To Jongin, D is for delicate.

He'd always pass the small, wide-eyed boy in the corridors of the school, their height difference always an interest for him. However, Jongin had observed the small boy to move with a sort of gracefulness that rivaled his own (Jongin was a dancer, a good one, he might add,) and it was almost like his footfalls had no sound. Jongin always found his eyes following the boy whenever he was in the vicinity, and he'd been aware of his nameless existence for a month when his friend Chanyeol decided to push him a bit.

"His name's Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo." Chanyeol said, half a smile forming on his face as he watched Jongin watch Kyungsoo.

"W-What?" Jongin stammered, tearing his eyes away from the small boy (whose name he had now finally learned).

"Kyungsoo. He's in my Advanced Physics class. Don't think I haven't noticed you staring for a month now. It was getting sort of ridiculous because you wouldn't even ask for his name."

Jongin half-nodded, Kyungsoo disappearing from the side of his vision.

Chanyeol raised an eyebrow. "I'm expecting you to do something about it."

Jongin wasn't listening. Chanyeol started to walk away from him, but he was still thinking about how he liked the name Kyungsoo.

To Jongin, D is for defiant.

He'd come in late for his Social Studies class (he'd stayed up late last night, learning new choreography and missed his alarm this morning), only to discover everyone was in pairs. He spotted Chanyeol sitting with a guy he knew as Baekhyun, and locked eyes with the former. The tall, large-eared boy smiled apologetically at him, but nodded in the direction of someone who was sitting alone. Jongin's gaze followed to Do Kyungsoo sitting near the windowsill.

"Mr. Kim, with Mr. Do, please. And next time don't be late." 

Mumbling an apology as he passed, Jongin slipped into the seat beside Kyungsoo. The smaller boy visibly glanced apprehensively at him, but Jongin didn't blame him. At first glance, he seemed to be indifferent and sometimes brusque, but today it was Jongin's goal to befriend him.

He smiled, "I'm Jongin.". A good start. He briefly wondered if Kyungsoo was actually his hyung.

Kyungsoo nodded, a bit shy. "Kyungsoo."

They settled into a (slightly) awkward silence when the teacher gave them their instructions.

(They were to write an essay on why same marriage was bad.)

Jongin wrinkled his nose. It was the 21st century, like that didn't matter anymore. He briefly wondered if his inner morals would make him to refuse to write this, but he decided it wasn't worth risking his grade. Kyungsoo, however, looked like he'd just swallowed milk that had gone bad.

Kyungsoo stared at Jongin pointedly, and although Jongin was a good four inches taller than him, he was freaked out by how serious his stare was.

"We're not writing that." Kyungsoo said.

Jongin gulped. "B-but, our--- our grade."he stammered. Damn, why was he suddenly so nervous?

"Because it's ing stupid and disrespectful, and respecting others comes before a grade. Practically half of the people in this class aren't straight, you know." he gave Jongin a meaningful glance.

Jongin nodded. Of course he knew that. He was one of them. (Although he didn't know, Kyungsoo was too.)

A brief, smug smile flashed on Kyungsoo's face. "Don't worry about your grade. I'll handle this."

(In the end, they both got failing grades as Kyungsoo had written an essay on why same marriage was perfectly acceptable and it was good to support people who had partners with the same gender. Jongin found he didn't mind, though, Kyungsoo had fought with their teacher and he found that cool. No one had stood up to that in years.)

To Jongin, D is for determined.

It'd been a few months since to what Jongin now referred to as The Essay of Do, and he was surprised the two of them became closer. It started from bumping to each other at the library and inviting each other to the library, to having lunch together in the cafetaria. They'd see each other around campus so often and they hung out more than enough times that Chanyeol was getting (slightly) annoyed at Jongin but proud of his best friend.

Finally, Jongin had the courage to ask out Kyungsoo if he wanted to hang out outside campus. He'd agreed, and they were standing by the entrance of an arcade, unsure what to do first.

Jongin spotted the basketball game far back. It was a high hoop held at an impossibly tall height, and he'd nudged the small boy and pointed toward it.

"Bet you dinner you can't get ten points on that game." he said teasingly.

Kyungsoo glared at him but his eyes sparkled with humour.

"It's a bet."

Jongin watched as Kyungsoo prepared a stance, carefully aiming at the hoop. With a small jump, the ball sailed through the air-- and missed the hoop.

Jongin let out a laugh, but Kyungsoo paid him no mind. He changed his stance a bit, then jumped again, throwing the ball with a bit more force. The tall boy was forced to shut up as the ball teetered on the edge of the hoop and fell in.

(Jongin ended up paying for dinner that night, Kyungsoo beaming throughout the night.)

To Jongin, D is for dreamlike.

They were finally going out.

It had taken Jongin some nerve (and a perpetually annoying, insistent Chanyeol) to officially ask Kyungsoo out, and after that, there was a second date, a third, and after the fourth, they'd agreed to call each other boyfriends.

Jongin was in a dream. Every moment spent with Kyungsoo reminded him of why he'd fallen for the small boy in the first place. Jongin was glad Kyungsoo was just the right height for him to place his head on the smaller boy's whenever he hugged him, Kyungsoo quickly becoming one of his favorite things to hug in the world. Jongin loved it whenever Kyungsoo's eyes crinkled when he laughed, the sound melodic to his ears. It was like each moment with him made time speed up, and he was left wishing for more. His breath quickened, the same nervousness he'd felt since the beginning always claiming Jongin, but in a good way. He loved everything that was Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo was everything. 

The first time he'd heard Kyungsoo sing, he was in awe. He was sure he'd heard an angel, and would never shut up telling Kyungsoo that. In quiet moments, he'd always ask the smaller boy to sing for him, Jongin getting wrapped up in his sweet honey voice. It was like a drug he couldn't get enough of.

(Kyungsoo fell slowly, but surely, and by the time he'd realised that, he knew he was absolutely ed.)

To Kyungsoo, D is for deceit.

He couldn't keep on going like this. It would be unfair to both him and Jongin. He'd held on for awhile, promising himself he'd do it tomorrow, the tomorrows' he'd accumulated over the months finally kicking him in the when the letter arrived.

He knew the letter would coming-- he wasn't just sure when. Now that it was, here, though, he read it quickly and put it away, finally forcing himself to make a decision.

(The letter said he had to move to America to find better treatment for his condition.)

(That night, Jongin was heartbroken.)

To Jongin, D is for devastated.

He'd graduated, and now he had a stable job. He wasn't seeing anybody, too wrapped up in rising the company ladder and healing his broken heart to pay attention to the countless blind dates Chanyeol (and his boyfriend, Baekhyun,) were setting up for him. It'd been a few years later, while he was on a business trip in New York, when he saw him again.

The years had changed both of them---of course, why wouldn't it? But Jongin was thrown back in time when he'd spotted the small, petite boy in the cafe window.

His height was more or less the same, and he was wearing clothes similar to what he'd worn back in college--as if he couldn't let go of the past and wanted it with him until now. However, Jongin noted Kyungsoo looked paler, and strikingly weaker, he was struggling to bring up the coffee cup to his lips.

As if feeling someone's eyes on him, Kyungsoo looked up and through the window--clearly seeing Jongin in shock on the other side of the glass.

Life went by around them, everything continuing as normal, unaware the two people's hearts were broken all over again on a sunny afternoon in New York.

Hi, Jongin.

Kyungsoo here.

I never thought I would see you again, especially after I got up and left Seoul. I saw the company name on the ID you clipped on your suit, and I searched up your email on their site. I think I owe you a short explanation, at the least.

I have inclusion body myositis, something that normally affects older people but in some twisted ing way, I now have. Had. For a very long time. My condition was rare (and serious) enough my father decided to send me to America for more treatment. If you saw how I struggled lifting a cup, I'm sure you guessed it isn't going well.

If you ask why I broke up with you, here's a probably stupid answer. 

I was scared, Jongin. Scared you'd stop loving me if I stopped being able to love you. I'm growing weaker everyday, and simple hugs can leave me tired from the effort and I can barely stan without help. You deserve more than a high maintenance man, because I know how much you love living your life with your freedom, something I love about you. I'd only drag you down.

Well, that's all I have to say. Enjoy your life, Jongin. Find someone. Be happy. You deserve that, at the very least. I'm really sorry.

To Jongin, D is for dangerous. Falling in love was dangerous.

To Jongin, D is for Do Kyungsoo.