Point of Deviation

[A Christmas Special]

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The sky is in a warped blue and orange combination as the dusk approaches. The rays reflect on her eyes as it refract along the buildings of the University. She squint her eyes to reduce the light passing through her eyes. The late afternoon atmosphere is gloomy and she can’t help but feel her feelings intensify even more. It blends with the exact emotions vibrating through her system, from her heavy heart, to her uneven breathing, to her numb brain. And it's making her lips stiff; emotions blank. The reverberations of the ghosts from her memories are there, she can see it everywhere she looks. When she closes her eyes, she could hear it coming from silence itself. She’s tired.

So tired...

Under the luminous light from the projector that radiates through the expanse of the room, mum voices from the students could be heard as the voice of the main characters echo in the background. The unsinkable ship, as what it was once addressed, is beginning to sink in the deep Atlantic waters. Along with the fancy decorations and their magnificence, chandeliers and their crystal beam, treasures and their worth, jewelries and their owners, are two lovers who found their similarities through their differences. The mere few hours of spending time with one another, the memories spent together, the imprint of love, of affection, of protection, all were sinking because of an iceberg.

The students remain silent as the screams of adult and children alike echo in the room, through the erectly standing speaker in either side of the hall. Muffled sobs are vivid as it's the only misplaced sound there is. Tears glisten in each eye of boys and girls alike. Half of the ship no longer is sight, its other half about to follow. Tension can be felt through the room as the man held onto her woman protectively, as if wanting to save her from the impending doom. They were on the railing, holding as tight as if their life depended on it.

She kept her face hidden in the shadows, the movie making no effect. She had shed lots of tears already, and she doesn’t know if her lachrymal glands are still capable of producing some more. She stared blankly on the screen, the sound of stifled sobs from her classmates are so clear on her ears. From her spot on the farthest corner of the room, she stand as witness to the lamenting silhouettes of students who are watching attentively. If they could help it, so as not to miss a single flicker of action, they wouldn't blink.

What was life like, again? How does it feel to feel emotions awash you once again? What is it like to cry over a late night romantic movie's tragic ending? What is it like to dream over a perfect love story? What is it like?

What is it like to be normal again?

She couldn't remember. All that flashes through her mind are the flashbacks of the memories that brought her to this state of humanity. The happenings that lead her to this state of mind, state of heart. Her wrong moves, conflicting decisions, unforgiving choices, betraying conscience. They were there. Still fresh but not yet painful, like a fresh cut. She could feel the blood oozing out from the torn edges of her heart. But where's the pain?

She couldn't feel it. And the reason? She doesn't welcome it. She doesn't accept that it already happened. If there's one distinct characteristic that she has, it's her way of thinking in advance. She would always anticipate for the several possibilities about to arise in a certain situation and tries to device the way she should react should the possibility came into reality. But what happened just months ago weren’t anticipated. It wasn't thought over. It wasn't expected. And that's why she doesn't know how to react.

Up until now.

The woman held onto the hand of the man he loves, shaking him to wake him up. Icy mist forms from her as she tried to still her breathing. He was dead. No matter how painful it is, she tore away from his hold on her wrist, his hand hard and frozen. The action caused him to sink deeper in the ocean. She watched as the man he loves sink deeper and deeper, until she couldn't see him anymore. He's gone, along with his memories, with his talented hands, with his genuine personality, with his tender affections, with his caring love. He's gone.

And she has to move on. With all her might, she blew hard on the whistle. It's time to move on.

It wouldn't be easy to move on, especially after a traumatic incident. She didn't experience something like a sinking ship but she felt the heavy blow. Tearing apart from your memories and starting a new one is like pure torture, especially if it's a memory that you've been holding on for so long.

The protagonist was a woman with a strong will, with a strong heart. She fought for what she wants and for what she thought was right. And indeed, she is. Money is nothing compared to love. It may give you shelter but not warmth. Only love can give you that. Love from family, from your lover, from friends. That's what the movie wishes to tell the viewers.

But no. She's not convinced. Because she knows, Ella Chen knows, that love's rival isn't money alone.

Sometimes, love's rival, is love itself.

-ooOoo-

The lights were and the room was lighted again after the movie flashed its credits. There's no mistaking it. With her as an exception, the movie touched everyone's heart. From where she is, she could see his reddish eyes. Despite what he did to her months ago, he's still capable of feeling sympathy. But from her point of view, it doesn't suit him. How can he shed tears about the movie when he didn't even give a damn when the confrontation happened months ago? She was perplexed, thinking just how a single movie could have such a big affect on him while she have none. She cursed him for that.

"I can see that the movie caught your heart," their professor spoke up with a small smile, her arms behind her back. She's a novelist and Ella Chen is one of her fans. The fan loves to paint and write poems as a way to express herself. And the professor would always appreciate her works. She'll always feel bliss. It's nice to feel that you're appreciated. It's exactly what she wanted.

To be appreciated.

The crowd of students, as guilty as they are of the kind accusation, smiled tearfully, feeling the reverberations of the movie's scenes dance at the back of their mind. It's Ella Chen. She's the only one who didn't show any emotions at all.

"I'm glad it's heart-felt," the professor strolled through the columns of seats until she reached the whiteboard.

She scribbled a few lines.

-ooOoo-

You find the perfect love but in a wrong time.

You find the perfect one but he/she’s not in love with you.

You find the perfect one but you must be loyal to someone else.

You got the perfect looks but no one takes you seriously.

You found the perfect personality but you’re bound to be just friends.

You got brains but you got a frail heart.

You find the courage but it’s just too late.

You’re ready to love but you don’t know where to start.

-ooOoo-

Once she's done writing, the professor faced her students once again and smiled, "This is an individual project to be submitted the day before Christmas. I want you to right your own viewpoint about the lines written on the board."

-ooOoo-

"It was such a touching story. How I wish it didn't end in a tragedy,"

"It was true-to-life right? The story of Jack and Rose?"

"It's fiction,"

"The movie was intimidating. I don't want to ride in a ship anymore!"

"Are my eyes still red and puffy? I cried so much!"

"And the theme song was just brilliant!"

-ooOoo-

Ella Chen could hear the students from around her express their lament over the movie's upturn. It's already dark outside, as their class ends at six in the afternoon. She felt the damp chill of the wind as it encountered her skin. Winter's about to come.

She gathered her belongings and prepared to walk out of the room quietly, not bothering to add to the noise emanating from the other students. Why do they have to tell the story when everyone in the room witnessed the whole movie? They would always talk about it like the other party doesn't know anything at all.

Again, humans and their ironies.

Just as she was heading out, she caught sight of a pair of eyes looking at her. Caught off guard, the owner quickly averted her eyes. Her eyes, they reflect guilt and loneliness. But Ella Chen isn't ready to talk to her. She doesn't know how to react, better yet; she doesn't know what to say. She doesn't trust herself to speak first and she doesn't want to wear a facade.

Not anymore.

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*P O S T N O T E S:

I'm finished with the first chapter. It's not much but this is just the way everything started. Wait. Let me rephrase that. It's just the way I want to start my story-telling. Thank you to those who welcomed this fanfic.

[rossEureka]
112310|7:08,
-Philippines-