🎼 Baby I was a fo…oh....ool. I was a fool.

his song has been blaring almost everyday within the little café and one specific barista loved this fact. That barista is none other than me.

“Wow! How is the singer? His voice is really good.” 

“I know, its so emotional and very sentimental”

“OMYGOSH! I am crying!”

I can very much hear the good comments of the customers about the song and I just can’t help but widen my smile, however, the smile I am wearing did not last long as I overheard something that brought back to my bitter reality.

“Jinwoo-oppa really is so perfect. He really has it all.”

“Imagine, a perfect voice with a perfect face with a perfect career.” 

“He is so dreamy!”

And with that, I stood up and made my way back to the cash register to work again.

“If they only knew” I whispered.

“They could if you will show them.” My co-worker / best friend whispered back to me.

“Junhoe-yah, you know very well why I cannot do that.” I frustratedly looked at him as I started working on the order that was just previously placed. 

“Jinani, its already been years since that day! It was just your nerves that got the best out of you.” He explained. “Also, to be truthful, it was not even your fault. It is the fault of your stupid, egoistic brother who instead of help you conquer your fear even fed it. Seriously, he is scary.” Junhoe continued.

“Anyways, enough of this depressing talk and let us talk about a more important point. I have been requested AGAIN to perform in one of the famous underground bars in Seoul, Wanna watch my gig later?” Junhoe bargained with me as he nudged me while wiggling his thick eyebrows mischievously. “Or maybe, you can even join me! I do miss having duets with you.”

To be totally honest, I am really tempted to join him. I really am. After all, I have always loved singing. The only issue for me is, I am not as confident as Junhoe is.

“I-I-I don’t know Jun, I can watch your gig later but join you?” I hesitantly answered

“Oh, come on Hyung!!!! You are wasting your beautiful voice!!!! And I don’t just say it to anyone subpar to my amazing vocals. So please!?” 

“Arrrrgggghhhh!!!! Fine! But don’t blame me if your fans decided to leave you because of me ok!” I gave in. I really did miss singing and this is a good excuse. Plus, it is a good excuse for me to disobey the rules. 

FLASHBACK:
"Jinani, can you be so dear and help Hyung with his project?” and as a brother who had always looked up on my older brother, I nodded in agreement.

“Hyung! I am scared.” 

“It’s ok Jinani, you don’t have to show your face. Just sing.”

“That was beautiful Jinani! Hyung is so proud of you!”
………..
“Hyung! Why did you use my voice to enter that contest! That was cheating!”

“It is not cheating as long as you will not say anything. Right baby brother.”

“But Hyung……. that was my voice.”

“But no one needs to know that. Besides, who would want to see you sing? No one right. You’ll just stand on the stage all froze up like ice and will only make a fool out of yourself.”
…………
“DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT STOLE MY COMPOSITION?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. So, if you’re done being all cranky and hysterical, please leave my room.”

“You did steal my composition. How could you! I poured my heart and soul into making that and you just stole it, how could you do that to your brother.?”

“I DID NOT steal it. I made it useful. I made it in to a hit that will be heard in the radios than be stuck in your damn notebook until it fades.”

“YOU’RE UNBELIVABLE!”
…………..
“Congratulations adieul! You made it to YGEX!!!!!”

“Thank you! Omma. It was a long shot but I guess it is worth it.”
……….
“Jinani, isn’t that your brother?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Why does his singing voice sound exactly like you?”

“The same question I have for years as well Juneya. But I guess this is for the better.”

“So, it was really your voice?”

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“J-J-Juneya…….! A-a-re you sure about this?” I asked my friend as I started feeling the nerves kicking in.  “W-w-what if I screw up your performance? W-w-what if they don’t invite you again to perform because of me? W-w-what if…...”

“Hyung! Chill ok. Look at me. You will not ed up. Besides, if you do, you can always redeem yourself by singing again in my next performance.” Junhoe assured me as he flashed his adorable gummy smile.

I guess his right, I mean, I have always always love to perform but was ever so doubtful of what I am capable of. Maybe its time for me to try it out, once again. So, I gathered my together and breathed in and out to calm my agitation and before I can finish, someone approached Junhoe and informed us that it is his turn to perform. By the time Junhoe started performing, I can swear, my best friend was gone and was replaced by another person. I was blown away……no scrap that, I was mesmerize on how the song seemed to come alive just because of Junhoe’s voice. His raspy voice is filled with so much raw emotion that I felt that my eyes, started to water.

🎶 Carry the music, the memories, and keep them inside…...

🎶 This is who I am inside, this is who I am, I’m not going to hide….

🎶 Cause the greatest risk we’ll ever take is by far is to stand in the light and be seen as we are….

“Wow! Junhoe is really a good singer!” I exclaimed while wiping my eyes dry after being all emotional after 3 songs. Then the sadness I was feeling was instantly replaced by fear when I heard Junhoe.

“So, First, I would like to thank everyone for coming today! Thank you for continuously supporting me. With that, I have never felt bored performing.” Junhoe started. It was heartwarming if you’re his fan but for me, I was sweating bullets as I am fully aware what will happen next.

“And as for my moral obligation to all of you to provide beautiful music, I would like to bring here on stage a good friend of mine, Jinhwan-hyung.” He introduced me oh so proudly.

And with that, everyone’s eyes are on me and I could curse Junhoe for putting me in this situation but I was like on autopilot as I now find myself standing beside this of friend of mine and was already handing me a microphone.

“And you all would have probably guessed it, we will be singing a duet for all of you. So please enjoy!” he ended as he started pulling me to sit beside him and looked at me.

“J-j-j-juneya. I-I-I-I can’t!” I stuttered as fear slowly started consuming me. “I can’t do it”

“Jinani. Look at me, you CAN do it. I’m here remember. I will help you.” Junhoe ensured me as he held my hand and gripped it tightly. “Just close your eyes and just feel the music that you always loved.”

And so, I did. I closed my eyes and let the piano sounds fill my ears and my heart and then, next thing I know, I was singing my soul out.

🎶 Yes, I do, I believe that one I will be where I was right there, right next to you.

Oh my gosh, I’m doing this. Just listen to the music Jinhwan, Listen to your heart

🎶 and its hard the days just seem so dark, the moon the stars are nothing without you.

I AM DOING IT!!!! Ok…. Time to let go Jinhwan, let go!

🎶 Can I lay by your side? Next to youuuu… You…oooohhh……

Ohhhhhhhhh. Was that Junhoe’s voice? What should I do? I………….

Then I felt Junhoe’s hands tightly holding me as if assuring me that everything is alright and so I let the song take me away.

🎶 and make sure you’re alright. I’ll take care of you. I don’t want to be here, if I can’t be with you tonight.

🎶 Told me not to cry, when you are gone, but the feelings overwhelming it has to strong!

Then Junhoe and I sang our hearts out together…

🎶 Can I lay by your side? Next to youuuu… You…oooohhh…… 🎶

After the music stops, I slowly opened my eyes and I was surprise at what I am seeing. People are standing up clapping. Some making whooping sounds. Some shouting for encore. And all I can remember after that is Junhoe pulling me to the back stage and was being obnoxiously excited and here I am at dazed.

“Junhoe…….” I pulled his shirt to get his attention.

“What did just happen? Why are they clapping?” I asked like a stupid person.

“Hyung!!!!! What you did back there was amazing!!!! They love your voice! I told you they will love you!” Junhoe excitedly stated as he jumps around and making all these weird noises.

“I-I-I don’t understand…...T-t-they love me? They love me singing?” I confirmed as realization suddenly hits me and my eyes started getting all watery again. YES! I am a cry baby ok! Deal with it!

“J-j-June!!!! They love my voice. I did it. I did it!” I was crying tears of joy. Its been so long since this happened and I can never be happier.

“Neh! You did it Jinani! That over there is the Jinhwan I met 6 years ago who loves singing more than anything in the world.” Junhoe said warmly as he wipes away those pesky bullets of water that still flows out of my eyes. 

I hugged him thanked him for doing this amazing stuff when someone tapped Junhoe’s shoulder.

“Hi! First, I would like to say that the two of you have such wonderful voices and it would be such a waste to have it locked up underground.” Stated by the guy. From the looks of it, this stranger is not younger than me but also not so much older. Probably the same age as my brother.  And then he continued saying “By the way, my name is BI, a music producer from YGEX and I would love to offer the both of you a deal of a lifetime.”

Feeling that this is something I should not be part of, I tried to distance myself from the two gentlemen only to be stopped by BI.

“Jinhwan-shi, where are you going? This deal cannot go through without you as well.”

“Ehhhhhhh! N-n-nah?!” I asked.
BI in turn just nodded and smiled.‘Wow! He’s good-looking’ I thought to myself. 

Junhoe and I both looked at each other. Shocked, excited…. Shocked!

“So, is your silence a “yes” then?”

“I-I-I D-d-d-don’t know for me BI-shi….”

“YES!!!! You got yourself a deal!!!!” Junhoe exclaimed

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Seriously Junhoe! I CANNOT DO IT!” I angrily explicated.

After Junhoe agreed to the proposal of BI, we are automatically scheduled for a meeting with him tomorrow morning, but that is not what made me all frantic about this situation but the very fact that BI is actually also works for YGEX. The YGEX! The very company that his signed his older brother.

“Juneya! I cannot do it!” 

“Jinani-Hyung, you have already proven yourself in the stage last night! Your voice IS amazing! Until when are you going to deny that fact?”

“You know very well why I cannot do it, right!”

“Ah! Your ‘helping hand’ act for your brother?” Junhoe air quoted sarcastically. “Until when are you going to be in his shadow hmmmm.” The younger asked me as he fixed my hair that was ruffled by none other than me.

“You are the beautiful Jinhwan. And there is nothing to be worried about, I will be beside you. I will always protect you.” Junhoe’s words astonished me. I know he is all warm and fuzzy despite his cold exterior but this is the first time that…………. that my heart pounded so loudly.

“I-I-I…….” I was speechless and so all I did was leaned on his hand on my cheeks. “Thank you Junhoe. What will I do without you.” I smiled.
“So……Ready for a chance of a lifetime Mr. Kim?”

“Certainly Mr. Koo! Let’s get that record deal!”

Junhoe is right. It’s about time for me to do something for myself. To discover more of myself. I smiled and braced myself as I open another chapter of my life.