Kim Myungsoo woke up when the morning sunlight stealthy coming to his room through the half-closed blind. He was never a morning person but sometimes the cold bed felt uncomfortable and forced him to wake up early.

He sat up, still drowsy and disoriented. He stretched his body slowly while looking at his surroundings. He exhaled some heavy breathing.

It’s been a quite common thing that not even surprise or fascinate him anymore when he woke up in a foreign room like this morning. He’s too used to stay in a hotel than his own apartment after all.

He walked to the dry kitchen inside the room, grabbing the mugs and spoon. He stood near the coffee maker, skillfully measured the coffee and the water in the right ratio, following Sungyeol’s golden recipe. He pressed the power button of his coffee maker, letting it brewing the coffee automatically.

Myungsoo drew the curtain, letting him see the beautiful scenery outside while waiting coffee drips filled the pot. The nice smell started to fill the whole room when Myungsoo poured the liquid into the mugs.

He set the mugs on the table then sitting down on the chair, taking his own mug with two hands, absentmindedly staring at the steam.

Myungsoo took a long sigh.

Myungsoo always made two mugs of coffee. The habit he picked up when he’s living with Sungyeol back then. Even after they're rarely spending their morning together, Myungsoo still making one for the tall man.

Sometimes when Myungsoo was waking up alone inside his hotel room, mostly in Japan, he would sit in the table near the windows or lean against the windows, sipping his hot coffee. And it’s always reminding him of Sungyeol.

Often times, the nice smell from the coffee made him missing Sungyeol even more. Missing how the older Lee would grin from ear to ear when Myungsoo offered the fresh brew coffee to him. Missing how the deer-like eyes of Sungyeol would lit up happily when sipping the black liquid.

Only in those time was he allowed to stare at the slightly older man without afraid of getting a scold.

Myungsoo liked to think about the certain Lee Sungyeol in middle of his coffee time, imagining the soft laugh from the elder, imagining the latter sighing contently after inhaled the aroma, imagining the quiet praise coming from the cute mouth along with a soft thank you.

And Myungsoo would always miss Lee Sungyeol whenever he has his morning coffee.

***

It was a warm morning. The weather was good and the sun shined brightly. The skies of Japan were so blue when Myungsoo stepped outside his hotel room to go to his following schedules near the lake.

Myungsoo buried his hands in the pocket cardigan, walking slowly beside his manager while humming the soft melody of his solo song. They strolled along the paved road, breathing the fresh air. It’s so nice to be able walking without being flocked by Myungsoo’s fans.

Myungsoo and his manager stood at the edge of the bridge; the wind was messing up their hair, blowing softly caressing their exposed skins. They were enjoying the scenery, staring at the movement of water beneath them.

“Woah… it’s already summer I think”

Myungsoo turned his head to his manager who just said the word and fanning himself with a hand. It’s indeed quite hot. Myungsoo then lifted his head to see blue skies and uncountable fluffy clouds above him. He smiled widely.

For Myungsoo, Summer is something that connected to Lee Sungyeol.

Summer is synonymous with Lee Sungyeol.

Summer is one of Sungyeol’s favorite seasons to spend his time outside, finding a way to enjoy the day outdoors.  

The azure sky constantly reminded Myungsoo of the day when Sungyeol would happily do his hobby, riding the water jetski. He never forgets how excited Sungyeol was when playing with the water.

He’d remember how the water droplets slid down Sungyeol’s slightly tanned skin and toned body totally drove Myungsoo crazy.

And the bright sun above him would always remind Myungsoo of Sungyeol’s bright personality.

***

Click Click Click…

A furious clicking sound coming from Myungsoo who busy took pictures of the attractive object before him. A big camera hung on his neck, a device which became his favorite thing to capture every moment.

Years ago, he revealed to the public about his passion for photography, documenting what’s interesting in his life via photos. Photography let him see things that he might never notice before and it’s lead him to appreciate his surroundings even more.

Being a man behind the camera made him see the world from the different side. He started to take pictures of many objects, from beautiful scenery, animals, things, and people.

One of his favorite objects was Sungyeol.

The older guy always succeeds to captivate him, trapping him inside those big doe eyes, not letting him go. Sungyeol had something that tickling Myungsoo’s sense.

He loved to look at Sungyeol through his lens, seeing how gorgeous Sungyeol was, how his smile could make Myungsoo pressed the shutter button millions of times just to capture Sungyeol’s beauty.

Myungsoo enjoyed taking Sungyeol’s picture secretly when the latter not even aware about the camera. It always brings the honest result which is really beautiful.

There’s a photo where Sungyeol laughed adorably with Sunggyu.

There’s a photo where Sungyeol smiled fondly to him.

There’s a photo where Sungyeol wrapped himself with a blanket, looks troubled and cold but still beautiful.

There’s a photo where Sungyeol’s gaze directed to the windows when they sit across each other in a coffee shop. And it’s effortlessly breathtaking.

Myungsoo had a ton or maybe more photos of Sungyeol in his hard drive.

And every day, Myungsoo would stare at the photos to admire Sungyeol in awe.

***

Myungsoo could hear the loud voices invading his eardrums. The loud screams from his fans who support him. The chants that spell his name filled the entire venue where he held his fan meeting.

He had to smile dearly, giving his best to return all the support he received from his dedicated fans. Being part of famous boy group had gotten him a chance to have many fans and feel loved. He also had chances to stand alone in front of the fans for his solo fan meeting. But still, it feels awkward without the other members.

Myungsoo’s fingers running through his raven hair.

There are some moments when he’s surrounded by his fans voices but he felt empty and lonely. Sometimes, when he closed his eyes to call on his courage to face the ordeal, all he could see was himself, standing alone and miserable. Sometimes, when he opened his eyes to see his surrounding, all he could see was a blurred picture.

Myungsoo felt something missing when he failed to see Sungyeol near him and it keeps him restless, he’s too fond of Sungyeol’s warmth and presence. He’s getting used to touch Sungyeol, invading the elder’s personal space.

He’d remember the time when he’s too embarrassed to talk on TV shows and always seek Sungyeol for a shelter. And now, it’s time for him to stand alone in front of his fans.

Myungsoo rummaged his bag pocket, fishing out his phone. He pressed the lock code and looking at his display picture.

“Myungsoo! Standby! Five minutes!”

Myungsoo chewed his inner lip, took a deep breath to calm himself while typing some words and hoping Sungyeol would give him encourage text before he started his fan meeting.

Sometimes, he hoped to see Sungyeol’s figure in a sea of people, popping out from the crowd to entertain him. It would be a lie if he didn’t look forward to some special appearance of Lee Sungyeol in his solo fan meeting. He actually really anticipated it every single day.

“Myungsoo! Three minutes!”

“Wish me luck, Sungyeolie”

Myungsoo put down his phone and ran towards his manager, get ready to face the crowd before him.

From: Sungyeollie

To: Myungsoo

Good luck! Do your best. Let’s meet up later in Seoul

***

“Rest well! You’ve worked hard!”

The manager patted Myungsoo’s back when he back to his hotel room. Tiredly, Myungsoo dragged his feet inside, entering the cold room.

Myungsoo stopped his track for a while, surveying the room before threw himself on the mattress. It’s soft and comfortable but cold. Myungsoo shifted, curling up in the fetus position.

Even now, whenever Myungsoo is reminded of the day he met Sungyeol, he would always remember the slightly awkward but tough facial expression of the elder, the confidence mask that makes Myungsoo wanted to tear it apart.

He recalled how he wanted to punch Sungyeol’s face straight till it bloated and ugly. He recalled how he hated the slightly nasal voice of Sungyeol that going higher when he’s excited and its irked Myungsoo so much. He recalled the bad feeling whenever he encountered the loud and cocky Sungyeol.

Later he realized, he fell in love with Sungyeol at the first sight. He knew it’s must be weird because it’s nothing like everyone thought love at first sight was supposed to be.

But then, when he saw the certain gummy smile of Lee Sungyeol, he knew he already fell deeply. He was pathetically in love.

There are some days when he wanted to monopolize Sungyeol alone for himself. He wanted to hold Sungyeol closer, wanted to run his fingers on Sungyeol’s soft lock, wanted to bury his nose on the crook of the elder’s neck, wanted to wrap his arms around that slim waist, wanted to feel those plump lips against his.

“I miss you” mumbled Myungsoo softly before he fell asleep.

Even now, whenever Myungsoo laid on the bed alone,  he remembered Sungyeol.

He missed Lee Sungyeol.

*

*

*

*

*

“Welcome home,” Sungyeol said shortly, the same way he’s been saying the certain word to Myungsoo for the past eight years. He looks so good and fresh with his new short haircut while wearing short pants and oversized pastel pink t-shirt.

Myungsoo froze in spot. He never imagined seeing Sungyeol the very first time he lifelessly unlocked his apartment’s door.

“Wha--?”

Sungyeol smiled dearly while his back of his head, kinda embarrassed. There's a hint of pink blush on his cheeks.

“Well, hyung said you came back today, so I wanted to welcome you and--”

Myungsoo dashed inside before Sungyeol finished his sentence, leaving his suitcase being abandoned in the hallway as he tackled Sungyeol into a big hug. He pulled the elder’s neck to press his lips against the soft pink meaty lips before him.

“Myung--”

He kissed Sungyeol roughly as he desperately needed to feel Sungyeol’s warmth. He missed Sungyeol, so much . It’s too many moments he’s going through without Sungyeol beside him and now he wanted nothing except to taste his lover, kissing him to his heart’s content.

“Myung-- soo-- slow down!” Sungyeol pushed Myungsoo away from him, slightly breathless. He’s a little caught off guard when Myungsoo jumped onto him.

Myungsoo looked at Sungyeol who looks effortlessly stunning. He examined his lover from head to toe, looking at him with eyes full of love before fixed his gaze to Sungyeol's glassy deer-like eyes.

They didn’t break the eye contact for a good minute until Sungyeol circled his hand around Myungsoo’s waist.

Myungsoo’s pretty sure his face heated when Sungyeol rested his forehead on his collarbone. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest, almost knocking his ribs.

They stayed in a comforting silence once again.

“Welcome back, Myungsoo-ah”

A wide smile spread in Myungsoo’s face, showing his cute dimple to the world when Sungyeol whispered the sentence and said his name tenderly.

Myungsoo reached out his hand, cupping Sungyeol’s cheeks before capturing the elder’s lips once again, kissing him deeply. This one wasn't rough. It's soft, slow, passionate and intimate. It's Myungsoo's way to express his real feeling to Sungyeol without clouded by lust. it's Myungsoo way to say--

“I miss you, Yeollie”

***