Luhan entered the van with Sehun trailing behind him. They just landed in China – Beijing, specifically, for The Lost Planet tour. Their plane touched down an hour ago now they’re heading to the hotel. Both Sehun and him sat in the backseat where the other members graciously evacuated for them.

“Don’t you dare get handsy while I’m sitting here.” said Xiumin, glaring at the two boys who are cuddling at the backseat. There’s no more space left at the front so he’s the unlucky member who will share the backseat with Luhan and Sehun. He sat farthest away from the couple (which is approximately 12 inches apart since it’s a moderate size van).

Xiumin and the rest of the members know the hidden relationship status between them and that’s how far their coming out has gone. They never told the management, their parents, and the fans. Although they often speculate their actions toward each other but they just dismissed it as a form of fan service. There’s a reason why they never made a move of coming out to the public and it’s the same reason for every LGBT person in the world.

Fear.

It’s the fear of being shunned by the world, fear of feeling like a disappointment every single day, and fear of not being accepted. Gay rights aren’t exactly the ‘talk of the town’ in China and South Korea; it’s a taboo subject that people avoid talking about.

But the way Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Jongin, Kyungsoo, Suho, Yixing, Xiumin, Jongdae, Tao, and Yifan accepted them wholeheartedly they should at least think that the world would be the same. And that’s why they’re taking a big step in their relationship by coming out to Luhan’s parents.

The van came to halt and everyone started to pile out of the vehicle. They got their own hotel cards and picked a roommate.

“I suggest that you tone down your voices tonight. I reckon these walls aren’t soundproof enough to hold the noises.” Jongdae snickered as he walks past us towards his own shared room with Baekhyun.

“Then you should’ve brought earplugs then.” Luhan winks at him and pulled Sehun inside their room.

They started to unpack their luggage when Sehun speaks up, “That was embarrassing.”

Luhan hums while getting the toiletries out.”What was embarrassing?”

“The thing with Jongdae hyung earlier. “He said then looks down, feeling abashed.

Luhan laughs at his innocence. People honestly thought that Sehun has the upper hand in their relationship because according to them, Luhan is the ‘feminine’ one.

“We’ve been dating for two years now and you’re still embarrassed?” Sehun nods. “Well don’t be, we should at least be open to them.”

Luhan plays with Sehun’s chin to soothe him. It’s one of his many weird habits when it comes to his boyfriend.

“Are you going now?” Sehun asks softly, afraid of ruining the mood.

“Yeah, I’ll be out after unpacking the rest of our things,” Luhan says. “Don’t worry, my parents will accept us.” He lied for the sake of his boyfriend.

Luhan can’t speak on behalf of his parents, knowing how they can be pretty rough when it comes to their one and only boy. Ever since he arrived the legal age of 18, he was set up on multiple blind dates by his parents so he could settle down and have a child. It was not exactly ideal for an 18 year old.

Luhan puts on a positive front when he kisses Sehun goodbye. He starts to text his manager, promising to be home before rehearsal, on his way to the van.

The journey from the hotel to Luhan’s childhood home was short so it only took a few minutes before they pulled up to a familiar abode. The moment Luhan steps on the ‘WELCOME’ mat, he immediately wants to go back to Sehun’s arms and stay there forever.

“Han! What a pleasant surprise.” His father said when he spotted Luhan standing outside his office door.

“I called your secretary beforehand to inform you about my visitation.” Luhan said flatly. His father and him don’t exactly share a tight-knit bond because his father wants him to pursue business instead of entertainment. They eventually got over their feud when EXO became one of the biggest groups both in China and South Korea.

“You know I’m a busy man.” His father said dismissively.

“Busy enough to not make any time for your only son?” Luhan can’t help but to say. His father caught the tone of his son, “I don’t have any time for your issues, now, if you only visited me to lecture about family bonding then I suggest for you to leave. I still have a midnight flight to America for a business proposal.”

This is for Sehun and you. Luhan thought mentally as he took calming breathes before facing his father again.

“I have important news for you and mother, where is she?” Luhan inquired when he finally notices the lack of presence of the woman who gave birth to him.

“Your mother is out with her friends for a cup of tea and rounds of mahjong. Why don’t you tell your news and get this done and over with?”

“But she has to hear what I have to say in-”

“I’ll pass on whatever message you have.” His father cuts in and his lack of enthusiasm drives Luhan to the edge.

“I’m gay and in a happy relationship with Sehun.” Luhan finally says.

His father stopped whatever his doing and focuses his attention to his son. It should’ve made Luhan a little bit happy because he finally got his father’s attention solely on him but the look on his father’s face made him shrink back to his seat. The deafening silence was broken by his father.

“I thought it’s not possible for you to get any lower than you did by being an idol, I guess I was wrong.” His father laughed to himself. But it’s not merry laugh where it’s full of joy and positivity, no, this one is filled with mock and disbelief.

“This is possibly the most humiliating and disgraceful thing you ever committed. If I can dismiss your career choice then I will not let this one go. You dared to be in a relationship with a man and do other sinful things only the whole world will find disgusting!”

“Do you know what happens to people who commit the sin the same way you did? They are going straight to hell and while being there they reflect for the things they did. People will not accept both of you because it’s not normal.”

“I will not let you continue this abomination. I want you to end this madness you got yourself into and leave that forsaken group who probably infected you with this disease. Do that or else you can kiss your family and that group goodbye, Han. You know what I’m capable of doing.” His father stood up and immediately left the room with a loud bang.

The sound only seems to echo around Luhan’s shallow heart as he cried for the first time in forever.

• • •

The make-up artists start to fuss over Luhan, trying to find a solution to cover up his swollen eyes while the hairstylist started to make a miracle on his over-dyed hair.

Their manager already gave him an earful when he came back late, missing their rehearsals before the concert starts. Sehun – who he successfully avoided, is now looking at him with sad eyes.

Luhan’s heart can’t handle the sad aura surrounding Sehun’s face that seems to be burned at his mind. He shakes off that image before focusing on his last minute vocal practice with Jongdae, Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, and Suho.

“I’m really pumped for this night’s concert. I miss our cherries so much it gives me an adrenaline rush at the thought of performing in front of them again in a few minutes.” Chanyeol said beside Sehun who looks deep in thought.

“What’s wrong maknae? Pre-performance jitters?” Chanyeol jokes when he notices the lack of enthusiasm Sehun has.

“Something like that.” Sehun said absentmindedly, still too deep in thought of Luhan.

“Well you should shake it off because we’re going now.” The giant pulled Sehun towards the backstage where the rest are already standing.

“Okay guys, this is it.” Suho said, looking around the member’s excited faces – sans Sehun and Luhan. “1…2…3…EXO SARANGHAJA!” they all cheered before taking over the stage.

The concert that night was arguably the most depressing one because every member can feel the riff between Sehun and Luhan who hasn’t been in contact towards the duration of the concert. Everyone expects them to be all clingy like always but they looked like they’re avoiding each other like a plague.

Dinner came around and the members are still feeling iffy with the whole ordeal Sehun and Luhan puts up. They sat farthest away from each other and talks with everyone else but each other. Only when bedtime came that they were forced to talk because they’re roommates.

Luhan was just getting ready for bed when a pair of familiar noodle arms engulfs him for a hug. He hopes that he would be fast asleep before Sehun finishes in the bathroom but luck definitely wasn’t on his side today.

“Hyung…I’m sorry for whatever I did today.” Hot breath fanned at the back of his neck as Sehun continues to snuggle himself.

Luhan turns around to face him and forced a smile, “It was not your fault, Sehun-ah. Today wasn’t my day and it’s my fault for taking it out on you.”

“Then we should cuddle ‘till we fall asleep.” Sehun concluded then pulls Luhan to the direction of the bed and laid themselves.

As Sehun started to let out snores, an indication that he’s already fast asleep, Luhan tiptoes around the room and getting his luggage that he packed earlier. He kisses Sehun’s forehead one last time before exiting the room with the pain and fear consuming his heart and tears streaming down his face.

• • •

Sehun woke up with the sound of a fist pounding against the door. He straightened up and looks around the room, half-awake. He notices that Luhan is nowhere to be seen and he would normally panic but knowing the elder, he probably went out for a walk or a cup of coffee. With no one else to open the door for him, he begrudgingly went to it and opened it for the intruder who ruined his sleep.

The members: Tao, Suho, Yixing, Jongdae, Xiumin, Kyungsoo, Jongin, Baekhyun, and Chanyeol are standing outside with phones clutched on their hands and worry etched across their faces.

“Hyung, it’s still early. Why did you wake me up?” Sehun asks no one in particular.

“Sehun, you don’t know?” Kyungsoo asked him.

“Know what?” The members looks at each other anxiously before Suho spoke up,

“Luhan left.”