It started during the recording of their ‘Fly High’ music video when Jiu noticed it. Her feelings for her shorter same age friend had blossomed into something she had not expected. She never meant to fall in love with Sua. It was an accident, but she should have seen it coming. The way her heart fluttered whenever Sua was around. Or perhaps whenever Sua would share her concerns with her. She knew she should probably tell the shorter, but she didn’t want to ruin their friendship. She was fine to see it all through the sidelines and stay best friends. The problem was her feelings kept growing. She promised herself she would stay the bubbly leader her group mates loved, even if it meant putting on a mask.

Now it was the promotion of their new title song, ‘You and I’. Jiu couldn’t help but feel the song at an emotional level. She didn’t let it show though, she couldn’t. It wasn’t until in the middle of filming when she felt nauseous. Jiu ran to the restroom and coughed up petals. She froze on spot. The disease had come faster than she expected. Sighing, she decided to ignore it for now. She’d rather relish in these feelings for Sua.

“Unnie, are you okay?” a voice asked from outside of the door.

Jiu smiled as she saw Handong outside looking worried about here. “Don’t worry, just nervous.”

Jiu smiled her signature smile at the younger, but her smile didn’t reach her eyes. Handong seemed to ignore it for the moment but there was something off about the leader.

The rest of the filming went on without problem except Jiu being lost in her thoughts. They were back at the dorm before Jiu knew it. Her thoughts had taken her over, yet no one seemed to notice how off she was. Did she put on a mask that well? Her eyes lingered on Sua as she played with Siyeon in a way that Jiu envied. Sighing she decided she needed to go out for a little while. She needed to get away from these feelings deep within her. The pressure of being a leader and the feelings for Sua had taken a toll on her.

“I’ll be going out for a little while, don’t wait up for me,” Jiu said with her signature bubbliness and smile.

She grabbed her purse and a coat and left. She sighed as she took a deep breath of the night air. It was refreshing to be out with the stars and the moon. The slight breeze felt like it embraced her. Jiu loved the nighttime where everything was so serene. It was like her troubles were washed away.

It wasn’t long till she was at a bar. She wasn’t sure of how many drinks she had, but she felt good being numb for a moment. Her senses were dulling, and her chest felt at ease for a moment. There were a few bottles of soju in front of her and she had ordered another.

“Minji is that you?”

She turned around to the voice and saw Woori standing there. She smiled drunkenly as she saw the older woman.

“Hey, unnie,” she slurred as she got up to hug her.

“What are you doing here by yourself?” The older girl asked as she returned the hug, confused on why the woman was drinking so heavily.

“Just having a few drinks,” Is all Jiu said as she sat down again to down another shot. “Want to join me?” Her eyes looked so sullen that Woori felt like she had no choice but to sit with the drunken woman.

They talked and down a few more bottles. Jiu was far drunk. She was giggly and could not walk straight for anything. Woori sighed,” What has gotten you this way?”

Jiu didn’t say anything as they walked towards the taxi, Woori noticed the shift in her mood. There must be something bothering her. Much to her amazement, Jiu fell asleep in the taxi. Woori sighed and brushed her hair back.

They arrived at Jiu’s dorm and the younger would not get up. Woori dragged the girl to her dorm by wrapping her arm around Ju’s waist. Almost immediately after ringing the doorbell, Handong answered. Handong was shocked to see her unnie this way.

“She drank herself to sleep, this idiot.”

Handong ushered Woori inside when Jiu started coughing. Both thought she was going to vomit but instead, a few petals came out of . The two were shocked and Woori knew immediately what was happening.

“Handong keep this between us for now. I’ll talk to her.”

Handong could only nod as they laid Jiu down in her bed. Who was it that unnie loves?

The next day Jiu woke up with a pounding headache. She got up slowly to see that there was a few pills and water by her bedside with a note. Drink this idiot. – Woori. Jiu sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, taking the pills. She got up slowly and headed to the bathroom to shower. She needed to get herself prepared to present herself in front of her group mates. She felt the sudden urge again and petals came out. She sighed, I better get used to this.

Jiu took a deep breath and put on her mask. The living room and kitchen were full of life. The members all looked at her and greeted her. She smiled at that. Her eyes lingered on Sua who was in the midst of cooking. That feeling came in her chest again as she felt her love for the shorter. Her thoughts were disrupted when Handong pulled her aside.

“Are you okay, unnie? I saw you last night.” Handong whispered softly to Jiu.

Jiu froze for a moment and giggled softly, “I’m fine, just a little hungover.” She softly said as she the younger’s hair. What kind of unnie or leader was she to make them worry?

“Unnie, I saw the petals,” Handong whispered so softly to Jiu that she almost didn’t hear it correctly.

Jiu let out a small sigh and her mask dropped for a second, “Don’t worry about it. Unnie will fix it.”

Handong looked at her wearily. She didn’t believe Jiu for a second but what could she do? She didn’t even know who it was that Jiu loved.

“What are you two whispering about?”

The two were shocked to see Sua and Siyeon standing arm in arm beside them.

“Handong just misses her family in China. I was consoling her.” Jiu said with a bright smile. Handong saw that smile. It was directed at Sua. Jiu’s smile didn’t meet her eyes. And that’s when it dawned on Handong. Jiu loved Sua. How could she have not noticed it before?

Sua seemed to notice Jiu’s behavior but shrugged it off as being tired because of the upcoming promotion. She detached herself from Siyeon and came to embrace Jiu. Time stopped for Jiu. She smiled relishing the warmth the younger girl gave her. She had decided this would not last for long. Either the disease would get the best of her or she would have to undertake the surgery.

It was only her and Sua, out on a friendly date. The shorter of the two had initiated it since the two haven’t been able to go out for a while. They had ended their date at a restaurant that they both loved. Many memories crossed through Jiu’s mind as she looked at Sua.

“I think I like someone, Jiu,” Sua said with a blush on her face.

Jiu froze at this, not wanting to hear any more. “Who is it? Someone I know?”

Sua flushed, “Siyeon.”

Jiu felt her heartbreak at that moment. Her mask slipped a bit as she gasped in shock. She quickly regained herself, “She probably likes you too. You’d be cute together.”

Sua immediately grinned so bright that Jiu felt her heart swell even though it was broken. She wished she could be on the receiving end of that smile. She would love Sua till the end of time. Even if it was only her doing the loving. Jiu wouldn’t let this get in the way of their friendship. She would love Sua until the end of time for better or for worse.

Months later Jiu’s condition seemed to worsen as Sua and Siyeon’s relationship blossomed. Everyone noticed. She was lethargic, her smile didn’t reach her eyes anymore when speaking. Her eyes were dull and lacking life. And she often locked herself away to sleep. She would be the first one to sleep and the last one to get up, often skipping meals. Handong did the best she could to comfort the older girl but not much could help. The sight of Sua and Siyeon together was one she could not handle. At first, she bared it but as time went on, she couldn’t deal with her feelings anymore. Sometimes Sua or Siyeon would come to her and ask for advice. Being the leader, she was, Jiu would always smile and help them.

After a fan sign, Jiu locked herself away to go sleep. She didn’t even eat that day or look at the food they had gotten. That was the last straw. That’s when the members started to question each other.

“Does anyone know what’s wrong with Jiu? She barely talks to anymore.” Sua said with a frown on her face. The raven was always close to her. It was odd that Jiu would ignore her or push her away.

“She barely eats with us. I’ve never seen her like this before.” Siyeon pouted, she missed her playful friend.

Handong sat frozen in her spot. She didn’t know what to do or if she should say something.

The maknaes seemed to notice Handong’s face and gestures, they turned their attention to her.

“Do you know Handong-unnie? You’re the only one she talks to these days.” Gahyeon asked with a frozen on her face. The youngest was clearly worried,

Handong knew she was betraying her unnie but she had no choice. Jiu was like a zombie these days. She knew she couldn’t keep it forever.

Handong sighed and all attention was on her as she ran her fingers through her hair. “She has hanahiki disease. She’s been coughing up petals.”

The room went silent as everyone digested this information. How could they have missed their leader struggling like this? It was almost praiseworthy that she actually completed the stages and fan signs without fainting. But then it all made sense to them. The way Jiu would barely eat or how the light never met her eyes anymore.

“Do you know who it is?” Yoohyeon asked with concern on her face.

Handong hesitated, “I don’t think I should be the one to tell you.”

The members felt deeply saddened by this news. Their leader was suffering, yet she always tried to help and console them. The air was thick in the room. No one knew what to say.

“How long has it been since she contracted the disease?” Sua asked, worry evident in her face.

“I found out about 6 months ago. When she came home after drinking.” Handong said with a sigh. Jiu was going to kill her.

The next morning Jiu got up with a stiff body. She went to the bathroom when that familiar feeling came and out came more petals. Jiu knew that her time was limited now. She thought of all the times Sua hugged her, laughed with her. All these memories came crossing her mind. She was happy with Sua even though she was never hers. Jiu knew the time had come to consider the surgery a bit more. The disease had started to take a toll on her.

She walked into the living room to see all eyes on her. Handong had her head down when their eyes met. Jiu knew what had happened. She couldn’t blame Handong for her weakness and sickness.

“We know about your sickness, unnie,” Siyeon said with a frown.

Jiu sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, “It’s no big deal. I’ll be fine.”

Those words seemed to make everyone freeze. Jiu was still trying to keep the burden from them. She was trying to handle this alone.

Sua was the first one to come up to her. Not a word was said as she looked at Sua. That’s when the shorter girl pulled her into a hug. Jiu’s hand went up to her hair, smiling softly.

“What’s wrong, Sua?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t see you were suffering, Minji-ah.”

Jiu felt herself shiver as she heard Sua call her by her real name. She pulled away and smiled brightly, trying to break the tension in the room.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry.” Jiu rubbed small circles on the small woman’s back.

That feeling came and Jiu immediately ran away. Unfortunately for her, the members came running in after her. In her hand was a pile of petals all was white with spots of blood on them. Gahyeon and Yoohyeon gasped in horror while Jiu just smiled at them. What else could she do? Sua felt her heart wrench at the sight. This wasn’t the Jiu she trained and debuted with. This woman was completely different. She didn’t understand why it made her heartbreak at the sight.

Later that day Jiu went to the company to tell them about her condition and desire to get the surgery. The company firmly agreed with her decision and she smiled sadly at the thought of losing these feelings for Sua but knew it was for the best.

The members were all in the living room when she got back, “I’m getting the surgery.”

Handong dropped her glass upon hearing those words. She immediately rushed over to Jiu and pulled her into her room.

“What do you mean? You’re going to lose all your feelings for Sua?” She half yelled at Jiu who just stood dazed in her spot.

Jiu was seeing red. Did Handong really think she didn’t know that? That she actually wanted to do this?

“Do you really think I want to do this? How do you think this makes me feel? I’m giving up a piece of myself for Christ sake! I might lose every ounce of affection I have for Sua because of this! Will I treat her the same? Will I break her heart?” Jiu was frustrated.

All this pent-up anger and emotion had finally come out. Jiu immediately regretted her outburst when she saw how shocked Handong was. Jiu immediately backed away and started pacing the room, running her fingers through her hair.

“It’s me that caused this?”

Handong and Jiu were frozen in spot as they looked over to see Sua standing there. The shorter woman was shaking, clearly shocked by this.

Jiu sighed, unable to hide the truth any longer. “Yes, you’re my unrequited love. Do not fret, the surgery will make everything go back to normal again.”

Jiu smiled, this time her smile reached her eyes. She couldn’t have Sua thinking this was her fault. She immediately walked over to the shorter and embraced her in a hug. She felt Sua shaking in her embrace, shocked by the burden that she has now become aware of.

Jiu simply her hair, “Let it all out. It’s okay.” She cooed at the shaken woman.

Handong went to go get Siyeon who took the crying woman into her embrace. Jiu simply smiled at them as they walked off. As long as Sua was happy, she would be too.

The following day, Sua would not look at her straight. It seemed that guilt had done her in. Jiu sighed and pushed her fingers through her hair. She felt some sort of relief that Sua knew of her feelings and the cause, yet her heart was still broken.

It wasn’t until one of their stages that tragedy struck. Jiu was dancing to the choreography when suddenly she went weak. Before she could register anything, she suddenly passed out. Her body felt

She awoke in a white room to beeping sounds. Her head was pounding, and the room was hazy. She slowly came to; her members were surrounding her. All of them looked exhausted. Jiu felt a pang of guilt as she realized at that moment she couldn’t let this persist. She couldn’t let her feelings for Sua get in the way of the group.

Yoohyeon immediately clung to her once she saw Jiu looking at them. “We were so worried, unnie.”

Jiu noticed the tears coming into her member’s eyes. She had failed as a leader and the oldest; she wasn’t someone they could rely on at this moment. She pulled back her thoughts and guilts and let out a breathtaking smile.

“I’m fine, don’t worry. Go home and rest. When you get back tomorrow, I will be even better.”

Jiu tried to be as reassuring as possible as she spoke. The members nodded slowly and hesitantly left. They knew they needed to rest and so did their leader. Handong was the last to leave.

“Are you really okay, unnie?” She asked worriedly, not believing the words the eldest said.

Jiu smiled softly, “I will be back with you all shortly. Don’t worry.”

Handong nodded slowly and left as the doctor entered.

“I want to do the surgery,” Jiu said with firm resolution.

The doctor nodded, “I was about to tell you if you didn’t agree to the surgery, you would only have a week at most left. Now that you have agreed we will commence it immediately.”

Jiu nodded and sighed as she sat up. She saw some paper at her bedside and decided to write. This was the last piece of Sua that she would leave. She wrote her heart out on that paper as she recalled all the times she spent with Sua. All the love and emotion she felt for the slightly younger woman was on that paper. She knew for the group and her own well-being she needed to let it all go. As long as Sua was happy, she would be happy. Even if it meant forgetting all these feelings she had for Sua. This unrequited love would for once be gone and Jiu would be able to breathe again.

“I love you, Sua. This will be the last time I say it or feel it.” Jiu said with a shaky breath as she closed her eyes. The doctor would be here any moment to prep her for the surgery. She would live these last few moments relishing in her love for Sua one last time.

The door of her room opened, “We will begin to prep you now.”

Jiu smiled and nodded as she was rolled out of the room. She felt a tear fall slowly done her face, this would be the end of her unrequited love.