Baekhyun thinks his life .

Not that he’s some old man trying to survive life watching some ty tv show, getting mails from his mailbox, getting mad at a boy scout for insisting help, or trying to travel to Paradise Falls with his house. No, not really. Byun Baekhyun is on his 20s, studying he regrets choosing, procrastinating a stupid paper that he has to pass by tomorrow (later), and trying to stay awake at god knows what time just to study a 30-page reviewer.

Really, he’s just some ordinary, lazy, trying to survive college boy, thinking how his life just because he’s cramming again, and reevaluating his life choices.

He doesn’t regret going to his friend’s party though. Fun first, cry later. It was his friend’s 21st birthday party, and who was he to deny free drinks, some awfully made food, and the chance to finally get laid? Baekhyun would definitely not pass to that. So here he is, struggling to multitask while nursing a stupid hangover induced headache. Sure, he lives up to the quote, I put the “pro” in procrastinate. Because he admits that he’s the best in procrastinating (“I deserve an award!” he said, and his best friend protests, “I deserve an award.”). He manages to pass everything on time with a mark higher than what he expects, and he still aces his tests despite not having enough sleep (or no sleep at all). Yet here he is, questioning his decisions in life, and beating himself up for his poor perspective, thinking how he managed to up everything that he has to do, and has to look for more ways to finish them all before his 7 AM class starts.

Okay, maybe he does regret going to his friend’s party. Well, first, the food was really awful. He managed to throw up for three times in an hour. A ing world record for Byun Baekhyun. Next, he didn’t even have the chance to finally get laid, which actually made him feel disappointed because really, Baekhyun is a god in inviting someone to bed. He believes that he’s good at his flirting, and that he can bring someone home just by a simple Joey inspired line, How you doin’?. Not minding his friend’s judging stare and a mean comment about his amazing flirting skills (“Dude, your flirting ing . It’s like you’re an old man begging for a hump.”), he really thinks he’s the best in it -- he deserves an At Least You Tried medal. Lastly, all he got from the stupid (yet the time of his life) party was a headache, and a loss of money due to paying more because of vomiting inside the taxi after waking up from a nap.

So, really, Baekhyun thinks his life (at least for tonight). And his stupid headache is really becoming too severe, making him stop doing his work, hindering him from getting a much-needed sleep. Baekhyun massages his head, hoping that it would lessen the pain. It works for a while, but after a few minutes of sweet comfort, Baekhyun found himself rubbing the same spot to soothe the pain but it doesn’t work.

“ing hell,” Baekhyun mutters, closing his eyes. He looks at his phone, 2:50 AM, and tosses it onto his bed, realizing how late it was, yet still a little bit too early for him to sleep, and , his headache is really getting worse. He starts contemplating whether to go to a near drug store or just sleep the pain off. Then again, if he chooses the latter, he might end up sleeping and not doing anything at all. So, no matter how lazy he is, and how tiring it is to go to a drug store, he wills himself to stand up and find some cure for his headache.

Baekhyun looks for his hoodie, wears it, and places the hood on his head to (hopefully) cover his tired face, and messy hair. He checks his pajama’s pocket just to make sure he has the key. He makes his way to the door, carefully closing it to not disturb anyone who’s sleeping.

The trip to the drug store was short, given that it was only a few blocks away from the dormitories. It was a miracle for him to go there without fainting or sleeping on the streets. He even managed to go to a nearby convenience store to buy sausage (to munch while going back to his room), a few different flavored yogurts and a bag of chips (for future purposes). He buys water and immediately drinks the medicine, not minding whether it has side effects as long as the pain goes away.

He happily walks to his dorm while munching a not-so-good-yet-can-still-be-eaten sausage. He uses the stairs to help in waking himself up. He fishes out his keys from his pocket, and turns, finally near his floor. He plays with his key, throwing and catching it, but he suddenly drops it when the light from the stairs turns off. He hisses, muttering a few curses upon realizing that his phone is not with him so that he can turn on the flashlight. Baekhyun can’t exactly see anything, so he tries to roam his hands around to check if his keys are at his reach. Luckily, it was only a few inches away from him, and he managed to get it. He stood up, and sighed in relief when the lights came back. He was about to turn his head to pick up his bag of chips and check if he left something behind but stopped when he felt someone breathe at the back of his head, sending shiver down to his spine.

He doesn’t scream, he doesn’t try to look, nor does he try to turn his head and get his bag of chips. He did what a sane person would do at times like these.

He ran for his dear life.

He almost tripped, but that didn’t stop him from hurriedly running towards his door, screaming, “THERE’S A ING GHOST IN THIS GODDAMN TERRITORY!”, not caring whether he woke someone up or not.

“, , ,” Baekhyun mutters, trying to stop himself from shaking to be able to successfully open his door. He sees on his peripheral vision a white figure, and he shakes while inserting his key, shouts a “DON’T COME NEAR ME!” loudly, trying to shoo away the figure, and he almost breaks his own door when he finally opened it, slamming it really hard, hoping that it doesn’t go inside his room. He plops on his bed and catches his own breath.

He’s shaking, and he doesn’t think he’s in the right mind to finish reviewing for his test. He hugs his pillow, looking for some warmth and comfort, whispering nonsense, I know you’re here for me, baby. and a, I’m so glad to be alive right now. and just hugging the pillow as if preventing it to go away.

Baekhyun briefly wonders whether he was just hallucinating, and if it’s just because of the medicine he took. I’m so not gonna drink that ing medicine again, Baekhyun thought. Thankfully, he calms down, and finally stops shaking. He contemplates whether or not would he continue whatever he was doing but decided that it, I’ll sleep, because really, he deserves it after having an encounter with a ghost, running for his life, being thankful to all the existing gods out there for being alive, and having a good cuddle with his favorite pillow.

He whispers, thank you so much for being there for me, to his pillow and hugs it, thankful for the warmth it gives, and he ends up wondering why the hell he is talking to his pillow as if it’s his own lover.

He really needs to sleep.

 

———

 

Luckily for Baekhyun, the encounter with a ghost didn’t happen again (at least for the few hours that Baekhyun slept). He briefly wonders whether it was really a ghost or if it’s just someone else up on 3 AM. It would make sense if it was the latter since the one he is staying at is a dormitory for students. But how would one explain the turning off of light, and a white figure that moves too slow for someone who’s up? Baekhyun shakes his head and tries not to think about it.

He checks his watch and it’s already quarter to 7, and he’s about to be late for his first class. He slaps his own forehead, realizing that he didn’t study for the test. “ you, stupid ghost.” he curses. He closes his door and proceeds to go to the stairs. He smiles, ready for a day of no shame, and ghost-free stairs. He looks beside him and sees two students walking in the same direction as his. He nods at them, and continues, but stops when he overhears what they were talking about.

“...didn’t get to sleep well last night.” one of them says, yawning. He mentally hoped that it was because of a ghost too, so he listens closely, trying to confirm his hopeful assumption.

“Same. I heard someone screaming last night. God, that was the worst. It literally made me spill my coffee on my shirt, making me awake at god knows what time without even making me drink the coffee and made me pissed the whole night.” he hears the other one reply. Baekhyun visibly stiffens at this and tries to act as normal as possible (which was hard since he looks like a ing statue with the way he stiffened).

“I heard that too. Maybe it was some drunk, stupid student. I hope it never happens again. It was really disturbing. I’d prefer to listen to moans, instead of hearing some gay screaming that there’s a ghost in this ing territory sounding like a pig being chased or something.”

“You have weird preferences,” the other one says, and Baekhyun kind of agrees, “But same.”

Nonetheless, it brings embarrassment to Baekhyun. It’s true that he’s that someone gay screaming but he does not sound like a pig that’s being chased when he’s screaming -- well, he rarely screams but that doesn’t mean he sounds like one. He looks down, covers his face with his one hand, and brisk walks towards the stairs, hoping that it wouldn’t look as if he’s the one who was screaming past midnight. What they do not know won’t hurt them, he thought.

He gets slightly pushed to the side by someone, and he was ready to reprimand the person for doing so but the person seems to be in hurry, judging with the way he mutters a quick and soft, sorry, and runs towards the stairs. Baekhyun hopes that the person would not trip and have a safe flight down the stairs.

Seeing another student hurrying, Baekhyun curses and remembers that he’s almost late for class. He considers skipping it to avoid the fate of having a low score, but he remembers how much of a hassle would it be to talk to the professor, and how hard it was to come up with a decent and an acceptable excuse just to take another exam. He sighs. He has no choice but to accept his fate, and take the test with zero-knowledge about it.

It’s gonna be a first.

 

———

 

“You look like ,” Sehun, his friend, says while placing a few biscuits in front of him.

“Ugh, I know. You don’t have to rub it on my face.” Baekhyun replies, accepting the biscuits offered to him, mumbling a soft thank you.

Sehun looks at him from head to toe, obviously judging his friend’s horrendous appearance, “Really, Baekhyun, you look like . Did you even sleep last night?”

“More like that’s all I ever did.” Baekhyun replies, groaning, “Last night was the worst. Why’d you even think it was smart to schedule a ing party on a Sunday? Pretty sure most of your guests have a morning class the next day.”

“What? It’s a Sunday. You’re supposed to have fun, not studying anything.” Sehun says, snorting.

“You have a weird philosophy in life.”

“Well, at least you got some sleep.” Sehun says, sighing, and rubbing his eyes, hoping it would help him stay awake, “Party ended at 3 AM, and god, how much I wanted to sleep that night. I wanted to come to your room to check on you, but no one was answering.”

Baekhyun reddens, remembering the awful experience of being out at such time, and screaming bloody murder, “I bought some medicines. And I told you, you should’ve considered being roommates again.”

“Well, I didn’t know you were out. And why are we talking about being roommates again? I told you, there isn’t enough space for my materials if I choose to share a room with someone.” Sehun said and Baekhyun scoffs, thinking that his friend is just giving an excuse for him to have his own room, “Anyway, I was on the stairs when suddenly the lights went off. I didn’t mind it since it happened most of the time, at least on my experience.”

“What? So it’s not something unusual? Like, you didn’t think our dormitory is haunted or I don’t know, packed with ghosts?” Baekhyun asks, eyes wide. Sehun looks away, scared with the way his friend is acting.

“Jesus, Baekhyun, our dormitory is definitely not haunted. I already complained about it to the owner and he said that the light really has a problem, and he’s already finding someone to fix it.” Sehun explains while Baekhyun stares at him, “Anyway, back to my story. I was near my floor when I heard someone screaming -- which sounded like a pig that’s being chased, I tell you --”

“I do not sound like a pig that’s being chased!” Baekhyun says, standing up, “Do you guys even know what a pig being chased sounds like?!”

Sehun furrows his eyebrows, “That was you? The one who sounds like a pig that’s being chased?”

“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I DO NOT SOUND LIKE A PIG THAT’S BEING CHASED!” Baekhyun shouts, earning him a few glares from those around him.

 

“Calm the down, Baekhyun!” Sehun said, forcing him to sit down. Baekhyun huffs in annoyance, and Sehun rolls his eyes to how childish his friend is.

“There was a ghost!” Baekhyun says, exasperated, “I mean, it looked like one in my peripheral vision. But I don’t care, I still think it’s a ghost.”

“I don’t think it was a ghost,” Sehun said, “And I’m pretty sure that’s what everyone thinks. You, screaming that there’s a ghost in our, I quote, goddamn territory, only made people pissed --- no, no, you have to believe me on this,” he says when he sees Baekhyun ready to defend himself, “That was what everyone was talking about a while ago. They were talking about how you sounded like a pig that’s being chased, while some thought it was some drunk, stupid student who took drugs and was definitely high. I’m pretty sure it’s both, but knowing you, you’d agree more on the latter.”

“It wasn’t my hallucination. I’m sure of it.” Baekhyun lies, remembering that he did consider that maybe it was just his hallucination, and that it was just because of the medicine he bought. But Sehun doesn’t need to know that he considered that. “And I wasn’t high. I don’t even have any form of illegal stuff in my room.”

“Pretty sure that it was your hallucination,” Sehun said, ignoring the part about being high and stuff, and remembered that Baekhyun had a test this morning so he asks, “Anyways, how was your test?”

“Bad. Really bad. Didn’t get to study because of the ghost encounter.” Baekhyun said and sighed, remembering how tragic it was that he didn’t get to answer the questions correctly.

“That , man.” Sehun said, offering him a pat on his back.

“Don’t know why our professor opt to have an essay type of test, . My head was all over the place. I tried not thinking about the encounter, but huh, it was hard.” he complained, eyes burning as if he wants to cry upon the thought of not being able to answer a simple question, and instead remembering The Worst Night of His Life.

“Well, as long as you didn’t write THERE’S A ING GHOST IN THIS GODDAMN TERRITORY! in caps, I’m pretty sure you’ll have a decent grade.” Sehun teases.

“ you.”

 

———

 

It was Sunday again, and so far so good. Everything is going according to plan. He’s done with almost everything that he has to do, and it’s only past 1 AM. For Baekhyun, it was an improvement. The earliest he slept on a Sunday was probably 2 AM, so really, this one’s a feat. His eyes says it’s time to sleep, but his body disagrees. body clock, Baekhyun thought as he opens his copies of movies he wants to rewatch. Since his body doesn’t want to sleep yet, a movie would probably help in lulling him. He clicks on Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them because really, what’s not to love in a movie full of magic (like the whole Harry Potter series)?

He checks his list first to confirm if he still has anything else to do. Everything’s been ticked off, and Baekhyun smiles triumphantly. He puts on his earphones and opens his bag of chips to fully enjoy the movie. At the back of his mind, he knows he’ll regret not sleeping early when he had the chance, but right now his only concern is how amazing Newt Scamander’s suitcase is and wonders if he could get one online. Huh.

Halfway into the movie, Baekhyun finds himself drifting. He pauses the movie for a while, places the leftover chips on his table, and wipes his hands with a towel to remove all the cheese on his hands. He checks his phone and sees that it’s already 2:30. He yawns, thinking that it’s already time for him to sleep, and that the movie can probably wait until tomorrow. So, he shuts down his laptop and carefully places it on his table. He sighs because finally, he’ll be able to sleep.

He covers himself and his pillow (the beloved) with his blanket. Sleep was finally taking over his system, and he was ready to be engulfed by it when suddenly a thud woke him up, making him jolt in his sleep. He curses, because really, who the had the decency to disturb someone who’s about to sleep (or already sleeping)?

He knows that’s what he did last time but no need to get back to him by disturbing his oh so precious sleep. Baekhyun grunts, what in the world did I do to deserve this kind of treatment?

He didn’t want to get up and check where the sound came from. But then he remembers the fearful Sunday night, and thought that maybe it was a ghost again. So this time he’s not backing out and end up screaming because he wants to prove that he wasn’t hallucinating the last time that it happened. He faces his fears and braces himself to whatever he’ll see outside. He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes for a second, and opens the door.

“STAND BACK YOU EVIL ---” he stops when he sees someone lying on the floor, eyes open, and staring blankly on the ceiling.

The first thing Baekhyun thought of was whether he was the only one seeing this (because he still believes that there’s a ghost). But the boy suddenly stirs in his sleep, and literally stares right into Baekhyun’s eyes, as if it’s eating his soul. He’s convinced it’s a ghost. Baekhyun swears he even saw the guy smile devilishly as he looks at Baekhyun. Baekhyun thinks he might have peed a little on his pajamas.

But he wants to believe he’s someone fearless, that he’s a brave man with nothing to fear. Especially ghosts. Baekhyun takes a deep breath, remembering what his mother said, “Don’t be afraid of the dead. Be afraid of the living.” Right. Baekhyun, you are a strong, fearless, and capable young man, he thought, clutching at the hem of his shirt. He carefully moves forward, tiptoeing, realizing that he doesn’t have weapons with him, and hitting himself internally of how dumb and unplanned he is. But that didn’t stop him from approaching the man. He pokes the guy’s arms, whispering, “Sir, are you okay?”

 

As soon as he said that, the guy suddenly stood up, eyes open and walked slowly towards the door next to his. Baekhyun looks at him, flabbergasted. Really, why the do weird things happen on a Sunday night?

The boy opens the door and slams it loudly, and Baekhyun didn’t waste a second to run into his own room, hugging his favorite pillow, and covering the both of them with his blanket.

He considers moving out because, does he even need to explain this?

Jesus Christ, there’s a ghost next to my room.

 

———

 

“Sehun, I swear, there’s a ghost next to my room! And I think he’s really targeting me,” Baekhyun said to his friend, afraid, “I mean, why else would I be the only one who can see him, right? Right? Tell me I’m right.” he said, persisting his claim.

“No,” Sehun said curtly and Baekhyun pouts, “I told you, there’s no ghost. You’ve really gone mad this time. If you want, I’ll sleep next to you on Sunday. I’m free anyways.”

“Really?” Baekhyun said, squealing, hugging the life out of him, momentarily forgetting his ghost encounter. However, Sehun kinda regrets saying his proposition when he hears what Baekhyun plans for them to do, “Oh! I really missed being roommates with you. What do you think we should do? Should we play with dolls?”

“Dolls?!” Sehun asked, terrified.

“...how about dress up games? I remember you used to like them!” Baekhyun exclaimed. Sehun reddens, trying to stop Baekhyun from suggesting what they should do.

“I take it back---”

“How about I put makeup on you and we’ll post it on YouTube?”

“Really, Baekhyun, I don’t think it’s necessary ----” he stops when he sees Baekhyun laughing, having fun teasing his best friend. Sehun scowls and wants to take back what he just said about sleeping in his room on Sunday.

“Don’t take it back,” Baekhyun said as soon as he sees regret flooding on Sehun’s eyes, “I was just teasing. Let’s just watch a movie or play video games.”

“Don’t you have anything important to do?”

“I do, but fun first, cry later.” Baekhyun said. Sehun nods, aware of Baekhyun’s bad habit of procrastinating instead of doing things early. Baekhyun, for the nth time, squealed, “I really can’t wait for Sunday! We’ll be ghost hunting. We can be called The Ghosthunters™.”

“What ---”

“...but I still prefer dress up games.”

“Shut up.”

 

———

 

He doesn’t hear the series of loud knocks that’s about to break his door. He was playing his Taylor Swift playlist and he refuses to acknowledge anyone who tries to interrupt his moment. Only when All Too Well plays (with Baekhyun screaming its lyrics, of course) does he hear the loud knocks (or finally acknowledging its existence) and thinks that whoever is knocking on his door right now is a person who doesn’t know how important it is to not disturb someone who’s having a Taylor Swift jamming. Baekhyun pauses the song reluctantly, and opens his door, revealing his frowning friend carrying 2 pillows and a blanket, ready to sleep in his room.

“I’ve been knocking for like… 3 minutes. Seriously. Who blasts Taylor Swift at 11 PM?”

“What.” Baekhyun said, huffing. “Any time is a perfect time for a Taylor Swift.”

“Yeah, okay, but your neighbors pretty much don’t appreciate that.” Sehun said, walking past Baekhyun and drops his pillows and blanket on the top of the bunk bed. “I saw someone standing in front of your door. I think it’s your neighbor trying to talk to you to lower down the ing volume.”

“Are you sure it’s my neighbor though?” Baekhyun asks suspiciously, side-eyeing no one in particular, “What if it’s… the ghost?”

Sehun sighs, When will the ghost obsession stop?

Baekhyun gives him a onceover, and Sehun looks at him weirdly, “What now?”

“Are you still Sehun or has a demon possessed you?!” Baekhyun suddenly asked him, tackling him to the ground and pinning his hands to the side of his head to prevent him from escaping.

“What the is wrong with you?! I think you’re the one who’s possessed here!” Sehun said, trying to remove the tight grip his friend is doing. It was an uncomfortable position. His face is literally near to smooching the dirty floor.

“Struggling,” Baekhyun said while Sehun is squirming under him, “Struggling is pointless.”

“What the .”

“Stop moving!”

“Jesus Christ, Baek! I’m not possessed!”

“Oh yeah? Prove it! What’s Sehun’s favorite game when we were still kids?”

“Ugh, robots! No -- ouch!” Sehun exclaims when Baekhyun pinches him. “No! Say the truth!”

 

“I am telling the truth!”

“No.” Baekhyun said, pushing him to say what he wants to hear, grinning evilly in his mind. “Say it.”

“NO!”

“YES!”

“!” Sehun cursed, hurt with Baekhyun’s pinching, “! ! Fine! Dress up games!”

Baekhyun lets go of him and cackles, “God, you should’ve seen your face! It was so funny. I even had it recorded!” he said, playing the record and Sehun tries to snatch his phone from him but he was fast enough to avoid it by standing on his chair, raising his arms while sticking his tongue out.

“Fun.” Sehun said sarcastically, “I’m really starting to regret going here.”

“Oh, come on. I know you love me.” Baekhyun said, pouting and making cutesy faces in front of his friend. Sehun looks unimpressed, and rolls his eyes, plopping himself down on Baekhyun’s bed. “Hey, are we gonna sleep next to each other?” Baekhyun asked, wiggling his brows, as if making a stupid suggestion.

“Wipe that face off. It’s ing scary,” Sehun said. “And no. Since I love you so much, please note the sarcasm, I’m going to let you sleep on the top of this bunk bed.”

“Nooooo,” Baekhyun whined. “You know I hate the top part.”

“I know you do and that’s why I’m giving it to you.” Sehun said, smirking.

“Ugh, unfair.” he replied. “What’s the purpose of this sleepover if my BFF won’t let me sleep beside him?”

“Please don’t say BFF. I literally got goosebumps just by hearing it.”

“BFF.” Baekhyun repeated, and he was fast enough to evade the pillow that his friend threw. “Hey! That was my favorite pillow!”

“Ew. You make out with that, right?” Sehun asked, grossed out.

“I do not! The most that I did is a hug.” And it’s the truth. He’s not that desperate to have someone in his life.

“If you say so.” Sehun said, unconvinced. Baekhyun pouts, not really in the mood to defend himself.

“So, what time does this ‘ghost’ appear?”

“Around 3 AM.” Baekhyun said, remembering what was the reason why they had to have a sleepover in the first place. “What do you say we call ourselves The Ghosthunters™?”

“Please don’t start.”

 

 

They eventually slept after playing Mario Kart for hours (with Baekhyun winning, what’s new?). It was already quarter to 3 when Baekhyun suddenly woke up upon hearing another thud. Not again. Sehun was beside him, sleeping peacefully.

They did sleep next to each other, thanks to Baekhyun’s awesome persuasion (bribery). He shakes his arm lightly, trying to wake him up. He knows how light of a sleeper his friend is and he knows a few noises can wake him up.

“Sehun,” Baekhyun whispered. He receives a loud snore in reply. “Sehun.” he calls out again. He receives another loud snore in reply. “, Sehun, stop that. I know you’re pretending to sleep.”

Sehun groans. “What.”

“Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“There’s some noise outside.” Baekhyun said. He stood up, walked towards the door. “I swear.”

“Hallucination, Baekhyun.” Sehun said, not bothering to stand up. “Hallucination.”

“It’s not!” Baekhyun argues. “Come on, get up. Open the door for me.”

“Ohh, being a sissy now, are we?” Sehun says, annoyed, standing up and pushes Baekhyun to the side to open the door. Just before he opens it, Baekhyun hears another thud, and this time he’s sure Sehun heard it, noting the way he jolted. Baekhyun would’ve laughed if it’s a normal day. But no, they’re in a do or die situation. Sehun looks at Baekhyun and he sees Baekhyun motioning him to open the door. That little . Sehun opens it slightly to be cautious (Not because he’s scared. At least that’s what Sehun thinks, Baekhyun thinks otherwise) and looks warily outside. “There’s a…”

“A what?” Baekhyun said when Sehun stopped and didn’t continue what he was about to say.

“A drunk guy.” Sehun said, relieved.

“What?” Baekhyun asked, not buying it. “I swear! If you’re doing this just to make me look at it, I’m gonna ing castrate you.” he said, threatening him.

“Rude.” Sehun said, fake gasping. “And I’m telling the truth so no castrating will happen.” He sees Baekhyun looking skeptically him, as if trying to determine whether he’s telling the truth. Sehun opens the door widely and grips on Baekhyun’s arms. “Look.” he said, pointing at something.

Baekhyun peeks behind the door and sees someone wasted, half-leaning on the other side of the hall. He looks at him from head to toe. The guy was wearing an all white pajama set, and his eyes were open but he’s sure the guy’s sleeping. With the way he was snoring, it doesn’t take a genius to determine that the guy was already sleeping even in an uncomfortable position. Baekhyun looks at him again, this time a lot more attentively because the guy looks awfully familiar --- all white clothes, eyes open, loud thuds...

Wait a minute.

“Sehun,” Baekhyun said, gripping on his friend’s wrist. “I think I know who he is.”

“Who? Drunk guy who barely made it to his door?” Sehun said, laughing. Baekhyun shushes him and looks again just to confirm his guess. “So, who is he? An ex?”

“No,” Baekhyun said, ignoring the sarcastic comment. “He’s the ghost.”

Sehun stops laughing and looks at him. “What?”

“He’s the one that I kept on seeing at this time of the night!” Baekhyun said, this time sureness was evident in his voice. Sehun looks at the guy again and back to Baekhyun.

“I’m pretty sure he’s real.”

“Well, that’s what I’ve been saying. That ghosts are real. Duh.” Baekhyun said sarcastically. Sehun hits him and Baekhyun yelps, muttering a soft curse.

“I meant I’m pretty sure he’s a real person.” Sehun said, trying to say his point.

“Are you sure?” Baekhyun asked, looking at the guy again.

“Seriously, Baekhyun? Have you seen a ghost snoring?” Sehun asks, again with a sarcastic tone.

Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows, pouting, “I don’t know, Sehun. I’ve never seen a real life ghost before.”

“Oh my ing God.” Sehun said. “Have you seen one sleeping? You know, in the movies?”

Baekhyun gets Sehun’s points but he figures, why not have fun for a while? “Casper the Friendly Ghost?”

Sehun raises his arms in surrender, “Okay. I’m done here. Not dealing with any of this.”

Baekhyun laughs while trying to stop his friend from going back to bed. “I’m just kidding, Sehun. I get your point.” he said. “Fine. He’s an actual person then. I so hate to be wrong especially when it’s with you. And by the way, don’t use movies as reference to how ghosts act. We don’t know whether it’s true or just an exaggeration to scare people.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear you being a know-it-all and focus on the fact that you admitted you’re wrong. Oh well, there’s always a first time, my friend.” Sehun said and pats his back.

Baekhyun once again looks at the guy who’s still in the same position. Baekhyun briefly wonders how hard it was to sleep in such position but realized that that’s not exactly the problem right now. “Hey Sehun, do you think we should help him?” he asked to his friend, worried evident on his voice. “I think he’ll be in pain once he wakes up.”

“Okay, see here, Byun, people who sleepwalk don’t actually remember any that they do when they sleepwalk.” Sehun said knowingly.

“But that doesn’t mean they don’t feel anything. I was just pointing out that maybe he’ll be in pain once he wakes up. I mean, look at him. That’s not exactly a good position to sleep.” Baekhyun said, pointing at the guy to further prove his point to his friend. Sehun looks at him sternly and Baekhyun looks back. They engage in a silent conversation of what they should do.

In the end, Sehun sighs and complies. “Fine. But we’re not going to let him in. For all you know, he might be a serial killer. Or he could murder you while he’s sleeping and he won’t remember doing so because he sleepkilled you.”

“I’m not sure if sleepkilled is even a word...”

“Not the point.” Sehun said and made his way towards the tall, lanky guy. “Can we even carry him?”

“Well, we’re two and he’s one, so it’s worth a try.” Baekhyun said and lifts the guy’s arms and places it around on his shoulder and he places his other hand around the guy’s waist. Sehun does the same, and god was the boy heavy.

“It’s like I’m carrying weights.” Sehun said, complaining.

“You don’t even go to the gym.”

“Well right now, I feel like I am in one.” Sehun said pointedly. Baekhyun rolls his eyes and groans. “Let’s just let him lie near his door. It’s just right next to mine.” Sehun nods and huffs.

After a few minutes of struggle, they managed to carefully lie the guy down beside his door. Sehun stretches out his arms, and Baekhyun can hear a cracking sound coming from it. “If that’s what it feels like to go to the gym, I’m never gonna try it.”

“We’ll never know.” Baekhyun said.

“Well, now that we’ve proven the false existence of ghosts in this GODDAMN TERRITORY, I think it’s time to sleep.” Sehun said, yawning. He makes his way to his door and sees Baekhyun standing next to guy, staring at him as if he’s mesmerized.

“You coming?” Sehun asks.

Baekhyun looks at him and nods. “Yeah, in a minute.”

Sehun nods and opens Baekhyun’s door, leaving his friend staring at the guy. If Baekhyun looks at him more carefully, past the weird sleeping habits, the guy has a nice face. He looks familiar, as if they go way back yet he can’t quite point out where he had seen him. He just dismissed the thought, thinking that maybe it was just the fact that he had known the guy for his sleepwalking episodes. You have weird sleeping habits, Baekhyun thought. Why is that?

Baekhyun wonders for a few seconds but stops when he sees the guy stir, sighing. He crouches, lets himself stare a little more closely. And he realized that he’s really weirded out at how the guy sleeps with his eyes open. So, he carefully closed his eyes, hoping not to poke him and wake him up. Much better.

Baekhyun stands up and walks back to his room. I’ll wake you up next time.

When Baekhyun went inside his room, he saw his friend sitting and looking at him. “What?”

“Hey, Baekhyun…” Sehun said thoughtfully, “Didn’t you say you had something to do?”

.

 

———

 

The next time that Baekhyun had an encounter with the sleepwalking guy was two weeks after their sleepover. He didn’t see the guy last week since he went to his mom’s event and ended up sleeping early (another world record for Byun Baekhyun) in his room, mentally exhausted. Being with his mom made him forget of sleepwalking guy, and all throughout the event, all he did was nod and answer Yes, mom. lots of times for her not to pry on anything. Not that anything exciting is happening in his life besides studying, trying to survive, sleepwalking, and parties she doesn’t really need to know of.

“Honey, why did you choose IT again?” his mom asked while they were in the middle of having dinner. Baekhyun wasn’t exactly paying attention. His mind was projecting a certain commercial that he can’t seem to forget, and right now, Baekhyun’s amused by it. “Baekhyun?”

“Yes, mom.” he answered absentmindedly, mentally laughing at that bubblegum commercial he saw before heading out.

His mom furrowed her eyebrows. “Are you even listening to me?”

“Huh? What? Oh, um, yes, mom.” Baekhyun answered, not really having any idea what they were just talking about. His mom sighs and opens a new topic, losing Baekhyun again to another commercial he thinks is more amusing than his mother’s stories and complaints about his officemates.

Not that Baekhyun doesn’t enjoy listening to his mother’s stories. It’s just that his mind was wandering to somewhere else after his mom mentioned about him having a boyfriend. Of course, the usual answer to her questions regarding his non-existent love life is that he has no time for it and he would rather focus on the more important things. But his mom just shaked him fervently and says that it’s all about time management (an aspect he is totally not good at). He thinks his mom is a lot more excited for him to have a boyfriend than him.

 

He was already starting to forget about the conversation of having one, but his mother didn’t want him to. She dropped him off at his dormitory and gave him a peck on the cheek, sing-songing, “Let me meet a boyfriend of yours next time, Baekhyunee~”

He’s not pressured. No, not really. But when he went up to his room to rest, he ended up thinking of his mother’s words. He wonders why he’s never had anyone in his life for the past 5 years. It’s not really because he’s scared to fall in love again (this is half-true), but it’s more of he just didn’t really think it’s a must to be in a relationship. After all, he’s young, good looking (in his opinion), and has certain skills that he can be proud of (such as procrastinating). So, the chance to have someone in his life is still high, unlike his mother who’s been single ever since the day he started walking. So, really, what’s the pressure when he can still have fun and die from studying, right?

Except if he admits it to himself, he yearns for warmth in cold days, when there’s no one there to provide him body heat or someone to hug him just to keep him out of the cold. It’s not because his favorite pillow doesn’t give enough warmth, but he just wants to cuddle with someone else besides his pillow. He wants to have someone to hug in days wherein everything’s just too hard to manage. But no, he believes he still has a lot of time to find someone and decides to just sleep on his thoughts, throwing it somewhere else for him not to be bothered by it.

So, here he is a week after the meeting with his mother, wondering why the hell he is up at 3 AM thinking of the same thing while trying to review for a test he has later. He shakes his head, hoping that it would help in clearing his head. He continues highlighting and hopes that it would stay in his head, considering the fact that he already had 3 cups of coffee even though he hates drinking coffee at this time. He really has to pass this test. He can’t afford failing just because of his low capability of the trying to resist the urge to sleep.

He was on the last page of his reviewer when he hears a loud slam. He jolts, surprised at how loud it was. The first thought that came into his mind that it was probably a ghost (again), but he realized that maybe it’s his neighbor again, sleepwalking. So, he opens his door, hoping that this time his neighbor isn’t sleepwalking anymore and that he’s wide awake, doing what normal college students do on a Sunday night.

That’s not what he sees though, because the moment he opens the door, he sees the guy walking past him and going towards the stairs. Baekhyun follows him, worried that his neighbor would fall. But then again, there’s a possibility that he has done this sleepwalking lots of times that it seems more of a routine than an unusual occurrence.

He sees him going to the public restroom on the first floor, and he thought of following him but decided against it since it was some form of invading his privacy. He kind of thinks that the guy’s awake but then he goes out of the restroom with the same look on his face, blank and not really blinking. Guess he’s still asleep.

“Uh, hey?” Baekhyun whispered, hoping that it would make the guy stop from walking. It didn’t work. He continued going up to their floor and Baekhyun thinks that his routine is already done.

They were already on their floor, in front of Baekhyun’s door, when he decides to make the guy face him, still looking dazed as if he was petrified. The guy blinks, and Baekhyun thinks he’s already conscious of his actions so he smiles.

“Hey, um. I hope you don’t mind me following you. We live in the same dorm, and the same floor actually, and for some reason you’re wandering around at 3 AM on a Sunday night. I’m pretty sure you’re sleepwalking, I mean I thought you were a ghost at first, but uh…” Baekhyun rambles, and furrows his eyebrows when he sees the guy just staring at him. “So yeah, I followed you around and I didn’t know whether I should wake you up, but I --- HEY!” Baekhyun stopped what he was saying when the guy pushed him to the side, opened his door and left it as it was. “DON’T COME IN MY ROOM!” he shouted, and he sees the guy plop himself down on his bed. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?”

All he received as a reply is a loud snore.

.

Baekhyun went inside his room, trying to calm himself down. He grabs his phone and dials his friend’s phone number to ask for his help, but it only went to voicemail, and Baekhyun groans, frustrated at the result of his good intention. He looks at the guy and he feels himself calming down, smiling slightly at the sight of someone sleeping peacefully on his bed. But then the guy stirred, reached for his favorite pillow, cuddled with it… and, oh god the audacity! He even whispered I love you to it. Baekhyun’s enraged.

“Okay, that’s it, mister!” Baekhyun stomps, heading towards the man, stealing the most precious thing for him. No one cuddles with his favorite pillow except him. He looks at the guy again, now pouting, and rolls his eyes, not really amused with what’s happening. In the end, he sighs, hugs his favorite pillow and goes to his desk to resume studying. It’s the last page anyway.

He sits there for a few minutes, glaring at his paper, kind of hoping that it would be etched in his mind like a photograph. He looks at the guy again, sprawled on his own bed, getting the sleep he should be having right now if he didn’t try to disturb the guy’s sleepwalking habits. He glares at him, but it softens when he sees the guy smile, dimple showing on one side of his cheek. It was still kind of creepy for Baekhyun since his eyes were still open. So, he did what he did the last time and closed his eyes for him, looking a lot more peaceful (and cuter).

He doesn’t know what he’s doing but suddenly, he has his phone in his hand and he opens the camera, snapping a picture of his peacefully sleeping neighbor and stares at it, whispering how cute it was. He almost drops his phone when the guy suddenly shouts.

“AND NOW HE’S HEADING TOWARDS THE GOAL! PARK CHANYEOL, THE KING OF FOOTBALL!”

Jesus Christ.

“SCOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

What the .

 

———

 

Chanyeol being called a mess is definitely an understatement.

Ever since his breakup with his boyfriend, Kyungsoo, he has been an absolute wreck. He can’t accept the fact that he broke up with him, even if he was willing to fight for their relationship. He was willing to beg on his knees for him to not leave him. No one can’t blame Chanyeol for acting like this. Four years, is he really going to let it go down the drain?

Apparently, for Kyungsoo, yes. It has to go down the drain.

Chanyeol knows he’s the reason why the man wanted to breakup with him. If he hears past his wails, he’s pretty sure Kyungsoo said that they’re not working out anymore, that Chanyeol is too in love with his books, always having a date with it that he forgot that he still has a boyfriend. He said he doesn’t want to be a second priority anymore, and he’s fed up of having to constantly fight a battle with Chanyeol’s time. And he said that he’s not in love with him anymore, that he’s already seeing someone else, and it’s time to let go of a dead relationship.

Chanyeol laughs bitterly at that, because why? Where did he go wrong? Is it because he lost the time to schedule a date with him because he’s too busy with “a date” with his books? Did Kyungsoo not think that maybe the reason why he’s trying his best to study is because it’s for their future? For him to give him a stable life? Now, Chanyeol knows what bull is because he knows Kyungsoo is well aware of what Chanyeol’s plans are for their future.

God, Chanyeol can forget his own dreams just for Kyungsoo to achieve his. He can forget all his books if Kyungsoo wanted to spend time with him.

Yeah, that’s right. Chanyeol would forget his books if Kyungsoo even mentioned that he wants time from him. That’s just how smitten he is with the guy, that just a few words from him, he’s a goner. Except Kyungsoo never said anything. Kyungsoo never made him feel like he wanted time from him. He was always out of their shared house, always cancelling the dates that Chanyeol arranged (see, he did try to make time), so now why does it feel like Kyungsoo is trying to turn the tables and make him think that he’s the one at fault?

Of course, he knows why. Kyungsoo, being the perfect boy he is, doesn’t want to be at fault. He doesn’t want to admit that he’s the one at mistake. He wants others to think that the reason why their relationship fell apart was because of him. What he doesn’t want others to think (and know) is that he’s been secretly going out with another person until late at night just for them to spend some time together. And for some reason, every time that Chanyeol asks Kyungsoo for a date, the guy would always have a reason to cancel, and Chanyeol doesn’t even know if it’s the truth, or if it’s a translation of I’m letting your best friend me real good, I don’t have time for you. That’s right, his best friend. His life is beginning to look like a cliché movie that he doesn’t ever want to watch. Chanyeol swears that he’s going to punch the hell out of the person who thought that it would be wise to fall in love with his boyfriend’s best friend.

As much as he wants to dwell on it, to think more of it, he has to pack his things and move out from their apartment. What used to be a home for him became a house of bitter memories, unfulfilled dreams, and unfaithful relationships. As much as he wants to protest and make Kyungsoo leave, he doesn’t. He picked this apartment because it’s what Kyungsoo liked, it’s what Kyungsoo is most comfortable of. The least he can do is leave the place to him, and well, make other people think that Kyungsoo never really did anything wrong in their relationship.

Even if he wants to come clean, he knows he can’t. He sighs. He took the initiative of leaving, hurt yet determined to move on.

He knows it’s not going to be easy. 4 years of relationship is not really easy to let go of, and added to that, they were friends from the start. It’s like losing a lover and losing a friend. Chanyeol sighs, realizing that it’s really not going to be easy to move on from his past relationship. The both of them go to the same university and it’s not really a big place to hide from someone whom he’s not willing to encounter ever again.

One could say that he is lucky. He bumped in with a long-time friend of his who was looking for someone to take care of his room in exchange of being able to live there for free. Chanyeol didn’t want to, considering his friend’s current status in life can be a form of disturbance, and added to the fact that he didn’t really want anyone to know of how he’s a miserable little piece of , but he accepted the offer. Who can ever deny to free things when it’s already there? It was near his university, and he was desperate for a place to stay anyway so there’s no reason for him to decline.

So, there he was, in a dormitory full of students who cram and party all night yet here he was, stuck in his own mishaps and bitter memories, drowning him in his sea made of tears. Not gonna lie though, when he moved in with his friend (despite his friend not being there anyway because of how busy his personal life is), it was fun, and he was distracted with the never-ending noises from next door, even if it would always lose his focus to whatever it is that he’s doing. His mind is full of complaints and curses about how noisy the person next door is, but it’s better than to think of Kyungsoo and other things that would only make him go mad.

However, it’s not enough. He needed to run away from his thoughts. At night, when it’s quiet and no one’s blasting any song on their stereo, his mind goes automatically back to his failed relationship, of what ifs, of what should’ve been done to mend a broken relationship. It’s affecting him more than what he expected. He needed something to get off every thought in his head.

He has to survive, to forget. He struggles juggling schoolworks, part time jobs, and more stress that he has to face for being a college boy. He wants to fill his mind with something else not about love. He doesn’t care if he’s already sleep deprived, or if he has taken sleeping pills for solace just to force himself to sleep or for him to have some sleep without waking in the middle of the night just because of the sudden urge to do something. He wants his mind to be at peace, for him to never think of anything related to that. He even nicknamed his ex as Ex-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named as if it’s a curse, like the one in the movies.

It was okay at first, him being too stressed, sleep-deprived (which is definitely not normal, and not okay), and resorting to forcing himself to sleep on days when he’s having a hard time to. But it got worse when he felt as if he can travel in his dreams. He can go anywhere, may it be in another country, at a convenience store, at his old apartment, anywhere and he thought it’s just a dream. He even went to the comfort room one time in his dreams, but he was jolted awake when he hears a (too) loud slam of a door and a series of screams, waking him up from his travels. That’s when he sees himself in the halls, alone and lost. It’s when he realized that he’s been sleepwalking, wandering, travelling unconsciously.

He wanted it to stop, but he can’t help it. Every Sunday, he wakes up on the halls, and him sighing, knowing that he sleepwalked again. He wonders what he does whenever he sleepwalks, but the only thing he remembers is where he goes in his dreams. He never really remembers what he does whenever he sleepwalks, but always, when he’s already half-conscious, he hears the same voice that screams or talks to someone about him.

Tonight, he’s in the same state - him being too tired to even function, and all he wants to do is to curl up on his bed and get some sleep he’s been yearning for. He was too tired, and it was easy for him to be lulled to sleep, silencing the Taylor Swift noise that’s blasting on his neighbor’s speakers (every single night), refusing to be reminded of a certain boy that only made his heart break for every second.

But this time, it’s different. He was walking alone in their school’s dormitories. It’s warm, like someone is just guiding him, making sure that he doesn’t do anything stupid. He can’t see what it is but he lets it happen. Letting the warmth engulf him, he closes his eyes, hoping that by doing it, he will wake up. But when he opened his eyes, he’s in a football match, and he sees his younger self, enjoying a game with his friends. Odd. He has never had this kind of dream, but if he remembers it correctly, no one came to cheer for him. So that’s what he did for his younger self, cheer for him and gave himself some self-boost despite knowing that it’s only a dream.

After that, it was only pitch black, and the only thing he can feel is comfortable feeling of warmth embracing him, keeping him safe, lulling him to have some decent, well-deserved sleep that he’s been yearning for the past months.

That’s when Chanyeol wakes up, feeling too comfortable and too warm, something he has never felt since the past few months college has started. It was too unfamiliar for him. So naturally, he sits up, ignoring the warmth he’s receiving, looked around and realized that he isn’t in his room.

Not again.

He had another sleepwalking episode, and this time he thinks he slept with someone without even remembering it. Chanyeol thinks it’s ridiculous, knowing well enough how his dreams were, but then again, he isn’t really aware of the things a person who sleepwalks usually do so in his mind, it’s possible that he did sleep with someone.

He looks at his clothes and sees that it’s the same all white pajama that he usually wore on a Sunday night. Then next that he checked was the owner of the arms that were on his torso a few minutes ago. He sees him fully clothed, and Chanyeol lets out a breath that he’s been holding when he sees that it’s a guy. So, there’s no chance that he had someone impregnated.

Yet with the way he’s acting, it seems as if that’s what he’d done. He hastily removes the (comfortable) blanket that’s covering his lower body, not bothering to wake up the person who let him sleep in his room, opening the door and closing it the quietest way possible.

He thinks he just left someone he had a one night stand with. Thinking that last night’s acts were only a hindrance to his plan of not ever wanting to have friends again, he wants to live his stressful life without having to confront someone who would only be a nuisance.

Jerk move. But oh well, he’s Park Chanyeol. What is there to expect?

 

———

 

Much to Baekhyun’s disappointment, the guy left without even thanking him for letting him stay for the night. He thought that he will be able to finally have the chance to talk with the cute-guy-but-has-weird-habits guy today but alas, the guy left before he could even utter a simple hello. Well, cute guy isn’t going anywhere, so he decides to just confront him when he’d have a chance to see him on the halls, awake.

Pouting, he arranged everything that he has to bring for his first class today, not really in a rush since there’s nothing important to be done in that class besides an awfully boring discussion. He applies some moisturizer on his face (“Skin care is important!”) and checks how he looks. Presentable. He nods to no one in particular and fixes a few unruly strands of hair. Looking good, young man.

He’s a bit startled though, when a loud knock disturbed his inner overconfident self. Thinking that it’s Sehun, he gets his bag and opens the door, ready to tease his friend for going to his room just for them to go to the university together. But he’s surprised to see his neighbor, awake, and staring at him.

“Oh, hi!” Baekhyun said, smiling. He tries to remember what he said last night, since he thinks it’s the perfect time to open the topic. “I’m sorry if I followed you around last night. We’re actually neighbors, and I was just curious why you wander around at 3 AM I’m pretty sure you were just sleepwalking and I,” Baekhyun stopped, and frowned when he sees a vague shift of emotions in the guy’s eyes, and a flash of irritation is what he sees. “I… I don’t know if I should wake you up --- HEY!” he exclaims, surprised when he was pushed to the side again by the same man. “DON’T COME IN MY ROOM!” and somehow, it’s like déjà vu except this one really happened again and not something that was on his mind. He sees him rummaging through his shoe rack and even had the decency to lift one of his blankets on the floor and tosses it on his desk. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” he said, suddenly irritated.

Asleep or not, he’s rude. Baekhyun thought as he stomps his way near to the man. He holds onto his arm (and wow, they are toned), and faces him. “What are you doing?!” he repeats.

“Have you seen my shoes?” the guy asked him.

“What?”

“My shoes.” he stated. Baekhyun looks at him, eyebrows furrowed, confused. “You know, something you wear to school and use to walk outside.” he added.

“I know what shoes are!” he said, infuriated. He thinks I’m dumb.

“Congrats.” the man said sarcastically. “So, have you seen it?”

“No! What the hell?! I’m not interested with your shoes!” Baekhyun replied. “And are you even this rude? Do you just go into someone’s house without even asking if you can go in?”

“Well, I can.” he said, rolling his eyes. Baekhyun tries to stop the urge to hit him square on the face. “Are you sure you haven’t seen it anywhere? Ugh, I can’t really afford to buy a new one.”

“No! And if I did, I won’t give it to you since you’re such an !” Baekhyun said, pushing him out of his door. “And just so you know, I’m not some young, dumb, and broke highschool kid who doesn’t even know what a ing shoe is!” he said and slams the door.

He takes a deep breath, calming himself down, realizing something, making him slap his own forehead. Did he just make a joke?

 

———

 

Chanyeol was beyond pissed. He kept seeing his stupid (but cute) neighbor wherever he went. He knows that the university isn’t exactly such a big place, but everytime he looks somewhere in the distance, he sees the (cute) guy scowling at everyone who tries to go near him except one boy whom he thinks is his best friend. He thinks a frowning face isn’t made for his face, and he feels kind of guilty for causing it — or at least he thinks he’s the one who caused it. And he’s pissed because seeing the guy makes him feel guilty.

Okay, Chanyeol isn’t really a 100% douchebag. His day just didn’t start right with all that what happened when he woke up in his neighbor’s room, and somehow hearing his neighbor saying that he tried to follow him around just to make sure he’s sleepwalking annoyed him even if he isn’t sure why.

He admits that the first time that his neighbor talked to him made him feel flustered for a few seconds. He didn’t really expect him to be that cute, and he felt in awe after seeing him smile brightly at him, his bright red hair combed nicely, and looking impossibly cute with his grey top and skinny jeans, along with a big backpack he usually doesn’t see college students use. His mind blanked when he saw him, making him speechless upon seeing such beauty just right in front of him.

He felt like he didn’t deserve to see such overwhelming beauty even after acting like a total jerk this morning. But staring at him like a lovestruck boy wasn’t exactly the reason why he went to his neighbor’s room. He had to look for something, so he pushed away any mushy feelings he’s getting from seeing a cute guy just next to his room, and acted all rude to him (and to convince himself that he doesn’t really want anyone to divert his attention from all the hard work he’s doing just to get his mind off anything related to love just because he sees someone attractive).

He was already late, and he had a test to take. He was already rushing when he realized that his shoes were nowhere to be seen. Now, Park Chanyeol didn’t exactly have the time to act like Cinderella. No, it’s cliché to say this but for Chanyeol, time is gold (it’s literally the “reason” why Ex-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named broke up with him). He doesn’t want any of his time to be wasted. Looking for his shoes is a waste of time, but he needs to find it. It’s the only pair of shoes that he has, and all that was in their room is his roommate’s shoes, and they don’t really fit. A rational person would think of looking under his bed but no, he immediately thought that he left it in his neighbor’s room, thinking that he used his shoes to sleepwalk (like the first time he did).

His minor fight with his neighbor was, truthfully, a waste of time. But he didn’t really think of that and even had to add fuel to the fire. And now, he feels guilty for being such an . Come to think of it, he was the one who needed something, but he was the one who acted like an absolute in front of his neighbor, as if he doesn’t have any manners. As if he’s making him feel that he’s only a nuisance in his life after what happened last night.

He sighs, looking at the guy who’s clinging on his friend’s arms, pouting. He’ll just say sorry later. Like a decent human being.

That’s not exactly a waste of time, is it?

 

———

 

Baekhyun scowls for the nth time today, annoyed at anyone who goes near him. He sees his friend waving at him and all he did to acknowledge him is nod.

“What’s wrong, Byun Baek? Another failed attempt to flirt and get laid?” he teased, thinking that his friend was just having a normal bad mood kind of face.

“Shut up, Sehun. Not everything is about getting laid.” Baekhyun said, still scowling. Sehun frowns. It’s rare to see Baekhyun frowning like this, and Sehun knows that this time it’s serious talk with his friend.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, concerned. He rubs his friend’s back and finds him relaxing, frown turning softer.

“My neighbor… you know, the one who sleepwalks?” Baekhyun asked. Sehun nods, aware of who he was talking about. If this was a normal day, he would probably reply with a “The one you think is too cute to even exist? Yeah, I do.” but sadly, today is not the day.

“Well, he’s rude. And probably the worst.” he said, leaning on his friend’s shoulder.

“What did he do?”

“We had a fight.”

“What? Lovers’ spat already?” he said. He really can’t help it.

“Ugh. you. No.” Baekhyun said, hitting his friend. “It was about his shoes.”

“Cinderella lost his shoes?” Sehun said jokingly and was surprised to see him nod. “How? Why you? Why in your room?”

Baekhyun told the whole trying to wake him up from his sleepwalking attempt up until their fight. His friend nods understandingly and asks, “Did something happen between the two of you?”

“No. Jesus. I told you, he was sleepwalking again, and I tried to talk to him, thinking that he was already awake.” he explained.

“Well, maybe he thought something happened between the two of you, that’s why he left without even telling you.”

“Wow. Spoken like a true jerk. Is that what you do with your one night stands?” he replies, smirking, already in the mood to be all sarcastic with his friend. Can’t really blame him. Sarcasm (and humor) is his coping mechanism. “And what? He thinks we ed? Like as if he was drunk, and we did while we’re not sober, and stuff? While he was asleep unknowingly? Okay, between the two of us, he’s the young, dumb, broke highschool kid. Not me.”

“I do not do one night stands.” Sehun said, and Baekhyun looks at him, squinting his eyes, clearly not believing it. “Okay, it was a one time thing. It didn’t happen again. Well anyway, in rare cases, it is possible to happen. It’s very unlikely, though. I mean, having while drunk is possible, even if half-asleep, kinda.” he said knowingly. “And did you just make a joke? Like the lamest one I’ve ever heard?”

“Well, we didn’t do anything. Not in his sleep state nor mine. And the joke was funny. In my head. And even that time when I said it to my neighbor.” Baekhyun said, sticking his tongue out. Sehun rolls his eyes and that’s when he clings on his friend’s arms, pouting. “Be a good friend and comfort me, BFF.”

Sehun smirks at what he said. “There’s a party later near my orgmate’s dorm. Wanna come?”

“Party? Again?” Baekhyun said and placed his hand below his chin, acting as if he’s thinking hard about it. “Count me in.”

He really needs to sort out his priorities.

 

———

 

“PARKOUR!” he shouted and jumped to his bed and then near to his shoe rack.

Baekhyun was in the middle of impersonating the iconic Parkour moment in the T.V series The Office when a series of knocks interrupts his moment. He looks at his wall clock and sees that it’s still a few minutes early before Sehun arrives to collect him. Knowing his friend, he’d opt to go late than early. Baekhyun scoffs, glares at the door as if it interrupted some important event, which was true because Parkour is life (if breaking your bones is your hobby), and considers not opening it, thinking it would go away but the knocks only continued. Baekhyun sighs and considers buying a Do Not Disturb sign to hang on his door. He makes his way to the door and is surprised to see his (awfully handsome yet a jerk) neighbor.

Oh god, looking at him hurts. He shakes his head and reminds himself of the fight that they had. Well, you know since he’s such an eyesore.

“What?” he asked, annoyed. His neighbor just looked at him, mouth agape and he seems a little bit at loss for words. “Are we just gonna stand here and look at each other?”

His neighbor shakes his head and clears his throat. “Uh, well… I came here to say sorry. And to introduce myself properly.” he said. Baekhyun resists the urge to roll his eyes.

“Go on.”

“As you know, I’m from next door. I just moved here recently, and I realized that I haven’t had the chance to introduce myself since you were always out in the morning.” the tall man said, and he vaguely hears a whisper like ‘and I wasn’t exactly interested in meeting anyone.’ but he shrugs it off. “I’m sorry we had to meet at such an unfortunate way last night and uh, this morning. My name’s Chanyeol.” he said, offering a paper bag, “It’s cookies. I hope you like eating one because that’s the only thing that I thought I could give.”

That wasn’t the first time we met, Baekhyun thinks but doesn’t say it. Instead he nods, accepts the paper bag of cookies, and shakes his hand, “Baekhyun.” he introduces. “You didn’t have to give one… we don’t usually do it here.”

“That’s alright. Consider it as a sorry gift.” Chanyeol said, smiling sheepishly while still shaking his hand.

He’s not as bad as he seems, Baekhyun thought and he can’t help staring at the man in front of him who even had to make some time to give him cookies.

Baekhyun thinks Chanyeol has the nicest warm eyes, and he thinks he could probably drown in them. Not to mention Chanyeol’s deep voice that makes Baekhyun’s heart leap for some reason. And oh, did he mention how good-looking the guy is, sporting a charming smile that looks perfectly pasted on his boyish looks? Sure, lots of times, but he was a lot handsome when he’s conscious and smiling. Baekhyun thinks he has never seen someone as perfect as the one in front of him (mentally forgetting that the boy has weird sleeping habits and is a total douchebag).

They stay in that position for a while until someone had to clear his throat and ruin the moment, “Am I interrupting something?” the little , Sehun, asked.

Baekhyun glares at him and Sehun chuckles. Baekhyun turns to Chanyeol and sees him looking back and forth between them, a silent question hanging in the air, “Chanyeol, this is Sehun. My best friend.”

Chanyeol nods, smiling, “Hi! I’m Chanyeol. Nice to meet you.”

“Pleased to meet you.” Sehun said, and furrows his eyebrows, moving forward to get a better look of Chanyeol. “You look familiar.”

“Huh?” Chanyeol asks, confused, “I’m sure we’ve never met.”

“You look really really familiar, though.” he said, thinks for a while, and eyes rounding when he realized where he saw him, “Hey! You were the one who was in Baek— ouch! , stop that!” he suddenly said, feeling a jab on his stomach. Sehun looks at him, horrified and hurt. He sees Baekhyun glaring at him as if warning him, don’t you dare, or I’ll break all your Kim Junmyeon CDs in front of you.

“In what?” Chanyeol asks curiously. Sehun opens his mouth to answer, but Baekhyun beats him to it.

“Um, uh, in… me!” Baekhyun said in a rush to prevent whatever Sehun will answer, and he covers his mouth upon realizing what he just said. What the did I just say. Of all the things that I can think of, oh my god.

Silence. The two were looking at him as if he’d grown two heads. Both were looking at him, not really believing that something so stupid came out from his mouth. The silence went on for a few minutes, and Baekhyun promises that if a person drops a pin while in here, they’ll literally hear the sound of it dropping on the floor

He was about to say something to take back what he said when Chanyeol laughed, deep voice booming on the halls, and he even slapped Baekhyun’s arms, failing to control himself from laughing. Now, it was Sehun and Baekhyun looking at him weirdly, not really amused with the outcome of Baekhyun’s stupidity.

“You’re so funny, Baekhyun!” Chanyeol said, still laughing, almost down on his knees and holding against the wall for support. It goes on for a few minutes, and Baekhyun contemplates whether he should ask if he’s okay or not. Suddenly, Chanyeol stands up, wiping some tear from his eyes (Oh, wow, was he that funny?), “Naughty.” he said, nodding, “I like you. I think we’ll go along really well — that’s if we forget about the bickering thing.”

Baekhyun feels his face heat up, not knowing what to say (also afraid that he will say something stupid again), so he turns to Sehun — who was judging him — and asks for help. Sehun nods in understanding, “Well, I think my friend has gone mute from all his stupidity.” he said to Chanyeol. Baekhyun glares at him, but he sees Chanyeol smiling and nodding, and his glare softens, “We should go now. Thanks for the, uh, whatever Baekhyun is holding, Chanyeol. It’s nice to meet you.” he says, and waves.

Sehun drags him away from his spot, and Baekhyun tries his best to wave back at the smiling and waving Chanyeol but he only manages to close his eyes, and beg the floor to eat him alive, whispering kill me, kill me now. His friend continues to drag him towards the stairs while complaining how he’s such a pain in the . When they have successfully got out of the building, Sehun snorts at how stupid Baekhyun looks.

“Nice line, .” Sehun said, “‘In me?’ Really?” he repeats, judging.

“What? You were going to tell him about that stupid room incident and the ones before that!” he said, defending himself.

“I know I speak the truth, but I also understand when to have an excuse.”

“Well, I can’t take it back anymore! He probably thinks I’m some ert neighbor who ogles at him every night.”

“Don’t you?” Sehun teases. Baekhyun smacks him, and Sehun fakes pain, internally laughing at how stupid and dejected Baekhyun looks right now.

“Ugh. you. Why are you even my friend?”

Sehun shrugs and says, “Well, at least he said he likes you.”

Baekhyun looks at him, eyes wide, “Do you think he’s into erts?”

“Jesus Christ, Baekhyun. You say so much stupid things. Why are you even my friend?” Sehun said, repeating Baekhyun’s words, face palming, and tries to move away from a moping Baekhyun as if saying I don’t know this guy.

Baekhyun follows him, but stops when he realized something, “He said naughty though, then followed by an ‘I like you’”, he said and blushes, “Does this mean he likes it naughty?”

Needless to say, Sehun walks away from his as fast as he can, muttering about how all the gods should probably bless his friend with the utmost intelligence that he hopes he has.

 

———

 

It’s one of the rare times in which Chanyeol’s roommate is home, and he’s not exactly delighted by it, considering that he managed to have a day off just to rest the whole day, but his friend’s presence isn’t exactly what he expects to have. Don’t get him wrong though. He likes his friend and is very thankful of him but whenever he’s there, he’s asked to go out and leave him be. If it was a normal day, he would gladly comply and choose to work in the school’s library or probably the dormitory’s study room, but right now all he wants is a good sleep with no one disturbing him.

“Hey, Chanyeol…” his friend, Junmyeon, greets him.

“Hey.” Chanyeol said, nodding to his direction. “How was work?”

“Tiring as usual.” Junmyeon said. “Listen, is it okay if ---”

“Yeah, of course.” Chanyeol said, not really letting his friend finish whatever he’s going to say. He already knows it. “I’ll just… get my stuff. Have a good rest.” he said. Junmyeon nods and goes back to whatever it was that he was doing.

He really wants to rest. Maybe that’s the reason why as soon as he went out of his room and saw his neighbor the first thing he did was ask him.

“Hey, can I stay in your place for a while?” he asks. Baekhyun looks at him incredulously, not really expecting such question from him. Even Chanyeol can’t believe that he asked his (kind of) problematic neighbor such request.

“Glad you had the decency to ask this time instead of just barging in…” Baekhyun said, fishing out his keys and opens the door. “Come in.”

“I’m really sorry about last time.” Chanyeol said, following Baekhyun inside and closing the door for him. He sees Baekhyun nod, carelessly removing his shoes and not even minding putting it in the proper place.

“What are you doing?” Baekhyun asked, looking at Chanyeol who’s holding his shoes. “What? You interested in my shoes now?”

“No! I…” Chanyeol said, quickly placing the shoes on the rack. “I just… I thought of putting it on the rack. I didn’t mean to steal it or anything. I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun doesn’t say anything and just placed his bag on his desk. He hears Baekhyun clear his throat, “Hey, Chanyeol. I’m sorry for what I said the last time we saw each other. I kind of panicked, and just said some stupid stuff ---”

“Oh, the ‘in me’? I don’t mind. It was really funny and a good ice breaker.” Chanyeol teases, sitting at his neighbor’s bed without even being invited.

Baekhyun blushes, “Yeah, that… I’m just really sorry if I offended you or something. You might think I’m a ert now, which I’m really not but ---”

“Really, Baekhyun. It’s okay. Besides, if there’s anyone here who has to say sorry, it’s me.” Chanyeol said. “I’m sorry for accusing you of something you didn’t do. And for intruding.”

“Why’re you here, anyway? Forgot your keys?” Baekhyun asked, remembering how his neighbor suddenly asked if he could stay in his house for a while.

“No. My roommate’s home.”

“Is his lover with him that’s why he kicked you out? I swear, I’m not really in the mood to listen to anyone or anything. Have some consideration, ugh.” Baekhyun asked, and for a minute there, Chanyeol didn’t understand what Baekhyun’s rambling about but his eyes widen when he does get it.

“Oh, no! No! God, no.” Chanyeol said and laughs. “He doesn’t really have time for those kinds of things. He’s just really busy for almost everyday, and when he’s in the room, he doesn’t really want anyone to disturb the little amount of time for him to rest.”

“He’s not always home?” Baekhyun asked, and Chanyeol nods. “Partying?”

Chanyeol shakes his head, no. “He doesn’t study in uni anymore.”

“I thought this dormitory is for students?”

“He used to be a student here in uni, but he had to work. Connections.” Chanyeol said, emphasizing the word connections. Baekhyun has a lot more to ask but Chanyeol cuts him off. “I’m not really allowed to say what my roommate does. So, I’ll just keep this topic hanging.”

Baekhyun nods, not really wanting to pry or anything. Comfortable silence surrounds them.

“Hey, Baekhyun?” Chanyeol calls. Baekhyun looks at him, waiting for him to continue what he’s about to say. “Can I sleep here for a while?”

Baekhyun looks like he wants to say something but decides against it. He just smiles and says, “Sure.”

 

Baekhyun thinks it’s weird, how comfortable he is with Chanyeol, even letting him sleep on his bed instead of the top one. He went home early for him to have some rest but seeing his neighbor’s state made him feel a strong sense of pity towards him. The guy looks like he hasn’t slept for a week now, and the last thing Baekhyun wants to do is to hinder him from having it.

Yet with Chanyeol just near him, he feels calm, familiar, comfortable. Something he has never felt strongly from the people who he has encountered. It’s like he’s made to give some warmth to him, and Baekhyun’s given the privilege to bask it all in.

He hears his neighbor mumbling in his sleep, and Baekhyun wonders if he’s already about to start sleepwalking but it’s already been hours since his neighbor’s sleeping on his bed (with him staring mindlessly, refusing to do any work) and no sleepwalking has happened yet.

He sees his neighbor stir, and hugs his favorite pillow. I wish I was that pillow, Baekhyun thought but he shakes his head, realizing what he just thought of.

I did not just think of that.

 

———

 

Baekhyun groans when he sees his mother’s text. She wants to meet him again, and Baekhyun isn’t really in the mood to meet his mother and listen to her endless antics.

So here was, looking for some way to actually evade this meeting. He can’t really say that he has a class. Baekhyun’s mother knows everything and by everything, he means his schedule, may it be for his classes or his from time to time partying with Sehun. He doesn’t know how or why, he just knows that his mother keeps tabs on him.

He texts Sehun if he can stay in his room for a while until his mother arrived, hoping that his friend would gladly save his from dying but Sehun only replied with a can’t, sorry. group meeting tonight, and that left Baekhyun on the slumps.

He really doesn’t want to meet his mother tonight. Not after their last meeting when she pestered him about having a boyfriend. He’s not in the mood to think about it. He knows his mother just wants him to be happy but right now, it’s not really his priority. So when he hears a door click from next door, he immediately had an idea.

Baekhyun opens his door and makes his way to the one next to his. He knocks hurriedly, looking at the side in case his mother comes early. Lucky for him, his neighbor opens the door immediately for him and he smiles brightly, looking like he’s such in a good mood.

“Hey there, neighbor.” Baekhyun said, still smiling. Chanyeol just looks at him weirdly, waiting for him to get to the point. “Can I crash in your place for a while? For like, an hour. Consider it as some sort of payment for letting you stay at my place.”

“I didn’t know I had to pay for it.” Chanyeol said, raising his brow, amused.

“I’d like to think that we had a silent agreement about it.” Baekhyun said, scratching the back of his head, suddenly shy. “Look, I just really need to stay away from my place for a while.”

Chanyeol’s not sure if he should accept it. After all, his roommate is not really someone who allows anyone to enter their room. But Baekhyun looks like he really needs to get away from something, so Chanyeol nods and lets him enter. “Put your shoes on the rack. My roommate’s kind of a neat freak. He doesn’t really appreciate any dirty stuff… let alone letting someone enter the room without his knowledge.” Chanyeol explains. Baekhyun just follows him, nodding.

“Don’t mention this to my roommate.” Chanyeol said, not really wanting his roommate (or him) to get into trouble.

“I don’t even know who your roommate is.”

“Good point.” he replies, tosses his keys on the desk and makes way to his drawer. “As much as I want to entertain you, I’d actually have to go in an hour.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I’d probably leave by that time anyways.” he said, looking around and seeing that everything’s in order, like it wasn’t even touched. “Your rooms looks really clean. Too clean, to be exact.”

“Yeah, what’d you expect? For our room to follow your room’s footsteps or something?” Chanyeol said, smirking. Baekhyun looks at him, bored. Not really in the mood to retort something sarcastic.

“Nah, just didn’t expect that there’s still a room that’s this clean.” Baekhyun said. He sits on a chair near to their study table and fishes out his phone to text his mom that he’s not available to meet since he’s going over to someone else’s house. It’s not entirely a lie, if Baekhyun would try to defend himself.

Baekhyun looks around, still amazed at how clean the place is. If he would compare it to his room, he would say that his room is a total disaster. This place is the exact opposite of it. No traces of any cookie crumbs or any bits of chips that can be normally seen in his place. Sehun would probably scream and leave any kind of mess if he’s in this room. If Baekhyun’s as careless as he, he would’ve done the same. It’s just too clean, like no one’s living here and nothing should change.

He hears a few shuffles, and a drawer being closed and another one opened. He watches his neighbor go to their shared comfort room and looks away immediately as soon as he closed the door, not really wanting to invade someone’s privacy. He doesn’t want to pry, so he just kept looking at things that would interest him.

What’s odd about the room he’s in is that there are no traces or anything that would indicate who Chanyeol’s roommate is. No pictures, books, or anything. Maybe a few clothes that’s kept hidden on the drawers that Chanyeol kept opening. Not that he’s too curious to check it, anyway. Their room is quite different to his. It’s a lot bigger than his room (or maybe he just has too many stuff everywhere), and instead of a bunk bed, there are two separate beds and two different nightstands -- the other one having nothing on top while the other one has the necessary things like keys, watch, and a--- Baekhyun squints, making sure that he’s looking at the right thing. It’s a music notebook and a polaroid on top of it.

He curiously looks at it for a while. He doesn’t dare to pick it up, but it’s clear to him it’s Chanyeol with some guy he’s not really familiar of. They look so happy, in love, in Baekhyun’s opinion at least. Is this his roommate and boyfriend? He’d be kind of disappointed if it is his boyfriend, but he won’t really dwell on it. Afterall, he believes that the good-looking ones are always either straight, gay, in a relationship, or gay and in a relationship.

He hears a door open and Baekhyun looks at the direction of it. He briefly forgets of his curiosity when he saw his neighbor placing his folded clothes on top of his bed. And Jesus, is he really allowed to look that good? Baekhyun thought as he gives his neighbor a onceover. The guy looks really good in a white button up long sleeves, black slacks, and an amazingly styled hair that Baekhyun’s honestly feeling so attacked right now because he knows his neighbor looks good, but he didn’t know that he can look that good.

Chanyeol sees him staring intently, and Baekhyun had to look away, blushing. Chanyeol chuckles and whispers cute, which Baekhyun hears and he feels his face heat up even more if that’s even possible.

“So, what’re you doing here, Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asked, breaking the silence. He motions Baekhyun to sit on his bed while he remains seated on the chair near his desk, waiting for the time that he has to go.

If Chanyeol wills himself to reason out, he could do things that he has to do to kill time and be productive. But right now, he had someone to entertain and be wary of, because he might see his roommate’s stuff and that’s not good. Yeah, Park Chanyeol, that’s the reason, he tells himself, not because of the company, yeah…

“My mom wants to meet up with me.” Baekhyun replies.

“Not in good terms?” Chanyeol guesses.

“No, not really.” Baekhyun said and shrugs. “I’m just not really in the mood to listen to her pestering me to get a boyfriend.”

“Ah, you swing that way?” Chanyeol asked, and Baekhyun raises his brow, challenging him to say some insult to him. “I have nothing against it, really.”

“Good.” Baekhyun said and nods. He sees Chanyeol opening his mouth then closing it, as if trying to refrain himself to say something. “What?” he asks.

“Um, I was just curious…” Chanyeol said, and clears his throat, “How did your mom find out about it?”

“What? That I prefer than ?” Baekhyun said brashly, making Chanyeol surprised. “Well, one day I just went home and introduced her to someone then when she asked whether it’s my boyfriend, I practically screamed ‘MOOOM, YOUR SON IS HOME AND HE’S GAY.’ I think I was a little drunk since I had to make myself have the courage to finally tell it to her. Needless to say, she understood the message of it and just accepted who I am. It’s not like she can do anything about it.” he said, and Chanyeol laughs, imagining a younger Baekhyun screaming he’s gay. It’s not really that hard to imagine.

They engage in a few moments of silence, with Chanyeol still smiling at the thought of a younger Baekhyun admitting that he’s gay. Baekhyun smirks and feels kind of proud that he can lighten up the mood.

What he said was true and he wasn’t the slightest ashamed of it whenever he tells the story to anyone else. It’s not really something too personal for him, and it was always good to share a story or two to someone.

Remembering the polaroid, he chooses to open the topic, hoping that it’s not something too personal to share to a neighbor.

“Since I said something about myself, why don’t you do the same? I have a few questions to ask.” Baekhyun said, clasping his hands as if trying to please the man to accept his offer.

“Is it always a give and take for you?” Chanyeol said and laughs when Baekhyun pouts. “Kidding. Sure.”

“Is this your roommate?” Baekhyun asked, holding up the polaroid. Chanyeol freezes, because what if he got too carried away and left something that would harm his roommate? He looks at it and feels his throat dry, recognizing the picture of him and Kyungsoo on their 2nd anniversary.

He can’t say he’s not affected by it, with the way his mood instantly gloomed and with how his stomach flopped with the mere thought of it. He still is. There are still days when he thinks of Kyungsoo (Yeah, not the nickname for a while) and how would they be if ever they’ve never broken up. In some days, he thinks of what could’ve happened if he fought for what he thinks is right, but he just dismisses the thought because he knows that it’s the best for the both of them. It was becoming toxic and they needed to leave it all.

It was a mistake, looking for that polaroid. He knew he brought it with him when he packed his things, along with his notebook full of songs made only for Kyungsoo, just for the sake of keeping an old memory, but seeing his neighbor holding it and waving it in front of him as if it was nothing, a wave of emotions has taken over his system, suddenly making him feel as if he’s fallen down in a bottomless pit.

He thinks he stared a bit too long at it, if the waving of the polaroid in front of him is a way of getting his attention. He shakes the sea of thoughts in his head and takes the polaroid out of his neighbor’s hand. Baekhyun was quite taken aback with such action but that didn’t stop him from asking. “So? Is he? Or is he your boyfriend?”

“No,” Chanyeol asks curtly. “He’s my ex.”

Baekhyun suddenly felt guilty for asking and he was about to say sorry about it, but he felt a tight grip on his arm, forcing him to stand up. He winces, “Chanyeol ----”

“Look, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol said, facing him. He felt himself shiver with the way Chanyeol looked at him, deadly like he doesn’t want to be touched nor to be talked to at the moment. “I have to go. And I don’t really think you should stay here any longer. I don’t know when will my roommate come back and I don’t want to get into trouble.” That’s a lie. Chanyeol perfectly knew when his roommate will come back, and it most certainly won’t be at this hour.

“But ---” he stops when Chanyeol slams the door and lets go of him, pointing at his door.

Before Baekhyun can even say he’s sorry, his neighbor mumbles a soft Later and walks past him, leaving Baekhyun confused and guilty for being such an insensitive curious little who doesn’t know how to stick to his own business.

Guess he’s the one who has to say sorry now.

 

———

 

Baekhyun hates coffee, but Sehun said there’s a good cafe near their dormitories that he thinks he should try. They don’t just sell coffee, Byun Baek, his friend said when he said that he wasn’t even interested in coffee to try and go there.

Well, here he was, Saturday night, making his way to this so-called cafe that his friend is recommending. It’s not like he’ll lose something just by going to spend some short time in a cafe. He even brought some of his books, hoping that being in a (hopefully) quiet place, he’ll be able to study ahead of time (yeah, no more procrastinating).

The smell of coffee is already reaching him and Baekhyun had to cover his nose for a short time because the smell is just so strong yet calming at the same time. He’s not gonna lie, the smell of the coffee is enticing but his interest to drinking coffee did not even increase even the slightest bit.

The glass door chimes when he opens it, gaining attention from the people who were in there, studying. It’s a 24/7 cafe so he’s not really surprised to see students studying at this time of the night. He glances at the blackboard near the counter, trying to choose what to order. He sees a variety of choices but somehow, he doesn’t really know what to choose. He’ll probably just ask the person near the counter of what to order.

Baekhyun sees a sign, Ring me if you order! it says. So, he pressed the button and after a few seconds, a guy smiling shows up in front of him, “Hi! What can I get you?” the guy said. Baekhyun looks at his nametag and reads Luhan. Charming name.

“I’m not really sure what to get…” Baekhyun said truthfully. “Is there anything you’d recommend that’s not caffeinated?”

“A frappe.”

“Oh, okay. I’m good with that.” he said, looking at the list of frappes available. “I’ll just have the strawberry one.”

“Please write down your name and I’ll have someone serve it to you.” Luhan said, giving him a small paper to write his name onto. Once done, he looked for a place to put his things on and wait for his order.

He doesn’t wait long for his order to arrive. He hears a familiar voice call his name and he promptly raises his hand for him to be seen. The person placed his order on his table and Baekhyun looks up to say thank you, but he forgets what he was going to say when he sees the one who served his order.

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun said, and only a nod in his direction was given to acknowledge his presence. His gaze lingered for a while, curious at seeing the guy working at this time. He didn’t even know that the guy had a part time job, not that they’re close anyway.

He was curious, very much so. And he decided to stay for a while until his neighbor ends his shift. Maybe later would be a good time to say sorry about what happened last time. He tried doing it as soon as possible but his neighbor wasn’t really in his room when he is, or maybe he’s just ignoring him on purpose, not really wanting to have another argument.

He sighs, and looks at his neighbor for the last time before opening his book, mind still wondering about the too good looking guy who served his frappe so formally, as if they have never met.

 

———

 

Chanyeol didn’t really want to interact with his neighbor, not after their silent argument. He doesn’t know why conversations with Baekhyun end up him being an absolute jackass, and feeling guilty a few minutes after blurting out stupid words he didn’t really mean. He really didn’t want to talk to him again, afraid that he would only end up heating up their argument but seeing Baekhyun sleeping, drooling even, here in the cafe made him think that it would be best if he at least wake him up. He deliberated whether he should just leave his neighbor in a such uncomfortable position or wake him up so that they can walk back to their dorms together.

He chose the latter.

“Hey Baekhyun,” Chanyeol said, slightly shaking him. “Wake up.”

Baekhyun whimpers, brows drawing together, obviously not having fun with someone waking him up. Chanyeol shakes him but Baekhyun only groans and says, “Shut up and give me my blanket and my pillow… uggggggh.”

Chanyeol didn’t really have the heart to leave him, not when he looks like he’s not in the right state. Chanyeol shakes him again, this time with a little bit more force. “Baekhyun, wake up.”

“,” Baekhyun cussed, groaning. “Why, why, why? Why would you wake someone up?” he said absentmindedly, still not aware of where he is.

“I don’t think you’ll like it if you wake up in a cafe…” Chanyeol said and that’s when Baekhyun’s eyes snap open and looks at his surroundings. He slaps his own forehead, disappointed that he only ended up sleeping instead of doing actual reading. So much for trying to study ahead of time.

“Thanks for waking me up,” Baekhyun said, yawning. “What time is it?”

“It’s half past 1.” Chanyeol said, not aware of the way he looks at Baekhyun fondly, amused with how everything Baekhyun does seems to be cute for him.

“Already?” Baekhyun asked, and Chanyeol nods. “Is your shift done?”

“Yeah, do you wanna go back together?” Chanyeol asked, and Baekhyun was quite taken aback when he heard him say that. Even he himself was caught off guard of how casual he said it, sounding so normal for a person who’s not that close with the one he’s talking to anyway.

Baekhyun smiles at him, “Only because you asked so nicely.” he said, teasing. Chanyeol can still see some drool on the side of his cheek. He doesn’t know why or where he got the courage to, but his hands look like it has its own mind as he reaches for his handkerchief from his pocket, and wipes it for him. Baekhyun’s face heats up, confused with what made Chanyeol do that. He’s pretty sure he didn’t have ketchup or anything on his face since he didn’t eat anything besides drink a frappe, oh my god was it the whipped cream? “What ---”

“Drool.” Chanyeol said, smirking. He doesn’t know that it’s even possible for a person to blush this much, not until he saw Baekhyun. The guy’s face is red, almost the same shade as his bright red hair.

“You could’ve told me!” Baekhyun said, wiping his face with his hands just to make sure none is left. “I’m so embarrassed right now… oh god.”

Chanyeol just laughs, not really minding what he just did. He admits that he was confused why he did that but seeing Baekhyun look so flustered like this just brightens up his mood. It just felt right when he did that, like it’s something he should do if it happens again.

He sees Baekhyun struggling with the things he brought, and today he’s just full of surprises --- he helped Baekhyun carry it, taking the initiative to bring his books instead of letting him put it on his bag. Baekhyun looks at him, mouth agape, confused with Chanyeol’s actions. “Come on.” Chanyeol said, and Baekhyun breaks out from his trance and follows Chanyeol on the way out.

It was quite cold outside, making Baekhyun shiver slightly. He puffs out his cheeks and rubs his hands to provide himself some heat. Chanyeol sees him, and he wants to offer something, but he didn’t really bring his coat or his hoodie with him, and why should he offer something to him? Chanyeol thought, thinking how ridiculous it is to consider even offering his own coat just for the sake of his neighbor. Gentleman instincts, that’s all.

“Hey, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun said, unsure. Chanyeol glances at him, nodding as if to assure him that he’s listening to what he’s about to say. “I just want to say I’m sorry. About last time. I’m sorry for sticking my nose into your business. Really, I am. I was just… curious, that’s all.”

“Stop wasting your time with sorries, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol said and chuckles. “I’m the one who has to say sorry again.”

“No, I was being insensitive ---”

“No, Baekhyun. I was being unfair to you.” Chanyeol said and stops walking. Baekhyun does the same and looks at him. “I feel like I owe you an explanation.”

“Really, Chanyeol. You don’t have to.” Baekhyun said. He doesn’t want Chanyeol to feel uncomfortable just to prove that he’s really sorry about what happened.

“I have to. It’s better if you know why,” Chanyeol said, and Baekhyun wants to convince him that he doesn’t have to, but Chanyeol only shakes his head and continues with what he’s going to say.

A few minutes of silence surrounds them as they continue walking back to the dormitories. Baekhyun waits patiently for Chanyeol to open up, not really wanting to look as if he’s too curious about what his neighbor is about to say. He hears Chanyeol sigh and ruffles his own hair before proceeding to his story.

“My ex-boyfriend, Kyungsoo, broke up with me.” Chanyeol started, and Baekhyun only keeps his mouth shut, and waits for him to continue. “It wasn’t really because of him, I mean that’s what he kept saying. I was the one at fault, and maybe after years of trying to understand me, he finally had enough. I understood him. At the back of my mind, I knew it was going to happen soon, because of everything that’s happening between us. I mean, why would someone even foresee a breakup instead of actually trying to avoid it from happening, right?” Chanyeol asked, lost, and Baekhyun only nods in understanding. “At first I was okay. My head’s a mess, but it was still manageable. However, as the days pass by, lots of what ifs, what could’ve beens, and dreams were tangling in my mind and it just became unbearable. I had to look for some distraction, hence the part time jobs…”

“Jobs? Like, plural? Job with an s?” Baekhyun asked, surprised. Chanyeol nods and answers, “Yeah, I also work in the library during breaks. It helps with my fees.” Baekhyun nods, brows furrowed, confused yet also amazed, because how can someone manage his time with that much to do?

“I tried really hard to forget about him. I guess one day, a part of me missed him, and that made me look for the things that might at least make me feel like there’s still some flame that I could ignite. I mean, 4 years of relationship, there has got to be something that I brought with me to at least hold on to something. That’s when I saw my music notebook and the polaroid you saw. I guess I kind of snapped, looking at you holding it as if it’s not something important.”

“I’m really sorry, Chanyeol. I didn’t mean it to look that way.” Baekhyun said, guilty. He can be a little careless sometimes without meaning it. Chanyeol just nods understandingly.

Chanyeol purposely left out the story about his best friend and Kyungsoo, deeming it to be unimportant and not really something Baekhyun should know of. Plus, he was true to his words that he’d rather make others think that he was the only one at fault. Just as Chanyeol ended his story, they were already back to their building, side by side with a comfortable silence in their atmosphere.

“Hey, this is the exact same place where I first saw you sleepwalking.” Baekhyun said, breaking the silence, and Chanyeol looks at him, shocked. “Don’t look so surprised. The first time I saw you sleepwalk, I thought you were a ghost. I was scared that time.”

For a while, Chanyeol looks flabbergasted, not sure of what to say but then he laughs loudly, “You thought I was a ghost?” he asked and laughed again.

“Well, you were wearing all white… and it was 3 AM, what else would I think?”

Chanyeol laughed again, even slapping his arms as he imagines Baekhyun running in the halls, trying to run away from him. He even imagines him screaming like the ones in the horror movies.

Baekhyun continued to share his stories about his incidents with Chanyeol sleepwalking and scaring the out of him, and Chanyeol thinks he’s never laughed so much, not until he listened to Baekhyun’s exaggerated stories.

They soon arrive at their floor, with Chanyeol still chuckling and Baekhyun smiling, looking at him endearingly. It’s good to see him smiling.

“Say, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun starts, and Chanyeol looks at him, wiping a few tears that fell from laughing so hard. “I’m not really feeling sleepy right now. Do you have anything to do?”

Chanyeol has a lot to do, and he’s tired. But he’s never really had this much fun after the breakup, and a man has to have fun every once in a while, right?

“Not that much, really.” he lied. He knows he’ll regret this if he thinks about it too much, but right now, all he wants is some fun and being with Baekhyun is.

“What do you say we have a drink?” Baekhyun offered. Chanyeol beams at him and nods, more than willing to.

 

———

 

The rest of the weeks were spent with Baekhyun going to the cafe and studying (ogling), and waiting for Chanyeol to finish his shift. At first, Chanyeol didn’t want him to wait up for him since his shift always ends too late at night, and he fears that if Baekhyun would stay and wait for him, he’ll only end up being a little bit too tired and restless when he gets home. Baekhyun just shrugs him off, opting to reply with an I’m used to it, and Chanyeol just drops the topic. Chanyeol thinks it’s not healthy, but then again, he does the same, so he wasn’t really going to go all smart with it.

After Chanyeol’s shift, they would go to Baekhyun’s room and end up either studying, watching a movie, or getting drunk. Not that the both of them care, but if they actually end up doing something productive then all is well as long as it’s fun.

“What do you do in your life, Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asks, tearing his gaze from his screen, “I mean, what are you studying?”

“I pretty much study movies, T.V series, and Major in I Do Not Do Anything Good in My Life Except Procrastinating. Sounds exciting, yeah?” Baekhyun answers, laughing at the way Chanyeol rolls his eyes. “I’m kidding. It’s IT.”

“Oh,” Chanyeol says, not really knowing what to say, “That’s cool…”

“Not as cool as a person who studies Biology and can even have jobs in between. Now that’s what you call a good time management.” Baekhyun says, smiling sincerely at him, and Chanyeol appreciates how Baekhyun’s supportive of his chosen major. Unlike other people who belittle the said course, and thinking he’ll have no benefit in it.

They fall into a silence after it, with Chanyeol returning his gaze from the screen. He can hear Baekhyun humming a familiar song, and Chanyeol can’t help swaying his head to the beat of it.

“Maybe you should start to rest more and avoid having too much stress.” Baekhyun says when he was fixing his things since he was done with whatever he’s doing (A world record!).

Chanyeol hums, not removing his eyes from the screen. “Why?”

“I guess it’s because of it that’s why you have this habit of sleepwalking. Or maybe it’s hereditary.” he said. Chanyeol stops typing and looks at him and raises his brow. “What? I read a book about sleeping that time when I was helping you in the library. Then again, I’m not really that educated about it so maybe you should try asking a professional about it…”

Chanyeol just shrugs and looks at his screen again, “I’m not that busy anymore, and I’m getting a hang of it. Don’t worry about me.” he said and smiles.

 

 

Baekhyun’s been helping Chanyeol in the library every lunch. They have the same time for lunch, anyways so it’s not really a problem for the both of them. Chanyeol just looked at him incredulously, shaking his head as if he can’t believe that someone is actually willing to help him without having any money as a payment in return.

 

Even Baekhyun was surprised why he suddenly wanted to help Chanyeol. Sehun too, even whining about being left out and then teasing him how much effort he does for his “crush”. Baekhyun slaps his arm, and blushes, not denying anything and not really confirming it.

Maybe it was because of that time when Chanyeol mentioned that he didn’t really eat lunch because most of his time was spent in the library to assist people or return books to their shelves. Maybe once or twice a week does he get the chance to eat properly at the school’s provided cafeteria. Baekhyun was baffled because how can someone not eat, right?

That’s when Baekhyun started helping out Chanyeol. Chanyeol refused at first, but like the time in the cafe, Baekhyun just shrugs and says, “I don’t mind.”, not considering that maybe Chanyeol does. Chanyeol’s not going to lie though, being with Baekhyun is being with a good company, and his library work is a lot more fun with him saying nonsense like his undying love for his pillow, instead of him being stuck with shelves, and boring lecture recordings.

It even came to the point wherein Chanyeol joins Baekhyun and Sehun at lunch, with Sehun ending up being kicked on the shin because he kept on wiggling his brows at Baekhyun, not even trying to be discreet.

“Say, Chanyeol, don’t you have any other friends besides Byun?” Sehun asked, and Baekhyun coughs, spitting some biscuits on the table, with Sehun looking at him with pure disgust, and Chanyeol offering him water while rubbing his back.

“I actually do have other friends,” Chanyeol said while wiping the side of Baekhyun’s lips with some napkin as if it’s second nature. Sehun raises his brow at the gesture but decides not to point it out. “Luhan, from the cafe and Jongin, whom I rarely see because he’s either busy or partying. We still get to hang around sometimes, though.” he said.

“Yeah, Jongin, I’ve seen him lots of times from the clubs that I go to. Even had a drink with him once.” Sehun said, nodding. “No other friends? I mean, you basically hang out with Baekhyun here almost every day, and I’ve never really seen you hang out with any other. Not that I’m complaining, anyway. You’re a good company.”

“No other friends since I basically cut a lot of people off, especially after what happened. I’m kind of busy too, but I make it a point to interact with others from time to time. Don’t want to be a loner or something.” Chanyeol explained. Sehun looks like he was about to probe for more but Baekhyun lightly pinches his arm and looks at him with a piercing gaze, Don’t. That doesn’t stop him though, but the one that makes him shut up is the way Baekhyun’s gaze softens when Chanyeol held his arm, gaining his attention, and smiles at him as if they’re having a silent conversation.

Sehun drops the topic, with him still confused while looking at his best friend and Chanyeol acting a little bit too sweet to be called as friends.

 

———

 

It’s December, and it has been one or two months since Baekhyun and Chanyeol first spent some time together to actually know each other and become friends. It’s probably the best thing that has happened to him this year, and he can’t say how thankful he is for gaining a new friend that he actually wants to cherish and protect.

If Baekhyun compares his friendship with Chanyeol between his friendship with Sehun, there’s a slight contrast to it. If Baekhyun’s friendship with Sehun is full of sarcasm, shenanigans and a lot more partying, his friendship with Chanyeol is different. Yes, there’s sarcasm, shenanigans, and some other stuff but there’s more, like the way he provides warmth to Baekhyun, and he can be comfortable as much as he wants without worrying whether he’s being a little too clingy or affectionate. Chanyeol just lets him be.

In some days, he finds himself staring a little bit too long at his friend, a lot different with his friendship with Sehun, and he ends up wondering why. He admits that Chanyeol’s good looking, too good looking in fact, but sometimes, he just finds himself staring, and losing himself while Chanyeol chatters about how his day was. Chanyeol would often ask him whether he’s okay, and he would reply with the usual I’m fine and Chanyeol would just nod understandingly, stick closer to him and give him some warmth as he places his arm on his shoulder and pull him closer to his side.

Now that’s not something Baekhyun’s friendship with Sehun has. They don’t go affectionate with each other unless necessary, but with Chanyeol, it’s always like that. Like they act as friends, but even more. Baekhyun’s confused with how sweet Chanyeol is, treating him highly, and fragile, always being there for him even when he’s busy. He calls him at night when they don’t get to spend some time together, or just calling him or texting in between breaks when they’re not together just to ask how his day was or to tell him that he’s got a pretty high score for his test. Baekhyun isn’t complaining. He even likes it, but in some days, it makes him confused, wondering why his heart beats fast by the mere mention of his friend’s name, or why his gaze lingers on Chanyeol’s lips a little bit too long for it to be called something normal. Chanyeol makes him feel things he shouldn’t even feel in a platonic friendship.

Just like now as he looks at Chanyeol grinning bashfully at a girl who’s obviously trying to charm him, a feeling of jealousy is building up in him, and he can’t seem to fathom why. Is he being jealous because his friend is gaining another friend and might leave him alone if she’s a nice company or is he jealous because he wants to be the only one Chanyeol looks at? He doesn’t know which, but the feeling is making him sick.

Chanyeol looks at his directions and waves. Baekhyun smiles and waves back, jealousy still there but less so. He sees Chanyeol excuse himself, and walks towards him, a cup of coffee on his hand.

“Sorry. Had to talk to her about our project.” Chanyeol said, scratching the back of his head.

“Yeah, I figured.” Baekhyun said, shrugging. “It hurt the eyes while looking at the both of you.” he whispered, rolling his eyes.

“What?” Chanyeol asked, moving closer to hear him clearly.

“Nothing.” he replied and shrugged. Chanyeol just looks at him intently, not believing what he just said. “Really, Chanyeol, it was nothing.” he reassured, and proceeds to rub his own arms to lessen the cold he’s feeling. Chanyeol notices it and stops.

“Wait. Hold this.” Chanyeol said and gives him his cup of coffee, which Baekhyun accepts. Chanyeol removes his scarf, moves closer, and wraps it around his neck. Baekhyun’s breath hitches. Chanyeol was too close, and it had caught Baekhyun off guard. He feels his face heat up, and he had to close his eyes, not wanting to stare more at his friend’s lips almost on his forehead. “Why’d you not bring your scarf? You know it’s freezing out here.”

“Don’t be like this, Chanyeol…” Baekhyun said in a ghost-like whisper.

Chanyeol furrows his brows, and asks, “Don’t what?”

Don’t make me fall for you when I shouldn’t be.

 

———

 

“So, is Chanyeol your boyfriend now or what?” Sehun asks casually as they play Mario Kart.

“No,” Baekhyun said, still focused. “What makes you ask that?”

“Okay, let’s get things straight here.” Sehun said and paused the game. Baekhyun groans, and glares at his friend. “We have to talk about this.”

“Okay, fine.” Baekhyun replied, scoffing. “We’re not in a relationship, okay? We’re just friends, that’s all.”

“Sure, you are.” Sehun said, rolling his eyes, clearly not believing his friend. “Friends, sure. I mean, good friends just give a spare key to your room, right? Good friends wait up for someone until 1 AM just to spend time with them, watch some movies, cram together, right?”

“I do that with you---”

“Good friends stare at his friend too much and too long that there’s practically hearts in your eyes?” Sehun said, smirking upon seeing his friend blushing, “I’m 100% sure that that’s what friends do. Oh, and oh, good friends let someone borrow their favorite pillow just because his friend said he missed your scent.”

Baekhyun doesn’t say anything, clearly aware of what Sehun is pointing out.

“I don’t know, Byun, but we’re definitely not like that.” Sehun said, serious. “You don’t even let me borrow your favorite pillow.” he added, remembering the day where he stayed for Baekhyun for a while to have an intense match of Mario Kart when suddenly, Chanyeol knocked and borrowed his pillow. Sehun gasped, even covering his mouth, when Baekhyun gave Chanyeol his favorite pillow.

“I…” Baekhyun starts, at loss of words, “Look, Sehun, I’m telling you the truth. We’re not dating.”

“But you like him?” Sehun asked, and Baekhyun only nods, biting his bottom lip. “Then what’s stopping you?”

Baekhyun sighs, “I just… I just think he’s not ready yet. I mean, he just broke up with his boyfriend, and I don’t think he wants someone in his life right now. And don’t you think it’s too fast for me to feel something for him? It’s alarming.”

“Lots of people fall in a short time.” Sehun points out, and Baekhyun looks at him, aghast. “And most people get over a failed relationship in just a few weeks---”

“Yeah, lots of people do that’s why lots of people break,” Baekhyun said sharply. “It took me years to move on, Sehun. 3 years, to be exact. Not all people can get over things easily.” he said, gritting his teeth, and clenching his fists, remembering a painful memory of his that has scarred him.

Sehun realizes what he said, so he holds his hands to calm him down. “I know, Baekhyun. I just… I just want you to be happy. And when I saw that you were happy with Chanyeol, I thought maybe he’s the one already, and that he’ll be the one who’ll cherish you the most, not as a friend, but as a lover…”

“Too bad he’s not.” Baekhyun said, sighing. “I appreciate the thought, Sehun, but if Chanyeol is the one, then right now is not the right time for us to be together but someday it will be.”

“Okay, Baekhyun, if you say so.” Sehun said, and smiles. “Just know that if you guys will end up together, then I’ll be very much supportive but if he breaks your heart, tell me then I’ll break his nose.”

Baekhyun laughs, and says, “Didn’t know you had this kind of side, Sehun. It’s nice. I felt the undying love.”

“Shut up.”

“No need to sound so jealous when it comes to Chanyeol. You know you’re my best friend and that I’m grateful to have you in my life, BFF.”

“I just got goosebumps. Look, my hair’s literally sticking out just by hearing the word jealous, Jesus.” Sehun said, even pointing his arm as a proof. Baekhyun laughs at him, but stops when he hears keys jingling at the other side of the door. “I think that’s my cue to leave.” he said.

He stands up and quickly makes his way to the door, opening it to see a surprised Chanyeol just about to open the door. “Hey there, my friend.”

“Hey, Sehun.” Chanyeol said and steps aside to let Sehun out.

“Take care of my friend. See ya.” he said, and salutes.

Chanyeol gets his key from the knob and enters Baekhyun’s room. He looks at Baekhyun and he’s just there, sitting but looking lost. “Is everything okay?”

Baekhyun just stares at him, mouth agape, like it’s the first time he saw him in his usual white button up outfit. He looks like that for a few minutes, at loss for words and Chanyeol has to repeat his question to get his attention.

“Um, yeah, definitely. Good.” he said, looking away.

Something about Baekhyun’s tone or the way Baekhyun looks (not because he missed him after a few hours of not being with him, definitely not. he said to himself) makes Chanyeol want to wrap his arms around him to provide comfort, and to calm him down.

Baekhyun was shocked, and he was frantic. He didn’t want Chanyeol to feel his heartbeat quickening, and he wanted to pull away from the hug because, why is he like this, all sweet and caring? But instead of letting him go, Chanyeol hugs him tighter, making him bask the scent of the man. It stops him from moving too much, and before he knows it, he’s wrapping his arms around Chanyeol, hugging him back.

He feels comforted, safe, in Chanyeol’s arms and maybe that’s what makes him bury his face on his chest, lulled by the calm sound of Chanyeol’s heartbeat. He closes his eyes, and relishes this feeling.

He hugs him back, tighter if even possible.

He doesn’t want to let go.

 

———

 

Baekhyun doesn’t want to feel things he has no control over. Over the past years, he has learned his lesson that he should not let his feelings take over his system and control him. That’s why when he started to realize that he likes Chanyeol (finally admitting it), all he wanted to do was try to avoid any unnecessary thoughts that would only lead to him being uncomfortable around his friend, or worse, Chanyeol being uncomfortable with him.

Yet Chanyeol makes it hard for him not to do so.

At first, all Baekhyun seeks is his warmth. He thinks of how nice it is to cuddle with him, to just hug him whenever he feels like it, to borrow his oversized sweaters because it looks so warm and cozy. Really, it’s all like that at first, but Chanyeol just had to make things harder for Baekhyun. It’s a torture.

Whenever Chanyeol leans near him, his eyes would automatically look at Chanyeol’s lips, wondering how it would feel to have it against his. One time, he almost touched it. It just looks soft, and Baekhyun really can’t help wondering what it feels like. It’s a good thing he stopped himself from touching it or else it would’ve been awkward to explain why he did such thing. He kept on thinking about it, and he wanted to beat himself up just to stop his thoughts. That night, he dreamt of Chanyeol kissing him passionately in his room, and Baekhyun remembered that it felt so good in his dreams. What more of it’s already real?

Baekhyun doesn’t want to think about it.

Really, Baekhyun doesn’t want to. He would gladly drink anything just to forget what’s on his mind.

But it seems like Chanyeol doesn’t want him to. He thinks Chanyeol is doing everything on purpose, silently making fun of him whenever he catches Baekhyun staring at him, at his lips, and blushing. It’s unfair. He doesn’t know how much he affects him.

It’s really unfair when one day he was just sitting on his bed and Chanyeol just so casually went into his room after his shift and s his white button up sleeves in front of him while complaining about his day. He didn’t even get the chance to say hi, because oh my god, Chanyeol is undressing in front of him, and it looks so hot. Baekhyun thinks he just had a seeing it.

Baekhyun blames it to his inactive life.

It’s a good thing that Chanyeol was busy fumbling with his clothes that he didn’t see Baekhyun’s intent stare at him, quietly having a battle against his temptations in life. Baekhyun sees Chanyeol still talking but not a word can be heard from him, not when his mind has gone literally blank after what he saw.

Maybe someone has to tell Chanyeol that Baekhyun’s a normal boy with hormones that is hard to control at the moment.

“So, what do you think?” Chanyeol asked and looks at him. He sees Baekhyun just staring at him, nodding dumbly at something. Chanyeol waves his hand in front of him but it doesn’t seem to work. “Baekhyun?” Still no response.

Chanyeol flicks his forehead and Baekhyun yelps, surprised at the sudden pain on his forehead. “What?” Can’t you see that I’m busy?

“I was asking you about whether I should go or not.” Chanyeol asked, and if Baekhyun could even say “??????” in words, that would probably be his reply. Chanyeol sighs when he looks at Baekhyun’s blank face. Looks like Baekhyun spaced out again. “Nevermind.”

Baekhyun’s just there, looking lost. And Chanyeol’s worried because Baekhyun is never this quiet whenever they’re together. Sure, a few seconds of silence happens but not this long. “Baekhyun, are you okay?”

“Huh?” Baekhyun asks dumbly, mind still replaying the way Chanyeol just entered his room and ed his clothes in front of him.

“You look so red,” Chanyeol commented, “It looks almost the same as your hair. Are you sick?” he asks and cups his face. Baekhyun immediately removes his touch and stands up fast, almost jumping, trying to avoid Chanyeol.

“Are you okay?” Chanyeol asked again, worry evident on his voice.

“I,” Baekhyun’s voice quivers, and he had to take a few deep breaths to calm himself down. “I’m okay. I mean, why not, right? There’s nothing wrong, alright? I’m okay, totally! God, why does it suddenly feel so hot in here?” he said, flustered and fanned himself just to prove that he’s beginning to feel hot all of a sudden.

“It’s freezing, Baekhyun. Are you sure you’re alright?” Chanyeol said and stands up to move closer to Baekhyun but Baekhyun only steps back every time he takes a step towards him. “Are you avoiding me? Did I do something?”

YES. Who allowed you to be that hot? I honestly feel so attacked right now, “You didn’t do anything. Nothing. I just, uh, remembered something. I’m okay now.” he said, smiling nervously at him.

“Are you sure?” Chanyeol asks him again and steps forward, this time Baekhyun doesn’t step back. Baekhyun nods and just smiles at him reassuringly. “Okay, if you say so.”

“Why don’t you tell me about your day?” Baekhyun asks to avoid further questions about what just happened and tries to sit as far away as possible from Chanyeol. “I kind of spaced out a while ago. I’ll listen now.”

“Are you sure you’re okay, Baek?” Chanyeol asks again, and Baekhyun tries not to blush at the given nickname. Baekhyun only nods and looks down to avoid Chanyeol’s worried gaze. “Then come here.” he said and pats his bed, offering him to sit beside him. Baekhyun reluctantly follows him, hoping that he has fully calmed down after what happened.

 

 

Baekhyun definitely isn’t okay with it.

It’s been days and he still thinks about it, even up to the point where he imagines himself touching his body and leaving marks on it. Now, Baekhyun thinks of what it feels like to kiss Chanyeol, what it would feel like to touch his body, and what it would feel like if Chanyeol touched him with those sinful lips. It’s getting wild on Baekhyun’s head now that he practically had to avoid Chanyeol for a few days just to clear his head from any of his lustful thoughts.

It was hard to control his sudden urges, but it was harder to avoid Chanyeol, not when they basically spend a lot of time together for almost every day. Chanyeol definitely wasn’t making it easier for him. He was always calling him, asking him whether he’s okay, or if he needs him to come over and Baekhyun had to bite the inside of his cheek, thinking of a lie that would sound reasonable enough for Chanyeol not to meet him for a while. It definitely wasn’t easy.

But Baekhyun really can’t stop himself, not when Chanyeol texted him a simple i miss you, and Baekhyun tried really hard to resist the urge to just drop everything and go to him. He wanted to see Chanyeol right there and then just to hug him and tell him that he misses him too, even if just being away from him for a few days.

Who was he kidding? Even before, he misses Chanyeol even if they were just together a few hours ago. So, what’s so different now that he hasn’t spent time with Chanyeol for days? He misses him even more than before. It’s ing scary for Baekhyun, so overwhelming. It’s getting out of his control but he’s not even trying to stop it.

Even now when he’s eating his lunch alone (because Sehun is a who left him for some guy), he’s thinking of whether he should go to Chanyeol. Absentmindedly, he texts his friend asks where he is, and he immediately regrets doing so. So much for trying to control myself. Baekhyun just hopes Chanyeol doesn’t see his reply immediately.

Except it’s as if fate is already tired of him running away, he feels his phone vibrate and he almost dropped his bread, surprised. He wipes his hands with a napkin before getting his phone to look at who messaged him, and he had felt himself stop breathing when he sees the name Chanyeol on the screen. Baekhyun closed his eyes first before he swipes his phone to view the message.

From: Chanyeol

i’m at the library. see u.

Baekhyun hit his head on the table because , why did he have to ask Chanyeol where he was? Now, he thinks he’s going to meet him and Baekhyun doesn’t want to be a jerk who doesn’t mean his words. He doesn’t want Chanyeol to wait for him for nothing. And mostly, he just misses Chanyeol. Is it wrong to meet a friend he hasn’t seen for a few days?

Baekhyun hopes it’s not.

He runs to the library, not minding the stares and a few hey!s directed at him. Right now, all he wants to see is Chanyeol, and he doesn’t mind letting his feelings control him for now.

He was already in front of the library, and he had to stop for a while to catch his breath. He pushes all the doubts and negative thoughts that he has in his mind and clears his head. He straightens his shirt, and combs his hair with his fingers, and puffs a bit of air before he enters.

The cold air from the library embraces him, and he slightly shivered. He rubs his hands together as he looks around to look for the person he’s been dying to see these past few days.

He sees a familiar figure near the shelves, earphones on and looking busy as usual. Baekhyun slowly and quietly makes his way towards him. For Baekhyun, just seeing him like this is enough for everything to be tuned out, leaving everyone on the background and nothing else except him and Chanyeol.

Baekhyun taps Chanyeol lightly, and Chanyeol spins around and his eyes go wide as he sees who is in front of him. “Baekhyun!” he said loudly, and Baekhyun visibly flinches at how loud Chanyeol called him, but it seems like Chanyeol doesn’t even care, and grins at him.

He looks around and sees a few glares from a few students and he bows apologetically to them. It came into a halt when Chanyeol suddenly hugged him tightly, and before he can even process what just happened, Chanyeol broke out from the hug, placed his hands on his shoulders, and looks at him in the eye, still grinning. Then he hugged him again, and Baekhyun doesn’t hesitate hugging him back, chuckling.

“Missed me that much?” Baekhyun asked, and he had to stop his heart from beating too much when he felt Chanyeol nod. “Alright, I know you miss me, but we’re not exactly allowed to do PDA in here. I think I can see the librarian glaring at us.” he said, surprisingly calm. Chanyeol lets go of him and just grins, eye twitching.

Baekhyun was about to help him but Chanyeol stopped him and shook his head. “Why?”

“Just look for a place to sit. I’m almost done.” Chanyeol said and motions him to look for a place. Baekhyun wants to help but Chanyeol just kept on shaking his head, so he just follows what he wants.

It wasn’t really hard to look for a place, since the library is surprisingly kind of isolated today. He chooses the place near the shelves, away from the piercing gaze of the librarian so that if they make any loud noise, he won’t receive any scowling looks like the usual from her.

He places his things on the table and gets his book as a prop (because really, he’s not here to study). His eyes wander around for a while, until his gaze just automatically followed his friend wherever he went, not knowing what to do. He patiently waits for his friend who looks at him from time to time as he puts the books in the right place in a haste, looking like he can’t believe Baekhyun’s just there waiting for him. Baekhyun just smiles at him and forgets about how fast his heart is beating. He looks down and sighs, he really needs to learn how to control himself.

He waits for a while, with him flipping the pages of his book lazily, not trying to study even for a bit. He knows he should be productive but right now, he’s just not in the right state. Baekhyun knows he’ll regret it and he can already hear his procrastinating self-rejoicing, ready for a comeback later past midnight. He hits his head on the table, trying to wake himself up from his stupidity and poor life choices.

He sits up when somebody taps his shoulder, and for a minute there, he thought that it was the librarian being oversensitive with the noise again, but his breath hitches when he sees Chanyeol peering closely at him, leaving little space between them. His eyes unconsciously looks at Chanyeol’s plump lips, and he blinks and looks away. He doesn’t see the way Chanyeol looked at his.

Baekhyun clears his throat and goes back to flipping the pages of his book. “So, how are you?”

“Good.” Chanyeol said, “How about you? Are you okay? Were you sick?” he asked worriedly.

“I was sick for a few days.” he lied.

“But you weren’t there whenever I go to your room before my shift, and you were always already asleep whenever I go to your room after my shift. Is there something wrong?” Chanyeol asks, and places his hand on top of his hand, drawing small circles, giving Baekhyun some warmth he missed.

“Nothing, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun said, feeling comfortable with the way Chanyeol holds his hand. “Just feeling under the weather, that’s all.”

“Are you sure?” he asks, and Baekhyun looks at him, and he sees Chanyeol looking at him intently. So intense that Baekhyun had to look away immediately, making him remove his hand from Chanyeol’s gentle touch. “Baek?” he called, confusion evident in his voice.

“I’m sure, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun said, feeling uncomfortable as he feels the heavy gaze on him. “Why don’t you tell me how you were these past few days? I haven’t seen you around. You must be very busy.” he said and looks at him straight into his eyes.

Chanyeol chatters about how his day was, voice low and quiet since they were still in the library. He can’t seem to remove his gaze on Baekhyun, and it had Baekhyun uncomfortable, yet he doesn’t want to look away. Just like a while ago, his eyes automatically look at Chanyeol’s soft lips, thinking of how soft it was and how it would feel like to be kissed by it.

Chanyeol was still talking about a certain professor that he was pissed on, but his eyes were still on his lips, and this time, he can’t look away.

Is it wrong to assume that his feelings are requited? Chanyeol gives him mixed signals, always so sweet, so boyfriend material, the perfect one to be with for the rest of his life. He wants to know if there’s a chance, if he’s not reading all the signs wrong. He wants to assure himself that he wants this, that Chanyeol wants this as much as he does.

He leans forward, and Chanyeol stops talking when he sees Baekhyun leaning, looking at his lips. It seems like everything stopped, and Chanyeol forgot how to breathe as Baekhyun moves even closer, leaving a few spaces between the both of them. He can feel Baekhyun’s hot breath and it’s driving Chanyeol insane. Baekhyun looks at his eyes, and back to his lips, and he closes his eyes and closes the gap between them, and before he can even process that Baekhyun’s lips was on his, it was gone, as if it wasn’t there, as if he never really kissed him.

Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol and sees his friend’s eyes wide, and mouth slightly open. He thinks he ed up, but he was just too curious, and it was just there, and he wanted to kiss it ever since. He didn’t know how to stop himself.

Chanyeol stays silent for a while, and Baekhyun is really starting to regret his actions now, but then he sees Chanyeol smile, his dimple making an appearance. Before Baekhyun can even stop himself, he kisses Chanyeol again, this time longer.

It’s a good thing Baekhyun chose a place where the librarian can’t see them.

He tilts his head to try and deepen the kiss, and Baekhyun doesn’t know how to interpret how Chanyeol wasn’t pulling away.

But he also wasn’t kissing back.

 

———

 

The kiss in the library wasn’t the last that they had. It happened again the next day, the day after that, and the next ones. It can be in Baekhyun’s room while watching a series or a movie, while Chanyeol is on his shift and Baekhyun would ask him to come for a while, or while they’re in the middle of putting books on the shelves. It was the same kiss -- chaste, sweet and Chanyeol feels like he doesn’t deserve to be the receiving end of it.

It was always Baekhyun initiating it, and he never really said anything about Chanyeol not kissing back the first time he tried to deepen the kiss. Maybe that’s why it was always a quick peck, leaving Chanyeol flustered with how random he gets a kiss. He doesn’t complain about it. If he would admit it, he likes it and he wants to reciprocate it wholeheartedly but there’s something stopping him. He wants to initiate the kiss, but whenever he tries, a strong part of him is holding him back and he doesn’t know what.

Or maybe he does but he doesn’t want to think about it.

He likes Baekhyun. He really does. That’s the reason why he let him kiss him, and he wants to convince himself that the only explanation as to why he didn’t kiss back that time was because he was surprised, that he didn’t expect Baekhyun to be the one who’ll initiate, to put his heart on his sleeve. Except he knows it’s not because of that, and he’s being selfish to Baekhyun for not even trying to tell him what’s stopping him.

How can he tell Baekhyun that he’s afraid of what may happen if things change between them? That he’s actually afraid of being committed again because of what happened between him and his ex?

He doesn’t want to lose him. Because Byun Baekhyun made him happy so effortlessly, like he was born to do that. His mere existence is enough for Chanyeol to get back on his feet and continue living life happily. With Baekhyun by his side, it was as if every hindrance, every battle can be fought. It was only Baekhyun who made him feel like that, all in a span of a few months. It happened so fast, and it should be terrifying, except it wasn’t because it’s Baekhyun, and for Chanyeol, being with Baekhyun is enough to face every terrifying obstacle in his life bravely. Chanyeol feels like no one can stop him, and he can conquer the world. That’s how Baekhyun makes him feel.

He wishes he can say that to him, but an odd lump in his throat prohibits him to. It’s as if it’s saying that it still isn’t the right time, that maybe he still has things to sort out, that maybe he isn’t the right person...

But it has to be the right person. Chanyeol is willing to fight everything, even his own fate just to make it the right person -- Baekhyun.

“Earth to Chanyeol!” Baekhyun said, and pinches his arm, making him snap out from his trance. He winces and rubs his arm. Baekhyun places his pizza on the box and wipes his hands on his napkin. He massages the spot he pinched and pouted, “I’m sorry. You were spacing out and I was asking you an important question.”

Chanyeol tries to resist the urge to pinch his cheeks, because he’s just so cute, and he does it so effortlessly. “Sorry. I was just thinking about something.” he explained, “What is it?”

“I said, do you think Ross and Rachel should’ve gotten back together? It’s a life-and-death question.” Baekhyun asks, and Chanyeol’s confused because what the are they talking about?

“Who?”

“Ross and Rachel? From Friends?” Baekhyun states.

“I don’t know them.” he answered truthfully and Baekhyun looks at him, clearly can’t believe what he just heard.

“You don’t know Friends?” Baekhyun asked incredulously, and Chanyeol can only nod. “What a turn off. Let me educate you about it.”

Baekhyun starts to explain to him why he should watch the series, and Chanyeol just looks at him fondly, occasionally chuckling at how cute the person beside him is. He has never seen someone explain a series to him like it’s a ing must for him to know it, like it’s a requirement for him to be aware of it. Never has he ever seen someone so cute while munching pizza so messily as Baekhyun does. He hates messy eaters, but he’d make an exception if it’s Baekhyun. Or maybe they could just work on it, and Chanyeol can just teach him proper table manners or stuff. He doesn’t mind as long as he’s spending time with Baekhyun.

Already 30 minutes gone, and Baekhyun’s still not done with explaining how he should watch the series, and other series too. He’s mentioning different titles that he thinks he won’t remember anyway because he’s busy staring at Baekhyun talking animatedly about his favorite T.V shows.

Baekhyun just looks so adorable like that, and before he can even stop himself, he pinches his cheeks, effectively making Baekhyun stop with whatever he’s talking about and looks at him with wide eyes.

And before he can even react, Baekhyun was taking a hold of his ears, grabbing it, making it stick out. He pouts and says, “Did you just do that to make me shut up?”

“I didn’t mean to. You were just so cute, I couldn’t resist.” Chanyeol said and laughs, still pinching his cheeks while Baekhyun is still holding both of his ears. They must look ridiculous right now, but all Chanyeol can do is chuckle as he imagines what he looks like.

“I don’t believe you.” Baekhyun said and removes his hands on Chanyeol’s ears and removes Chanyeol’s hands on his cheeks. “If you wanted me to shut up, you could’ve just told me.”

“I didn’t have the heart to.”

“Or you could’ve just kissed me and it would effectively shut me up.” he said boldly, and Chanyeol’s smile falters upon hearing that.

I want to. “I’m sorry.”

“Save it.” Baekhyun said and plasters a small smile on his face.

An awkward silence surrounds them, and Chanyeol badly wants to break it but he knows by doing so, he’ll probably end up hurting Baekhyun instead of saying what he wants.

“Hey, I have another life-and-death question.” Baekhyun said, breaking the silence. Chanyeol looks at him and waits for him to continue. “If you were given the chance to, would you choose to get back together with Kyungsoo and mend your relationship?”

No. “I don’t know. I guess...” he said and looks down.

He’s confused. Really, he is. He wants to return what Baekhyun’s giving him. He wants to say the truth to Baekhyun but there’s something stopping him, a small voice in his head is saying that he shouldn’t. That maybe it’s not the right time, that everything’s happening too fast. He’s willing to fight his own fate just to make everything work for him to end up with Baekhyun, but his mind won’t let him. His mind is telling him that he still has unfinished business, that he still has to think things through.

It’s just too much to take in, and all Chanyeol wants to do is go back to his room and drown in self-loathe.

Like the last time, he wants to run away. To forget everything and go back to square one.

But he can’t do that. Not to Baekhyun.

Before he can even say something and blurt out what his heart is telling him, Baekhyun’s phone rings, startling the both of them. He gets up and answers it, “Sehun? … Yeah, okay. I’m going. … See you.” he said and promptly hangs up.

Baekhyun looks at him glumly and Chanyeol wants to beat himself up for being the one who caused it. “Hey Chanyeol, there’s a party that Sehun’s inviting me to. Do you want to come?”

Yes. “No… It’s a Sunday, so I’ll just pass.”

Baekhyun just shrugs, expecting such answer. “Okay. Enjoy your night, Chanyeol.” he says as he wears his shoes and checks all his valuables if it were there. “Are you going to stay here or what?” he asked, annoyed (if Chanyeol heard it correctly), before opening his door.

Chanyeol doesn’t want to think too much of the way Baekhyun asked his question, and answers, “I’ll just see myself out.”

“Fine.” he said curtly and slams the door with so much force that Chanyeol thinks he can see a slight crack on the side of the door.

He felt that.

 

———

 

Truth be told, Chanyeol did try to convince himself that he doesn’t like Baekhyun that way. He tried to see him only as a friend, but every single time that Baekhyun is near him, his mind goes haywire, and the only thing that is clear in his mind about is how Baekhyun should be protected at all costs. He even tried to convince himself that the only reason that he wants to protect Baekhyun is because he’s a new friend of his, a close one, and he doesn’t want him to be in any harm.

That’s what he wants to thinks.

He wanted to focus on what he wants: To focus on himself and let no one distract him from what he wants to achieve in life. He wants to continue with his life avoiding any kind of attraction, forcing himself to shut everyone out, and losing the usual outgoing personality that he has. He doesn’t want anyone to break down his walls, and make him open up, and feel things he wants to be forgotten.

But then one day, Baekhyun avoided him. He went to his classes too early, slept too early (well, earlier than 1 AM), and even stopped meeting him or replying to his texts. It was weird for Chanyeol since Baekhyun always made it a point to spare him some of his time, just to help him or wait for him. Not being with Baekhyun for a short time was something Chanyeol was not used to despite him being friends with him just recently.

It’s true that when the things that one has taken granted of are now lost in a person’s grasp, it’s when one will realize the true worth of it. In easier context, it could be understood as, like what the song says, only know you love her when you let her go. except it’s not love, that he’s sure of. If he would think about it, it’s more of… yearning, missing another person’s presence.

That’s when he admitted to himself that he missed his friend, and that a day without him feels incomplete. Baekhyun avoiding him was something he didn’t see coming, and suddenly, a crack has formed in Chanyeol’s heart, and only Baekhyun’s presence can be able to heal it.

He doesn’t have to be a genius for him to realize that he likes Baekhyun, that he wants to protect him from anything that may take away his happiness, because Baekhyun being happy is the only thing that he wants to happen. If Baekhyun has lost his happiness, or if he doesn’t even laugh once in a day, then it’s like he lost his own happiness too. And Chanyeol doesn’t want that to ever happen, that’s why he makes it a point to always make Baekhyun smile by cracking a joke, or giving him chips that he says he doesn’t want to eat anymore but still eats anyway.

Yet all he did was to make Baekhyun unhappy because of his inability to say and explain things to him.

Is it all that he could ever give?

Yeah, maybe, he thought, remembering the day after their conversation about Kyungsoo. He wanted to greet him, but as soon as Baekhyun laid his eyes on him, he instantly looked down, crestfallen, and it had Chanyeol rooted on his spot, unsure of what to do or how to approach him.

He doesn’t know how much he affects Baekhyun. He doesn’t even know if Baekhyun genuinely likes him, or if he’s only looking for someone to fool around with. Baekhyun never really told him directly to his face but seeing Baekhyun’s dejected face when he looked at him: He’s not okay. He’s far away from being happy.

He wants to talk to Baekhyun, but the guy has been avoiding him like a plague. He doesn’t dare to go to his room using his spare key but if he’s really desperate or drunk, he won’t hesitate to go into his room and explain everything that’s going on in his head. Too bad he’s still sane enough to stop himself and think things through.

Maybe the time that they’re avoiding each other is for the best. It can help Chanyeol sort his thoughts out, but it can also be a way for Baekhyun to move on and change interests. Does Chanyeol want that to happen? No. Will Chanyeol stop it from happening? No because if Baekhyun is happy, who was he stop it? He’s no one. They don’t even have any relationship in the first place. The only thing Chanyeol is holding onto is the fact that they’re “friends”. That should be enough, it really should be if things won’t end up the way the both of them want to.

Chanyeol doesn’t know if Baekhyun gets over thing fast (which is unlikely, if he tries to ask Baekhyun), and the only thing he can hope for is that Baekhyun will still acknowledge him, even as a mere acquaintance.

 

 

Today is one of the rare days that he gets to meet Jongin, and literally just spend their time drinking booze like any normal guy. Well, Jongin has a lot of time to drink, considering that he goes clubbing every week, but Chanyeol doesn’t have so much time as him. However, right now with all the Baekhyun related thoughts swimming in his head, Chanyeol thinks all he wants to is drink and forget everything his stupid mind is thinking. He’s more than willing to drink all his problems away.

Now, he’s in a club, waiting for Jongin to come back after promising him that he’d get the both of them a drink. Chanyeol frowns. He’s not really used to this kind of environment -- loud sounds, people cheering, dancing, making out. He’d rather stay in his room and buy some soju, and drown in self-loathe, but he badly needs to keep his mind off things, and the work-until-I-get-too-tired-to-think method isn’t exactly working because one, he’s reminded of Baekhyun when he’s in the cafe, and two, he can’t work in his room because he’d think of Baekhyun again, because he’s literally in the room next to his. Plus, being in his room makes him think that it’s better to be in Baekhyun’s room because it’s warmer, and he’s just there within his reach.

He’s a mess.

“Yo, Chanyeol.” Jongin said loudly, holding out a beer. Chanyeol takes it and drinks it without replying. Jongin scrunches his nose upon seeing it. “Don’t have work tonight?”

Chanyeol had to lean in to hear him over the loud thumping sounds, “No. I took an off.”

“Well, I’m glad you can make it here.” Jongin said, and had a drink from his glass. Chanyeol doesn’t reply and just looks straight ahead, lost. Jongin notices this and snorts. “So what’s the problem?” he asked, looking around.

“I don’t have a problem.” Chanyeol replied, and drinks again.

 

“Please,” Jongin said, rolling his eyes. “You won’t take your sweet time off to go here just because you want to. You rarely go out, so I’m surprised you’re still here, wasting your time instead of actually doing something productive. So there has to be a problem, because why else would you need to go to a place like this, right?” he said, smirking at Chanyeol’s surprised face.

Chanyeol wants to curse his friend for being able to think that he really needed to be out. Guess he really can’t escape his problems this time. “I’m… confused.” he said unsurely.

“About what? Your uality? Jesus, are we going to talk about that again? The last time we had this kind of conversation was when you were confused about your feelings for Kyungsoo. It was hell making you realize that.” he said, frowning, remembering the worst nerve-wracking conversation with Chanyeol.

Chanyeol agrees with him. It was absolutely hard for him to make him realize that he liked Kyungsoo. It almost made Jongin rip his head off and throw it to a river. Chanyeol kind of wants him to do the same thing now.

“It’s definitely not about that,” he said loudly for his friend to hear him properly. “Is there any place that we can talk to each other without having to shout? I feel like I’m broadcasting to everyone my life dramas.”

“Hang on,” Jongin said, and drank the last of his drink. Chanyeol does the same, and places it on the counter. “Follow me.”

Jongin leads him to an open space near the club, the loud thumping noise now faint. “I guess this conversation is really important if we’re gonna have a heart-to-heart talk.”

Chanyeol snorts, “Important, but there’s no need to have a heart-to-heart. Maybe you should just throw my head. Everything would be a lot easier like that.”

“Well, if we’re talking about drastic method, then this talk must be a life and death situation.” Jongin said, “Maybe you should start telling me your problems now. We don’t exactly have the time of the world. Especially you.”

Chanyeol doesn’t reply and just sighs. All his mind wants him to think is Baekhyun, relationship, kisses, unrequited, and all that’s connect with it. Chanyeol doesn’t even know how to explain it to Jongin because even he doesn’t know what the is happening inside his head.

“Is this about Kyungsoo?” Jongin asks, breaking the silence.

Chanyeol looks at him and frowns, “No… maybe. No. Not really.”

“Well, that’s confusing.”

“That’s the point.” Chanyeol said, and Jongin looks at him, curious. “My mind’s a mess right now, a lot messier than the mess that was inside my head when Kyungsoo broke up with me.”

“How are you even alive right now if it’s that messy?” Jongin joked, and Chanyeol just smiles. “Kidding. But if it’s a lot messier than the one with Kyungsoo, then this must be really important for you, but you can’t sort things out.” he said, and Chanyeol nods, “Does it involve feelings?”

Jongin asked, and Chanyeol nods again. “Kyungsoo?” he asks, to which Chanyeol shook his head. “Then who?”

“Baekhyun.” he answered honestly. Jongin furrows his brows, because the name is all too familiar to him.

“Red-haired Baekhyun?” Jongin asks, and Chanyeol looks at him, shocked.

“You know Baekhyun?”

“Yeah, met him last week. He’s Sehun's best friend, right?” he asks and Chanyeol nods. “Charming guy. What about him?

“Well, I kind of like him.” Chanyeol said truthfully, “But I don’t think it’s right.”

“Why not? If this is about Kyungsoo and being scared to fall in love bull, then I’m ready to say whatever the that I want to say about it.” Jongin said, irked, and Chanyeol considers whether he should ask Jongin what he has to say about it, and he’s not exactly mentally prepared of being roasted today by the one and only Kim Jongin.

But he needs a brick to fall on his head to realize .

“It’s exactly about that.” he said, and Jongin frowns, because really, why?

“Why? Why would you even let that cheater change your perspective? Why would you even let him take over your mind, like the manipulative he is?” Jongin said, annoyed, and Chanyeol was about to refute but Jongin beats him to it, “No, I know the truth, Chanyeol, because one, I saw them doing it with my own eyes, and two, I know how much you value your relationship with him that it ing hurts the eyes seeing you being stupid over someone who clearly doesn’t even give a about you. Now, tell me why should you let someone affect your mind when in fact you were never the one at fault?”

“Maybe I’m convinced that I’m not the one at fault,” Chanyeol said, “But that doesn’t mean I’m not afraid anymore.”

“What exactly are you afraid of? What’s stopping you to be happy, Chanyeol?” Jongin asked, huffing, and the question ticked Chanyeol off.

“I’m afraid that maybe I’m still not over it, and that I will only things up instead of fixing it!” Chanyeol said, feeling himself choking up, tears welling up in his eyes as he remembers how miserable he was when he saw Kyungsoo with another guy, and how he’s just waiting for Kyungsoo to breakup with him. “I’m afraid that… maybe what I’m feeling for Baekhyun is an infatuation. That I’m only feeling this because he makes me forget that I was ever miserable, and that the happiness I’m feeling when I’m with him is overpowering the sadness that I’m constantly fighting ever since the breakup. I’m saying that I’m afraid that I’m confusing my feelings with him, that maybe I don’t really like him for who he is, but I’m only liking the feeling of being able to run away from my problems when I’m with him… to run away from anything related to Kyungsoo. Because you’re right, Jongin. I was stupid over someone who doesn’t care about me, and I’m afraid that I still am…” he said and looks down as tears continuously fall from his eyes.

Jongin looks at him pitifully and sighs, “Look, Chanyeol, I didn’t mean to make you realize things in a rather harsh way… but I know you’ve been bottling things up, and you keep on refusing to talk to people.” he said, and Chanyeol just listens to him, sniffing, “Talk, Chanyeol. Maybe you should talk with Baekhyun. I don’t know him that much, but with what I saw last time I met him, I’m sure he’s more than willing to listen to you, especially with your problems.”

“You think?” Chanyeol asks, hopeful.

Jongin smiles at him sincerely, “Yeah, and from what I’ve heard from you, if he makes you happy, then I’m sure you like him. Maybe not yet as much as you did with your past, but it’s on the way, and it’s better.”

Chanyeol wipes his tears and pinches his nose to refrain any snot from coming out. Jongin looks at him with pure disgust, “Dude, that’s ing disgusting.”

“I forgot my handkerchief.” he said, chuckling. He jokes on wiping it on his friend’s shirt, and Jongin backs away immediately, looking at his sides to find an escape. Chanyeol just laughs as he sees his friend’s eyes widen.

“Hey, Chanyeol,” Jongin said, earning his attention and abruptly stopping him from laughing. Jongin hears a faint what directed to him, but his attention is elsewhere. “Do you want to realize whether you are still not over what happened?”

“What do you mean?” Chanyeol asked, confused.

“Look,” Jongin said and pointed somewhere at a different direction, and Chanyeol looks at it, squinting his eyes to see what it is properly. “What do you feel upon seeing that?”

And that’s when Chanyeol sees it. It’s Kyungsoo and his past best friend, holding hands, and Kyungsoo looks happy with him, contented even. Chanyeol’s happy for them, different from the first time he saw them. Gone were the feelings of pain and guilt. It was now replaced with happiness, and Chanyeol can see the difference of how they looked like when they were still in a relationship. The only thing that he can see is pure joy etched on their faces, and he’s sure of it. He smiles, and hopes that someday he’ll be like that, so happy, in love, and the only thing that he can do is fall even more as the days pass by. He wants something like that and it’s only going to happen if Baekhyun would fall for him the way he currently is.

Chanyeol freezes because what? Falling in love with who? What? Who?

“So, what do you feel?” Jongin asked and looks at his friend with hope.

“Nothing,” Chanyeol answered, dazed, still astonished with what he just realized. Jongin sees him, and he raises his brow upon seeing the dazed look his friend has.

“Dude, you okay? Is it really nothing?”

“Yeah, I…” he replied, “I have to go.” and he scampers. Jongin’s confused and shouts, “Hey, where are you going?! We’re still going to drink!”

Chanyeol doesn’t stop running, and just waves his hand and says, “To Baekhyun!”

“That’s the spirit!” Jongin shouted, and Chanyeol hears it, and he feels himself grinning.

Chanyeol hopes Baekhyun’s just there, willing to open his door for him.

 

———

 

“Wow, you look like roadkill.” Sehun said, entering his room with a bag full of assorted chips. He throws it to Baekhyun who, thankfully, managed to catch it.

“Thanks. I needed to hear that.” Baekhyun replied, opening his chips and plopping down on his bed, pressing Play on his laptop.

“You really do, Baekhyun. Do you even sleep?” he said, worried. He looks at his friend and sees him wearing his usual dog-design pajama, ready to sleep. Except he isn’t really going to sleep yet, if the laptop on his bed is even an indication that he’s still doing something.

“Yeah, at like… 3 AM.” Baekhyun replied, and shrugs. He’s been like this ever since, what’s so shocking about it?

“What the ? Do you have so much to do always?” his friend asks disbelievingly. Baekhyun pauses the movie, and sighs. So much for trying to watch.

“It’s college, my friend. What do you expect?” he said and rolls his eyes. He sees Sehun frown, mumbling about how he’s also a college student, and yet he still has time to rest.

“I have a feeling that it’s not because of that. Maybe it’s because of your procrastinating habits again,” Sehun guesses and Baekhyun keeps mum. “Or maybe because you keep on waiting for Chanyeol to finish his shift even if it ends so late at night. How do you even still function?”

Baekhyun sits up and hugs his pillow as the mere mention of Chanyeol’s name affects him to the core. He’s feeling guilty of acting so childish in front of him. He let his feelings control him, something he’s been avoiding ever since what happened before. Baekhyun knows he shouldn’t have gotten mad at Chanyeol. He knows he doesn’t have the right to be jealous of his past love. He doesn’t have any say if Chanyeol ever wanted to try to win his ex back. He doesn’t, and he thinks that’s what hurts him the most; the fact that he doesn’t have the right to stop Chanyeol if he ever slips away because they’re nothing but just friends. And if Chanyeol will be happy, why should he stop it?

He chuckles bitterly, yeah, why should I stop it?

Because it’ll hurt you… and it would be hell…

“Baekhyun?” Sehun called out, trying to gain his friend’s attention. His friend looks at him, his eyes were glassy, tears ready to fall any second now. “Did something happen?”

Right. Baekhyun didn’t mention anything to Sehun about what happened. He didn’t feel like doing so. Everytime he remembers his conversation with Chanyeol, he feels his heart being ripped apart, thinking of how he doesn’t even have a chance to begin with yet he chose to tread on thin ice just because he thought he has the chance with him. mixed signals and his brain. Why’d he have one, anyway? He isn’t worthy of having one.

But he guesses it’s time to tell Sehun the truth.

“I think… I ruined my friendship with Chanyeol.” he starts, and gains Sehun’s full attention. His friend frowns but doesn’t talk so he takes that as a sign that he should continue. “Well, we were just fooling around and it kinda got serious on my part…”

“What do you mean?”

“Hey, isn’t that a song?” he says so suddenly (also because he really can’t pass up to this one) just not to make things too serious, and Sehun raises his hands as a sign of defeat. He chuckles, and continues, “Back to the story, well, I made him uncomfortable. I guess, his wounds were not healed yet and me mentioning his ex made him go back to whatever it is that he was feeling. I just wanted to know if he has moved on, you know. Can you blame me if I was just curious of where we were in the relationship? I mean, he gives me a lot of mixed signals. He even lets me kiss him, for Pete’s sake---”

“What? What?” Sehun interrupts, surprised with what he just heard. “Can you repeat what you just said? The last one?”

“He even lets me kiss him---”

“You kissed Chanyeol? And he let you?” Sehun asked, and Baekhyun nods, ready to explain how and why, but then Sehun continues, “Doesn’t that mean he’s interested on you? I mean, I’m pretty sure Chanyeol’s a decent person, and he would tell you to stop if it bothers him.”

“You don’t understand, Sehun.” Baekhyun said, and Sehun furrows his brows, “I kissed him. He let me do it dozens of time, but I never told you this. The first time I kissed him---”

“Oh wow, it’s not a one time thing.”

“Shut up,” he says, and Sehun promptly shuts up when he hears Baekhyun’s tone, “The first time I kissed him, he let me, but that doesn’t mean he kissed me back.”

Sehun gives him a blank face, and Baekhyun’s pretty sure the only thing that’s going on his friend’s head is “????????” because, same. “So, I didn’t try to push it, and I just kissed him, uh, you know, chaste… I kinda don't want to get into details. If there’s even more that.” he said, and laughs uncomfortably as his friend stares at him, mouth apart. “Sehun?”

“I’m confused,” Sehun said, “So you kissed him, he let you, but he didn’t kiss you back?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I don’t know what that means in Chanyeol’s dictionary,” he says, and Baekhyun sighs, “But if it helps, in an outsider’s view, you both look like a couple.” he said, and Baekhyun looks at him, sad, because he knows they’re anything but. Sehun sighs, “Baekhyun, Chanyeol looks at you like you’re made of every constellation that he knows — so beautiful, that he can’t look away.”

“Are you sure that’s how Chanyeol looks at me, and not what you think of when you’re with me? Because Sehun, really, I love you but we’re just friends.” he said, and cackles when he sees Sehun’s disgusted face. “I don’t know, Sehun. I just don’t want things to be like what happened before…”

“Baekhyun, not everyone is like that son of a .” Sehun said, annoyed. “Not everyone is like him, not everyone will break you the way he did.”

“But it can happen again.” Baekhyun said and looks away when he feels his tears welling up. “It just hurts. Whenever I think of Chanyeol, I’m reminded of how beautiful it is to actually feel this kind of feeling, you know? It’s so overwhelming, but I like it. But thinking of Chanyeol and how I was treated before, I can’t help thinking it’s going to happen again, and my mind won’t stop overthinking things… I just can’t help it.”

“I know, Baekhyun.” Sehun said understandingly, “I can’t say things on Chanyeol’s behalf, but the only thing I’d advise you to do is to talk to him. As cliché as it sounds, communication is the key to a better relationship.”

“Thanks, Sehun.” he said and wipes his tears, and goes to his friend to hug him. “Really thankful that I have you as my friend.”

“You should be. It’s hard putting up with you.” he said lightly, and Baekhyun laughs.

“Are you sure you don’t like me?” he said teasingly and Sehun breaks out from the hug, pushing him away from him, muttering, “ew” under his breath.

“For your information, I already like someone and we’re already dating.” Sehun said, and Baekhyun gasps, surprised at the revelation, “And that’s definitely not you. Full offense.”

“What? Why didn’t I know about this?”

“You were busy moping, Baekhyun. It was hard to find the right time to tell you,” Sehun said, and Baekhyun looks at him dejectedly, thinking that how sad it was that he wasn’t there for his friend when he wanted to tell him something, “Don’t look at me like that. It was harder to look at you trying to go to that cafe and end up not going.”

True. He tried to go to the cafe Chanyeol worked at, in hopes of having a glimpse of him. But he chickened out when he was already near the glass door, and he scampered when Luhan waved at him, giddily as if waiting for him for quite a while. He leaves the place muttering a series of “ .” He swears he saw people looking at him weirdly.

It’s just that he can’t help it. It’s been a week or two since he last saw Chanyeol and he misses him. It’s weird to not have his cramming buddy (what a term) beside him. He’s grown used to it ever since the first time they had a one night solid cramming session together (definitely not a good habit). So, he can’t help feeling as if there’s something missing on cold nights when Chanyeol’s not there to keep him warm and calm.

The only thing he knows right now is that he really just misses him and if time machines exist, he’d gladly get into one and try to not things up the way it is now.

“So, who’s this person that you like that you didn’t even bother to tell me?” Baekhyun asked, pouting.

“Jongin.” Sehun said, smirks, and winks as Baekhyun gasps, surprised at what Sehun just said.

That he didn’t know.

 

 

For once, Baekhyun can sleep early without even having any Chanyeol-related thoughts, or anything to related to school to keep him awake. And Baekhyun would very much like to thank all the gods out there for the wonderful opportunity of being able to sleep after a few weeks of having the worst ing sleep schedule ever. He could kiss everyone just to express how thankful he is for having the chance to finally sleep this much. He could kiss his pillow, yeah that’s how thankful he is.

But he is most certainly not thankful to the person who’s banging his door at 10-ing-PM. Who the even knocks at this time of the night?

(Anyone. Because it’s still too early for everyone in this dormitory to sleep.)

He was going to ignore it, and just sleep. Maybe it’s just Sehun trying to ask for a few DVDs from him. He can wait.

Except the one knocking on his door is persistent, and he was near to breaking his door, and people who have such heavy hands. Don’t they even consider that they could easily break things?

“Who the is this stupid ,” Baekhyun grumbles, getting up and hastily writes a “Buy a Do Not Disturb sign” on his post-it. He’s really tired of people barging in his room. Why do they always want to go to his room at times when he doesn’t want to be disturbed?

He’s ready to say how much of an his friend was for having to knock at his door when he knows he’s just about to sleep, but when he opens his door, the sight before him isn’t something he expects. He thought it was Sehun, or maybe the stupid high kid who keeps on offering people cookies that definitely has some substance in it. He can just expect anyone on his doorstep. Anyone.

Anyone except Chanyeol.

Yet here he is in front of him, looking at him, with a lost look on his eyes. The same type of eyes he saw the first time he saw Chanyeol sleepwalking. Ah.

“Are you sleepwalking again?” Baekhyun asks, and Chanyeol, as expected, doesn’t answer. Baekhyun sighs and was about to hold his arm and lead him to his room when Chanyeol suddenly slumps against him, making him off-balance. Luckily, he managed to catch him and save the both of them from falling. He hears him mumbling something and Baekhyun can’t understand him despite their proximity, “What?”

“I woooovvvv youuuu,” Chanyeol says, and hugs him tight. Baekhyun feels like his heart is about to run away from his rib cage just because of how fast it’s beating, and because, Jesus Christ, that was too cute for him to handle. Did he just say I love you but in a very (he needs to stress this out) cute way? How is that even allowed to happen? He shakes his head, and prevents himself from thinking that it’s something meant for him. Maybe it’s for Kyungsoo, or some other guy he isn’t aware of.

“Chanyeol,” he said, surprisingly in a steady voice, “God, why are your sleepwalks happening occasionally…You’re heavy. Let’s get you to bed.”

But Chanyeol just kept rooted on his spot and says something that makes him stop as he feels his chest tighten at what he heard, “I woooooov you, Baekhyuneeee.”

, he really knows how weak he is for him.

Smitten.

“Chanyeol, let’s get you to bed.” he says, and this time his voice is shaky because , here’s Chanyeol again, giving him stupid mixed signals, and any minute now he’s going to explode because of too much feelings happening inside him.

Chanyeol remains adamant, and Baekhyun considers letting him fall face first onto the floor, but he’s not exactly heartless. Definitely not with Chanyeol.

“Chanyeol, stop making things hard for me…” he says defeatedly and he’s not sure whether he’s talking about the heavy crushing weight as he continues to slump against him, or if he’s talking about how hard it is to have such feelings for this man.

They stay like that for a few minutes, and even if it’s hard for Baekhyun’s part (because he’s really heavy), he closes his eyes and lets himself savor the moment because maybe when Chanyeol’s awake, he won’t be able to do this again. For the last time, he wills himself to be this near to Chanyeol, without anything hindering him.

“I’m not sleepwalking.” he hears someone say, and Baekhyun’s eyes snap wide open when he heard it. He’s not sure if he’s imagining things, but the sound was just so near and familiar, that he literally froze when heard it. He was just about to ask what or who it was when, “I’m not sleepwalking.” he repeats, and that’s when Baekhyun’s sure that the voice was from the man who’s currently hugging the life out of him, and , did he just let his guard down again?

Baekhyun breaks out from the hug and was just about to ask if he’s drunk when Chanyeol beats him to it, “I’m not drunk too.”

“What…?” Baekhyun asks, confused. What the is happening?

“Let’s get to bed?” Chanyeol asks, tilting his head, small smile plastered on his face. It was so cute that Baekhyun was really trying to resist the urge to yell at him to stop being cute. It was beginning to get too hard for him.

But Baekhyun will not back down because he’s a strong man, and he doesn’t want others to step on him (What?), so he answers, “No.” Good job, Baekhyun. Time to say more. And as if on cue, Chanyeol pouts at him because of his answer. that’s hard. Stop looking at me like that. “We’re not going anywhere here unless we talk.” Congrats, you said that well.

“Let’s get to your bed and talk before we sleep?” Chanyeol suggests, and grins at him. God, Baekhyun wants to smack his face because no, they’re not going anywhere near his bed and he’s going to say no to that suggestion. No matter how tempting it may be.

“Fine.” .

Chanyeol closes his door (which he didn’t realize was still open and they were literally PDA-ing for everyone to see) and holds his arm as he leads the both of them to his bed. In other days, he would think of this as something inviting but right now, all he’s feeling is nervousness and confusion.

And a tad happy. Because Chanyeol’s near, and just within his reach, with no glass doors blocking the both of them. He’s just there, and he can bask in the warmth he’s radiating.

“Baek,” Chanyeol says, calling him to get his attention. “Come here.” he says, motioning him to come closer. He left a safe distance between them. Besides the fact that he wants to have his personal space (that’s bull. He literally just hugged Chanyeol like a ing koala.), he’s afraid that Chanyeol will hear his heartbeat, and he’ll know how much he affects him. He doesn’t want that especially if it makes Chanyeol uncomfortable. So, he shakes his head and keeps his distance. Chanyeol sighs and says, “Then you leave me with no choice.” and before Baekhyun can even ask what it means, Chanyeol pulls him closer to him, and lies the both of them on his bed. It’s so intimate, Baekhyun can’t even imagine how red his face is right now.

Chanyeol nuzzles on his neck, and god, it was so warm, so right. Baekhyun’s sure he’s going crazy, or maybe this is a dream? It was so surreal. He’s not sure if he’s imagining things again, but one thing’s for sure is that he wants this to be real and not just a part of his wishful thinking.

But it’s confusing. So confusing that he thinks he doesn’t have the right to enjoy this moment.

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says, his voice quivering, “Please let me go.”

Chanyeol then looks at him, eyebrows furrowed, and says, “No,”

“Chanyeol. Please.” he begs because this is not good for him. If Chanyeol’s going to throw him to the side after this, then why is there a need to complicate things?

“I’m not letting you go, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol says, tone serious as he meets Baekhyun’s eyes, “Not just yet.”

Something about the way Chanyeol said those words made his heart flutter. He doesn’t want to think too much about it but the way Chanyeol said he won’t let go of Baekhyun feels like he’s trying to say something to him, just more than letting go of him from his tight grip. He wants to avoid thinking about it and focus on the way Chanyeol’s heart is beating fast as he cuddles him, giving him warmth he missed for weeks.

They stay like that for a while, and Baekhyun thinks he can even hear Chanyeol sniffing. Jesus, is he smelling him? Does he smell bad? Did he even take a shower today? He’s such a lazy , but if Chanyeol will continue on smelling him, then he better not say anything about it.

On to the more important things, Baekhyun can’t help thinking why Chanyeol is suddenly like this. Even if he lets him near him, and lets himself be stupid again, if Chanyeol’s just here to say his farewell, then he might as well do it soon so Baekhyun can go cry like a baby.

“Baek,” Chanyeol finally speaks, breaking the silence, “I’m sorry.”

Is this is it? Is he going to reject me and leave me alone? Am I ready for it? I should be. I’ve been expecting this talk for weeks, I should be more than ready.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, and Baekhyun’s kind of getting tired of hearing Chanyeol saying sorry most of the time.

“Stop wasting your time with sorries, Chanyeol.” he says, remembering one time Chanyeol said the exact same words to him. “Why are you saying sorry?” Shouldn’t I be the one who’s saying that?

“I… I know I’m a confusing person,” Chanyeol says and sighs, “And I know I’ve hurt you lots of times---”

“Chanyeol---”

“No, Baekhyun. Please, just let me… I want you to listen to every word that I’ll be saying because I don’t think I’ll ever have the courage to say this if not today.” Chanyeol says, and Baekhyun shuts up, helpless with the way Chanyeol’s eyes look sad, and he’s not even sure how he should interpret that.

“I like you, Baekhyun. I do. I really do.” he says straightforwardly that it caught Baekhyun off guard. “But there was something stopping me, and I couldn’t tell it to you. I mean, at first, I thought that maybe the one thing that’s keeping me from saying the truth is the fact that I’m not sure if you’re serious, or if you’re just looking for someone to fool around with. I guess I just wanted to keep my guard up, you know? So that I won’t get hurt again or something… but when I talked to Jongin a while ago, he made me realize a lot of things, like why I’m stopping myself from taking a risk.” he said, and Baekhyun’s just listening to him attentively.

“I was afraid. I was afraid that maybe I still wasn’t over him, and the only reason why I have my attention on you is because you were just there, and I’m just infatuated by you. I thought that maybe I just liked how you make me happy and how you make me forget. And I thought I was just using you to move on, and I don’t want that. You don’t deserve that. You don’t deserve half of someone knowing what you should have is full.” Chanyeol explains, and he sees Baekhyun looking at him with wide, glassy eyes, “But then I saw Kyungsoo, he was with my used to be best friend, and I thought it would hurt me the same way it did the first time I caught him with some other man, but the only thing I thought of that time was how I want to be happy, with the person I cherish the most at the moment.

“I realized, how can I ever doubt my feelings for you when it’s as clear as glass that I like you just because you’re you? Jongin was right when he said he doesn’t know what’s stopping me from being happy when I know I don’t have control with that ever since I met you. I was happy, I still am and will be if things go the way I, we, want it to be. With you, it’s always right, and I don’t mind if you take over my stupid brain and make me insane… I just… if this is how it is to be happy again, then I’m not going to let go of the chance just because I’m afraid…” Chanyeol says, and he looks at Baekhyun and he sees his eyes closed, and did he just sleep on him? “Baek, are you sleeping already?” he asks, and Baekhyun doesn’t answer. Chanyeol chuckles as he looks at Baekhyun, looking adorable and peaceful just like this, and he thinks he can get used to this. “You’re so unfair, Baekhyun. To think that I’m just about to say how I’m starting to fall in love with you.” he says, and Baekhyun just buries his face in his chest and embraces him.

Chanyeol just hums and relishes this moment with Baekhyun. He knows he has a lot to worry, and that everything is just on the tip of the iceberg, but right now, all he wants to do is enjoy the moment while Baekhyun is still here, where he can hold him and give him some warmth.

He kisses the top of his head and shifts to a more comfortable position. He was just about to close his eyes, and let the steady sound of breathing lull him to sleep when he hears someone sobbing, and he feels Baekhyun’s chest heaving as he struggles to catch his breath, “Baek? Oh my god, was I hugging you too hard?” he asks in panic as he moves away from him, but Baekhyun’s holding onto the hem of his shirt, and he’s shaking his head. “Baek?”

“Am I… Am I dreaming?” Baekhyun asks and hiccups, “I… I am, right? If I’m dreaming, then I don’t want to wake up.”

“Why?” he asks quietly.

“Because in this dream, you want to be with me.” he says, and Chanyeol thinks his heart breaks at how Baekhyun looks so vulnerable right now, “It’s what I want to happen but real Chanyeol doesn’t want that. At least in my dreams, we both want the same thing.”

Chanyeol wipes his tears away and says, “Baek, you’re not dreaming.”

“I’m not?” Baekhyun asks and his eyes widen as he stares at Chanyeol’s warm eyes, “I’m not?” he repeats, and Chanyeol shook his head and smiles at him.

“It’s as real as you want it to be.” he said, and Baekhyun just grins at him and mumbles a soft thank you as he buries his face against Chanyeol’s chest.

This really is something he can get used to.

 

———

 

“HOLYHOLYHOLY. It was real. It was real. TWAS MOTHERING REAL.” Baekhyun yells as he gets up as fast as he can when he saw Chanyeol just beside him. He finds his phone and dials Sehun’s number, “Come on, Sehun. Pick up the phone. Pick up the phone.” he say, but the call only goes to voicemail and Baekhyun swears he’ll strangle him when he meets with him later.

He literally thought he was just dreaming last night, that the warmth wasn’t real, but , no. He woke up with Chanyeol’s arms around him, and wow, it was real. And they look so intimate, and why the was he so tired last night that he actually thought everything was just a fragment of his imagination?

“OH MY GOD YOU’RE REAL.” Baekhyun said loudly as he pokes Chanyeol’s cheek. “He’s real.” he whispers as Chanyeol furrows his brows, noise waking him up.

“Why is it so noisy, ughhhhh, it’s so early,” Chanyeol grumbles, and Baekhyun feels half guilty for being so loud at this time (read: all the time). He can’t help it though, not when Chanyeol’s just there breathing and sprawled on his bed like he owns it. As much as he wants to savor this moment, Baekhyun isn’t exactly on the calm side right now.

He makes a lot more noises just to wake the man up, and even if Chanyeol covers his face with a pillow, the noise was hard to ignore. “What the is happening,” he deadpans, squinting his eyes, light too bright for someone who just woke up from the best sleep he’s ever had.

“Baekhyun?” he says when he has fully adjusted to the light, and saw someone brighter than it, scowling at him. “Good morning.” he greets, and grins at him, but sadly, it wasn’t returned as the guy in front of him continues to scowl. “What’s wrong?” he asks and gets up to go towards Baekhyun, but the guy turns his back to him and looks for something on one of his drawers.

Chanyeol looks at him confusedly when he suddenly shoves a (new) toothbrush into his chest, “Brush your teeth. Then we’ll talk.” he said, tone serious as if they have to talk about something really important.

Well, they do, but this isn’t what he expected his morning to start. He actually thought it will start with him still embracing Baekhyun, limbs tangled with his, and he will wake up first and stare at the man who’s in his arms, and once he wakes up he’ll say Good morning and Baekhyun’s day will start with a long-awaited kiss from him.

All of those dreams have gone the drain now as he looks at Baekhyun’s frowning face, offering him a ing toothbrush, and then they’ll talk.

As much as he wants to be disappointed with the turn of events, he can’t make himself to, because waking up and seeing Baekhyun just near him is enough to say that his day is starting right. So, he just grins at him and accepts the toothbrush wholeheartedly, with Baekhyun taken aback at how Chanyeol just threw a smile at him just like that. The ing attack.

Baekhyun lets out the breath he’s been holding when Chanyeol closes the door of his bathroom. He paces around, and bites his nails, a habit he does when he’s nervous, because how can he not be when he’s just about to talk to Chanyeol about what just happened last night.

After minutes of misery, Chanyeol emerges from the bathroom and smiles at him, his pearly white teeth showing, and it’s so bright that he had to look away. Is it even possible for a person to have that much brightness in their teeth? Is he that perfect physically?

Baekhyun clears his throat and makes himself look composed (because inside, he’s already dying, but Chanyeol doesn’t have to know that.), “Let’s talk.”

“Sure,” he replies and sits on his bed, “Before I forget, I placed the toothbrush near yours. I hope you won’t make a mistake by using it. I don’t think it’s right to use someone else’s toothbrush.”

“I know that,” he says and blushes, he’s not sure why. “Enough about toothbrushes. Let’s get straight to the point.” he says seriously and clears his throat, “What are you doing here, Chanyeol?”

“What?” Chanyeol asks, confused.

“What are you doing here?” he repeats, and Chanyeol’s brows remained furrowed, still confused with whatever Baekhyun’s trying to point out. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Why are we going back to square one again?” Chanyeol whines, “I told you. I like you. I’m starting to fall in love with you.”

“It’s… It’s true then? Last night… it really… happened?” Baekhyun asks, eyes searching the one staring at him. Chanyeol nods, and Baekhyun’s heart races as Chanyeol moves towards him.

He tilts his head up to meet Chanyeol’s eyes, the same eyes that make him drown every single time.

“I like you, Baekhyun.” he says, looking at him in the eyes, and Baekhyun can see how sincere it is. He wants to cry. Chanyeol gently holds his arm and leads him towards his bed, “Why do I always have to tell you to sit beside me? I like it when you’re near. Don’t you?” he asks, and Baekhyun’s currently at loss for words. “Baek?”

“I, uh, yeah, sure.” he replied, mind still at haze. He doesn’t know what to say, and all he can think of is how normal this is for Chanyeol, like they’ve been doing this ever since before. Like it’s a routine they just got used to.

“Hey, Baekhyun.” he calls, and Baekhyun looks at him with wide eyes, still having the hard time grasping at the recent events. “Do you have anything to do today?”

“No?” he replies unsurely. He thinks he’s done everything he has to do yesterday (The best record he’s ever had in his life), and the only thing he remembered he hasn’t ticked off yet was Mope around, which isn’t exactly a must to do. At least right now.

“Good,” Chanyeol replies and smiles bashfully at him. He holds his hand, clasping them together, and asks, “Can I take you out for a date today?”

Baekhyun thinks he’s about to die right now. The way Chanyeol just asked him was full of confidence, and it was so smooth that anyone will have a hard time rejecting such offer. Is this how skilled people flirt? Baekhyun’s amazing flirting skills can’t relate.

He sees Chanyeol’s smile falter, and Baekhyun realizes he hasn’t replied to Chanyeol’s question. He laughs nervously at how Chanyeol’s stare is starting to melt him, and he’s going crazy right now just because of it.

Right. Need an answer. “Yeah… yeah, you can.” Baekhyun replies, because really, who was he to decline such tempting offer? Baekhyun has been told that he shouldn’t say no to blessings, and since it’s there, he’s more than willing to grab it.

Chanyeol breaks out a smile, and Baekhyun can’t help staring at such beauty. He has probably said this a million times on his head but Chanyeol’s face is just so perfect, so well-made. He’s a true art that Baekhyun’s willing to keep in his museum of thoughts.

Baekhyun just kept staring at him, and Chanyeol shifts uncomfortably at how intense he was looking at him. He appreciates the undivided attention, but his face is heating up, and he can’t help looking away, momentarily forgetting that he was hiding something.

It’s too late now because Baekhyun sees it, if the way he gasps is any indication of it.

“What happened to your face? There’s a bruise!” Baekhyun said, worry evident in his voice. He places his hand on Chanyeol’s cheek, and Chanyeol winces. “Did you get into a fight? You really should work on your temper…”

“No,” Chanyeol said and chuckles, removing Baekhyun’s hand from his bruised cheek. “Sehun did it.”

“What?!” Baekhyun asks, not buying it. “I don’t believe it! I mean, he did say he’ll punch you if you hurt me… but… I can’t believe it! Are you serious?!”

Chanyeol nods, “Yeah, it hurt like a . I didn’t even expect him to punch that hard, but I guess he wanted me to wake up, and realize I’m head over heels for you.” he says and chuckles when Baekhyun blushes, “Too bad, I already realized it before he even punched me square on the face.”

“I’m sorry.” Baekhyun said, “Sehun can really be protective sometimes. It’s all for a good cause.”

“Hmm. He said sorry already, and I understand him. I mean, I could say the same because you have something that makes me want to protect you, you know? So I can’t really blame him on that part.” Chanyeol teases, and Baekhyun punches him lightly on his arm and he fakes pain, “He said something about how you should be cherished… how you shouldn’t be taken for granted. That you’ve had enough pain from your past years…” he says, and Baekhyun stops laughing because he knows too well enough where this conversation is going.

He’s just waiting for Chanyeol to ask him the same question people have been asking him every single time that someone mentions about what happened. But he was surprised when Chanyeol says, “I won’t force you to tell me what happened, but if it bothers you or if it affects you, you can talk to me. I’m always willing to listen.”

Baekhyun appreciates how Chanyeol can be considering of it, but he’s long over it now, and Chanyeol deserves to know what happened. This could also be a way for him to tell him the truth of why he wanted to confirm whether if he still wants to go back to his ex.

“I’ll tell you.” Baekhyun said, and Chanyeol’s mouth part from shock, and Baekhyun prevents himself from laughing because of it. “I was young back then when I first had a boyfriend. It was fun at first, you know. I liked him a lot. I really did. I was willing to do everything for him. I can even run away from home just to go with him to wherever he wants to go. I can wait for him in the middle of the rain without holding an umbrella. I was stupid for him. I liked him so much I was willing to prove it to him. See, the thing was, I liked him but I don’t he did.”

Chanyeol frowns but doesn’t say anything, and Baekhyun takes it as a cue to continue, “He used me, Chanyeol.”

“What?” Chanyeol asks, irked.

“He used me to move on from his ex.” Baekhyun says and plasters a small smile on his face. Chanyeol’s eyes round in shock, “I would’ve understood it if it’s just that, but the son of a had no shame. He made me pay for almost all of my dates, thank God I’m a cheap eater, and I’m okay with fast food because I’ll definitely not survive if he made me pay a ton for a restaurant. The worst thing he made me do was he made me spend all of my money and almost half of my mom’s just for him to have a ing vacation with his ex. And I was so stupid to actually do it, thinking that the other ticket was for me, but what do you know… a day before the actual trip, he said he wants to break up because he’s still in love with his ex, and they’re trying to ‘mend’ things. 40 percent of me wants to go to him and punch him, but 60 percent of me wants to just cry in a corner and wallow in self-pity, thinking who could ever love someone like me?” he says and laughs bitterly at the thought.

“It’s like he made me a sugar daddy or something. Except I’m not a daddy, I was young, really young to even spend so much for a guy, and I’m not even rich. All of the money I wasted on him was from my allowance.” he adds and rubs the back of his neck out of habit. “So, yeah. That’s the story.”

“Baekhyun—”

“It’s okay now. I got over it already and regained myself.” he says, and Chanyeol looks like he has something to say but Baekhyun doesn’t let him, “Really, Chanyeol. I’m okay now. But if we’re off here spilling secrets at 7 AM, hey I have something to tell you.”

“What is it?” Chanyeol asks curiously. He still wants to ask if he’s really okay, but decides against it when he sees Baekhyun grinning widely at him.

“I haven’t told you this but the first time I realized I liked you, I wanted it to stop.” he says, “I guess I was just afraid that maybe the same things will happen again, but then you were so sweet, and I just can’t get enough of you. So, I just let it happen, took a risk, and kissed you just to prove to myself if it’s okay with you or not. But it only made me a lot more confused. You let me kiss you, but the first time I did it, you didn’t even kiss back. My mind was going insane, and that’s when I asked you about Kyungsoo. I’m not gonna lie, but when you said you weren’t sure if you wanted to try and fix everything with your past relationship, it opened up wounds I’ve tried to heal for years. Then again, who was I to stop you, right? It was different this time. We didn’t have a relationship, and I was just deluding myself that we have a chance.”

“That’s not true.”

“That’s what I was thinking about before.” Baekhyun said and smiles, “Not anymore. You like me now, right? I’m not being delusional or anything, right?”

“Yes,” Chanyeol replies and holds his hand, lacing them together. “You deserve the best in this world, and that son of a you just talked about isn’t the best. It’s too early for me to say this, but I’ll definitely try just to prove that I can be the best. So, why don’t we get up and get ready for the best date you’ll ever have? You can even call it The Best Date I’ve Ever Had™!”

Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol being happy and excited, and he’s not sure how to react. A part of him thinks things are going too fast, but then why shouldn’t he just go with the flow? It’s Chanyeol, anyway, and he’s willing to be lost just as long he’s beside him, hand in hand. It was overwhelming, but he likes it. It’s something that warms his heart, and he doesn’t want it to stop.

“Have I told you I’m starting to fall in love with you?” he blurts out, and the both of them are surprised because of it. Baekhyun giggles when he sees Chanyeol cover his face, attempting to cover his now blushing face. He removes Chanyeol’s hands from his face and places his hands lightly on his cheeks and smiles.

“You haven’t, but I’m glad you did.” Chanyeol replies, recovering from the giddy mess he just turned into. God, Baekhyun will be the death of him if he continues to blurt things like that. Baekhyun smiles at him, and he can’t help staring at those lips that have kissed him plenty of times before. “Can I kiss you?”

“Definitely.”

 

———

 

Their first date was spectacular, and Baekhyun’s too happy and elated when he went home that night. He even called Sehun and told him how Chanyeol took him to the arcade, and all they did was have a competition on who’ll score higher. Sehun questions Chanyeol’s way of spending their first date, but Baekhyun doesn’t care because he’s happy Chanyeol took him to an arcade after a long time, without even being asked to. And that’s like a 100% YES for him because , who doesn’t like people who actually invite him to do the thing he’s best at besides procrastinating?

It feels so surreal, but if it’s always this fun when he’s with Chanyeol, then he thinks he can get used to this.

Sadly, they can’t exactly have an all year fun because they’re still students, and they still have so much responsibilities to do before having all the time of their life. Real life’s a , but Baekhyun thinks it’s less now when Chanyeol’s just by his side.

They still spend some time together, of course. They go back to their usual routine where Baekhyun waits for Chanyeol to finish his shift, and they talk about all that happened today. Chanyeol drapes his coat on his shoulders when he shivers slightly from the cold wind, and Baekhyun thinks he’s just liking him even more whenever he does that. He doesn’t know it’s possible for him to like someone this much but then again, it’s Chanyeol, and everything Chanyeol-related is just surprising for him.

It’s been two months, and so far, so good. They always make it a point to spend some time with each other. In some days, Chanyeol will end up crashing in his place, exhausted after a long day of work, and Baekhyun will just stare at him, loving every second that they’re just like this. He just hopes he can do something to lessen the exhaustion Chanyeol’s feeling, but whenever he tells Chanyeol he can help, he just shakes his head and presses a quick kiss on his lips, effectively shutting him up. Unfair.

Today, they’re free to do whatever they want, so Chanyeol asks Baekhyun if he wants to have an early dinner, and who was Baekhyun to pass up such offer? Needless to say, the answer is yes, and makes him promise to make him eat good food because the only thing decent he’s been eating for the week is some ramen and the usual slice of cake he buys whenever he’s waiting for Chanyeol.

Baekhyun wasn’t exactly a picky date. Even if Chanyeol kept on asking him what he wants, he just answers with a usual whatever you want, and Chanyeol pouts at him but doesn’t ask further, holding his hand and leading the way to a nearby restaurant he’s been staring at for months but never really went to because it’s not really worth it to spend so much money when he’s eating alone. So needless to say, he’s surprised when they enter said restaurant because one, he’s really hungry and the food here looks good and deserves to be in his stomach, two, he’s happy he can finally eat in this place without anyone complaining how expensive the food is (That’s Sehun) and end up not eating on it, and three, he can eat with someone now, and he’s not all alone and he can just kiss Chanyeol right there and then, just to show how thankful he is.

The kissing can wait though, but his stomach can’t because just being inside this restaurant is enough to make him drool.

“Wipe that drool off your face, Byun Baek. Or else I’ll do it myself.” Chanyeol says and chuckles. Baekhyun hits his arm playfully when he realizes Chanyeol was just teasing him. “Come on now, there’s a lot of vacant seats, and I’m just glad not a lot of people reserved.”

Chanyeol guides him to a seat near the window, and Baekhyun’s just so happy because the place is nice, and all he wants is to devour for some good food. He trusts Chanyeol’s taste and lets him order for him. They patiently wait for their food while chattering about random things.

“I can’t believe your roommate is Junmyeon, as in Junmyeon the rookie singer!” he says, remembering how a very good-looking guy opened the door for him when he was waiting for Chanyeol outside his room, “I thought I was going to faint! He was so good looking I momentarily forgot who I was!”

“Yeah, I noticed. I actually thought you'd break up with me and go to Junmyeon,” Chanyeol says, laughing, “Good thing you remembered you have a boyfriend and we have a date.”

“I did forget about you, but you suddenly blocked the good view and that’s when I realized I actually have a boyfriend. The truth just hurts sometimes.” Baekhyun says, and laughs when Chanyeol pouts at him, “I’m kidding. I mean, he’s good looking but you’re the only one my eyes look for, and I can’t possibly be swayed by another handsome guy.”

“Should I be thankful?” he asks playfully, but Baekhyun nods, making Chanyeol laugh out loud. “Then thank you for being with me, and for not fainting in Junmyeon’s arms.”

Baekhyun laughs at that, “Well, Sehun will probably die if he knew I live right next to Junmyeon’s. He’ll probably pester me, or you, if he knew about it.”

“Let’s just keep it a secret.” Chanyeol says, “Plus I don’t think he’ll stay there for long. He’s already starting to get attention, and the school’s dormitory isn’t exactly the safest place for a person like him.”

“Huh. To think I was just getting used to having a superstar as a neighbor,” Baekhyun jokes, “Oh well. I won’t tell it to Sehun anyway. I don’t think he’s that interested anymore since he’s dating Jongin and they’re busy eating their faces off.”

“Can’t believe they’re dating,” Chanyeol says in disbelief, “Picturing them making out is the perfect killer, I think.”

“Oh, I’ve seen them making out and it’s definitely the opposite of the perfect killer, if you know what I mean.” Baekhyun says, wiggling his brows, while Chanyeol’s eyes round in shock. “Wild.”

Chanyeol laughs at that, and before he could even reply, the waiter places their food on their table and says, “Enjoy your food.”

“I’ll definitely enjoy it.” Baekhyun says and smiles brightly at the guy, making him step back because it was bright, and Chanyeol thinks anyone can fall for that smile. And Chanyeol doesn’t quite like that idea.

When the waiter leaves their table, the tip of his ears red, he turns to Baekhyun and says, “You shouldn’t smile at everyone like that.”

“Why not?” he asks, reaching for his napkin, and placing in onto his lap.

Because I think everyone would want you for themselves, “I don’t know… It’s just that your smile looks really pretty, and it leaves everyone captivated…” And I kinda just want you for myself?

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, and diverts his attention to his food, “Stop being jealous, Chanyeol. I’m in love with you and I’m not going to stop showing people how happy I am because of it.” he says, “Now, eat, you big baby.” and feeds him a part of his meal, and Chanyeol accepts it, the tip of his ears going red when Baekhyun smiles brightly at him, his eyes turning into crescents.

Chanyeol’s in love with him, and he doesn’t ever want it to stop.

 

 

“Let’s make out,” Baekhyun suddenly says and Chanyeol turns to him, eyes rounding from what he heard.

“What?” he says, quite taken aback.

“You don’t want to? Okay.” he says, taking his proposition back, and Chanyeol sits up fast upon hearing it.

“No! I mean, I want to. I was just… taken aback. I mean you usually just approach me and stuff. Didn’t expect to hear something so forward from you, that’s all.” he explains and moves closer to Baekhyun and sits right in front of him for a better view.

Baekhyun smirks, “What do you want me to say? ‘Hey Chanyeol, your lips are nice, but I think it would be nicer if it were on mine—”

Chanyeol groans and captures his boyfriend’s lips, closing the gap between them. He kisses him hungrily, and Baekhyun kisses back, eager, placing his hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder, and the other on his nape. Chanyeol has his hands on Baekhyun’s waist, and pulls him closer, carrying Baekhyun and places him on his lap. Baekhyun parts his lips, and Chanyeol takes it as an opportunity to slide his tongue into Baekhyun’s mouth, frantically kissing him. Baekhyun thinks he can just get drunk with the way Chanyeol’s kissing him senseless, and he doesn’t want to stop.

They continue kissing more, and Chanyeol groans when Baekhyun starts to nip at the side of his neck, leaving marks and kissing it right after. Baekhyun his lips, and kisses Chanyeol again, making him lose his breath. Chanyeol lays Baekhyun down, his back against the mattress as their lips continue being attached. His hands roam underneath Baekhyun’s shirt, and Baekhyun moans at the touch.

However, just as Chanyeol was about to remove his shirt, a loud ring startles the both of them, making them abruptly stop.

“Whose phone is that? What a ing ,” Baekhyun pants, “Nevermind that phone. C’mere.” he says, his lips, and pulls Chanyeol for a kiss. As much as Chanyeol wants to focus on devouring Baekhyun’s lips, he’s distracted with how loud the phone is ringing, making him part from Baekhyun.

Baekhyun whines, “Why?”

“Answer the phone, Baekhyun.” he says, voice lower than usual, sending a shiver down to Baekhyun’s spine, “Answer it then we’ll continue this.”

Baekhyun reluctantly gets up, and reaches for his phone, not bothering to look at who’s calling, “What? Who are you and what do you need? I’m busy ---- Mom!?” he says loudly, eyes rounding in shock when he looks at the Caller ID. “Mom! What? … Is it today!? … You should’ve texted me! … Right. Okay, fine. It’s not like I have a choice. … Okay, mom. Drive safely.” he says and hangs up.

Chanyeol looks at him expectantly, waiting for him to kiss him again, but Baekhyun just ruffles his hair in annoyance and doesn’t bother taking a step towards him.

“I totally forgot that my mom was picking me up today!” he said, annoyed, mumbling curses under his breath, and he begins to ramble, “Hey, what do you say we meet my mom? I’m sure she’ll be delighted to hear that I finally have a boyfriend. I mean, I’ll understand if you think it’s fast. I mean, we literally just started dating recently. We are dating now, right? Right. So, what do you think? Okay nevermind. I’ll just go alone—”

He was stopped abruptly when Chanyeol places a quick peck on his lips, “I don’t mind, Baekhyun. We can go meet your mother.”

“Are you sure? I’ll understand if you think it’s too fast. I mean, I think it’s fast, but I don’t have an issue with people meeting my mom. I just… I don’t want you to think that everything’s too fast. I don’t want you to leave just yet.” he says anxiously, and Chanyeol just smiles at him adoringly, gaze heavy on him, and Baekhyun can’t help staring back.

What did he even do to deserve Baekhyun in his life? He’s willing to thank all the gods for having the chance to meet this man in front of him.

“Chanyeol, we don’t exactly have the time to stare at each other. As much as I want to continue what we were doing, I’m afraid we can’t because any minute now my mom’s going to arrive.” Baekhyun says in a rush, brushing his hair with his hand. “I meant it when I said it’s okay if you won’t go. Just to make things clear, are you going to go with me or not?”

Chanyeol just can’t help staring at this beautiful mess in front of him. He thinks Baekhyun looks the best like this, when he’s not filtering anything and he’s just saying things he wants to say. It’s the little things Chanyeol likes noticing the most, it’s what he wants to treasure. It’s how Baekhyun clings onto him whenever they’re sleeping whether in his room or Baekhyun’s. It’s how a simple touch from Baekhyun can make him go insane, but at the same it can calm him down. It’s how Baekhyun would clean every cookie crumbs on Chanyeol’s carpet, afraid that he might leave dirt and his roommate would kick him out. It’s how he would wait for him every night after his shift, and he would tell him everything about his day, and Chanyeol would do the same. It’s how he always steals a worried glance at Chanyeol every time he’s yawning too much. It’s how he lets him use his favorite pillow to cuddle with on days when Baekhyun’s too busy to join him in bed. It’s how Baekhyun would always whisper him sweet words as he brushes his hair when he thinks he’s sleeping. It’s how his lips are red and swollen right now, and how Chanyeol thinks he’s perfect just like that.

Everything’s falling into place, and he’s falling in love just like this. So, what’s the harm in meeting his boyfriend’s mother this early into a relationship when he knows they’ll be in for a long run?

He places a quick peck on his lips, leaving Baekhyun flustered. He holds his hands, and Chanyeol’s sure he doesn’t ever want to let go.

“Why not?”