Christina was, and still is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. She’s also a high school counselor so she helps me sometimes with odd problems. She knows about what my dad has done and still loves him, but she doesn’t know about my half brother, I’m pretty sure at least. 

Now, since I’ve grown to get use to being far apart from him, problems have happened. On their wedding, I was suppose to be a brides mate, had the dress and everything. Well, two weeks before I was suppose to go, he threatened my mom.. 

It.. made me feel odd. 

At first I brushed it off but then when I realized he was serious.. I got scared. He was never violent towards people like that and it made me think, “Am I really happy when I’m with him?”

It took me a while to get the question out of my head, and when I did, another incident happened. I was suppose to go down for Spring break this year, but no. He thought it was a week AFTER my break was official. So after another argument between my mom and James, he wanted me to come down the time he took off work instead of coming down on the actual break time. 

Hell no. 

I am not wasting my time with a man who chooses work over his own ing child. 

Then the question popped back into my head, ““Am I really happy when I’m with him?””

I.. At some points I am, but I’ve grown distant to him, hardly see him, maybe once or twice a year. Never calls or answered my messages. Just.. it makes me feel, unwanted. More recently, I’ve just realized something. 

All my problems, my grades failing, my anxiety and emotions have been.. changing because of something.  (besides hormones)  

My dad. 

What.. what do I? I learned this last week on the twenty-third of May and it’s still not out of my head and I just.. 

What do I do?