a flash as Jae’s trying hard to get Brian’s attention for more than five minutes, and it’s suddenly the d-day. As always, Sungjin has done most of the packing, while Jae has spent the whole day trying to get hold of Younghyun. There’s merely a few hours left before their late night flight, three tickets already booked and waiting. Jae, for the fifth time that day, ends up going back to Younghyun’s apartment, hoping he’s back. 

 

 

'It’s not you that I’m doubting.' Sungjin’s words ring in is ears as he watches Younghyun, his boyfriend, sitting on his bed, kissing another man. And that’s the slap that wakes him up, make him see the whole, real picture.

 

He doesn’t care if the noise he’s made leaving had alerted the two of his presence. Nothing can make him stay now. He’s thought that after living this long, he’s experienced all kind of intense emotions. But no, what he’s feeling right now is totally new. He feels like someone’s just took his heart out of his chest, threw it to the ground and kept smashing it with a hammer until it turned to red mush. Ruined. Beyond repair. 

 

Sungjin is waiting at him restlessly, their bags already loaded in the car. 

 

“Let’s go. Let’s leave.” he snatches the car’s keys and is out of the door before his brother gets to react. Sungjin doesn’t ask question, even when Jae almost gets them into an accident, thrice. 

 

He only beaks down when they step in their new house in Madrid. Sungjin still doesn’t push him to speak, until he’s ready. 

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

The Council asks them for their progress. Fortunately, or unfortunately -Jae still can’t decide-, Wonpil has decided to drop his thesis, so Sungjin sends them back a report. Now all they’re waiting for is the order to go back to Madrid, which will come in a few days. All they’ve got left is a week or so in Seoul. 

 

 

“You should talk to him. Don’t leave again like that.” 

 

 

His attention moves form the book in his hands to Sungjin. He wasn’t reading, just staring at the pages, mind drifting far away from home. It’s been like that for days. He’s confused and doesn’t know what to do anymore. Younghyun is still as persistent as ever, coming back every day. Yet, Jae can’t allow himself to follow fake hopes anymore.

 

 

“What difference will it make?” He wonders, because really, there’s none. So what if Younghyun still loves him? He’s leaving for good this time, won’t see him ever again. And what if he follows his heart once more? What guarantee is there for him that Younghyun won’t hurt him like he did before? 

 

“Just, don’t repeat the same mistake twice.”

 

And Sungjin’s advice is on point. If there’s anything he truly regrets, is that he left without notice, didn’t give Younghyun the chance to clear things. He should’ve ended it clearly and for once. Maybe that’s what he needs to do this time.

 

“How are things with Wonpil though?” he asks, not for the purpose of changing topics but more out of care for his brother, “How’s he taking the whole immortal stuff?"

 

At the mention of the name, Sungjin’s whole face literally glows, “Better than you’d ever think. He’s full of surprises.” 

 

His smile is contagious because Jae finds himself smiling as well.

 

The joyful expression doesn't last, the glow going as fast as it came. “I still need to tell him about… you know… Him.” the youngest says in distress.

 

“If he takes that part well, then I’ll ask him ‘the question’.”  

 

Jae can’t help the happiness that blooms inside his heart and hugs him tightly. “I’m glad you’ve finally found your true love. I’m sure Wonpil will understand. He really sound like a great guy.” He reassures, because out of the two, Sungjin is the one who deserves his happily ever after.

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

He knows for a fact that Brian still lives in the exact same apartment. He’s complained about the rent going up every year and hinted that he didn’t move away too, many times for Jae not to notice. So he chooses a time he’s sure the other will still be at work, and goes there. Jae wants to make the last visit that he didn’t get to make two years ago, although he’s not sure how things will ever turn out.

He opens the front door with a copy of the key that he never returned, nor threw away. And he’s hit with a wave of memories because the lock is not the only thing about the apartment that’s still the same. The living space looks exactly like it did two years ago. It’s still as little  and as clean as ever, but that’s not the sole reason. Traces of Jae living there are still as present as ever. Shoes he’s forgotten there are neatly organized on the shoes rack, pictures of him and Brian are still sticked to the fridge and almost every item he’s ever bought is still around.

When he enters the bedroom, his mind is flooded with the amount of beautiful moments he had with Younghyun in this small room, but then the memory of the other kissing someone else on the end comes to surface. He tries to be angry, especially when he sees that their picture’s frame is still on the night stand. It was a picture that Sungjin had snapped of them on one night of their first year as a couple. They were fondly looking at each other, small loving smiles on their lips and a little blush on their faces, and it came out so beautiful that Younghyun insisted to buy a frame for it and put it on the sole night stand in his bedroom. 

It was the perfect picture of two people in love, and Jae hates Brian for ruining it for him, for them. Because, just like him, Younghyun is visibly still not over him, didn’t move on yet. If he did, then why is every corner of the apartment is a reminder of his relationship with Jae? Why would Jae's clothes still be in his closet? Why would Jae's side of the bed look so untouched while Younghyun's a mess? Why would he still wear the band Jae has got him on Valentine’s day on his right ring finger? 

 

His heart is clenching painfully in his chest, and his tears start falling, but he can’t forgive Younghyun, not yet. 

 

He slips in the bed, inhaling Younghyun’s scent, a scent that he’s missed so much it hurt. He buries himself in the sheets, hugs their picture to his chest and sets free all of his tears and sobs, until he drift to sleep.

 

 

-

 

 

 

Two years ago 

 

 

Brian pushes Jaebum away, noise from outside the room breaking him from his shock. “Don’t.”

 

He may be sad and intoxicated, but any touch that it’s not Jae’s feels so foreign, so wrong. 

 

“I’m sorry. I just went with the moment,” Jaebum stands up, “I’m leaving. Will you be okay by yourself?” 
 

Younghyun nods uncertainly. How he wishes for Jae to come tonight. 

 

Jaebum helps him get to the living room and pours him a glass of water.

 

“Why don’t you wash up first?”

 

He nods, “It’s getting late. You leave. I can take care of the rest myself.” 

 

“Good night  Bri.” Jaebum gives him a small tap before he fitches his jacket and walks to the front door.

 

“You didn’t change the lock yet?” he points at the door which is open ajar, “I’ve locked it earlier but it’s wide open now. You really should get a new one.” 

 

He doesn’t leave the chance for Brian to tell him that Jae has changed it last week, that without a key, that only him and Jae have copies of, the door won’t open. Does that mean that Jae came earlier? Then why did he leave? 

His brain brings to the surface the blurry memory of Jaebum kissing him, and a noise waking him up. Could it be…? 

 

Younghyun ignores that thought and goes to sleep after a cold shower. His pride telling him that, so what? Even if Jae had witnessed the kiss, even if he’s angry because of it, he’ll come back, like every time. So he keeps that thought for the next days and then the next week and even for another. Jae doesn’t call, doesn’t even text him. But Brian can’t bring himself to care or even to worry. He’s used to Jae disappearing then coming back to him, like nothing happened. 

 

Except, he doesn’t, not even three weeks later, not even a month later. So Younghyun, for once, allows for his heart to take control and calls Jae. He knows something is very wrong when he gets the generic voice telling him that the number is no longer in service. When he asks for him at the college administration, they tell him that Jae had terminated his contract a month ago. He finally goes to his boyfriend’s house, knocks and knocks, in vain. It’s dark inside and the neighbors don’t know where the tenants had gone. One said he’s seen them loading luggage in their car, and that was the last time he’s seen them. 

 

 

For the first time since his parents’ death, he’s feeling lost, helpless, alone. He wants to blame Jae for not telling him, for leaving without a notice, but he can’t. Because he realizes it’s no one’s fault but his. Had he given Jae the chance to talk to him, had he showed Jae how much he loves him, he wouldn’t be standing in front of his house, all alone, lost and exasperated. 

 

When regret and guilt come crashing at him, it's way too late. He finally opens his eyes and realizes what a ty boyfriend he was. How he doesn’t deserve Jae. So yeah, maybe realizing that his boyfriend was wealthy had made him feel inferior and insecure, but it doesn’t justify his behavior towards Jae. The latter has never tried, not even for once show off his wealth. If not for that dinner with Mr. Park, Brian wouldn’t have known about it.  

Coming to think about it, Jae has been nothing but considerate to his situation, tried to help him in million different ways without hurting his pride. He’s done everything to make him forget about the social class difference, but Brian was the one too aware of it, always overthinking Jae’s behavior. 

Why couldn’t he see how much Jae valued his cheap gifts over all the ridiculously expensive ones he gets from his parents? Why didn’t he notice that Jae preferred wearing his necklace over all of his golden accessories?

Why were insults and harsh words so easy to utter? Why was it so hard to say words like ‘thank you’, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you’ to Jae? Why was pushing him away so easy, while holding him close so hard? 

 

Now, Jae’s gone, and he can’t apologize anymore, can’t thank him anymore, can’t tell him he loves him anymore. And he misses him like crazy. He finds shelter in Jae’s sweaters that are filling half of his closet. He’d wear one, then hugs Jae’s pillow and buries his face in it, trying to inhale as much of Jae’s scent as possible. He closes his eyes, tries to imagine Jae by his side, sleeping next to him. In the morning, he still prepares two cups of coffee, one for him and one for Jae. As weeks go by, he’s more sure that Jae won’t come back, but he still can’t let go, can’t move on and forget what he’s lost, what he’s let go. It’s the hope of meeting the taller blond again that keeps him moving. Their story didn’t end yet. 

Or so he hopes.

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

It’s unexpected.  There’s barely any changes in Jae’s behavior towards him. So the last thing he’s expected, is to find Jae. Asleep. In his bed. 

It was like walking in a beautiful dream of his deepest desires. But then he sees the dried tears on his cheeks, the frown on his forehead and the picture he’s hugging. And Younghyun is crying, once more. Because he had plenty of chances to appreciate what he had before. Falling asleep and waking up, every single day, to Jae’s ‘I love you’s, to his arms bringing him closer, to his soft kisses and smiles. That was his heaven, and he’d do anything to get it back. But late is the key word for his current situation.

 

Muffling his sobs, he crouches next to Jae’s sleeping form and softy brushes a few strands of stray hair away from his eyes. The touch seems to shake the taller out of sleep. At first, his eyes open slightly, and he smiles ever so slightly as he whispers Younghyun’s name. Younghyun starts to believe that he’s really in a dream, or he’s been sent back to the past. He caresses Jae’s cheek softly before leaning in and dropping a soft kiss on his lips. 

 

Suddenly he’s pushed away as Jae’s eyes open up so widely and he sits up at once. Jae still has the fastest reflex reactions Brian’s ever seen. He’s already out of the room before he had to react.

 

“Jae please wait!” he runs after him, “Let’s talk.”

 

The taller comes to a halt just a few steps away and turns around. His eyes are glassy but he doesn’t let the tears fall. Younghyun sees how hard it is for him as well. 

  

 

“What do you have to say?” Jae’s tone isn’t harsh nor demanding. It’s just a question.

 

“I’ll listen to whatever you have to say, since you’re not bottling it inside anymore. So talk.” 

 

 

Brian is taken back by the response he got. But opening up is the least he can do for Jae now.

 

“I was scared,” he starts hesitantly, “Our relationship happened too fast that thinking came too much later. When I realized that you were rich, I became scared. What if I was just a pass time and one day you’ll get bored and leave me? I feared that day, but I knew it was bound to happen. You were hiding a lot of things from me as well. It felt that you didn’t trust me enough to show me the real Jae. So I started pushing you away, preparing myself for the day you’ll realize that I’m worthless and start treating me like it. I could’d let my self get attached and then hurt. And without realizing it, I ended up being the Jae I feared you to turn to. I ended up being the one treating you like a worthless lover. And I regret it, every single day. I regret everything I’ve done to you. And I’m sorry,” his voice breaks, his throat clogging with sobs.

 

Through his tear-blurred eyes, he sees the way Jae averts his gaze from him, trying as hard to stop the tears. Younghyun tries to swallow the lump in his throat so he could say what he’s always wanted to say.  “I want you to know that I really, sincerely loved you. I loved you so much and never stopped loving you, not even when you weren’t around.”

A scoff comes from Jae’s lips, his expression is hard when he looks at him in the eyes again.

 

“Don’t fool yourself. If you really did love me, you would have put me before your pride, at least once. For you, I’ve stepped on my heart and pride hundreds of times, but what have you done for me? You used my love and my feelings and played with them as you pleased. If you did really love me, you would’ve considered how I felt every time you pushed me away? But have you done that?”

 

“Jae pl-”

 

“I know you didn’t. All you cared about was yourself and your pride, never me.”  The accusations flying from Jae’s mouth pierces through his heart like hundreds of blades. He’s underestimated how much he’s hurt his ex in expanse of protecting himself. He was selfish.  

 

“I was the foolish one, believing that you loved me, that you were willing to be my partner for life.”

 

The words are merely a whisper of regret, but Brian hears them. He suddenly feels dizzy, the pain intensifying in his chest. How much had he screwed so far?

 

“You were going to propose?” he asks, just to make sure he didn’t mishear it.

 

“Propose? You have no idea,” there’s a drop in Jae’s demeanor, as if he’s just declared defeat after a long, hard war. “You said you wanted to know the real Jae. Well the real Jae is an immortal Younghyun! A nine-hundred years old immortal who’s going to live for another nine hundred years at least.”

 

The words resonate in the silence that follows, alongside with Jae’s harsh breathing. He takes a few calming intakes of air before he adds, “That’s the secret I was hiding from you. You can ask your friend Wonpil about it, if you don’t believe me.” 

 

Younghyun is thunderstruck, doesn’t know how to react to what he’s just heard. He’s seen Jae’s lips moving, heard his words, but couldn’t really process them. After waiting for too long for a response, and not getting one, Jae starts laughing humorlessly. 

 

“Sungjin was right. I was stupid to think that you’re the one.” His laughter stops abruptly. “Goodbye Younghyun.” 

 

This time, Jae leaves the key and the necklace behind.

 

 

 

-
 

 

 

Sungjin doesn’t expect to find Younghyun in Wonpil’s living room, staring pensively at the hundreds of papers of Wonpil’s research, every page with a picture of Jae from a different era. His brother did tell him about their latest conversion, how he’s told Brian the truth. 

 

“He’s been staring at them for hours. Maybe you should talk to him.” Wonpil kisses his cheek to encourage him, then leaves them alone.

 

He hesitantly sits next to the youngest, who either didn’t notice him or is just ignoring him. “Do you believe him now?” 

 

A nod.

 

“And what do you think?” 

 

No answer come from the youngest. Sungjin knows it must be very confusing and surreal for him, but they don’t have much time left. Younghyun needs to act before he loses his last chance.

 

“Younghyun,” he calls softly, “I’ve known Jae for the last six hundred years, so I know him more than anyone else, maybe even more than himself. He’s been reckless with everything —and believe me when I say everything— except for relationships. He doesn’t fool around like most immortals do, only dates whoever he feels attracted to. I’ve seen him date all kinds of people, but none of his relationships has ever lasted more than a year. ‘They’re not the one’ he’d say before ending it. I’ve seen him coming up with all kind of excuses to break up, but with you, he’s found all kind of excuses to stay with you, as long as he could.”

 

The youngest finally moves his gaze to Sungjin. He’s crying.

 

“We may live for almost forever, but we can choose one single person to be our life partner. And you’re the first person ever that Jae has considered sharing his immortality with, but you’ve made it sound like the stupidest decision he’s ever made.”

 

Younghyun is trying hard to stifle his sobs. All he can feel is guilt, regret and shame at the moment.

 

“We’re leaving in two days. And I doubt you’d be alive by the time we come back.” 

 

The news down on him like a lightning bolt. He still can’t believe that Jae’s back and now he’s already going to lose him again. Suddenly, he’s back to the night Jae has left.

 

“So I’m asking you, please, stop confusing Jae. If you don’t love him then stop chasing him, stop giving him false hopes. You’re caused him enough pain to last an eternity. And believe me when I say that time can’t heal everything.”

 

Sungjin’s face is holding hundreds of years of pain, as if he’s speaking from experience. Is that what Jae will look like when he’ll talk about Younghyun hundreds of years in the future? Will it still hurt till then? Will he still remember him, remember them?

 

“If you really love him, than prove it. This really is your last chance.” 

 

“Shall we leave now?” Wonpil emerges from his room, a big smile on his face. 

 

Sungjin taps his shoulder amicably before moving to his boyfriend’s side, pecking him softly then taking his hand and guiding him out of the apartment. 

 

A wave of nostalgia hits Brian. There was a time where he and Jae had looked at each other with the same amount of love. There was a time where they were each other’s happiness, until he’s ruined it all. Until he became too greedy and prideful. Jae’s feelings towards him never wavered nor changed, but he kept suspecting it, kept testing it until he’s lost it. 

The shock he experienced after Jae has told him that he's an immortal was completely natural. He couldn't really believe it until he's seen Wonpil's collection and heard what he's got to say. Two thoughts had been consumming him ever since. The first is that he doesn't really care about the immortal part. His love for Jae is unchangeable. The second is, Jae's love for him is limitless, doubtless, breakless. While he, a mortal with too limited time, took their relationship for granted and didn't value their time together, Jae, an immortal, cherished every second he spent with him as if it's the last. Younghyun can't imagine someone loving him as much as Jae did, and hopefully still does.

 

Younghyun promises himself that he won't let him go easily.

 

 

 

-
 

 

 

 

Leaving this time turns out to be much more harder than any other time. Brian doesn’t come back after Jae’s shocking revelation, disappointing him even more. The heartbreak is more consuming that two years ago. Because before, Younghyun didn’t treat him well, while this time, he’s been trying so hard to gain Jae’s forgiveness. Jae foolishly believed his intentions and let him break him for a second time. 

The first heartbreak was Younghyun’s fault, but this time it’s his, because he’s allowed himself to be fooled. 

There’s no much packing to do and they reach the airport too early for their flight. After checking in, Sungjin and Wonpil take residence on a bench and keep alternating from hugging, to whispering sweet words to each other, to kissing. Wonpil is still finishing stuff in Seoul and won’t join them until weeks later, so the couple is saying goodbye for now. They’ve caught a lot of people’s attention but they don’t seem to care. Jae kind of envies the way they get lost in each other’s eyes and forget everyone around them as they kiss. It’s the longest farewell Jae’s ever seen, and if it were anyone else, he would’ve rolled his eyes a limitless amount of time by now. But, this is his little brother, Sungjin. Someone who’s been suffering for too long all by himself, someone who deserves the happiness and love he has found with Wonpil. 

 

Jae gets too emotional watching the two that he doesn’t notice a more attention catching thing. Then suddenly, a big teddy bear blocks his line of vision. Or more like a person in a teddy bear costume, holding a big ‘Hi’ sign, who’s now waving at him. Jae, albeit confused, waves back. The bear removes the sign, and there’s another one behind it with a ‘Hello’ written on it. 

 

“Hello to you too.” The taller says, amused. The bear doesn’t stop, and start changing signs, one after another, each sign has a different message on it.

 

‘Do you know how beautiful you are?’

 

He smiles, thankful to the teddy bear.

 

‘Do you know that for me, you’re the sun, moon and stars?’

 

The words are so sweet he feels his heart flutter. If only a certain person has said them to him. 

 

‘Do you know how thankful I am towards you?’

 

He raises an eyebrow in question. Why would the bear be thankful towards him?

 

‘Do you know how sorry I am?’

 

Now he’s getting more confused.

 

‘Do you know how much I love you?’

 

For some reason, Jae still thinks that this is some kind of campaign or an event. He realizes that it’s not, when he sees the next signs.

 

‘You probably don’t.’

 

‘Cause I never told you so when I had the chance.’

 

‘But I’ll say it now, even if it’s too late.’

 

‘Park Jaehyung,’

 

At the sight of his name, he finally gets who’s inside the costume.

 

‘You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, inside and out.’

 

‘And you mean the world to me.’

 

‘Thank you for loving me.’

 

‘I’m sorry, for everything.’

 

‘No matter where you are,’

 

‘Who you are,’

 

‘Or what you are,’

 

‘I love you,’

 

‘And I will always do,’

 

‘As long as forever goes, and beyond.’

 

 

There’s hot tears running down Jae’s face, but he can’t decide whether they are sad or happy ones. The hurt and heartbreak lasted for too long to vanish away in a second, but he forgives Younghyun, as stupid as that sounds. And he can’t believe that the youngest is standing right in front of him at the moment. He crosses the few steps that are separating them, and with shaking fingers, he takes the bear’s head off. His breath hitches when he’s greeted with Brian’s nervous smile. Not believing his eyes, he lifts his hands and uses his fingertips to brush his cheeks. The touch is like a press button for Brian’s tears. 

 

“I-I’m sorry I’m late.” 

 

“You’re really here.” Jae presses his forehead to Brian’s and closes his eyes, releasing a shuddering sigh. 

 

Younghyun’s thumbs wipe away the tears from Jae’s cheeks, but they’re soon replaced with new ones, “Why are you crying?” 

 

Jae tilts his head to the back, leaving enough space between them so they could stare into each others eyes. His fingers are still caressing Brian’s face tenderly. “I thought I won’t get to see you again.” 

 

“I’m not that easy to get rid of.” he says, grinning. 

 

Jae mirrors his expression, the tears finally stopping. “Me neither.” 

 

They both chuckle joyfully, then stare lovingly at each other before sharing a sweet short kiss. It’s like a greeting after being away for too long, but it’s not enough to redeem for the years of yearning. So they kiss again, more intensely, more passionately than they’ve ever done. They smile when they hear the cheers around them, without breaking away from each other’s lips. Only when the need for air arises they do end it, faces flushed and breathing erratic. 

The magical moment though, ends when they call for Jae’s flight. His eyes widen in destress. He doesn’t want to go just after he’s reconciled with Younghyun. The latter seems to sense his dilemma, as he smiles warmly and takes out a ticket from his pocket.

 

“You know, you have the most amazing brother ever.” 

 

The taller is confused for a moment, until he sees the destination and passenger name on the ticket. “How?” he asks in disbelief, looking at Sungjin’s smug face.

 

“I told you, being older doesn’t make you smarter than-” 

 

He huffs, unable to continue as Jae knocks all breath out of him, crashing him into a hug. “Thank you baby brother. You’re the best.”

 

Sungjin fondly taps his back, ignoring the nickname, “As long as you’re happy.” 

 

Jae meets Younghyun's eyes and brreaks into a content smile, mirroring the youngest's expression.

 

“I definitely am.” 

 

THE END ????

 

---

So? What do you think? If you liked it, or not (please don't hate on it), tell me in the comments section =D

 

The original request was a Jaehyungparkian one shot, but (SURPRISE SURPRISE!!)  I couldn't resist writing a second chapter for my dearest Sungjin and Wonpil. Now don't expect me to update so soon, because according to the current assignments rate, I'll update by next summer (jk jk) but yeah, it will take time. So see you till then :***