It's only when you're stuck inside a cramped closet with someone else that you realize how much you need to use the washroom.

And you kind of hate yourself for it. Not the washroom part-- but that it's the only thing you can think of at the moment.

" We can always pretend everything's alright. " he says, his tone calm, almost soothing, like a waterfall-- . Don't think about water, Leia.

You can barely lift your chin up to look at him without bumping his head along the way, so you just stare at his neck. He seems to feel anxious, with the way he swallows stress-saliva and tenses up his neck muscles. You could always just read his mind and make your life easier, but that'd go against the code you've set up between each other. Although the code did mention no touching either. I guess there's a first for everything.

" You're not doing a good job at pretending, though. " you finally respond, eyes still fixed on his neck. It's not that you're deliberately being negative, it's just-- you're just tired. You're exhausted of trying, of pretending, of being squeezed against his body. Your legs are cramping and you can't even massage them. Or move them. Or him.

" Sorry-- "

" --Shut up. "

There's an awkward silence that englobes the both of you for a while, maybe seconds, but it's hard for you to measure time when your bladder's about to explode and you can literally hear his heartbeats.

Your mind wanders as you try to forget your situation. You think of your friends, and how you miss them. You slowly close your eyes, leaning onto his chest; you do deserve even a tiny bit of comfort, come on. You can feel his breathing slow down, but. . .as much as you're enjoying the puffed up chest, you just- you just can't.

" You can stop trying to be so manly all the time, you know that. " you tell him. You just want him to be himself for once, but he was never the kind to let his guards down.

" Truth or dare? ", he responds back, completely ignoring your request.

" What? "

" Pick one, Leia. "

It has been such a long time since he's said your name, you almost giggle to yourself. Maybe you two should be stuck in dark closets more often, it seems to build character.

" I just want to feel normal, even once, before all of this ends. " he adds, and the mood plummets down again.

You weren't going to let him ruin your last moments so close to him, both physically and, well...

" Truth! " you let out, a bit too enthusiastically. You can feel his body try to move, and his heart picks up pace. Did he want dare? It's not like you could do much, in this tiny ing space.

" Did you ever hate me? "

Gosh, he was so good at ruining moods. You grumble, pushing your head against him- the only way of attacking, really. But you take a few minutes to think, because that was one loaded question, and considering you've known him for a long time-- years, there had to be some time where you did hate him. Oh. Yes, you remember now, and your tiny fists suddenly turn white from clenching so hard.

" That time you ate all of my food, the first time you came over. " you let out a small chuckle, hoping to brighten the mood a bit.

He does laugh, and you can't help but think about the last time this happened. He never was the one with the biggest sense of humor. There are a few minutes of silence, maybe he's waiting for your turn, but you decide to keep silent.

" Not even when I... ", his words are slow, almost slurred. His voice is hushed down, oh no.

" ...killed Taeyong's parents? ", he finally says, and you can almost feel your heart stopping.

Your eyes well up with tears, and you take deep breaths to try and shoo the feeling away. He can probably feel you tensing up and you hate yourself for that. Just the thought of Taeyong makes you feel sick, because you miss him so much. You wonder how he'd be today, and if things would be better if you'd be stuck with him instead in this goddamned closet, and if he'd ever forgive you. But you did say truth, and lying wasn't something you were used to doing anyway.

" No. ", you don't want to say more, but you know he's waiting for more.

" I'd never hate you for surviving-- "

" --you should've never let me out, Leia. " if this was his definition of feeling normal even once,...You want to punch him for saying that, oh he was lucky your hands were trapped in between your bodies, or else he was going to learn a few lessons the hard way.

You try to move around as much as you can, enough so you can finally lift your head up and look him in the eyes without punching him on the way up. You stare at him, and he's staring back, and you realize you've only seen him cry twice-- right now being the second time.

" Letting you out was the best thing that could've happened to us, Ten. "

And before he can say anything, you both hear men yelling on the other side of the closet, muffled voices that seem to get closer by the second. And it turns out that, the only thing you can think of when being stuck inside a cramped closet, is how much you'd love being held one last time.