Hello my darling friends! <3

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So maybe Jongdae lied about that. Maybe his checking out of Baekhyun wasn’t a sporadic once or twice. But Jongdae doesn’t really blame himself for that - Baekhyun takes care of his looks well and there’s no denying it, he’s very simply handsome. Added to that, it’s always been easy between them – they’re pretty good friends after all – and though Jongdae said Baekhyun wasn’t his type in the end, the kiss lingers in the back of his mind.

Even while he’s at Sehun’s party, drinking the night away and urging his friends the along already, he thinks of the kiss the two of them shared. Baekhyun is pretty dominant, he noticed and he quite likes that, feeling that blush creep up his cheeks again. And now, while the short guy sits on Chanyeol’s lap at the bar, Jongdae feels the tiniest bit envious. Well, not that he really gave himself a chance with Baekhyun anyway though. He even told Jongdae he’s too short. He snorts at the thought, grabbing a glass from somewhere, no idea who it belongs to, and downs it in one go. His face contorts at the taste he didn’t expect and he winces when he puts the glass back down. Then he finds himself a seat somewhere near a wall – invisible.

What even is he supposed to do now? Of course he’s seen what happened between Chanyeol and Baekhyun since day one and of course he wants nothing more than for the two of them to be happy. But does that ultimately mean Jongdae can’t be happy himself? Especially now that the two of them are kissing, Jongdae knows that one kiss was the only one he’ll ever get.

“Hyung, you’re a bit too drunk,” he vaguely hears from beside himself, but Jongdae doesn’t pay it any attention. He knows he’s drunk after all. How could he not be? It’s not like he’s all of a sudden very sad that Baekhyun won’t pay him attention or anything – but at that thought, he frowns, because it very much feels like that. His vision gets a little blurry and he feels how the alcohol doesn’t so much kill the feeling of unease in his chest. “Hyung,” he hears again, this time a little more persistently, and Jongdae turns his head to face him. How can he be so sober at a party like this?

“Why aren’t you dancing, Jongin–ah?” he asks, slurred voice and a frown on his face because even he hears the tears. Jongin looks at him with a soft expression, a sigh escaping his full lips when he dejectedly pulls his hyung in an awkward embrace, but only after wiping tears from below Jongdae’s eyes.

“I was, then I saw you sitting here, looking like you’d rather be dead than be here,” he says carelessly and in the difficult side–embrace with Jongin squatting down on the ground, Jongdae whacks his dongsaeng’s arm with the little strength he can muster while being drunk.

“Don’t be so blunt, Jongin,” he slurs, but if he were to be honest with himself for a tiny second, he’d know he’s grateful he’s not alone. The younger boy doesn’t reply to that, instead, he unexpectedly hoists Jongdae up from his seat and steadies him by the shoulders. Without his consent, Jongdae is pushed towards the exit, passing by drunk couples and not–couples grinding against each other and dancing their hearts out. He slurs something about letting Sehun know where they’re going, see if he’s still enjoying himself, but Jongin kindly ignores his comments.

He has half a mind to consider Jongin’s touches as gentle and sweet – but now that he’s feeling a little lonely, anyone could fit that description in his mind. However, Jongdae’s quite sure that the words rolling off Jongin’s plump lips once they reach the chilly night air, couldn’t so easily by said by just anyone.

“You’re always looking out for everyone, but when push comes to shove, no one pays attention to you. That seems a little unfair.” Jongdae furrows his brows in confusion.

“Which push ‘nd shove you talking ‘bout?” he asks and wants to point out that Jongin pays attention to him now, but his tongue feels a little thick, so he sticks with what he already slurred instead. When he stumbles on a deranged tile of the sidewalk, Jongin’s arms quickly circle his shoulders and he can hear the taller boy sigh right beside his ear. Jongdae is not quite sure where the shiver he feels, comes from all of a sudden. “Sorry,” he mumbles either way.

“What’s got you drinking so much to make it this bad,” Jongin muses, not quite stepping away when he leads his hyung back to the dormitory building. “And I was talking about you bawling your eyes out, hyung. I think I shouldn’t be the only one noticing and I feel bad about that.”

Jongdae can’t think straight. The alcohol is blurring his mind, but he sees Jongin’s worried expression right in front of him when he’s tucked in bed. The younger man had taken him to his own apartment instead of Jongdae’s, probably because he doesn’t know his code and since they stepped inside the building, the older man hasn’t spoken a word.

Was Jongdae in his own bed now, he would curl on his side and cuddle his bedsheets, but he can’t look away from Jongin’s face. Thoroughly confused, Jongdae frowns and reaches a hand out to touch the handsome face hovering over him and sees the confusion spread onto his dongsaeng’s face as well.

“I can sleep here?” Jongdae asks and the younger boy laughs, gently grabbing hold of his hand and tucking it right back under the covers.

“Of course.”

That’s how Jongdae wakes up in the morning in another man’s bed, splitting headache to remind him of his own stupidity. It would have been fun if he didn’t remember what had happened last night, if he could fuss about the possibility of him and Jongin sleeping together, but he knows nothing happened. To be honest, even if he didn’t remember, he’d know Jongin wouldn’t take advantage of his drunk hyung. Jongin isn’t even interested.

But when he thinks even more about it, Jongin has been awfully sweet. To guide him back home, save him from being alone, kindly offering his bed and – where is Jongin now? Jongdae immediately sits up straight, but the pain in his head makes him moan out in pain and his hands fly to his scalp, knowing they can’t alleviate the pain but he has to do something. The commotion startled Jongin and the younger man comes running as if he’d been called.

“You okay?” he asks worriedly, sitting down on the bed beside his hyung, but now devoid of the confidence of holding him. Quite possibly, he had some drinks last night as well, he was just not as far gone as Jongdae was.

“ing headache,” the older of the two mumbles and at that, Jongin disappears again quickly, only to return two minutes later, painkillers in one hand and a glass of water in the other. “Oh my god you’re an angel,” Jongdae mutters when he’s handed the items. Jongin laughs bashfully when he rubs his neck.

“I know you’d do the same.” They fall in a somewhat comfortable silence but Jongdae is a little too conscious of the eyes that are on him when he downs the water. He’d ask him what’s up, but as he puts the glass on the bedside table, Jongin speaks up. “How’d you sleep?” He sits next to Jongdae again and the older boy doesn’t know why he’s examined with such hesitant … tenderness – it’s not as if it’s the first time he’s had a hangover. By far. Now that he thinks about it, it’s not even the first time Jongin takes care of him when he’s had a hangover. Not to mention that time when Jongdae caught a cold – the thoughts spread a warm feeling through his chest. He won’t comment on it though, afraid to drive Jongin away as it’s very nice to have someone looking after him for a while – especially with his head feeling like it’s about to split in two.

“Pretty well,” he answers, running his hand over his face, hoping the pain will die down soon. “You? Where’d you sleep anyways?” he then asks, furrowing his brows in worry once he’s reminded of the fact he slept in Jongin’s bed.

“Oh on the couch,” Jongin replies dismissively, purposely not answering the first question. And Jongdae looks over to said couch – it’s not any larger than his own and he knows it doesn’t fit Jongin’s outstretched body. Wow he feels bad. “Don’t give me that look,” Jongin says, an embarrassed blush on his cheeks and Jongdae wonders – has he always been so adorable? His chest flutters a little at the sight.

A few days later, he makes up his mind. He’s finally going to ask that boy at the café out on a date. He’s only struggling with one little detail. He can’t ask Baekhyun to come with him because his friend – who he just now realized, is his closest friend – is too busy doing this and that with Chanyeol. Jongdae has to remind himself that he wants them to be happy.

Of course his mind drifts back to Jongin and his bashful sweetness – maybe he’ll want to come with him? It’s not exactly like he can’t go by himself, it’s just that he feels a little nervous because of what he plans on doing. He whisks his phone out from his pocket and searches for his chat with the cute, tall boy. Of course he can admit he’s cute. Inside his mind, that is.

Oh. Jongin… can’t come with him. Not today anyway – he’s grocery shopping with Kyungsoo. And Jongdae gets that. Kyungsoo doesn’t so easily open up to anyone and Jongin is such a sweetheart, of course the older boy would reach out to him. Lately, he’s seen the two together more and more often. But really, maybe Kyungsoo could have gotten those groceries by himself, Jongdae thinks, just a tad bitterly, but he won’t allow himself to think about it more. Of course Kyungsoo has the right to make friends – even if that includes the friend Jongdae wanted to spend time with.

But he shuts himself up, he can do this on his own. He doesn’t need anyone to come with him. Now of course he’d very much like some help on what he’d wear, but even that, Jongdae can do alone. He dresses way better than Baekhyun anyway, he thinks with a chuckle, because that’s not true. Their styles are just different. Well those jeans though – they looked so good on Baekhyun. Jongdae sighs when he runs a hand through his hair. What’s even up with him lately? Since when is he so pinned on Baekhyun? Besides, isn’t he going to see the guy at the café now?

He chooses one of his favorite plaid shirts, finishes it with a simple pair of jeans and white sneakers. Well. Good to go, right? He tousles his hair when he walks past his bathroom mirror one last time and he sees the distress on his face. When Jongdae allows himself to laugh at his own stupidity, he dares say he looks a lot better already.

“Hello,” he says when he’s finally there. He definitely didn’t take a one–hour detour, if you’re wondering. The boy in front of him smiles, like he always does, but this time, his eyebrows rise in curiosity because Jongdae always only orders. “I’m Chen,” he says and flinches because why did he introduce himself with that nickname from literal ages ago? It’s so old nobody even calls him that anymore. His cheeks burn up, especially when the guy chuckles – totally cute, if Jongdae allowed himself to think so.

“Oh, hello, I’m Xiumin,” he says, a wide smile on his pretty lips, bunching up his cheeks and showing his gums. Jongdae can feel his palms get a little too clammy and he’s pretty happy that there are no other costumers waiting in line.

“I uh… I would – I mean, maybe… would you like to uh… go out for a drink sometime with me?” His voice gradually grows smaller and the smile slips off the other boy’s face. He was way too direct – they barely even exchanged their names and Jongdae already jumps on him? The silence that follows increasingly becomes more uncomfortable and there’s only one thought on Jongdae’s mind. What have I done?

“Oh! I’m so sorry,” the boy then says, looking genuinely sorry with the frown that etches itself on his pretty face. “I… I have girlfriend,” he mutters, surprisingly softly as if he’s afraid of offending Jongdae.

Jongdae isn’t offended. He’s merely upset with himself for having ruined this perfect relationship he had with this boy – just smiles and nothing more. So he runs out of the café and vows to never return again. The coffee here isn’t all that good anyway – but wait. It is. It’s literally the best coffee he ever tasted and he knows for a fact that Baekhyun loves the latte macchiato from this particular shop. his life, very much.

He runs right back to the dormitory building, opening the door with a ferocious push and grunts practically out of nowhere. He stomps his way to the lift – but feels his legs slow down at the sight of Jongin. With Kyungsoo. And a bunch of bags full of groceries. He notices the way Kyungsoo laughs, heart-shaped lips, head tilted up to Jongin while the younger boy looks down, a fond smile on his handsome features. Jongdae realizes he stares – but only when Jongin catches his gaze.

“Oh, hey hyung!” he says, more enthusiastically than Jongdae anticipated and he thinks he knows the reason. He’s with Kyungsoo after all and with the way the two are smiling and laughing while waiting for the lift to arrive – Jongdae doesn’t even know why his heart clenches right now. Without replying properly, he turns on his heels, tears pricking behind his eyes.

“I’ll take the stairs,” he mutters, unsure whether he’s heard by anyone and unsure of whether he wants that or not.

Unlike Baekhyun, Jongdae doesn’t have a reason to run, so he takes his sweet time. Nevertheless, he’s pretty much exhausted by the time he reaches the sixth floor and he wonders wholeheartedly why their year had been assigned the sixth floor. Ah well. At least that means he won’t run into Jongin here, he thinks and with a frown, he wonders why he would think something so silly. His cute, tall friend has done nothing wrong.

When he stalks through the hallway to reach his private little den, he slows down when he sees the subject of his latest worries stand right there. Jongin. With a worried little frown on his face. Jongdae has half a mind to turn the other way and just go back outside again, but he doesn’t feel like that at all, so with a sigh and the best smile he can muster, he approaches the younger boy.

“Hyung… something really seems up with you,” Jongin comments as soon as the shorter man presses his code into the pad, unlocking the door smoothly. Without asking if it’s alright – he knows it is – Jongin follows him inside.

“Nothing is up, don’t worry,” he says, but knows very well that his eyes might be a little red from his persistent tears. There’s absolutely no way he will burden Jongin with his sadness though.

“Did you go to the café alone?” the taller presses and Jongdae sees it as the easy way out, so when he flops down on his bed, he turns his head to face Jongin, who crouches down next to him. Too close.

“Yes. I got rejected. He has a girlfriend,” he says, a little bit dryly and he concludes for himself that that’s not what’s really bothering him. It’s everything stacked atop each other, starting with his… fascination for Baekhyun. Not that he’d let Jongin in on that though.

“Do you… want to talk about it?” Jongin asks, a little more carefully than he has to. Jongdae shakes his head – as well as he can with half of it mushed in his pillow – with a smile. “Would you like me to leave?” It’s asked in a neutral voice, but Jongdae frowns, startled.

“No. If you don’t mind staying,” he adds, a bit awkwardly before he decides it’s about time he sat up straight. When Jongin doesn’t immediately leave, the older boy pats the mattress beside himself. Like an obedient puppy, Jongin sits down next to him against the headboard. “Do you mind if I… lean against you for a bit?” Jongdae asks, for the first time feeling a little insecure around Jongin and he’s not really sure why that is.

To his surprise, Jongin doesn’t waste any time to instead pull the older boy against his side, letting him rest his head on his shoulder. His arm snakes around Jongdae’s waist and the shorter boy feels his heart beat a little faster. Nevertheless, he breathes out shakily, trying to let go of all the pent up tension he’s been feeling up until now.

Soon enough, he feels those tears well up in his eyes again, but this time, he doesn’t fight them. When he starts sniffling and sputtering a little, Jongin shuffles a little to be able to fully embrace him. It’s warm and so heartwarming and sweet. Jongdae clutches the front of Jongin’s long-sleeved shirt and he presses himself closely against him, hushed by the younger boy. He feels how a hand steadily soothes him, gently dragging up and down his back. He’s easily drawn to his scent, warm and masculine, even though Jongin is younger than him.

Jongdae wonders if Jongin does this for every one of their friends. He wonders if… why does he feel so strained just thinking about the possibility of him holding Kyungsoo so tenderly? He frowns at himself, at his ugly thoughts and feels like he’s not rightfully in this embrace any longer, so he slowly pushes Jongin a little away. He dislikes it, the loss of warmth and contact, but he can’t claim him like this. It’s… unfair.

“I’m sorry, Jongin-ah,” he says, sniffles one last time before he tries to look away from the younger boy, but it’s rather impossible with how close the two are sitting. Jongin says nothing and to his own surprise, Jongdae takes it as a cue to spill what’s on his mind. “I… think I’ve have a crush on Baekhyun for a long time,”  he confesses, fingers playing with the hem of his plaid shirt and shortly glancing up at Jongin to see if he’s disgusted by this, but the younger man still looks at him with the same soft expression. “So I kind of got rejected twice. Or maybe three times, if I count–” he halts himself there. Wide-eyed because of his own shock, he looks up at Jongin, but sees the taller look at him with confusion. Jongin doesn’t press about this matter, though, and Jongdae thanks the heavens he doesn’t.

“That’s the reason why you were so drunk at Sehun’s party, I take it?” the younger man asks, tilting his head downwards a little to catch Jongdae’s gaze as he tried looking away again. With a defeated chuckle, the older nods.

“He kissed me, just to see what it would do,” Jongdae continues, voice barely above a whisper because saying this kind of thing – to Jongin, who seemed to be having a thing for Baekhyun as well, or maybe, and he’s really not sure of this anymore, he misinterpreted the signs he saw. Because he hasn’t been seeing it lately. Lately, it’s been Kyungsoo. But it’s never him. Nobody ever looks at Jongdae.

“And? Did it do something?” Jongin asks and when Jongdae snaps his eyes back up to the taller man’s face, he sees a blush and he wonders where it came from. Jongdae bites his lower lip with a shake of his head.

“Not what it should have done. And besides, I’m too short,” he says, laughs, but feels his throat constrict. “But that’s alright,” he then adds, reaching his hand out to Jongin’s face because he looks a little uncomfortable now. “I mean, you’re here. Instead of with Kyungsoo,” he adds and he can slap himself across the face right now because those words were not supposed to be said. He retracts his hand quickly and mumbles, “oh god, forget I said that.” Another daring glance at Jongin’s face shows him confusion again.

“I don’t know why you’d think I’d rather be with Kyungsoo-hyung,” he says, then he smiles bashfully, again and Jongdae feels a flutter in his stomach – something he realizes he felt long before as well. “Would you let me kiss you? To see what it would do?” Jongdae feels his heart hammer in his chest and he’s pretty sure that there’s a blush on his cheeks – but he doesn’t know what to say. “Well I’m guessing Baekhyun-hyung didn’t give you much of a choice either,” Jongin continues and there’s the tiniest smile on his face when he bites his lower lip.

The younger man leans in, tilting his head to the right to plant a short kiss on Jongdae’s lips. It’s so soft, the touch almost fleeting, but he’s not finished yet. Jongin wraps his arms around his hyung’s waist, Jongdae’s eyes long closed when his own fingers find Jongin’s neck. The soft, full lips are addicting, Jongdae finds, and he kisses back, allowing himself to feel lighter than he did before, as if burdens are off his chest now. He feels how Jongin smiles in the kiss, but he pulls away before either of them deepens it.

Jongin’s eyes are so soft when Jongdae looks into them and he wonders if this is what he felt all this time – that he likes him. Jongin chuckles at his dazed expression before there’s another short, soft kiss on his lips and the older man breathes in deeply to process all that just happened.

“So, did that do something?” Jongin asks, playfully innocent and Jongdae chuckles a little nervously, heart beating so wildly he’s afraid it will be audible when he speaks up.

“Pretty much, yeah. Did you like it?” he asks, just to be sure.

“I like short,” Jongin whispers and both chuckle at that. Jongdae looks down a little, finding one of Jongin’s hands to play with his fingers nervously.

“So … can I conclude I was wrong about you liking Baekhyun? Or Kyungsoo?” he asks, hopeful smile on his face, but it falls with the information he has just gotten. “They’re both short–” Jongin laughs his whole-hearted laugh like Jongdae barely ever gets to see. It’s… quite something. Stomach fluttering.

“Yeah but I don’t see them going to the same lengths as you do to make sure everyone around you is happy. I… I like you hyung. I thought that much was clear,” he says, then laughs a little bashfully again and Jongdae feels a little stupid now. A little… blind, though he hates to admit that, even to himself.

“Well you haven’t made it that clear,” he says in his own defense, but he shakes his head. “Maybe you have and I just didn’t pay enough attention.” For a moment, he wonders whether or not he can confess the same way, but he does so – in his own Jongdae-way. “I do get a little fluttery feeling, to be honest, when I see you smile like that. You’re very cute, Jongin-ah. And you’re considerate and nice. And really handsome,” he rambles until he decides that it’s not going to work like this. Instead, he leans in to kiss Jongin’s pretty lips instead. He can read the surprise off his dongsaeng’s face before he closes his eyes, but soon enough, his kiss is returned and he’s backed against the headboard. Jongdae is not going to admit he starts feeling a little hot a little too fast.

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I hope you liked it! >///< I'm a bit self-conscious about it just because it's not Chanbaek, but yeah. I still hope it was enjoyable ^^