She has been waiting for this. Years ago this day seemed so far away but now here she is, with a buck of flowers and a nervous smile that wants to betray her. It’s been a long wait, years where her feelings were locked. She didn’t want to admit it, how could she? She has, almost, raised her. Yeri loved her, like an older sibling, nothing more, she was pretty sure. But she has to tell her, she has been trying to cover her feelings for a long time. 

She still remembers how she started growing feelings for Yeri. It was in the middle of Russian Roulette promotions. A car accident, which leaded Yeri to be in the hospital for a month and a half. She still remembers the call. How she ran her heart out to go and see Yeri and Seulgi. But for some kind of reason her nervousness rise when she thought of Yerim in a hospital bed, not being able to wake up. It broke her heart to see her like that. She took care of her, slept there several days. And it was in one of these nights when something make her heart tighter. ‘Sleep with me, unnie.’ She had mixed feelings when Yeri hugged her in that small bed. When she put her head in her neck, feeling how Yeri’s lips ghosted over her neck which make her feel hot. The next day was even worse. When she woke up she realized Yeri was all over her, literally, she was sleeping above her. And even though her heart was beating so fast she told herself that it was usual, because she didn’t expect Yeri to be sleeping like that. But she knew, it wasn’t for that. 

After some months she started to accept it. She accepted that she liked Yerim. She liked the way the younger behaved around her, the way she looked at her or how she wanted to sleep with her when it was freezing. But she made a mistake in those months, telling Seulgi about her feelings. Seulgi is her best friend, it was just normal to tell her what was going on in her head and heart those days. ‘I like Yerim.’ Seulgi looked at her with a frown, something that indicated she didn’t like what she heard. ‘She is eight years younger than you, Joohyun.’ At that time, she could only nod. She knew Yerim was younger than her. ‘It’s strange, she is a girl...’ Joohyun scoffed at Seulgi’s remark. ‘Do you want me to talk about your hooks up with Sooyoung? Isn’t she a girl too?’ Seulgi was blank. ‘How do you know?’ She laughed, how couldn’t she know. ‘You two can’t keep your hands to each other, not even in public places.’ Seulgi cleared . ‘That isn’t the point right now. Joohyun, you can’t tell her, she has always looked up to you, like if you were her older sister or something. Don’t you think it’ll be strange?’ Joohyun looked at her tea, untouched. She knew everybody would think is strange, the , the fact that they are both girls, the fact she has known Yeri since the younger was eleven years old. But Seulgi didn’t understand that it was strange for her too. These feelings confused her. She also asked herself the same question, why does she like Yeri? Why Yeri and no other person? Her head hurt when she thought too hard about those topics. 

It was in a cold December night when a hint of