Do KyungSoo

« Hey Kyungie we’re here!” Sitting beside a really tall guy with a boyish look, a small blond guy with a cute face screamed loudly in the cafeteria, waving his hands to catch his friend’s attention.

“Channie and I didn’t wait for you to start eating, since you were way too long and we were so hungry! Where is your jerk of a boyfriend?”

The newly arrived guy, an even smaller boy with dark black hair et glasses took a seat beside his tall friend while sighing deeply.

“And you’re way too loud and you’re talking way too much for my liking Byun.”

“Yeah yeah, sorry.” The said Byun rolled his eyes, looking not sorry at all. “So, once again, why are you alone? Where is your boyfriend? JongIn is never late when it’s lunchtime.”

“First thing, speak lower. Second thing, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh my God Kyungsoo, come on! He is still with that stupid idea?” The blond one seemed scandalized.

“Stop yelling you ! In case you didn’t realize, the place is crowded and everyone can hear you.” The guy named Kyungsoo darkly glared at the other boy to make him shut his mouth.

“You shut up! You’re so mean, yelling at your bestfriend like that.”

“You’re not my bestfriend, JongIn is.”

“That ing joke has to come to an end! You and I both know that JongIn is way more than that, JongIn is your…

“His what?” A very handsome young man with sunkissed skin, dark eyes and a godlike body appeared behind the Byun guy and cut him suddenly, his voice sounded somehow like a warning.

The three friends turned around to look at JongIn for a second, before the tallest guy -named Chanyeol- and Kyungsoo started eating once again, both feeling and looking uncomfortable for different reasons. Baekhyun and JongIn, in the other hand, kept staring at each other as if it was some stare challenge before the latter finally gave up and took a seat beside Kyungsoo after a minute or two, and began eating whatever was in his plate. The tension in the air was as thick as a wall since they were all silent, Baekhyun still glaring at the tanned boy.

Wanting to loosen up the atmosphere, Chanyeol cleared his throat a little bit louder than necessary. It kinda worked because Baekhyun stopped looking at JongIn as if he was planning his death in his head to pay attention to his giant of a boyfriend.

“Yes?” He was still clearly annoyed.

“You’re not eating?”

“No, my food is too hot to eat” And that was totally not true, since it had been more than half an hour since they started eating.

“You’re hot too and I still eat you.”

Silence once again took place, before Baekhyun busted into giggles. Chanyeol was always like that, saying funny weird things in a very serious way. A smile bloomed on JongIn’s lips and even Kyungsoo sneered a little, internally thanking Chanyeol (but never voiced it, obviously).

“Please Yeol, stop saying things like that!”

‘You were not against it last ni-“ Baekhyun literally threw himself on his boyfriend to stop him from spreading out their private life.

“Gosh you’re so embarrassing sometimes!”

“Just sometimes?”

“All the time!”

“But baby…”

“Don’t baby me Park Chanyeol!”

JongIn and Kyungsoo shared an amused look at the dumb conversation still going on between their friends. They just ignored them and the taller boy leaned toward the other, looking at him as if he was the eighth wonder of the world.

“How are you? Classes went good?” He whispered softly. His eyes were shining like thousand stars and Kyungsoo found himself drowning into them. To him, JongIn was the most beautiful person on earth, the one he admired and loved the most.

“Good. You?” He answered after a while, JongIn still staring at his face with a soft smile.

“Same. You’re going to Chan’s house tonight, aren’t you? I can’t wait to be with you sweetheart.” JongIn was talking lower and lower at each second passed by, but Kyungsoo pretended not to notice anything. No need to get hurt once again.

“You’re with me right now.”

JongIn just sighted. “You know what I mean”

Yeah, unfortunately, he knew.

“yeah…”

As far as he remembered, Kyungsoo had always been in love with Kim JongIn. The boy had been his bestfriend since birth, and then he became his other half, his lover, his soulmate. He couldn’t forget about that summer day, how anxious he was when he told the boy he had spent his whole life with how he was in love with him. He also couldn’t forget the joy he felt when the sunkissed boy stated that he loved him too. He kissed him, hugged him, kept him between his arms, and Kyungsoo wished they could stay like that forever.

Kyungsoo removed his glasses from his nose and put them on the table beside his tray. He then ran his hand over his face, and started singing.

(Ed Sheeran – How would you feel : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZMZiBCRX4c )

You are the one boy
And you know that it's true
I'm feeling younger
Every time that I'm alone with you

We were sitting in a parked car
Stealing kisses in the front yard
We got questions we should not ask but

How would you feel, if I told you I loved you?
It's just something that I want to do
I'll be taking my time, spending my life
Falling deeper in love with you
So tell me that you love me too

In the summer, as the lilacs bloom
Love flows deeper than the river
Every moment that I spend with you
We were sat upon our best friend's roof
I had both of my arms round you
Watching the sunrise replace the moon

How would you feel, if I told you I loved you?
It's just something that I want to do
I'll be taking my time, spending my life
Falling deeper in love with you
So tell me that you love me too

We were sitting in a parked car
Stealing kisses in the front yard
We got questions we shouldn not ask

How would you feel, if I told you I loved you?
It's just something that I want to do
I'll be taking my time, spending my life
Falling deeper in love with you
So tell me that you love me too
Tell me that you love me too
Tell me that you love me too

But things never went as planned. And Kyungsoo got hurt.

Kim JongIn

JongIn knew he was hurting Kyungsoo. He knew he wasn’t being fair, and he knew that what he was asking his lover to do was difficult, but honestly the situation was not easy for him either. He still remembered that day, at the end of the summer, when he asked his boyfriend to pretend that they were not a couple but still bestfriends. And he will never forget the look of hurt and betrayal that was painted on the other’s face.

JongIn knew he was a coward, a huge one. But he just couldn’t do anything against that because he was too afraid. Afraid of judgment, of what people would think of him, his friends, his parents, his brother. It was not like he was ashamed of Kyungsoo, he could never because the guy was the love of his life, his soulmate, he was sure of that. No, he was ashamed of himself, for being gay, for not being the perfect guy he is in everyone’s mind. And he was even more ashamed of himself for putting Kyungsoo into this awful situation and for hurting him.

He just needed time. Time to accept. Time to heal. Time to prepare himself.

His lover was a very understanding boyfriend, so JongIn thought that he was somehow okay with the arrangement even if he was aware that he was deeply hurt by his actions. The smaller had never said a thing about that, still being the perfect partner he was, whereas he was an horrible one. Kyungsoo was loving, caring, considerate and he was never complaining.

Only God knew how JongIn hated himself. His grip on the steering wheel tightened as tears threatening to fall and he began his song.

(Ed Sheeran – Hearts don’t break around here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20pAJPNaAyw )

He is the sweetest thing that I know
You should see the way he holds me when the lights go low
Shakes my soul like a pot hole, every time
Took my heart upon a one way trip
Guess he went wandering off with it
Unlike most men I know
This one will bring it back whole
Daisies, daisies perched upon your forehead
Oh my baby, lately I know

That every night I'll kiss you you'll say in my ear
Oh we're in love aren't we?
Hands in your hair, fingers and thumbs baby
I feel safe when you're holding me near
Love the way that you conquer your fear
You know hearts don't break around here
Oh yeah yeah yeah , yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

He is the river flow in Orwell
And tin wind chimes used for doorbells
Fields and trees and his smell, fill my lungs
Spent my summer time beside her
And the rest of the year the same
He is the flint that sparks the lighter
And the fuel that will hold the flame
Oh roses roses laid upon your bed spread
Oh my, hold this, oh this, I know

That every night I'll kiss you you'll say in my ear
Oh we're in love aren't we?
Hands in your hair, fingers and thumbs baby
I feel safe when you're holding me near
Love the way that you conquer your fear
You know hearts don't break around here
Oh yeah yeah yeah

Well I found love in the inside
The arms of a man I know
He is the lighthouse in the night that will safely guide me home
And I'm not scared of passing over
Or the thought of growing old
'Cause from now until I go

Every night I'll kiss you you'll say in my ear
Oh we're in love aren't we?
Hands in your hair, fingers and thumbs baby
I feel safe when you're holding me near
Love the way that you conquer your fear
You know hearts don't break around here
Oh yeah yeah

Every night I'll kiss you you'll say in my ear
Oh we're in love aren't we?
Hands in your hair, fingers and thumbs baby
I feel safe when you're holding me near
Love the way that you conquer your fear
You know hearts don't break around here
Yeah yeah yeah
You know hearts don't break around here
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah

“JongIn, could you please stop daydreaming when you’re driving? I don’t want to die yet.” Kyungsoo’s voice surprised him and made him wide awake again. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he totally forgot he was driving.

“What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing important Soo, don’t worry.”

They were going at Chanyeol’s for their weekly night meeting, just watching some movies and eating pizza. Kyungsoo just hummed as an answer, and not so long after they parked the car in front of their friend’s house. JongIn took Kyungsoo’s hand between his since he didn’t mind it when they were far away from their university. The door flew open after a few knocks, revealing a sorry-looking Chanyeol but the two others didn’t seem to notice.

“I bring some beers!” JongIn exclaimed excitedly, and then put his arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders. “And I also bring a Kyungsoo!”

“Guys…” Chanyeol was looking hesitant and a bit uncomfortable. “The others are here…”

“The others?”

“Yeah sorry, I really didn’t know they would be coming…”

“Oh , for real?”

Chanyeol just nodded and JongIn panicked. His hands started sweating and his mind was already a mess.

“Eh JongIn, it’s nothing, we can just act like any other day.” Kyungsoo reassured his lover even if he was himself in pain.

“No Soo, I promised you…”

“I know, but it doesn’t matter, you couldn’t know they would be here.” He sent a not so sincere smile to JongIn, who sighted heavily before planted a sweet kiss on his boyfriend’s lips.

“You know I love you, right?” The taller whispered quietly in his ear.

“I’m still here in case you didn’t notice!”

The thing is, nobody but the ChanBaek couple knew about their relationship, even their other friends, even if they were a little bit suspicious sometimes. That’s why the current situation made JongIn feeling a bit unwell.

“Finally! We almost started without you!” Another small guy with brown hair exclaimed when the newly arrived guests entered the living room. Six young men, including Chanyeol and Baekhyun were seating on the sofa or were standing beside the bar, a drink in their hand.

“We didn’t know you would be here too hyung.” Yes, the brown haired guy was the main reason of why they were hiding their relationship to their other friends. Indeed, Kim Junmyeon was his name and he was JongIn’s older brother, and the latter was an even bigger coward when the family was involved.

Junmyeon, who preferred to be called Suho (only God knows why), shrugged and just continued the conversation he was having with JongDae and Minseok, two students in sociology in the same year as Junmyeon and who quickly became their friends too. JongIn took Kyungsoo’s hand and led the both of them to the second sofa where Sehun, a stylish tall guy with blond hair, was seating. JongIn grabbed a beer, opened it and gave it to his secret boyfriend without forgetting to also give him a paper towel because he knew that Kyungsoo was incapable of drinking properly on a can.

“Drink slowly.” He said to him with a smile before taking a beer for himself, completely oblivious of Sehun’s eyes following everything he did. Baekhyun arrived to talk about some things with his lover, so the tanned boy turned his body towards Sehun to engage a conversation with him, to finally notice his stare and his frown eyebrows. The blond then smirked, very weirdly in JongIn’s opinion.

“What?”

“Must be nice to have a boyfriend.” He was still smirking and JongIn let out a sight.

“For the last time Oh Sehun, Kyungsoo is not my boyfriend.” JongIn stated, trying to be as convincing as possible.

“You know… I didn’t mention anyone.”

JongIn facepalmed.