*this story takes part back in Rough era*

SINB POV

I lost count already, of how many days it has been since i last had a comfortable conversation with my favourite unnie, Yerin. We used to talk and laugh together all the time, it was like a crime for us to let the dorm be quite for more than 5 minutes, but for some reason, which i know too damn well, it stopped. No more teasing, no more bickering, no more inappropriate touches from her, and no more fake reluctant faces from me. Now it was just avoiding each other’s gazes, and awkward silences. Why did it happen, you might ask?

Well, it’s simple.

We fell in love.

Yeah, it might not sound like such a bad thing to your ears… actually i bet you even got excited reading that. But believe me, it’s not. For us it’s different. As top idols in the K-POP industry, we aren’t allowed to fall in love with just anyone we want, especially if it’s another girl, especially in a conservative country like korea. Me and Yerin falling in love with each other, will ruin our reputation, and can resolve with a lot of hate, buddies turning against us, and maybe even disbandment of GFriend in the end, and we can’t risk that. We have to think about GFriend, and that’s why we can not be together.

And Yerin thinks i don’t know all of that. She thinks i am childish for insisting on figuring things out, together. But as you see, it really isn’t true. I think about GFriend ALL THE TIME. it’s just that the thought about losing her is more painful than the thought of losing GFriend.. If i’m being totally  honest.

I frowned as i remembered the event that made us act like this, and practically ignore each other while off camera.

FLASHBACK

We were alone at the practice room, everyone else already left. They said something about grabbing a snack on the way back to our van, but we weren’t interested.

The practice room was silent, as things were already a bit awkward between us, since it’s been only a few days since we accidentally confessed to each other. More like, she got drunk and confessed to me, and because of the excitement of realizing that my feelings for her were mutual, i kissed her, and by that also confessed. After that incident, she asked me to forget about what happened,said that it was nothing and we should move on and keep on being and acting like best friends, nothing more.

But stubborn me refused to do that. I knew what i wanted and i was going to fight for it.

So since then, i tried to pursue her. I did cute gestures, offered some smooth lines here and there, and basically courted her as the way i think she should be courted. But unfortunately, Yerin didn’t appreciate those actions, and just distanced herself more. I knew she was probably thinking about the consequences, but i just really wanted to show her she can have both things together, it doesn't have to be choosing between me and GFriend, we can make it work.

Easily said than done.

But i, Hwang Eunbi, wasn’t known to give up easily.

“Wanna go over the dance one last time?” i hesitantly asked her, trying to keep things calm and friendly, for now. I relaxed as she smiled at me.

“Sure”

I then nodded in response, and went to the music player and soon our latest title track song, ‘Rough’, played through the speakers.

She already started dancing, and i joined soon after. For the next three and a half minutes we just danced silently, but this time it was a comfortable silence. A silence of two great dancers perfectly synchronized through their dancing. it was an amazing feeling.  

As the song ended, the next song was played automatically. I smiled as i heard which song it was.

As our song ‘Trust’ kept on playing, i looked at Yerin. she was sweating, though still smiling. She looked at me with accomplishment in her eyes, as she always do after a good dance practice or performance. I smiled back at her. She was absolutely gorgeous right now, with her loose T-shirt and workout shorts, sweating and smiling towards me. Definitely one of my favourite looks, so i wasn’t at fault for naturally wanting to get closer to her, and so i did.

“That was a good practice” i said while walking towards her.

She nodded in agreement. “Yeah it was” she said, but then had to add, “i seriously love this dance” as she says every time we dance to ‘Rough’. I had to agree with her.’Rough’ is my favorite song so far, thus also its dance. May it be the amount of interactions between me and yerin throughout the dance, or just its beautiful choreography, but i really liked it.

“So.. what do u want to do now? Want to dance some more?” i offered

“No it’s fine.. Let’s just sit and listen to this song for a while” she said, and i happily obliged.

We then just lay on the practice room’s floor, listening to the song. While listening to the lyrics, i couldn’t help but think about me an Yerin.

Falling stars, approaching dreams

Show us of our future growing similar

Always in the midst of this heart

Is my unchanging love

My love for you is here to stay Yerin-ah. It won’t go away that easily just because u asked me to.

Just like this if I fall into your arms

And if I could stay

Your steadfast eyes and my heart

What more explanation do we need

The moment we believe two are one

I looked at Yerin, and i found her hurriedly turning her face away from me, pretending like she wasn’t just staring at me. This action gave me hope again, and with renewed determination, i slowly but surely moved my hand to be on top of hers. I felt her suddenly stiffening due to my attempt to hold her hand, blushing hardly. I knew her, and i knew she was listening to the lyrics the way i did too, so i did not remove my hand, and laced our fingers instead.

We stayed this way for a few seconds until she suddenly got up and was about to leave the room.

“Unnie wait!” i pleaded as i held her hand to keep her from running away.

“Why did you do that?”

“I’m sorry.. I know i shouldn’t have… but this song..the lyrics.. And catching you looking at me i just..” i got lost. I wanted to tell her all that i felt right now but words just didn’t come to me. All that was in my mind that moment was to not let her go.

“Eunbi i already told you a thousand times, we can’t be together like you want us to. we--”

“Like I want us to?” i asked, suddenly awake, “don’t act like you don’t want the same, that you don’t feel the same way that i do. You confessed!”

She blushed, but didn’t back down. “Yeah, you’re right. I did confess, but i was drunk. I would never have done that while sober, and i definitely regret what i did.” she said, her tone harsh.

“But why Unnie? Why? Why do you regret that? Why don’t you accept my love? Is it something i did? Tell me so i could at least understand where are you coming from.”  i tried hard to fight back the tears that were threatening to come out, it wasn’t the right time. But one sad tear managed to escape after all.

Yerin sighed in despair. “You won't understand” she blurted out.

I gaped my jaw a little. She did not just say that. “Why wouldn't i understand?? Is it because i’m too young? Is it because of the others? You’re afraid of what others will think? What is it? I’ll try my best to understand, i always do!” i started losing control over my voice and it cracked at the end of my sentence, but i barely cared.”Yennie.. Please talk to me.” i looked at her with pleading eyes, begging her to trust me.

She looked at me intently. I saw the hesitance and.. Was it fear in her eyes? I wanted to eliminate all sort of fear from her, if only she will open up to me!!

Eventually her gaze became an angry one. “Stop being so selfish Sinb. don’t you ever think about our group? About GFriend? Did it cross your mind what will happen to us if rumors about us d..dating will leak out?? We can't risk it Eunbi-ya! We have responsibilities! We have reputation to keep! We can't be careless about this, we have to think about the consequences! Stop acting so childish and start being more rational!” she said all this harshly, almost shouting at me.

After she ended her speech i was shocked. Did she really think i haven't thought about all of that already? Does she really see me as that irresponsible kid she needs to take care of and educate? I was deeply hurt by her words and barely knew how to respond to it.

“You think i haven't thought of that already?? I always think about GFriend! I think ONLY about GFriend most of the time!” i was deeply hurt, and i felt the anger build up inside me so i just let go of her hand which i was still holding forcefully, and dashed out of the practice room, leaving yerin alone inside it, feeling a bit guilty, but also sure she did the right thing...even though right now it felt so wrong.

Countless hurt, pouring tears

Disappear when they see we are one

I love you nothing can stop us

This is the beginning

With the last chord, she too left the room.

END OF FLASHBACK

I sighed to myself, i didn’t want to think about it. I know we need to talk and fix things between us. We can’t stay like this forever..but right now i still couldn’t get myself to think about the right things to say. And i was still hurt from her words. I don’t know if she really meant them, but just the fact that she said all of that is hard for me.

“Little Eunbi-ya!” i heard my mom’s..sorry-my leader sowon’s voice calling for me. She’s such a headache sometimes… who is she to call me little? And shut up, i don’t care if compared to her i am, it’s not the point.

“Wea??” i whined. Huh.. maybe there really is a point in here nickname to me.. I need to work on that.

“Drop the whining. And manager-nim asked me to tell you to go to the company right now, he needs you for something.”

I quirked my brow, “what for?”

Sojung just shrugged her shoulders and left back to the kitchen to make dinner… she might be a headache but i seriously don’t know what we would have done without her. Probably starve to death. Anyways,manager-nim called me so i don’t have a choice but leave the comfy sofa and head to the company building.

“Bye guys, i’ll be back later” i announced to any listening ear, and left.

BACK IN THE DORM’S KITCHEN:

As she flipped the omelet in the frying pan, one mischievous leader grinned to herself “manager calling her my ” she chuckled, and thought about the surprise that’s waiting for Sinb at the company.

BACK TO SINB POV:

As i reached the company, i asked some employee if he saw manager-nim, but he said that he wasn’t in the company that day because he was sick and will come only the next day. He asked me if i needed something and if he could help somehow, but i just thanked him and told him i’ll mange.

This is weird.. I thought. Didn’t giraffe unnie say manager-nim wanted to meet me here? What is going on? What is this ? I was having such a nice time relaxing on our comfy sofa, daydreaming about my yennie.. I mean.. Whatever yeah i was daydreaming about her.. And i came all the way here trying to be polite and it was all a for nothing? Arrhhggg so annoying!

But i decided not to cry over a spilled cup of milk, and if i’m already here to at least do something useful so it won’t be entirely to waste.

I went up to the 2nd floor, where the dance practice rooms were. I continued walking until the end of the hall, where our own practice room was. I was searching for the keys to the door, when i suddenly heard noises from inside the room, indicating that someone was already there practicing. Who could it be? I thought all the girls were still at the dorm? Might be Yewon-ei..

I shrugged it and just opened the unlocked door.

“Hello?” i asked, expecting to hear Yewon’s voice calling back, since she usually comes here around this hour and i really didn’t recall seeing her at the dorm, but i was surprised when i was greeted back with silence. But i could swear i heard someone dancing a few moment ago.. “Hello? Somebody in here?” i tried calling again.”i heard someone dancing and the door wasn’t locked so..” i said while entering the dancing area, but i was faced with an empty practice room.

The day is just getting weirder and weirder..

I looked around, maybe i missed the unknown member’s figure, but indeed there was no one there.

“Okay.. i guess i just heard wrong then..” i mumbled, a bit disappointed because i actually felt like practicing with a dancing buddy today.. It was always better dancing together than alone.

But then i suddenly heard a husty hiss coming from the entrance to the practice room.

What was that all about? I asked myself, and went to check for the source of that sound. As i passed the wall that hid the view of the entrance door, i was surprised and confused seeing Yerin-unnie there, trying but failing to open the door, trying to get out.

“What are you doing here?” i asked, confused seeing her there after being convinced i was alone, after being convinced that there was someone else there before that.

“Umm… practicing?” she said as if it was obvious, but not looking at me.

“No i mean, what are you doing here at the door?” i asked,clearing myself. “I thought i was alone here.”

She still wasn’t looking me in the eyes as she said “i remembered i needed to go somewhere, and we probably just missed each other when you came in…” she said. I raised my eyebrow, and then looked around the open room, trying to figure out how her lame excuse made sense. But as i looked around the room i was convinced, there was no way for both of us being in this room without noticing  each other, unless one of us really didn’t want to be seen. And it wasn’t so hard to guess who that someone was.

I looked at her again, her head was lowered, knowing she was caught. “Yerin.” i said. “There is no way i wouldn’t have seen you in this room, unless you avoided me.” i accused. “If you’ll go ahead and make excuses around me at least find some better ones.” i said, not even trying to hide the fact that i was hurt. I was seriously starting to get sick of this. “And why are you just standing there?” i asked when i noticed she’s still in the room while clearly not wanting to stay there. “I’m not forcing you to stay or anything.. You can go if you want.” i said and turned my back to her.

“Actually..” she said and i turned back to her,eyebrows raised in expectation. “The door is stuck.. I can’t get out.” she said and lowered her head again.

I sighed. What did i expect? That she stayed because she wanted to? Because she was finally willing to talk to me? Foolish of me, i know. But i can’t stop myself from still believing in us. That we are meant to be, and that sooner or later she will open up to me. I just have to be patient and give her the time she needs.

I nodded to her and got closer, in attempt to also try and open the door. Her body stiffened when i got closer to her, but i simply ignored it as if i didn’t notice, and approached the door. I held the door knob with both of my hands, and leaned all of my body weight on the door. I tried a few times, each time increasing the force i had thrown on the door, but no use. The door just wont open. I released the knob and turned back to yerin and shrugged my shoulders. “I guess you’re stuck with me.” i said and smiled to her, using my -friendly-and-not-intimidating-nor-hinting- tone so she wouldn’t feel pressured, and to assure her that i am still her friend, after all.

She looked at me for a few seconds, but then she returned to trying finding a way out of the room, an i just laid my head on my hand in disappointment… well at least i tried.

And that’s how the next 10 minutes went- Yerin trying to find a way out this room, and me just looking at her useless efforts while stretching in front of the mirror.

Suddenly an idea crossed my mind, and i hit myself for not realizing it earlier.. For weeks i searched for chances to talk to her, and finally i got it, and there won’t be any better time than this, when we are stuck here together and she isn’t able to escape. I silently thanked god for this gold opportunity, and stopped all stretching and looked at her again, who seemed like she was looking for a hidden door or something, by how she was crawling on the floor. I bit my lip, trying to suppress a giggle, thinking how classy Yerin that act was. “Maybe it’s a sign” i thought aloud, letting her hear me. Yerin just stared at me as if i just fell off the moon..

“What sign exactly?” she asked, and started kicking the door again without waiting for my answer.

Yerin looked very motivated to get out of there,while i on the other hand, was pretty calm. I realized already that there was no getting out of the room, and if we were already stuck here, why not make the best out of it?

“A sign that we need to talk.” i answered with a meaningful tone.

“Talk about what?” she asked, again trying to avoid any eye contact.

“You know exactly what.”  

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” she answered and started walking around the room again, probably in additional search after something heavy that she could...break the door with it? Yeah good luck to her.. As strong as i know yerin is, she has no chance against this 4 inches thick door, which was built to be stronger and more durable than the average door. Unless she developed some super powers while we weren't talking, but i doubted that possibility. She will just have to accept that she’s stuck with me.

“Unnie” i said. No response. “Yerin Unnie,” i tried again, but the results stayed the same.

“Jung Yerin!” i raised my voice to a half shout. Now this caught her attention, i never called her with her full name, definitely not with this tone. Hearing her name said with that tone by me, immediately made her head snap towards me. Yerin stared at me, surprised.

“Unnie”, i said again, softly this time. “Please hear me out. The only way to get out of here is to wait for someone to realize that we are missing and come to rescue us. It might take hours,since we don’t have our phones on us. Now, we have two options: one, to wait awkwardly for the rescuer to come. Or that we will use the time to talk about..things.” i looked at her intently, and i was relieved to see her looking at me the same. “We need to talk, unnie. And if you don’t have anything to say to me,at least hear what i have to say, because last time i didn’t get to say all that i wanted.” i said all of that super fast, almost as a rapper, before Yerin will come back to her senses and stop listening.

Yerin lowered her head again, and played with the hem of her skirt. “Sinb.. i’ve already told you.. We can’t be together. It just won’t work. We have nothing to talk about.”

Even though it wasn't exactly what i hoped to hear, i was happy that she at least noticed me and answered me. Now, i need to develop this conversation. So even though i already knew the answer i asked, “why not?” i took a very, super duper, extremely careful step towards her, really not wanting to close her up to me again. “Don’t think that i don’t know the consequences Yerin-ah. I know them all too damn well. Believe me. But i also think you worry too much. We will just need to be a bit more careful around cameras.. And the girls will understand. You know they will. And honestly, i don’t mind the idea of secretly dating. It’s exciting even, don't you think?” i smiled my mischievous smile, but immediately returned to my serious and honest face. The last thing i needed right now is for her to think that i’m immature. I needed to show her she can trust me. “We can make it work Yerin-ah.. It doesn't have to be so complicated. We just have to trust each other.” i said confidently. I wanted her to hear the confidence in my voice. I wanted her to understand that i am serious. About this, about her, about us.

***

Yerin ran her hand through her hair in frustration. She knew it wasn't a good idea for them to be together. They weren’t regular girls. They couldn’t behave carelessly like that. they have an image to keep, crazy schedules, buddies,paparazzi.. in the last few months they became very popular, and she couldn’t let it all go down to drain now. Anything they do, and any secret they’re trying to keep and might get revealed has a huge impact not only for them two, but for the whole group. They can’t look at this lightly like that, and Sinb doesn’t seem to realize that. Yerin, being Yerin, felt like the responsibility of defending her group is entirely on her shoulders, and she refused to make any mistakes, or else she will never forgive herself. And agreeing to Sinb’s and her own heart’s pleads, will definitely be one.

She sought in her mind for a way to make all of this clear to Sinb, but since she hadn’t find any, it all burst out of her in a wave of frustrated questions, “You do realize that it can cause us to lose everything? It will ruin our entire career that we’ve worked so hard to accomplish. Is that what you want? That the minute we’ll start dating it will get revealed and everyone will hate us and we won’t be able to show our faces publicly? Huh? Is that what you want? You know our country’s view towards this kind of stuff..they won’t accept us. Do you really want to take that risk??” she asked, raising her voice as she talked, getting a bit angry towards the end. Yes, she loves Sinb. a lot even, but she couldn't let herself act irationaly about this. She has responsibility!

Then, Sinb walked closer to her, not afraid this time, and held the now surprised yerin’s hands.

“I just want you pabo-ya. And if it means to take all of those risks you mentioned, i am willing to take them all. Call it selfish, but you are worth it.” she said it with so much love and desire in her voice, and with eyes fixed into her precious unnie’s eyes, that Yerin’s breath stopped for a second. She just continued to stand there, unable to talk. And then, to Sinb’s horror, she spotted a single tear running down Yerin’s cheek.

“Eunbi..” she said weakly, hardly audible, but Sinb still heard it, and she could hear Yerin’s sadness,insecurity,  frustration, and craving. "i'm scared..."

Sinb took another daring step towards her, and gently wiped the tear off yerin’s face with her thumb, and hugged her. “Shh. i know it’s hard” she whispered to her ear, “and i know the consequences unnie. I’m not that naive to think everything will go smoothly like in a fairy tale. But if it means i can be with you, have you to myself, and love you like you deserve to be loved,” she pulled back a bit from the hug to be able to look at Yerin’s teary eyes, “than i am willing to fight for us, and to make it happen.” she leaned her forehead to Yerin’s. They were so close right now, that Yerin’s heart could barely handle it, as she felt herself drowning into those dark orbs of her favorite dongseang who’s standing right in front of her. “Aren’t you?” continued Sinb with her question. Her voice filled with hope to Yerin’s response. And the proximity between their bodies didn’t help Yerin one bit with her efforts to think straight. Somewhere, deep inside, she knew it was wrong. She knew that the right thing to do right now will be to distant herself from her, and act like this conversation had never happened. But right now, in the mental and physical state they were in, she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. Sinb’s words touched her heart, and her eyes are hypnotizing.

Yerin closed her eyes and tried to control her galloping heart. Damn with those feelings, she wanted Sinb so much at that moment. For a few more minutes, they just stood there like that, hugging each other, foreheads touching, and Yerin’s eyes still closed, trying to gain back any bit of self control she still has in her.

Until Yerin suddenly disconnected herself from Sinb’s arms, leaving the latter’s arms fall back to the sides of her body, with a sigh leaving .

Yerin ran her hand through her hair again, and ruffled it in frustration while she tried to decide what to do, until came the moment in which she decided- damn with everything! This girl is worth it. And like that, without any warning, and before she’ll get the chance to regret it, she walked hurriedly towards a now very surprised Sinb, almost running, held her face between the palms of her hands, and pressed her lips to Sinb’s with a kiss that told a story. A story of a girl who fell in love with her best friend in a forbidden love, bottled her feelings inside for months due to the burden of worry and responsibility, and prevented herself from doing the one thing she truly wanted to do. And now in a moment of freeing herself from her responsibilities, she let out all the feelings she wanted to convey into that kiss.

When Sinb recovered from the momentarily shock, she quickly wrapped her hands around Yerin’s waist, and tightened her closer to her body.

In their kiss, they both expressed the feelings they kept to themselves since they met each other, and the result was a desperate and passionate kiss, and they both just weren’t able to stop.

After something that felt like eternity, but probably was just a few minutes, they cut off the kiss, due to the existential need to breath. They were both breathless, and their hearts pounded hard against each other. And as she was wrapped in Sinb’s loving arms, Yerin knew she could’nt live without it, and couldn't understand how she survived ‘till now without it.

She tightened her hold around Sinb’s neck, and buried her face in the crook of her neck.

“Im sorry i took too long..” she mumbled into Sinb’s hair, and Sinb reciprocated the hug, smiling like a fool.  

“It’s ok,” she said softly while caressing Yerin’s back, not able to control the happiness in her, “i would wait for you till the end of the world if i had to” she said seriously, earning a muffled sob from yerin. Her head was still buried in Sinb’s neck, and she knew that she meant her words, but she still felt unworthy of them. “I love you.” Sinb continued with a shaky and a bit hoarse voice, and she could feel Yerin’s heart missing a beat or two in response.

Yerin tightened her hold on Sinb so much that the latter almost choked, but she didn’t mind. As long as it was from love, Sinb didn’t mind to die because of yerin. Yerin finally pulled her head out of Sinb’s neck, and kissed her again, but this time the kiss wasn’t desperate. This time it was full of love and happiness. “Oh Eunbi, I love you too” she said between the kisses. “ so so so so much” she said as she kept on leaving chaste kisses on the younger’s lips. She felt so much regret for all the time she rejected her because of the fear of consequences. She was so happy right now, expressing her love, that she almost forgot why she distanced herself in the first place. But she didn’t forget, she still knew what this relationship meant for the group, but the hurt in Sinb’s eyes became more unbearable  than all the other things. And besides, Sinb’s right. They can make it work, she will make it work even if her life depended on it. Call it selfish, but she’ll never let Sinb go again.

Sinb could taste the salty taste of tears in their kiss, but she couldn’t tell anymore if they were her’s or Yerin’s. The only thing she knew was that she was having the best moment of her life right now, and after she got to experience Yerin’s love, she knew she would never let her go.

She was proud of herself for not giving up on her, damn you’re good Sinb. she thought and smiled into the kiss, as she could feel their bodies giving in to the force of gravity, stumbling to the practice room’s floor, their bodies still glued to each other, as well as their lips, which carries their smiles, and promises for their future together.

MEANWHILE…

outside the practice room’s door, a giraffe, a bunny, a puppy and a baby were pressing their ears to the door trying to hear what’s going on in the room between the two oblivious girls. The Giraffe was trying to look through the little glass window that’s built in the door, but unfortunately couldn’t see a thing.

Suddenly they heard a sound resembling a moan from inside the room.

“Wait i think i heard something!” said the puppy excitedly.

“Yeah me too.. Wait! ARE THEY….” exclaimed a bunny, but she was cut off by the giraffe who had a bit of a flushed face as she said, “umm i think my plan worked a bit too well… lets just leave them alone now and give them some privacy…”

A loud laugh came out from the baby’s lips, which caused the others to look at her questiongly. “Sinb is sooo gonna hear about that later” said umji in glee, and Sowon Eunha and Yuju also couldn’t suppress their smiles thinking about what they’ll do to them at the dorm..

And like that, smiling and giggling, they left the new couple alone in the practice room, taking the keys that caused all this scene with them....

And the two love birds in the room surely used their privacy for the best! (:

__________

A/N well.. that's it for my first ever oneshot. i hope you liked it.. please let me know your thoughts in the comments!