is it a sin to yearn for love? (it is not)

KHR Fic Week

Day 1: Sin

As far as Reborn could remember, he had always been alone. His first ever memory was waking up in the street, curled up in ratty, dirty clothes that couldn't even shield him from the world. He remembered, stealing for food, even going as far as scraping through the dumpsters. He remembered the cold nights, the emptiness in his heart, the loneliness in his soul.

He had yearned for a roof above his head, for food enough to last him a lifetime. He had yearned for the lives other children has, yearned for the warmth and love they receive as well, the things he never had. He never had anyone who would protect him, who would hold him. 

He was left to face the cruel, disgusting world all alone.

He fought. He fought fair as well as dirty for a place in the world. He fought, maimed, and killed for acknowledgement, for those he had yearned. He never stopped until he gained them, even if nightmare haunted him day and night, hands tainted to the point of no return.

And he had gained them, but not the love he had seen. Never that warm love. People draped all over him, obediently followed him, listened to every one of his words, handed themselves to him. It was all done not for that love, but for his mercy, his money and his fame. They had never wanted who he was, but what he had.

He knew, but he indulged. For fun and to cover up his heart. He still yearned for that love, but he knew as well that he would never have it.

A sinner doesn't deserve all this. 

Until he realized that he does and had received it when he had done nothing but came crashing leg first into Tsuna's life, literally.

He gained not only a student- two when he realized as well that Dino had always held a special place in his heart as well, he just didn't realize it-, but also a friend, a savior. He had gained a family, who forgives him for his shortcomings, saw him as who he was, know what he was and his tainted self, and still loves him. He gained the warm love he had always wanted, people who would die in a heartbeat for him, not because of his title, but because he was him.

He was their family, as much as they were his.

He recoiled.

He was a sinner.

He doesn't deserve this.

He cannot have this.

He had already ruined their lives, he couldn't accept it.

They shouldn't give it to him.

Once they know, they would be disgusted.

They would take all of it back.

He would be alone again.

They would hate him.

They would know, that he wasn't a saint. He wasn't there to make their lives better but to make it worse. He had bloodied, sinned from the first day he breathed.

He doesn't deserve all this-

He rushed into the toilet and lurched, gagging and coughing as he heaved. It hurts. A warm hand patted his back gently, smoothing as another pulled his hair back lightly. Go away.

He could barely register the gentle voice, comforting him, telling him that he'll be alright. He slumped down as he coughed, calming down. He blinked at Nana, the smile gentle as she handed him a tissue and a bottle of water.

Wordlessly, he took it with shaky hands and wiped his lips, downing the bottle, water smoothing his parched throat and washing away the foul taste.

"Thank you.." He croaked out. Nana hummed, his head with a motherly look. "Let's get you back to bed, hm?" He nodded and let himself being pulled up. While he would usually put up a front, he didn't have the energy at that moment. He was still shaken from his dreams, tired from his fever, lethargic from the medicine he had taken.

He was tired.

Nana tucked him into the bed, and he let her. She stayed even as he had settled, still his head. She was humming a lullaby under her breath, he realized.

He stared at her, eyes half lidded.

"Why?" He murmured. Nana tilted her head. "'Why'?" 

"Why.. Are you doing all this even when I hurt everyone?"

Nana smiled. "Because you deserve it, Reborn-chan."

"But I'm a sinner..."

"Even sinner deserves love. It's not a sin to love, and to have love." 

Reborn said nothing but he did smiled slightly. He had said nothing about love, and Nana had saw it all. He closed his eyes and let the warmth from another person and the melody to lull him to sleep. He let his guard down for the woman, for her unconditional love and kind heart.

"Thank you."

                                                                                                                                                                                    

A/N= Reborn is now physically a teenager. A bit weird, but it's okay. I just want some Reborn and Nana's interaction, basically.

[I apologize for any grammar, spelling, etc. etc. mistakes]

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