Lixu and Guixian were childhood friends. Their mothers were childhood best friends and all they could remember was being always together. They did everything together.

Their relationship was simple, until Lixu got his first boyfriend at the age of 16. Guixian knew that his best friend was gay, but he never really had a problem with it, until one day he caught Lixu making out with his boyfriend at the school’s bathroom. He didn’t like seeing his best friend being touched like that. At first, he thought it was because he felt awkward, but soon he realized that it was all because of his jealousy. Guixian was jealous that it was this random guy and not him kissing and touching Lixu.

But Guixian brushed those feelings of his away, since he didn’t want to destroy their friendship with his random confusion.

.

That until Guixian’s 21^st birthday. Both of them had gotten a bit more drunk than they should have and Guixian’s lips soon had found their way towards Lixu’s. It all had started with a kiss, until they had already found their way towards Guixian’s dorm room, clothes scattered everywhere and bodies were dancing sensually on the bed; creating a beautiful mess of moans and words of adoration and pure need.

Guixian knew, even in his intoxicated state, that making love to Lixu had been the most beautiful moment in his life.

.

That had been the start of a beautiful relationship; until Guixian started feeling uneasy.

.

“Let’s end this” Guixian had said, while avoiding Lixu’s eyes by looking on the floor.

“Why? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, I just think we should stop seeing each other and just be friends”

Lixu wanted to scream.

“Why? Are you ashamed of being with me?”

Guixian had avoided his eyes and ignored his question.

“Okay. Let’s end this.”

.

Lixu for a while had completely disappeared from his life. In the beginning he had frantically tried to get in touch with him, to tell him that he was sorry, but Lixu had never picked up the phone.

Guixian was now 35. He was married and had a 3 year old son named Henry and was the CEO of his own company.

.

“Guixian, you have a call!” Zhoumi, his secretary and good friend told him from the next room.

“Pass it on!”

…

“Hello? Guixian speaking”

“How have you been?”

Guixian froze.

“L-lixu?”

He wanted to cry.

“It’s been a while, Guixian”

“I-I’ve missed you, L-lixu…” His voice was trembling.

“Let’s meet again”

.

That’s how they got in touch again; in a more that just casual way. Guixian felt guilty about cheating on his wife, but every ounce of guilt would disappear every time Lixu would moan out his name and beg him to him harder.

It was all now a vicious cycle.

.

It has been now a whole year, since they had started seeing each other again.

It had been one of their regular sessions, when Guixian had stood up from the bed and started getting dressed.

“It’s time to leave, huh?” Lixu had mumbled.

“Yeah…”

“How’s your wife?”

Guixian ignored the question and zipped his pants.

“Your son?”

“Lixu, please…”

Lixu took a deep breath.

“If I could give you a son, would you have married me?”

Guixian had stayed silent.

“Is that a ‘no’?” Lixu asked nonchalantly.

“Lixu, please stop this…”

“I get it. Have a safe ride back home…”

Guixian had left that night, but what he didn’t know is that he would have regretted, leaving him alone that night, forever.

.

“You have a call from your mom, Guixian, should I pass it on now or will you call her later?”

“Pass it on! I don’t have that much work right now anyways…”

…

“Guixian?” Her voice was trembling. He knew she was crying.

“What’s wrong?”

“He’s dead…” Her voice came out as a mere whisper.

“Who’s dead?”

“L-lixu… Xiaoyue called me this morning and told me that they found his body in the bathtub. He drowned himself…”

Guixian’s whole world froze and he broke down in tears.

…

 ‘I should have told him that I loved him. I should have told him that I didn’t care about him not being able to give me a child. I should have told him that I would have married him no matter what. I should have told him that I shouldn’t have broken up with him all those years ago. I should have stayed to hold him tight—’

But all Guixian was, was a coward. He had always been a coward.

A scream.

(no)

Another scream.

(I killed him)

[…]

Kyuhyun woke up in tears.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Ryeowook asked him in worry, still half asleep.

“I had the same nightmare…” Kyuhyun mumbled, hugging Ryeowook’s body tightly against his bare chest.

“The one about our previous lives?”

Kyuhyun simply nodded.

Ryeowook smiled weakly and leaned in to kiss Kyuhyun’s lips softly; tasting the salty tears on them.

“Hey, don’t cry… We are nothing like them, Kyu. We won’t make the same mistakes they did. They never fought for their love, but we did…”

Kyuhyun kissed him back softly.

“I know, but I am scared of losing you…” Kyuhyun mumbled against his lips.

Ryeowook chuckled.

“You won’t, you silly. We are stuck together in this group of madmen anyways…”

Kyuhyun laughed.

“I still remember Jungsu giving us a lecture after he caught us and Heechul screaming ‘I knew it’ for one hour straight…” Kyuhyun confessed, before he leaned in to capture Ryeowook’s lips with his own again.

“You know, we must have done something right in our past lives to deserve this second chance…” Ryeowook said after they broke off the kiss.

“I guess we must have, since having you here with me is everything I could ever ask for in life…”

“I love you, Kyu. Never doubt that.”

“I love you too. You are my whole life, Ryeongu…”

.