This is the first time I'm feeling this way.

I don't crave food, I barely drink water, and I wake up very late in the day.

My life is a mess, even though on the outside it seems perfectly organized;

I just got a job recently at Target which is great since I live away from my parents. 

I'm performing at KCON's convention with my group of friends. 

I'm finally seeing SVT in real life.

I'm in a collegiate dance team whom I love.

Yet, even with all these things I still feel empty. 

I don't know what's happening and honestly I'm scared of the things that I could possibly do to myself.

I need help, but it's so hard when you know that the people closest to you will never listen to you.

I can't tell anyone I know of this because I'm scared of rejection and being a burden.

Hence, why I'm posting here. 

Writing is my only way out.

Strangers are my only way out. 

But maybe, this is just me overthinking.

Maybe it's even my fault I'm feeling this way.

I can't say for sure.

But all I know is that I'm not okay.