Tequila, Movies.

It’s a wonderful feeling, being able to start writing again, typing words as if they have no end. Although the mood would rarely visit again, when it suddenly strikes, you haven’t anything but to give on to it. Let the feeling consume you; the nostalgia and the different wonderful mixtures of unexplainable emotion, flowing strangely through every tap of each finger.

Stopping for a little, with a gentle bite on the lip; I listen intently to the music playing on the background, trying to think of how to portray the words in my head and translate them into letters, words, sentences that would inevitably make up rivers of sentences, paragraphs and phrases.

I let my mind softly linger to the thought of her.

“We’re still on for next Thursday, yes?”

“I’m not sure.”

“What. Why? We’ve talked about this for weeks, Lis.”

“I know. But are you still up for it? You have a thing with Hanbin on Wednesday.”

“Well, yes. But that’s for the night before, and we’re not even drinking. I don’t see why we can’t go.”

“Oh. But still.”

“Sigh. Look, do you not want to come? Because even if I have something going on in the same day, I’d still make time to come to the movies with you Thursday, you know that, Lis.” She replied, her forehead creases, seeming exasperated from my response.

“I do. I just. Sigh, fine.” I gave in. Knowing I’ll never win at the end anyway. “I just didn’t want to tire you out as is. I know how hectic this week is.”

“Thank you. But it’s the movies we’re talking about. Days with you are my days to relax.” She started and ended with her gummy smile, clinging on to my arm and putting her head on my shoulder. I smiled and continued watching bad TV for the rest of the night with her in my arm.

--**--

“We’re here! Ohmygod, it’s a frenzy in here!”

“Good for you.”

“….”

“-laughs- It’s your first time actually witnessing a live band, right?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Enjoy it then.”

“I know, it’s kinda fun I guess.” She replied, sending emojis and smiley faces.

“Like I said, enjoy it. Stop texting. How would you enjoy the music.”

“I AM listening, though.”

“Okay. Gtg now.”

“You’d hate it in here.”

“I know.”

“HAHA. Hanbin’s pissed now, I’ll stop texting. I’ll see you later. Love you (;”

I read the last message, let out the sigh that I was holding and took a shot.

“Geez, you drink like an old man Lisa.”

“Shut up, Chaeng.”

“She’s out with him again, huh.”

“What’s new.” I downed the rest of my beer and waved at the waiter. “Three more shots in here, please. Oh, and um. Add two more bottles of beer.” He nodded and went off.

“You’re hopeless. Just move on, get it over with.”

“Do I not look like I’m trying?” I stared at her, eyes half closed. The mixture of beer and tequila started kicking in. I felt warm.

“You don’t, actually.”

I sighed for the nth time that night. Just the thought of them together kills me. I felt a hand on the small of my back.

“Let it out, come on.”

And I did. For the very first time ever since I told her about this secret love, I did. I cried in front of my best friend. I didn’t care if I looked messy, pathetic, a loser. I didn’t care.

I just wanted to let the feeling be there, let the hurt drown me for once. And let someone see the vulnerability I’ve actually hid for the longest I could remember in this ty phase of my life.

--**--

“You’re a mess, Lisa. What the ?!” I heard her said. I drunkenly walked to my room, ignoring her as I stumbled to cross the living room.

-

Jennie glared at Chaeyoung, trying her best to keep her voice down. “What the hell happened?!”

“Um. She wanted a night out?”

“I understand that. But she’s never been this drunk! And her eyes are so puffy, Chaeng! What the ?!”

“Let her be, it’s just the alcohol.” Chaeyoung slurred. “You know, I’m pretty drunk