Summer was a time that most girls looked forward to. They could show off long legs in short skirts, and show off their small waists in bikinis. I didn’t feel the same way. I would burn in the sun, but I hated the feeling of sunscreen. I couldn’t fall asleep at night without waking up covered in sweat, no matter how many fans I had blowing at me on their highest setting. No matter how many ice cubes I put in my water, or how cold I made my food before eating it, I always felt warm and sticky. I couldn’t have been happier when I heard that I’d be revealed in winter, and that I’d be promoting in cold weather. I wouldn’t have to worry about sweat stains on fancy clothes, or passing out due to heat .

That came crashing down when I heard we’d debut as a group in the middle of summer. My worries were back in full force. I’d get sweat stains on fancy clothes, and I’d pass out because I’d get heat . I’d probably sweat off all my makeup, and my hair would get greasy. The thought of debuting in summer made me feel faint.

I was in the middle of watching various summer “life hack” videos to help me beat the heat in any way possible when the effortlessly gorgeous and stunning Ha Sooyoung entered our room. The temperature of the room immediately heated up. This was the problem with sharing a room with your crush in summer. If summer heat didn’t make you break a sweat, the sight of your crush definitely would. I couldn’t help but watch as she changed into her pajamas; tiny and tight shorts, and a loose tank top. I felt my face heat up. Summer .

“You’re staring, Jiwoo.” She hummed, barely looking at me as she hopped onto her bed.

“Sorry.” I blushed and focused my attention on my laptop screen. I heard her laugh, and saw her move toward me out of the corner of my eye.

“Don’t be sorry.” She chuckled and sat next to me on my bed. “What’re you up to? You’ve been becoming nocturnal lately.”

“Just trying to figure out how to survive a summer debut.” I clicked off of the video I was watching, but that didn’t help at all. When I left the video, a small army of Yves fancams were recommended for me to watch again. I slammed the laptop shut and kicked it to the other side of the bed. Smooth.

“Oh, I almost forgot your problem with hot weather.” She giggled and patted my thigh. Sooyoung’s touchiness would be the death of me. “Should I go get you another cup of ice cubes? This one looks like it’s melted.” She picked up the cup that had a spoon in it, and it dripped on my leg. I yelped in shock, making Sooyoung jump, and…spill the melted ice cubes, also known as water, on me. “Sorry!” She yelped, hugging me tight. She put the cup up, and ran off. I sighed, pulling at my soaked shirt. At least it was cold water…but it would get warm soon, and I’d feel gross again. She returned in seconds, with clean bedsheets and a towel. “C’mere.” I obeyed, and stood in front of her, letting her wrap the towel around me. Although I didn’t like the heat, the warmth was from Sooyoung. I could deal with it. “You go change. I’ll change your bed.”

“No, there’s no reason for you to-“

“Kim Jiwoo. I spilled ice-cold water on you and your bed. In a half-hour or so, it won’t feel any different from laying in a puddle of sweat. Please. Let me do this.” She rubbed the towel gently up and down my arms, and wiped some wet strands of hair away from my face.

“You’re the best.” I let the towel fall to the ground and hugged Sooyoung tight. “This hug is your punishment for spilling water on me.” She wrapped her arms around my waist and held me close for a while. It was nice, staying like that.

“Go dry off before your mattress gets soaked.” She patted my back and let go. She started taking the wet bedsheets off of my bed, so I grabbed clean pajamas and went to the bathroom to dry off and change. She was so kind to me, and she was so beautiful. She couldn’t keep her hands off of me, but to be fair, she was touchy with all of our members. I was hailed as Lesbian Jesus by the fans, but…if I was Lesbian Jesus, then Sooyoung must be the Lesbian Goddess. I finished changing while daydreaming about how charming Sooyoung was. I couldn’t help it. She was perfect. I went back into our room, and saw our other two roommates, Chaewon and Hyejoo, chatting with Sooyoung. When I entered, they shut their mouths, as if they said something they shouldn’t have. “I got you another cup of ice.” She handed me a cute pink cup full of ice cubes.

“Thanks, Sooyoungie!” I hugged her with one arm, since the other was holding the cup of ice cubes gifted to me from the Goddess. I felt her chuckle rumble in against my skin. I wished I could just stay attached to her forever, so I would never miss a thing.

“Not a problem, cutie.” She hummed.

“You two are so gay.” Hyejoo laughed. “Did filming ‘Heart Attack’ make you two actually fall in love?”

“No!” I threw a pillow at her. It wasn’t a lie; I had a crush on Sooyoung long before we filmed that music video. I asked her to film it with me because of my massive crush on her. I wanted an excuse to get closer to her, and I don’t regret a thing.

“Hey, we all know you’re both gay, so would it be so weird if you were gay for each other?” Chaewon shrugged. “Just sayin’.” I groaned, and let go of Sooyoung to sit on my bed and eat ice cubes.

“Would it be so bad if you two dated?” Hyejoo laid down on her bed, relaxing.

“Yes!” I squeaked, feeling my face heat up from embarrassment. “What would Haseul say? We’re supposed to be sisters, not lovers!”

“But…we’re not sisters.” Sooyoung winked at me, then laid down on her bed. Chaewon got out her 3DS and started playing Mario Kart, and Hyejoo got out her phone and started texting people. Probably the other members. She’d send us weird pictures and links to weird videos when she got bored, and she loved seeing our reactions. Sooyoung got out her phone as well, and rolled over, facing away from me. I picked my laptop up, and went back to looking for ways to beat the summer- nah, I’m watching that fancam of Sooyoung again.

I was still awake when I heard Chaewon’s soft snores, and when Hyejoo and Sooyoung’s phones were off. It was me and my laptop again tonight, since it was still too warm for me to fall asleep comfortably. I got out of bed to go grab some cold strawberries from the refrigerator. Haseul was the only one in the living room; she was talking with the managers about scheduling doctor’s appointments. She insisted on it happening sooner rather than later, but it sounded like the managers were content with a check-up only a week before debut. She hung up with a sigh.

“Hey, Jiwoo.” She smiled tiredly. She was such a mom to all of us. “Why are you still up?”

“I can’t fall asleep if I’m too warm.” I shrugged, and got a small bowl of strawberries. I sat next to Haseul on the couch, and offered one to her.

“That . I bet having Sooyoung in your room doesn’t help.” She laughed. I froze.

“What do you mean?” I asked with wide eyes.

“Oh, Jiwoo, honey, you’re obvious.” She rubbed my back comfortingly. “It’s obvious to me that you have a crush on her.”

“N-No, I don’t. We’re like sisters. Like everyone else.” I took a bite of a strawberry to try to calm myself down so I didn’t accidentally bite my own tongue.

“You’re acting like Jinsoul.” She scoffed, and took another strawberry. “You do realize that while the majority of us feel sisterly love towards one another, most of us also feel romantic love towards a special member.”

“Do you?!” I gasped.

“That’s going to stay a secret. For now.” She winked. “What isn’t a secret is how you feel about Sooyoung.”

“Fine…” I sighed, leaning back on the couch. “But I can’t do anything about it, no matter how much I want to, and it hurts.”

“Funny. I remember Sooyoung complaining to me about the exact same thing.” She put her arm around me. “She was talking about…oh, I don’t remember the girl’s name. It started with…Ji?”

“No way.” I grabbed her hands. “Sooyoung likes me?”

“Hmm, I don’t know…but she did complain about not being able to show you how she really feels without causing tension within the group. I told her she was being stupid because the girl obviously has strong feelings about her, too, but…she wouldn’t believe me. She said it was too good to be true.” She raised an eyebrow at me. “Oh, and Hyejoo would also like you two to get together, so Sooyoung will stop texting her about every little thing that happens.” I blushed. Sooyoung really felt that way about me? There was no way. I finished the strawberries, while talking with Haseul about the doctor’s appointments she was trying to schedule with the managers. You know, boring stuff, so I wouldn’t have to deal with the heart attack I was going through, realizing that Sooyoung likes me…romantically. We said good night and went to our rooms, turning off the lights in the living room, kitchen, and hallway so we wouldn’t waste electricity. I opened the door, and saw Sooyoung in front of my bed, but as soon as the door made a noise, she jumped into her bed and pretended to sleep. I couldn’t help but laugh quietly at her. I climbed into bed, and had sweet dreams. I had dreams where Sooyoung and I kissed, where we did “mature” things, where we snuggled and watched dumb TV shows together, and where we were panicking because we had to kill a giant bug.

Wait, what?

I opened my eyes, and saw Chaewon sitting on me while clutching her 3DS, shaking in terror. “Sooyoung!” She screamed. “Get it!” I saw a large spider scurry across the floor. Hyejoo had climbed onto the desk to avoid the spider. I watched Sooyoung take a cup and put it over the spider, and slip a piece of paper underneath it. She took the cup and paper to the window, which she opened and let the spider out. She was so sweet. A spider that big was terrifying, and it would have been much safer to kill it, but she saved its life. She could’ve gotten bitten, and it would’ve hurt, and she could’ve been allergic and had a near-death experience, but she saved it anyway. Someone might think I’m overreacting, but this is the Lesbian Goddess A.K.A. Sooyoung. There is no exaggeration here.

“It was harmless.” She laughed. “I mean, getting bitten would’ve hurt, but it wouldn’t have been the end of the world. A bite from him would feel like getting a vaccination. A pinch, but nothing else.” Chaewon was still sitting on me, shaking. Hyejoo had gotten off of the desk and was inspecting the room to see if there were any more spiders. We heard a knock on the door.

“Are you okay?” I heard Haseul’s muffled voice.

“Just a spider. It’s gone now, I let it outside.” Sooyoung whispered, opening the door. “Sorry about waking you up, but Chaewon and Hyejoo just can’t handle the sight of a spider.”

“It’s okay, I’m glad it’s nothing serious. Good night, girls.” She winked at me, probably because of our earlier conversation about Sooyoung, and left the room, closing the door quietly.

“Did you really have to scream?” I whined, hitting Chaewon’s back.

“How did you even know it was there? Weren’t you asleep?” Sooyoung groaned, pulling her off of me.

“I felt it crawl on me.” She whimpered, clinging to Sooyoung. I instantly felt jealous. I wanted Sooyoung’s hugs. I pouted, although I wasn’t sure if she could see it in the dark. Doing anything more would seem obvious. Thankfully, Sooyoung noticed my pout.

“You okay, Jiwoo?” She ran her fingers through my hair affectionately.

“Yeah, it’s just…that was a really big spider.” I faked being shaken from the sight of the spider.

“Sorry. I should’ve gotten it out before you had to see it. Do you think you’ll be able to fall back asleep easily enough?” She was looking at me with so much concern that I almost felt bed for pretending to be scared. Almost.

“I feel like I’m gonna have nightmares, now.” I sighed, and rolled over. “I’ll be fine.” I smiled to myself when I felt Sooyoung’s weight on top of me.

“I’ll protect you.” She whispered gently, giving me a tight hug. She got off of me, and gave my shoulder a careful squeeze, then went back to her bed. I didn’t have nightmares. Only dreams of Sooyoung in shining armor.

I woke up last out of everyone in our room, but although Sooyoung was awake, she was still sitting in her bed. I sat up and stretched; it felt good to stretch out muscles that hadn’t been used through the night. “You’re up.” She grinned.

“Yep, I’m up.” I returned her smile. “Shouldn’t you be eating breakfast?”

“I wanted to wait for you.” She shrugged, and took my hand to help me out of bed. We went to the kitchen together. Since we weren’t promoting, and we’d practice from noon until late at night, we didn’t have to be up early. We’d just wander into the kitchen as we woke up to get breakfast. I took an apple out of the refrigerator, and Sooyoung did the same. Jinsoul and Jungeun were feeding each other pieces of an orange. “Good morning, lesbians.” Sooyoung laughed as their faces turned red.

“Coming from the wife of Lesbian Jesus.” Jungeun scoffed, feeding Jinsoul another piece of the orange. I felt my face heat up, but I ignored it and sat with Sooyoung, Haseul, and Yeojin on the couch. There wasn’t much room with the three of them already on the couch, so I sat on Sooyoung’s lap. That earned me a wink from Haseul.

“Haseul said that there was a big spider in your room. How big was it?” Yeojin asked.

“Probably about…” Sooyoung put her arms around me to show Yeojin how big the spider was, and made a circle with her thumbs and index fingers. I felt my face heat up again, but I leaned back on her a bit. I wasn’t sure if she was intentionally flirting with me or not, but if she was, I wouldn’t lose this fight. “…this big?”

“Oh, that’s scary.” Yeojin huddled up close to Haseul. “Mom, how could you let a spider that big get in the dorm?”

“Don’t call me ‘mom’, it makes me feel old.” She flicked Yeojin’s forehead playfully. “And it probably wasn’t that big when it got in. I bet it ate all the bugs in your messy room.”

“It’s Chaewon’s fault that our room is messy.” I crossed my arms. “She brings food in to eat while playing video games, but she never throws out the trash when she’s done.”

“You should still throw it out for her. Then, lecture her. It worked with Yeojin.” Haseul ruffled the youngest girl’s hair as she pouted. Sooyoung rested her chin on my shoulder.

“Since you brought it up, maybe you should do it.” She hummed. I hit her arm.

“No way.” I tried to get up, but she tightened her grip on me.

“Don’t test me, Jiwoo.” She spoke in a low voice. I couldn’t help but shiver at her tone, but I quickly got my composure back.

“Well, I’m testing you.” I huffed. She let go of me, and I stood up, about to run, but she started tickling me. I collapsed to the ground as she tickled me; I was kicking the air and laughing so hard that my abs hurt. “Stop!” I squealed. “Please, stop!”

“Will you pick up after Chaewon?” She stopped tickling me for a second. I tried to catch my breath, but when I didn’t answer her question, she started tickling me again.

“Yes! I’ll pick up after Chaewon! I promise!” I squealed. She helped me stand up, and patted my shoulder.

“That’s so nice of you, thanks for offering.” She laughed. She sat on the couch again, and I took my seat on her lap. We ate our breakfast while watching cartoons with Yeojin and Haseul.

We left the dorm to practice at the company, and piled into two cars. I was pulled by Jungeun into the car with her, Jinsoul, Haseul, Yeojin, and Sooyoung. She shoved me into the back, next to Sooyoung, while she and Jinsoul took the middle seat. Haseul and Yeojin were in the front, behind the driver’s seat. “Sorry.” I whispered to Sooyoung, since Jungeun had basically pushed me onto her.

“No worries, you’re fine.” She smiled gently, and patted my thigh. I wouldn’t survive this car ride, would I? I decided to enjoy my torture, and leaned my head on Sooyoung’s shoulder. She slipped her arm around my waist and kept me close to her.

“So, did you two know that we’re dating?” Jinsoul asked us, turning around.

“What?” My jaw dropped. I could see the chemistry between them, anyone could, but I couldn’t believe they were actually dating. I was happy for them.

“Jinsoullie, hush.” Jungeun glared at her girlfriend. Jinsoul responded with a pout, and Jungeun’s glare disappeared into an affectionate smile. She propped her legs up on Jinsoul’s lap. “Yes, we’re dating, but the manager doesn’t need to know that. They’ll put us in separate rooms, and that wouldn’t be fun.” She winked. It felt like my face was on fire; I’m sure I had a clear blush on my cheeks. I buried my face in Sooyoung’s neck to try to hide my blush.

“What Jungeun means is that we’re together, and it’s not affecting the group negatively in any way. Just sayin’.” Jinsoul giggled. “So, dating isn’t going to do anything crazy to the group.”

“Okay…?” Sooyoung sounded calm, but I could feel her heart racing. I decided to a bit, and set my hand on her thigh. She tensed up at first, but I watched her look at her leg and see my hand there. She relaxed, and leaned back in her seat, keeping her arm tight around my waist. “Oh, but congrats on becoming a thing.” She gave them a thumbs-up. They shared a look of disappointment, and started whispering about something. I couldn’t hear them, and Sooyoung didn’t seem to care what they were saying. She just watched the cars go by outside the window.

Dance practice was an absolute nightmare for me, as usual. I love dancing, and I consider myself to be pretty good at it, but…seeing Sooyoung get sweaty, and seeing her do all these moves so sensually…it drives me crazy. Today’s practice was even more of a nightmare than usual, though. Sooyoung had gotten so hot (in temperature and appearance) that she took off her shirt and continued practicing in a sports bra. I had to run out and get a drink of water as soon as her shirt was off. There was no way I could handle that.

“Jiwoo!” Sooyoung called after me as I grabbed my water bottle and bolted out of the room. I went to the bathroom, and started gulping down my water. “Jiwoo.” She chuckled, seeing me chugging water. “You okay?” My eyes avoided her gaze, but by doing that, I was greeted with the view of her sports bra-clad chest and her gorgeous abs. I shook my head vigorously and turned away from her. She laughed, and took my hand to lead me back to the practice room. We were about to leave the bathroom, but she stopped and turned to face me. “Should I put my shirt back on so you can focus?” Her voice was low again. My eyes went wide, but I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t think of what to say. “You’re so cute.” She hummed, and led us to the practice room. When the door opened, the girls were all standing together, talking about something, but as soon as someone pointed at us, they scattered throughout the room. I was confused, to say the least, but I shrugged it off and we went back to practicing. When we took another water break, I went to talk to Haseul.

“Is Sooyoung flirting with me?” I whispered.

“Yes. Are you two dating yet? We’re kind of trying to get you two together here.” She whispered back.

“Wait, what? You- everyone?”

“Yes.” She laughed. “So, are you two together?”

“No…but…she’s flirting a lot more than usual…” I bit my lower lip nervously, and looked at Sooyoung. She was talking to Hyejoo, and turned to look at me for a second. She faced Hyejoo again as soon as we made eye contact, and her face got a little redder.

We piled into the same cars as we did on our way to the company, and began the drive back to our dorm. It was about eleven at night, and we had just gotten into the car. I yawned, tired from the work we did, and tired from Sooyoung driving me crazy with her perfection. “C’mere.” She whispered, and patted her lap. Against my better judgement, I laid down and used her lap as a pillow. It was summer, and I really wanted to cool off, and her legs were warm, but it was Sooyoung’s warmth. I could sacrifice a little comfort for Sooyoung. I nuzzled my face against her thigh, and she ran her fingers through my hair. We stayed like that for the whole ride home. Jungeun and Jinsoul kept turning around and trying to push us to confess to each other, but Sooyoung would just hush them by holding a finger to her lips. When we arrived at the dorm, Sooyoung helped me out of the car.

Once we had all showered and eaten dinner, we went to our rooms to sleep. We were all exhausted from practice, and it was well past midnight. My muscles ached, and being on a diet didn’t ease any of the discomfort. I laid on my bed, ready to try to fall asleep in the summer heat. Of course, it didn’t work. While Chaewon didn’t even pick up her 3DS and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, and Hyejoo didn’t even plug in her phone, I was still wide awake. Sooyoung hadn’t come into the room yet, and I thought about looking for her, but I decided against it. I didn’t want to bother her if she was doing something important. I put in my headphones and opened up my laptop to see fancams of Sooyoung just begging me to watch them. So I did.

“What are you up to, cutie?” Sooyoung laughed, pulling out one of my headphones. I squealed and shut the laptop, and kicked it away from me.

“Nothing!” I yelped, hoping she didn’t she that I was drooling over her.

“Listen…” She sighed, and sat on my bed next to me. “Haseul just got done talking to me about…us.”

“Oh…so…you know…?” I was nervous. Haseul could’ve been wrong about Sooyoung liking me romantically, and things might get really awkward from here on out. She nodded, and kissed my cheek. I jumped on her and hugged her as tightly as I could. I buried my face in her hair, and vibrated from happiness when she laughed and held me close to her.

“Yes, I know.” She wrapped her legs around mine. “Haseul told me that not confessing to you was only going to slow us down, but I still didn’t want to, so…she told me that there’s a cutie who I keep giving heart attacks to.” I pulled away from her a little bit to kiss her nose. When I pulled away, she cupped my face in her hands and kissed my lips gently. I felt butterflies swarm in my stomach, and my whole body was just shaking with happiness.

“And you…you like me? Romantically?” I asked when we broke the kiss for air.

“Yes I do.” She kissed my nose. We spent the rest of the time that we could stay awake kissing each other. I kissed her all over her face, and made it my mission to shower her with compliments and love, and she kept locking our lips together to shut me up. We fell asleep together, in my bed, and although it was summer, and really warm out, I couldn’t help but snuggle into Sooyoung. We’d both wake up a little sweaty in the morning, but if it was Sooyoung’s warmth, I’d snuggle up with her on the hottest days of the year.