The smell of alcohol and sweat were strong in the room, the house was full. Bodies were dancing from side to side, the music were something without meaningful lyrics but with a cool beat that made teenagers bodies jump around. Some you could see that were already in another state of craziness, beverages were around the tables and surfaces everywhere in the house.

A young boy was just looking around lazily, drinking his beer, leaning against the kitchen counter, from there he could see part of the kitchen and almost all living room, and to be honest, here the behavior of his classmates and friends got his a little bit amused.

Im Jaebum, eighteen years old, was accustomed to this type of environment, this kind of weird wild parties. After all, it wasn’t uncommon to savage teenagers to party hard like that, especially when some parent took business trips. Today’s party was hosted on Junsu’s house.

When Jaebum received the invite on his Facebook, he was not surprised at least, earlier that day Junsu had asked him to bring some alcohol, especially vodka. Jaebum liked to go out in this parties, the feeling he got every time was amazing, his best friend, Jinyoung, didn’t like.  Jinyoung didn’t approve Jaebum going to this gathers, but he knew that his best friend would come either way: he says this is bad for his health or he doesn’t say anything at all. His parents on the other hand just didn’t care, he could burn his house and them would be pretty chill.

His mother was always traveling to fashion shows and his father a worst case, he would see him like, twice a month? During good times, maybe for times, when his father remembered he had a family and a son. Most of the times in Jaebum’s house, there were just him and Jinyoung, sometimes his friends from other grades, some younger, some older.

Jaebum stood there looking around, finding Yugyeom and Bambam doing some sort of weird beer pong. Yugyeom was already shirtless, Bambam was shouting something. He didn’t care enough to listen to it, so whatever, they are fifteen each, they knew how to take care of themselves.

He thought of calling Jinyoung, just to say how the party was boring and would be better if he was there, but his action didn’t happen.

“JB! Ma man!”

Looking behind him to see who had called, he smiled seeing his close friend, Mark Tuan, getting close.

“Sup’ Mark?! Enjoying the party?” Jaebum saw the smaller male was carrying two cups.

“Pretty much. But now I need to find Jae…”  Mark said without letting his smile fall. “He asked me more of this pinkish thing.” He brought one of the cups to his nose. “It smells like strawberries, that’s why he liked it.”

Jaebum laughed. Mark mumbled something and left before the taller could say something. Finishing his own cup, Jaebum let his now empty cup on the counter and decided to walk along the house, maybe find some group playing card.

Tidying his leather jacket up he started to go out of the room. It was hot, yes, but in this crazy place he could lose it, Bambam would be so mad if that happened, after all, he had personally bought it as a present. When he said to Jinyoung that Bambam had helped him to choose his outfit, the smaller laughed saying something about Bambam’s style being tacky, anyways, he liked it very much even if he was sweating.

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“Bam, I’m not going to wear makeup. The pants are ok, but makeup isn’t.” Jaebum was sitting on his bed looking the younger getting his small makeup bag from his backpack.

“Jaebum-hyung, I think you are handsome? Yes, I do. But we could let you more handsome with just a little bit of eyeliner and highlight.” Bambam said happily, looking from his hyung to Jinyoung, who was sitting next to Jaebum on the bed reading a book, he made some comments but was not really his thing.

“Jinnie, what do you think?” Bambam asked looking for support.

“Ah, Bummie, he’s right. It’s just makeup, right?” Jinyoung replied smiling to the younger one and then to his best friend.

 

“I told you!” Bambam said. “Jinnie-hyung also think we can make you the most handsome guy in that party!”

“Totally agree”

“Ok.” Jaebum finally gave in. “Just keep it light…”

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Walking around the house was a bit difficult for Jaebum, being a little tipsy in a big house full of hallways was hard. On his way he, around three people tried to kiss him, maybe five? He doesn’t remember, he just knew that he kissed them all. Just a kiss won’t kill anyone.

Wondering if his beer was mixed up with another thing he found himself seeing the house, the walls and the bodies dancing around, maybe he was not just tipsy. At this point, he decided that he needed to sit, and quickly.

Jaebum wasn’t the normal teen to get wasted with just beer, well, maybe he was.

Taking in the place he arrived at the end of the hallway, he saw himself at the pool. He could see some couples kissing in some dark places and people dancing. Junsu was here, inside the pool, shirtless trying to be y to some drunk girls that were sitting around the pool edge.

 

Finally, he could get at one of the empty sunbeds. After sitting down his dizziness calmed a little bit, he felt his phone buzzing, signaling that a message had arrived. Slower than normal he got his phone to answer it. Jinyoung sent him a text asking if he would take long to come back and if everything was alright.

Smiling softly, and the soberest he could, he recorded and voice message telling the younger that he wouldn’t take long and would come back before breakfast. And something about tomorrow being Saturday and staying with his best friend for the whole weekend, especially the younger taking care of his hangover. Jinyoung just had the weekend to hang out with him, during the week he was full of extra clubs activities, and that took a lot of his time. His father didn’t help too, but anyways.

He sends the message and didn’t wait for a reply. Putting his phone away a person got close to where he was.

“Hyung~” That was Jackson's voice. Other of his friend, younger too, they were together in some subjects, they got close because of Mark and Jinyoung, who liked the Chinese guy too much for his liking. Deep down he also liked him, no one in their sane state of mind would hate him.

“Jacks~ What’s up?” Jaebum answered as his world started to spin a little bit again.

“I’m drunk but well I guess.” The blonde said laughing. “Actually I want to ask you something, so that’s amazing that I found you, cus’ you know this party is full and stuff…”

“Just shot it, Jacks.” His drinks are getting him, now he was sure that his beer was mixed up with something.

“Do you know if Markie is interested in Jae?” Jackson asked with the strange mixture of seriousness and goofiness. “Are they going out?”

Jaebum was paying more attention now. That was unexpected, the Chinese must be really drunk to ask something like that. Seeing his friend waiting for his answer he took a deep breath.

“Well, I don’t know? I’m not that close to asking this thing..” He said calmly “Jae told me he likes someone but didn’t say who is it though..”

“Ah, yes…” Nodding his head, Jackson agreed. Smoothing down his hair just too messy it up again a little after. Just like Bambam, Jackson’s style was somewhat questionable. Was he wearing yellow pants and a white tee with a strange type of jacketed? Jaebum could tell to be honest, but thinking about it Bambam would be proud of his friend if he saw the outfit, after all, he could put off strange combinations neither Bambam could do it, and that said a whole lot.

“Why did you ask? Did you saw them kissing around?”

“Not really… Just… I mean…” Jackson was nervous, Jaebum could see not only on his words but his body was tensed up.” Let’s just say I’m feeling something for someone, but I still thinking about another person, and I’m may be feeling a little jealous about it…”

“And this someone is either Mark or Jae?”

“No…. Maybe?”

Jaebum could say something seemed off about this story, maybe the alcohol was blurring his train of thoughts, he didn’t ask further about it, just laughed.

“You and Youngjae? Really?”

“Why not?”

They laughed loud. Jackson as always overreacted laughing making people around look at them, not really minding everyone was drunk.

“Hyung, I’m glad I found you. I also need to ask you a favor and as my friend, you cannot say no!” Jackson said in a calmer voice looking to the older male sitting next to him.

“Well, you can convince me, after we get something to drink? I'm kinda thirsty..” Jabum said returning his smile.

Both boys entered the house again, Jabum swears he smelt weed coming from somewhere inside the bathroom, but at his side, Jackson was talking nonstop so he just ignored the smell and kept going to the kitchen.

“So, the thing that I need you…” Jackson started as soon he opened the fridge to get another beer.

“You don’t need to kill someone, right?”

“No, not for now....”

They laughed. The Chinese gave Jabum a beer too, the drink was too cold for his liking, his body was hot, everything was hot inside the house. The music kept playing in the background not helping Jaebum focus on what Jackson was talking about.

“Jacks, let’s go somewhere quieter.” Taking the blond’s arm, he started to go out. “Let’s find a bedroom to talk.”

 

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Mark was sitting on the balcony floor with Youngjae at his side, both drinking. The balcony was upstairs, where they could see everything happening around the pool. Mark was drinking beer calmly and Youngjae was with his sweet strawberry drink. The boys were lost in thoughts, Mark was paying attention to the people entering and leaving the house, the ones that were jumping into the pool, but something got his attention.  

Someone to be exact.

He saw Jackson getting near Jaebum, who was sitting on one of the sunbeds. He was so handsome with that yellow pants, just Jackson to wear something like that. Mark looked at Youngjae, the younger was in his own world, so he didn’t mind getting his full attention on the scene happening under him.

Looking as close as possible he could see them laughing. Jaebum was stunning with that full black outfit, probably Bambam had helped him, knowing the younger he would not choose something like that.

“Jae…” His voice sounded so raspy, probably from all the drinking and not really talking.

“Yes hyung~” Youngjae replied but not really looking at the older.   

“Do you think I should talk with Jacks?” Mark said tearing his gaze from the two boys by the pool, they were laughing, he felt a bit angry about it. To be honest, internally he was so jealous, Jackson was so much sometimes…

“Talk about what? You guys aren’t good?”

“He said we are, but we haven’t talked since THE talk.” Mark turned his full body to look at the younger friend. “You know, we were supposed to come here together but he just ignored my texts.”

If Mark didn’t have a tattoo he could swear the boy in front of him was like twelve or something.

“Hyung, you know how he is, better than me. He will come around when he feels that its time.”

“I know, I know… But I wanted to come with him.” Looking to the boys, Mark felt sadness.

“Mark hyung if it is bothering you so much, you should open everything to him. He has the right to know too.” Youngjae just looked right into the older’s eyes “ And, we both know next year he’ll leave…”

Mark didn’t know how to explain, but he felt an emptiness, losing his best friend so soon was a topic that they didn’t talk about. Thinking about it also brought up his rage, without filtering his words as soon as they left his mouth he regretted it.  

“And why don’t you do the same? Jaebum won’t leave you soon…”

Youngjae was frowning.

“It’s not so simple, and you know it.”

The silence grew. Mark let a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Yes… I know.. I’m sorry..”

“It’s ok…”

It wasn’t ok, both knew that for now, that’s enough. The boys sitting on the balcony stayed just like that, silenced.

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Mark was lost. Definitely lost. Junsu’s house wasn’t that big but for a drunk teenager, it was quite confusing to say at least, almost a labyrinth. After getting into two bedrooms, and almost stopping a couple, he could find himself in an empty bedroom.

Going straight to the bathroom attached, he entered and locked up the door. Splashing water on his face, he could see in the mirror how his cheeks were reddish, he looked tired. Yes, he truly was, either emotionally and physically. He thought about sending a message to Youngjae saying he’s going to take a while and asking forgiveness leaving him alone after that discussion but didn’t do it.

He sat on the bathroom floor, it was cold against his skin.

Why is so hard to like your best friend?

Looking at his cell phone on hand, the wallpaper flamed his heart. A picture of Jackson and him smiling in front of the cinema. He remembered this day. Jinyoung made them go with him to watch some boring cult movie. But this picture was just the two of them, smiling to the camera.

His heartbeat. He was not ready to lose this friendship, to lose his first love. How would he live without Jackson?

Tears were rolling down onto his face.

“I’m drunk, on a bathroom, crying for my one-sided love, I’m a mess…” He said to none in especial, he was alone after all.

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Jackson and Jaebum found another can of beer and an empty bedroom. Thank god, finally one! Jaebum entered and sat on the bed, feeling its softness under him. Jackson stoop by the door confirming that the door was indeed locked.

“Why this mystery to ask me a favor?” Jaebum asked taking a sip of his new beer.

Jackson sat on his side.

“So, to be honest, I just need to check something… And I don’t know who I could ask for this…”

Jaebum stayed silenced, asking for the Chinese keep going.

“I’m nervous…” He laughed. “ Ok, so… Can we kiss?”

“Wait, what?” Jaebum almost choked with his beer. What?

“Hyung, you heard me…”

“I know, but why? You said you liked another person?” Jaebum was truly shocked, this situation was making his head spin again.

“It’s out of the blue, but yeah, I’m talking about kissing, two mouths, tongues, spit this stuff. So are you in?” Jackson was never someone subtle. “ I want to kiss you…”

“I got it... But out of nowhere?” Jaebum was truly confused. Putting his beer down, he gave the blond one his full attention. Alcohol and the heat were making thinking hard for him.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I need to do this with someone and you are the perfect one to help me!”

“You know, I already like someone…” Jaebum said trying to find a reason to not do it. Jackson was looking desperate.

“Hyung~ You said you would help me…” Jackson was doing it. Ugh.

“I know I said that, but these make the situation different.”

“I saw you kissing other people today and you didn’t even talk with them.” Jackson shot low. “ Or did you?”

What? Jaebum was surprised about that. For a moment he didn’t know how to respond, maybe the beer he drank was too hot, he didn’t believe what he said after.

“Let’s suppose we kiss… This won’t mean anything right?”

Jaebum realizes how close Jackson’s face was from his when their breaths were mixing up. Both sitting side to side made thing a little awkward. So taking the lead, the blond held Jaebum’s face and connect their lips.

Jaebum let himself go. Kissing Jackson was different, there was something there he couldn’t put a finger on, maybe was the alcohol, maybe all the emotion both of them were holding in. Jaebum felt how soft the Chinese lips were, now he decided to take the lead.

Not taking long he was holding the younger down on the bed, they still kissing, right now deeper than before. Jaebum was lost in the moment.

Jackson was sobering up, at least he thought so, the kiss was bringing the dizziness back.

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Mark was calm. He decided to apologize to Youngjae for what he said and come back home. That’s enough from the party for today.

He didn’t check the time but guessed it was around three in the morning or something like that. His head hurt. Trying to tidy his hair not having the success he decided to leave the bathroom.

After opening the door he could see two boys kissing on the bed, trying to not make a sound and interrupt them he started to go to the door. These boys must be from his grade, during the week this gossip would get him and he would know who they were.

As he got close to the door he saw something familiar.

Those yellow pants.

“JACKSON!” He shouted going to get that guy from his best friend, not really minding stepping on the t-shirt on the floor.

The guy didn’t react, maybe from the shock of being pulled way while he was kissing someone. Mark was mad, he threw the guy onto the floor and started to hit him. Jackson was processing everything from the bed, laying down still.

“Son of a ” Mark was hitting the guy who was too drunk to really react too, he couldn’t believe it. Every hit he let a swear out.

“MARK” Jackson got his senses back. Getting up he tried to pull the red-head from Jaebum, who now started to get his senses too.

Jaebum now got the hold of the situation and was able to turn the places. Mark was under him receiving the punches Jaebum started to throw, more as a reflex than with the intention to hurt. Not really seeing where he hit Jaebum got some of the punches onto Mark’s face, who now was trying not to get so hurt.

Jaebum was heavier and bigger than himself.

Jackson managed to grab Jaebum and pull him away from Mark who lay on the floor, breathing deeply, his mouth was bleeding as well as a cut one of Jaebum's rings did on his cheek.

"Jaebum leave, get out of here! I'll talk to him," Jackson said pushing the bigger one out. Jaebum did not protest, just let himself be pushed out,  taking his shirt from the floor. He left the room, Jackson pushed him out saying:

"Call me. We're going to need to talk about today. "

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Jackson returned to the room, locking the door again as soon as Jaebum left. Mark was still lying on the floor, breathing deeply.

"Mark ..." The blond sat down next to him. "What was that?"

The red-head did not answer.

"Mark ..."

Jackson ran his hand lightly on the bruises Jaebum had made. The younger boy began to sob, though low, Mark could tell that he was crying, then took his hand that had been close to the cut of his cheek.

"Why are you crying? I caught it ... "He said quietly.

Still holding the blonde's hand, he rose slowly. His head was spinning, he could not say whether it was alcohol or the blows. Jaebum was very peaceful, but when he drank and got angry he could get very violent, he had seen this just twice during high school.

"You fool."

"I know, sorry."

"Why do you always do this when you see me with someone else, Mark ...?"

Mark did not respond, only brought his best friend's hand closer. Jackson was crying, and he did not want to hold back any emotion he felt.

"I’m sorry."

"How many times I will have to accept it ...."

Mark didn’t know what to say. Jackson wasn’t wrong, it was not the first time, it probably would not be the last. He always explained to Jackson that he should not be with some random stranger, but this time it would be different, their talk would include Jaebum

"Jack, forgive me. I lost my head. "

"I think we'd better go home. You need to see those bruises there, "Jackson said through sob ignoring what the other said.

The only thing Mark could do at the moment he did.

He pulled Jackson into his arms and let him cry there, as they always did when they were younger, and just as in those days, neither of them wished to get up.

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“Jaebum? What’s happening? Are you ok?”

“Jinnie” Jaebum answered he doesn’t remember why he called Jinyoung.

“Are you ok? You sound drunk…”  Jinyoung voice sounded worried even if it was raspy from sleep.

“I’m coming back.”

“Do you want me to pick you up?”

“No, I can drive.” Jaebum wasn’t so sure about it, but he would try. Jinyoung didn’t need to know about this too.

“Ok. Please be careful. I’m waiting.” Jinyoung said. Jaebum knew he was worried, he hated to make the other feel this way. He really needed to come back to his house.

Hanging up. He started the car, thinking about how he should listen to his Jinyoung more, he has warned him about this, he said Jaebum should have stayed with him.

He is coming back now, everything is going to be ok.

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Jackson had calmed down and was now sitting next to Mark. Both on the floor, leaning on the bed. Neither of them dared to say anything.

Mark knew that if he said anything he would sound too arrogant, and stupid, he had no justification for doing what he did. At least not one he could tell Jackson.

Jackson in the other hand wanted to open the game, wanted to be able to say everything he felt. But he was almost certain he would not have the answer he wanted. Mark could be a box of surprise when he wanted to.

"I think this is our destiny, isn’t it?"

"What?" Jackson said quietly.

"I do , and you forgive me" Mark side looked his friend who was still facing a fixed point in front of him.

"I think so." Jackson returned his gaze. "But that's what makes me love you."

"I love you too, Jack."

Jackson smiled, knew it was not the same love he felt. When they exchanged words, he could feel his heartbeat, no matter how hard he tried to contain it, he could not, Mark had a power over him that he couldn’t explain.

"I think we should leave?" Jackson broke the silence. "You can stay at home."

Mark didn’t reply, just followed the smaller one out of the room, and then out of the party, he would send a message to Youngjae later, his thoughts were not clear and his face was hurting.

Before they got into the car, Jackson texted a quick message. Mark guesses that it had been for Bambam and Yugyeom, since they came with Jackson, to be honest, he didn’t really think much. He just wanted sleep.

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Jaebum was lying on Jinyoung's bed when his cell phone vibrated indicating a new message.

Carefully not to wake the young man who was by his side, he unlocked the cell phone.

 

[From: Jacks]

We will talk later

I have some explanations to give you ...

Get well :)

 

Jaebum didn’t answer, nor would, not now. For one night he had had a lot of trouble, for an hour he would be enjoying the heat of being with his Jinnie, which, thank god, had not asked what happened just helped him clean everything up.

After all, if Jinyoung asked he, too, couldn’t explain.

None of the three knew exactly what was happening. Just that their hearts were messed up, and not just by alcohol, but also by their feelings. Before they faced the whole situation, they would have at least a moment to think each their way.

Jaebum then fell asleep tucked in the soft blankets of Jinyoung’s, getting comfortable with the heat coming from the body that cuddles up to his, forgetting at least for an hour that he had problems to be solved.

All of them had.

 

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Omnes una manet nox. = The night is waiting for us.