It was one of those exhausting mornings again. Taeyeon woke up at five thirty to get ready for work. By six she had finished  showering, drying her hair, and getting ready for work. By seven she had prepared breakfast for the family. She then ate quickly and made her way to the subway station. Everyday was a repetition of the same exact actions that Taeyeon had gotten used to and had accepted.

She had always loved her trips to and from work on the train. Unlike many other people who dreaded the long boring ride, Taeyeon strangely enjoyed it. Because for her, it was a chance to slow down. And for her, it was the only time she could plug in her earphones and relax as her heart beat in sync with the melody. And every note the soothing voice of her favorite singer hit, her mind would drift further and further away from reality. It was her only escape.

But as she savored the music with her eyes closed again like every other morning, Taeyeon felt something. She almost felt irritated by this constant nudge at her conscious. She was unsure of what the peculiar feeling she had was, but it had led her to open her eyes; her concentration on the singer's voice had never been interrupted like this before.

And that moment was when their eyes first met.

It was only a mere millisecond, but Taeyeon was completely mesmerized. Her entire body shut down, keeping her eyes fixed on the figure in front of her. And she continued to stay frozen in that state, even when her favorite song began to ring in her ears. What was more important to her body, her heart, and her soul at that very moment was almost... unclear. But Taeyeon continued to absorb the image in front of her. Her body seemed not to know of a better thing to do. The image reflecting from her eyes was far more captivating than anything she had seen. Almost. Almost as much as her.

This stop is Gangnam-gu Office, Gangnam-gu Office. The doors are on your right.

Taeyeon snapped back to reality. She quickly gathered her belongings and exited the train, not shy of taking another peek at the owner of those mesmerizing eyes.

 

She had a very good job for a girl who had just graduated from university. Working eight hours a day at the company would earn her almost sixty thousand dollars a year. However, that amount was short of what she needed - short of what her family needed. Her parents’ small business had gone bankrupt and her brother lost almost three hundred thousand dollars in the stock market. Taeyeon needed to do something to help her family. She resolved to applying for a position at her company that no one wanted. The position earned Taeyeon a great increase in salary compared to her previous position but everyone knew that the job description had responsibilities not even two people could handle. She had no choice.

Of course Taeyeon did more than working thirteen hours a day for five days a week. She continued to work even during the weekend. She would tutor students of all ages in her field of expertise. Her life, or a lack of one, was a complete misery. The only thing that kept her sane was the voice of one very specific female.

 

“Hey. Come over,” she would call Taeyeon.

Those were usually the words that sent Taeyeon flying, even if they came at two in the morning. Because she knew that being with that very special person was a lot more comforting than sleep. Just receiving such message was enough for her to fight off any fatigue that came her way. The female was that special to Taeyeon.

“You’ve come?” The angelic voice of the girl brought Taeyeon in a daze once again. A pure genuine smile quickly appeared on her face. She extended her hand and held Taeyeon’s as she pulled the latter swiftly through the door of the apartment.

And together, they waltzed towards the sofa positioned a couple of meters away. Once reaching their destination, the girl turned around and placed her arms around Taeyeon’s neck. She smiled, sending pure bliss into the latter’s heart. Enclosing the gap between their faces and allowing their foreheads to touch, the girl bit her lower lip, suppressing a wide grin tugging viciously at the corners of .

“I’ve missed you,” she whispered. Her breath made Taeyeon’s entire body shudder as the phrase echoed and rang in her ears.

“I did too,” Taeyeon confessed. She did a lot more than just missing the girl. She needed- no, she desperately craved the girl’s presence as if to say that her body was biologically depended on the female in front of her. But this addiction was a lot more than physical. To Taeyeon, this girl was the reason behind the continuation of her existence. In simpler words, without the girl… Taeyeon might cease to exist.

 

“Can’t you stay longer?” The girl asked with longing, sparkling eyes. Disappointment was clearly displayed in her pout, an expression Taeyeon could never resist. With her bare body, her soft silky skin melted on Taeyeon’s body. She then leaned in and rested her head on the Taeyeon’s equally smooth shoulder.

“You know I have to go to work.” Taeyeon heaved a sigh. As much as she appreciated the girl’s warmth under the cover, she knew she had to leave. It is after all the reality that she was living in.

“Please accept my offer.” The girl shifted her body and repositioned so their faces could meet. “Just let me pay for your family’s debt.” She brought up the topic once more, eager to offer any assistance she could.

“I cannot.”

“Please?” She begged. Her eyes began to water as she stared deeply into Taeyeon’s eyes. By now she had already lifted her head up from Taeyeon's shoulder. “It hurts me every time I see these dark circles.” Her hand caressed the area under her lover’s eyes. “And just how tired you always appear in front of me.” Her voice finally cracked. She couldn’t hold it in anymore. Each word she spoke reminded her of the pain she felt upon every recent encounter with Taeyeon. Her heart was tearing up inside and her emotion began to pour out through those sparkling eyes she had fought so hard to keep hidden.

“I love you,” Taeyeon simply said. Then without any further words, she pressed her lips against the girl lying next to her on the bed. Each and every time their lips touched, Taeyeon’s body would wither back in happiness. She really did not know how one person could make her experience these tender, intense feelings. And she was terrified. She feared a life without this certain female.

 

But fate really played with her. When Taeyeon took the train ride to work again the next day, she caught the pair of eyes again. The pair of eyes that appeared happy, yet showed melancholy. The pair of eyes that wanted everyone to believe its mask, yet deeply inside hoped for someone to notice the true sorrow.

“I’m fine.” Taeyeon imagined the girl would automatically reply, a habitual lie hidden behind the simplicity of two words.

Taeyeon wanted to turn away, to close her eyes, or to even walk to another cart but something always stopped her. A force inside her was keeping every muscle of her body there, in front of the pair of eyes again. She knew that she was the only one who noticed the pair of eyes, and they fascinated her more than anything. Rarely could anyone distract her from listening to the only sound that allowed her heart to breathe properly. But this pair of eyes, this stranger, they were able to mesmerize her almost effortlessly.

Who is she?

The stranger was a girl with soft wavy long hair that draped over her thin shoulders. She was pretty, she was cute, and she was definitely captivating, more than Taeyeon had wanted.

Who is she? Why does she have such effect on me?

Taeyeon continued to observe the girl throughout the entire train ride. And only until her stop did she realize that nothing had been coming out from her earphones. Distracted by the stranger, she had forgotten to even press the play button. But her heart had been breathing very steadily this whole time without trouble. She took another glance at the stranger intensely before leaving the train.

Who is she? How can she do this to me?

 

"I'm sorry I have to be in China for the whole week to prepare for my new album." The message read.

Taeyeon was disappointed upon reading the screen of her phone. She heaved a sigh as she stood waiting for the next train at the platform.

She had always entered the train at the exact same cart every morning because it was the closest to the exit going to her company. She would never get on a different one, especially after seeing the same stranger on the same cart for the past week. Although she refused to admit it, Taeyeon was now enjoying the train ride to work for a very different reason. Without actually doing anything, the stranger had begun to change her.

As Taeyeon stepped on the train, she prepared herself. The powerful, intense attraction that the stranger had on her mind was almost too much to handle. But no matter how hard she prepared, the mere sight of the stranger would spark explosions throughout her entire body. And she really hated it. She had always been in control of her body and heart until the two girls showed up in her life. It made her feel weak and helpless to admit that those two girls had more power over her own emotions.

She understood that it was wrong. That it was not okay for her to feel this way about another girl, but she was rather defenseless and powerless against the stranger on the train ride every morning to work. Deep down, however, she really appreciated the stranger's existence and her ability to stir such emotions. This new and fresh kinder was something Taeyeon needed in her life. It really gave her a different reason to carry on.

After entering the specific cart that she had always ridden in, Taeyeon took the first empty seat she saw. Her fingers intertwined with each other as she braced for the dramatic encounter with the heart pounding stranger at the next stop.

But her heart sank at the next stop. The stranger was not there and did not enter the train. Taeyeon felt lost and panicked. She had seem to have lost a part of herself due to the absence of the stranger. Her breathing became heavier as it was getting a lot harder for her disoriented heart to breathe. She felt dizzy. Everything around her began to spin. Neither of her sources of oxygen were present. Her hands trembled. She breathed. Nothing. She tried again. Nothing. And it nearly took her life if she hadn’t fumbled and jammed her earphones in place. This time, Taeyeon could no longer deny the significant impact the stranger had on her.

Where is she? I need to find her. I need her.

The stranger’s whereabouts remained a mystery even in the next few days. By the end of the week, Taeyeon was still unable to see the magical, charming girl. She felt as if the part of herself that had been dancing along the beats of wheels rolling on the rail had died out with the absence of the stranger. As if this fresh new part of her life had withered away in the lonely winter. As if all the warmth she needed to fight the cold had quickly escape from underneath her skin. She shivered in her seat as she looked across the cart at the seat that normally carried the body of the special stranger now took on the weight of another insignificant stranger.

Eventually she fell back to her old routine. She just closed her eyes and enjoyed the sound coming out from her earphones. But for some reason, the same old tunes that used to offer her comfort no longer provided much for her soul. She felt incomplete without this stranger.

 

"Surprise!"

Taeyeon was taken back by the sight her, the person that had been holding on to her heart for the past five years. Her angelic face was beaming with pure charms, an image that had kept Taeyeon alive throughout those years.

But the smile on her face nearly killed Taeyeon. The girl's genuine excitement in seeing Taeyeon was like a needle stabbing in her heart. She loved the girl, she really did. However, with the image of that unforgettable stranger still lingering in her mind, Taeyeon knew she had betrayed the girl in front of her. She could only imagine the tear drops that would eventually roll down the girl's soft pink cheeks, and it pained her tremendously knowing that she would eventually hurt the girl she loved.

"What's wrong?" The girl asked.

She hesitated, not sure of what to say or what to do. Taeyeon stared into the worrying yet still gleaming eyes in front of her. But she wasn't panicking. She was not afraid of the girl's anger. She was only scared of breaking the girl's fragile heart.

And it was then that Taeyeon remembered the history they shared with each other.

-

It was five years ago when they first met during her Taeyeon's first year in college. Her friend had invited her out for dinner with a very special friend, someone who was a trainee at a renowned entertainment company. The friend had claimed that the trainee had a silky, soothing voice that could melt hearts and Taeyeon wanted to confirm. She had always been a fan of such voices. But what the friend had left out was the fact that the trainee was more beautiful than any girl Taeyeon had ever seen in her life. She fell head over heels and almost crashed against the ground upon seeing the trainee’s elegant figure and stunning good looks.

“Hello. My name is Jessica.” She greeted with a shy smile.

And that was the first time Taeyeon got to hear the angelic voice of the girl. The voice that sent her mind to another dimension and numbed her entire body. It was also the first time Taeyeon had lost her heart, and she had no regrets whatsoever about handing her entire soul to this special person. Her appearance, her voice, and just everything about her attracted each and every electron in Taeyeon’s body.

Within the first month after meeting each other, the two had already found themselves in each other arms. It was also when Taeyeon learned about Jessica’s history and discovered her weak, fragile heart that was also in need of a genuine caretaker. Over time, Jessica had also recognized that Taeyeon was that very person who could offer her the embrace that would shelter her from the world. And that Taeyeon was the person she had been searching for her entire life. They stayed together even through all the hardships and never once spoke of separation. Taeyeon continued to support her even when troubles started flying her way, and Jessica never left Taeyeon even after she debuted and became one of the top artists in Korea.

-

“Are you okay?” Jessica asked once more.

Taeyeon finally snapped back to the reality she was in. She quickly forced out a smile and shook off the heartbreaking thoughts of hurting her girlfriend. Who knows? She might never see that mysterious stranger ever again and things would go back to how they were before.

“Sorry. I was just remembering about our first encounter.”

“You’re being silly again.” She giggled. And upon checking for any paparazzi, she quickly pecked the girl in front of her.

"You're not worried this will be on the front page tomorrow?"

Jessica smiled and shook her head. "For you, I would do anything."

"Walk home with me." She said and entangled her fingers with those of Jessica's. Taeyeon smiled and took everything to her heart. She really truly loved the girl next to her. And everything felt complete with her around.

 

Taeyeon had just finished running some errands for her parents before heading to work. She stared down at her phone and realized that she only had three minutes to run to the subway if she wanted to catch her normal train. But she did not panic. She had already informed her boss that she would be a couple of minutes late - a couple more minutes of rest that her mentality desperately needed.

Don’t be late, Taeyeon-ah. Or you will regret it. - Jessica

She stared at the strange text message her girlfriend had just sent to her. There was not enough time even if she ran as fast she could. She stared at her phone and the text message again. Why?  Taeyeon did not care anymore. Her heart demanded that she get on that specific train. An idea popped in her head and she finally resorted to taking a taxi to another subway stop that was two stops after the one she would always get on. That was the only way she could catch the ride on that exact train she would take every morning.

After running hastily and weaving through Seoul city’s rush hour human traffic, Taeyeon finally saw the train. She quickly dashed over and hopped on the train within mere seconds before the entrance door closed behind her. She breathed heavily and held onto a rail for support. After resting for roughly one minute, Taeyeon started to march towards the cart where she would usually sit.

The walk there seemed to last forever. Although images of many different people were reflected in her eyes, none caught the attention of her heart. The only thing on her mind was the journey to that very specific cart. Her nerves were tensed and her heart beat irregularly as she took the final step inside. Something was causing chaos in her body and she couldn't get rid of it. But no matter how much her heart seemed in turmoil, not once did she even think about eradicating the feeling.

And then it finally happened. When Taeyeon opened the door that separated the two carts, she saw her again. The stranger stood behind the door with her back facing Taeyeon. And the Taeyeon's heart skipped a beat upon noticing the girl. She stopped herself from walking forward and just stood there, motionless. The mere sight of the girl sent waves and waves of shock to her entire soul. And Taeyeon knew that the stranger had completely taken over her heart.

However, Taeyeon's emotional turbulence instantly dissipated when the stranger turned around. Their eyes met again for the first time since their initial meeting, but unlike before, their eyes stayed fixed as if someone had locked their eyes in place. Neither of them wanted to look at any other direction but the pair of dark orbs reflecting their same own curious gaze.

Suddenly, a drop of tear escaped from the stranger's eye. Then another one rolled down on the opposite cheek. She stared back at Taeyeon and poured her heart out through the only way she knew. Her eyes still managed to sparkle under the glaze of misery that had engulfed them. A faint smile appeared on her face as she continued to stand there, a steady thin stream trickling down her cheeks.

As for Taeyeon, she did not know why the stranger was crying but it pained her to see the girl like that. She felt as if someone was squeezing her heart, as if every tear that rolled down the stranger’s face had triggered waves of blood to pulse out from her heart. She wanted to do something. She wanted to protect the girl from all the sufferings in the world. And she wanted desperately to stay by the stranger’s side until the end of the universe.

This stop is Naebang, Naebang. The doors are  on your right.

The only thought in Taeyeon's mind at the moment was to run to the stranger, grab her hand, and drag her out of the train. And that was exactly what she did. Immediately after the train doors opened, Taeyeon held on to the girl's hand and together exited the train. Surprisingly, the latter did not resist but simply went along, almost willingly.

That moment, that first physical contact with the stranger sent Taeyeon's heart flying amongst the pink clouds in the sky. The stranger's soft, slim hand sent her body into state of emergency. Her heart pumped irregularly and her head felt dizzy again. Then finally, she let go of the touch that was making every cell in her body vibrate. She stared at the girl in amusement wondering how the latter can make her feel so strange... Yet so tender.

Then after another glance at the stranger's still watery eyes, Taeyeon pulled the girl into her embrace - with her arms shielding the girl from all the torment and sorrows in the world. And with her heart, Taeyeon offered a soothing comfort, a home to the stranger’s very heart. She did not know why she was so compelled to communicate her affection with the the stranger but she did not care. Logic had failed her and so, she had allowed her emotions be in control. And they told her to never let go of this girl in front of her.