Final

The first kiss I wanted

Things between them always were easy and natural, without an ounce of awkwardness.

Maybe because of their similar circumstances. Both Korean and at some point they got sent into the United States due to financial state. Jiwon moved out when he was just a toddler and spent the majority of his youth there, meanwhile Donghyuk got out as a high school student, when his mom had a hard time paying the fees and bills alone. And it was all just a coincidence that they met at a music festival, Donghyuk visiting it with his mom, Jiwon with his dad and brother. They spotted each other through the crowd easily, and the younger good naturedly approached him. To be honest, the rest of it was just history.

During their time together they grew closer and closer, and things evolved on their own. The first kiss they shared was a different memory depending which of them you ask.

To Donghyuk, it was the sweetest and best moment of is life. As Jiwon hugged his waist gently and pulled him against his torso, leaning against the brick walls of the school building, hiding from their teasing friends. When he looked up, the older was directly staring into his eyes with an expression so gentle it almost melted Donghyuk, noses bumping together clumsily as their lips met in a shy and butterfly-like press.

But if you ask Jiwon, he messed up. He messed up big time. It wasn’t how he planned their first kiss. He wanted to confess before he did anything. But as the younger was panting quietly, trying to mask the sounds so they remain undiscovered, Jiwon was overwhelmed with love. And stopping too late, their first kiss was now done. He wanted to kick himself... But as Donghyuk buried his head into his neck, he didn’t regret it that much anymore.

The idea of moving out to Korea was also something that came easily at one fine morning when they were lightheaded and full of big dreams. Their last year at high school, so many opportunities, so little time. One thing was for sure: they wanted to return to Korea, and do so together. Jiwon was planning on building a career as an underground rapper, and Donghyuk wanted to get a job while at university.

Maybe it was a bit too idealistic, but they were certain they could make it work, with sacrifices. They got the support from their parents, and so, not long after finishing high school, they were in Seoul, in their new apartment. It was small for two, the paint already falling off, the furnitures old and not their style, but it was theirs. And they have reached a milestone in their life, no matter how far the goal was.

They made love on that night for the very first time. And the light of the next morning made the tiny apartment seem cozy and lovely, giving out the vibe of a family of two.

But the excitement died down probably as soon as reality set foot into their life. They were too tan, too American-raised, too everyhing for the conservative setting they wanted to settle in. And meanwhile Jiwon’s appearence and mentality soon got him friends, Donghyuk struggled. It wasn’t high school anymore where he was the student council president and a sweet guy with helpful nature. No. He was a clumsy freshman who wanted to learn dance with a body not made for that dream. Or at least that was what the others said. Thighs to fat, body not toned enough, and knowledge lacking. He knew they were probably just mean or jealous, but hearing the same rude remarks day by day and only one person reassuring him wasn’t helpful. And he couldn’t rely on his boyfriend for every single thing. Jiwon struggled on his own enough.

He was talented, and got recognized, but the others who chased fame as well, didn’t like how someone new could just get it. But they didn’t see how hard he worked. Bobby often stayed up all night, totally disregarding his love for sleep so he could always show something new, and prove his haters wrong.

Leaving their families behind already was hard enough for both of them, depsite the fact that they never expressed it for the other. It was the time they had to stay strong for the both of them, even if it meant a lot of pretending. And probably exhaustion was the reason that the usually observative Jiwon didn’t notice the first signs.

Only when after weeks, Donghyuk refused to take off his shirt to sleep, and barely tolerated his boyfriend to embrace him. After that, he noticed the skipped meals, caught him taking pills and going to the gym despite their low income.

And that’s when their friends came into the picture.

One day, the usually lonely and quiet Donghyuk wasn’t sitting alone in the cafe, but had three other guys with him. Jiwon approached rather suspiciously, until his boyfriend smiled at him and waved him closer.

"Hyung! Come, I want you to meet these guys!"

After so many weeks Donghyuk finally smiled sincerely, and that was enough for Jiwon to trust those new guys.

As he learned, one of them was a freshman as well, called Hanbin, and two guys who were a year ahead of them, Jinhwan and Yunhyeong. Him and Hanbin found the same frequency quickly, clicked like two puzzle pieces. But Jiwon noticed Yunhyeong’s subtle glances. He seemed... jealous.

After discussing it with Jinhwan, the older informed him that, exactly, both of them had a crush on the other but refused to confess. Which drove him nuts.

If it wasn’t for Yunhyeong, he had said, I wouldn’t even think about approaching that duckling. He works in a flower shop, for the love of God!

He stuck out his tongue when Jiwon fell off of his chair from laughing too hard.

The friendship between the five of them was the reason Donghyuk finally found himself and learned to ignore the toxic people around him. And he improved in his job as well, along with Jiwon who finally started earning money.

Now, being able to send some money home for his mother made the younger happy, and less homesick. He cried a little when he discovered that Jiwon sent his first payment to their parents back in America.

The next year was even better, another two guys joined their group, and meanwhile Bobby was hilariously awkward around Junhwe, he liked the guy a lot and when he found out his crush on Jinhwan, the bro code came into effect, and with Hanbin, they planned all kinds of situations to get them together. After many failed attempts, Jinhwan simply stuffed a piece of paper with his number on it into Junhwe’s mouth, begging him to never again talk to his sister about him.

And Chanwoo, their youngest... The reincarnation of Satan with a bit of angelic sparkle in him which showed from time to time, when the chocoball wasn’t torturing Yunhyeong in one way or another. He was reluctant and shy to join at first, but thanks to Donghyuk, he got the courage to do so. This way, their ”parents”, Yunhyeong and Hanbin had another child to pamper. It was funny how quickly they got together and sank into the old-married-couple state after Hanbin confessed with a bouquet he made at a competition.

Jiwon sometimes envied them and felt the urge to deepen his relationship with Donghyuk. Make it more... stable.

Fast forward in time, it was their last year at university, and he finally was able to live up to his dream. Unlike their first kiss, this was planned and even so, instead of hurrying, he tried to delay it.

Seoul held a classical music festival in Hongdae, and it couldn’t get any more perfect. His childhood home, his past meets his possible future. He just hoped that everything would work out.

He watched those hips sway and sway and sway delicately to the music played, a drink discreetly held in one hand, other hand mimicking the instruments’ rhythm, each finger dancing on their own.

That was the benefit of dating a street dance major.

The younger seemed to enjoy himself in the crowd, the light music brightening his mood. Jiwon took a million pictures already but he didn’t feel like they could capture the beauty of the moment. He decided to join in, probably it would calm his tingling nerves. He grabbed the thin waist and started swaying, matching with his little boyfriend, just enjoying the inner peace he felt.

Donghyuk smiled sweetly at him, eyes shining in the middle of so many bright, colorful lights. The stars could hide in shame, Jiwon decided. They have been through so much together, and managed to do so without bigger arguments or hurting each other. Probably they just became stronger than they were, and helped the other grow stronger as well. A relationship like this is unfortunately so rare, and if anything, Jiwon wanted Donghyuk to know how much he meant to him. And that he always will be the number one priority in his life, no matter what happens.

The thought made his vision blurry and his eyes wet and itchy. He took the papercup from Donghyuk and set it down. Donghyuk seemed almost oblivious, maybe a bit concerned over the fact that Jiwon was tearing up.

The moment he kneeled down, the emotions bundled in his throat choked him, a sob almost breaking through his tightly closed lips. After a bit of fidgeting, he pulled out the small, velvety box that he held onto for hours, hidden by his pocket. As he opened his mouth, and the box, a couple of fireworks shot into the sky. Donghyuk didn’t hear the question, but there was no need for it. He said yes, wet eyes sparking. Bobby slid the ring on his finger and embraced him tightly. The hold was warm and secure, and this was what they needed. They shared their first kiss under the brightly lit night sky as an engaged couple, and Jiwon realized: this was the first kiss he had planned all along.

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iamandie #1
Chapter 1: sweet and loving it! thanks..