Preferably read it while watch OngNiel moments on Produce 101 season 2

Sweet as crème pâtissière ー the way he smile 
Crisp as puff pastry ー the sound of his low crisp voice, pleasure for every ears who ever heard it 
Sparkilng like confectioners' sugar ー the existence of himself 

Ever since that pink-haired guy enter the pyramidal podium, I can't take my eyes off him, not to mention his friends that chat enthusiasticly loud are sure noisy - sure not negatively thanked to them the atmosphere has warmed a bit -.

NO

I don't intend to befriend with anyone here, just go along with myself like I always do. Remember the main reason you joined this program. You supposed to debut just like the two Fantagio's flowers Yoo Jung and Do Yeon did. Don't ever shame your agency's name, Ong Seong Woo. Keep focus! 

Honestly not that I can't befriend with anyone, just... 
I can't normaly be friend with boys, the way they just casually bro-hug you -or choked tbh-, the way they normally takes off shirt in front of you -and yeah even pants-, and the way they just suddenly slap your out of nothing like ???, and other 'normal' things that friends-bro- do. I just can't. 
Impossible to not have one or two feels because of those acts or even how should I react towards that kind of acts? 
Flustered and blush? Seems very wrong - not if I am that typical cute short girl - but unfortunately I'm just a 5'10 ft man. But towards that kind of gestures, I just can't help to...

Fall in love 

Weird? Very, I'm totally aware that this feeling indeed weird. I can't do anything about that. I'm perfectly fine with girls though, no romantic feels towards them. Because whenever I'm with girls there are some unspoken rules that keep a distance with them. I can't touch them casually - ual harassment they said -. 

In short, let's just keep business-relationship with all the boys here. 

．．．

The first evaluation, my doomsday 
The day he - the pinkhaired boy - just move up from B class rank to A class rank. 
Again, with that sweet - very sweet - smile he greet me as soon he opened the A class room's door. 
I purposely just ignored him and keep my head down, too obvious even for him that I can see a slight disappointed face on him - clutched my long lost heart - I swear even his disappointed face is attractive. 

And the he sit beside little Woojin who has entered first, yeah look that super touchy gestures. How can they be a best friend already, huh? And even grab hands soooo tightly. I wish I was Woojin. 

When I recieved my evaluation paper, I can't help recognize his gaze, he didn't even clap his hand like the others do. 

He just gaze at me deeply

He and Woojin keep their hand tight as BoA sunbaenim announced that we are the center grouo of Nayana's song. I keep unconsciously stares at them - longingly -. 

The first center's election... 
He is the first to go on stage - he didn't even memorized his own lyrics tho - 
Ah, just him standing still on the stage is already pleasure to my eyes, I didn't even get a single word he rap. 

Can't you believe it, I even have the same position on Nayana's dance with him, cursed my height which is similar as him. His pink hair is just too impossible not too look and then his smile... I can see a glimpse of him on the edge of my right eye. 

．．．

Isn't it too obvious I even make a 'yes' gesture when Minhyun call my name to join his Sorry Sorry team. I even repeatedly chanted my name inside my head after he picked that pink-haired boy first. 
But then I keep cursing my stupid self, yeay I'm on the same team with him but yeay my heart. This is definitely bad for my heart. 

I try to make distance as far as I can for him while I sit, but it's just turn out he sit in front of me, I can't help it but tense af. He keep stares at me as I'm speaking, I bet my ears are as red as boiling crab right now. I tried to avoid his eye contact the best I can, but why he just repeatedly looking at me. He even recommended me to be a center - more importantly he just suddenly say my name out of blue -. FINE I'LL JUST THROW SOME JOKE FROM IT 

And he unexpectedly like it very much, he grin from ear to ear, and I swear - sure I swear a lot - he is very super ultra real cute like a samoyed, and the fact I don't care anymore what kind of face I have right now. 

I thought I made some progress

That pink-haired guy - which the colour has faded away and now just a plain blonde -'s rank keep went up like a rocket, he got 5th at the first elimination. And guess what? My name called just right after him, exactly after the big screen just show my face - actually the other three faces too - and he acted super surprised yet silly almost make him fell off his chair, so stupid - yet cute -. Then I must sit beside him which is so unbearable, I wonder until when my heart can take it.

．．．

The position evaluation
I wonder why that boy's lips looks extremely red - tempting - during the position pick, in my whole focus to him. And I thanked God for my continuously luck to be in a one team with him. But really with that burning red lips, I think I can't even hang on myself today. 

This team have too many pressure because of the members, yeah I could sense Park Woojin is indeed little depressed, so I start the conversation and cheer him a bit. Then I asked who want to be leader of this team. Without hesitation that Samoyed boy volunteered himself, and thanks to my blank mind I immediately reply him with 'I like Daniel'... Stupid self, I want to burry myself deep under the Han River right now. Now I have to find any reasons to cover my unconscious confession, hope everyone buys it. 

I can't lose any more focus so I decide talk to him about his lips being extraordinary red today, He look shocked and brush his lips with his barehand immediately, that made his lips bleeding a little. It seems hurt, and I can't stop think about it because I feel guilty. But at least our practice went smoothly. 

In the scoring board where all the nervous and pressure attacks us, even this happy puppy felt it. He looks very nervous - and when he is, he becomes ultra touchy - He touch my thigh and silently asked to grab hand. Me? Me just don't even know anymore which I more nervous at. The scoring board or his presence. This is torturing me. 

．．．

At the concept evaluation, that sunshine'e smile trainee looks very down. They said netizens accused him cheating during this concept's vote. Like? Do you even believe that pure looks? Cheating? And even forced him ti apologize? Come on I 100% sure he didn't do anything harmful, look at him face now so confused, dark and sad. I just want to pats him in head right now, I don't care what concept I get. 

What I care right now is only to bring that pupper smile back, even I must embarrassed myself in front of everyone - yeah exactly that punch machine thingy at least I can sleep well after see him laugh too much - 

The second elimination that as always thrilling like a haunted house, which you can't guess when the ghost appears like your name appears on that big screen at the elimination room. As expected his rank drop a bit at 8th, super sad I hope I can give him my votes so he won't drop. 

And yet miracles keep happens to myself, didn't expect my name being called again just aftee him. I'm so speechless and happy really, really, really, very, daebak, real, OMG, perfectly thank God! 

Ah, talk about concept evaluation, too bad I didn't get the same team with him again. But thanks to him I finally made a lot of friends here. He easily made friends just like a puppy, and his friends starts to befriend with me. Yeah I bet I looks pathetic because I tried very hard to befriend with them, but I think I found my new talent - which is comedian I mean being funny-. 

It's the third elimination and turned out my rank went down again. I distracted too much that I keep forget what my reason being here. If I dropped once again I... I can't even think about it, next elimination and I'm done for. I just need to focus, but why he keep bothering me and my mind. 
Anyway the handsome boy that keep stealing my focus become rank 1 today. Nah, he always been no.1 in my heart since the pink-haired day... 

I really want to be one of the 11 debut member

The final day - debut evaluation, and yes I've been on the same team again with him, but I've make my mind to only focus on this final evaluation. I want to debut. Please heart bear with it for a few more moment. During the practice days it's feel like about to explode, his gaze on me getting stronger and he even being extra touchy with me. Fortunately I can avoid it all with being extra funny - actually it's extra tiring but at least can hide my flustered heart - 

And now all of the time, just a few minutes right before the 'Hands on Me' stage, he suddenly pull me to a quieter place. And give me a weird looking choker... 

"I don't want anyone lay hands or or even an eye on you, Hyung" 

Pardon? I just look at him, confused. What am I he thinking, huh? A dog? He suddenly put that choker on my neck while whispering softly onto my ear 

"If we can make it together today, I want you to be mine, Hyung" 

He kissed my left cheek tenderly, and he just left the frozen me and preparing the stage

BOOM
- YEAH EXACTLY THAT MY HEART EXPLODED - 

JUST RIGHT BEFORE PERFORMANCE!
If I ever in my life exposed by gamma radiaton I bet I would turn to be A ING PINK HULK right now. 

Is he even gay? Or he just aware that I am gay? 

Just when I sincerely wanted to only be his bestfriend. What should I do? 

Can I be happy? 

I don't know how it's all ended, I must be blanked out, hope I didn't make any mistake... the debut elimination I can't even hear any single word from BoA Sunbaenim... When I looks around it's been 5 people on the debut seat, I don't even realized... 

Fantagio's Ong Seong Woo 

All the boys hugs me and I can't give other react than widely open my mouth. The puppy that give me heart attack earlier give me a tight hug 

Please wait for me, Hyung

Hot, my ears become super red I bet, what kind of happiness that God grants for me, I couldn't ask for more... 

MMO's trainee Kang Daniel 

No. 1 suited him a lot, both in my heart or even here on that top crown seat. For the very moment I lay my eyes on you. Even I repeatedly denied the fact that I already deeply fall in love with your smile, voice and presence... We made it together! He skipped toward me, hug me and whisper with his profound thick Busan's accent 

Hyung, I love you 

．．．

ㅎㅎ