When I was eight years old, many of my friends were already starting to host birthday parties for their birthdays. Since my birthday was later in the school year, I was invited to birthday parties before I could hold my own. Every party I went to fascinated me; the balloons, the cake, the presents. It seemed like so much fun to host a birthday party! All the kids in my class were invited, and we had a blast celebrating our friend’s special day. As everyone in my class hosted their birthdays, I still had to wait. I unconsciously grew jealous of my friends who had already held parties, for I wanted to host my own so badly and couldn’t. I wanted my own fun, my own presents. I wanted people to come to my house to celebrate my birthday. When the day had finally rolled around, I was so excited I could barely keep from jumping up and down. The preparations had been made, the cake was baked, the balloons blown up, the candles ready to be lit. I expected this day to be so fantastic and fun. I thought it would be better than best day of my life.

At the party, we performed the activities, we ate the cake, and we lit the candles. My guests seemed delighted at the fact that I was finally getting a chance to celebrate my birthday. Even though my guests were happy and had fun, I felt horrible. I had a horrific time, filled up with not-fun fun-filled activities. All of the things that I had expected to be amazing .

The better than the best day of my life .

After my eighth birthday, I always got this feeling in my stomach when something that was supposed to be fun happened. Graduations, finals, first dates, first kisses, college; I tried not to expect too much from the important events, in case an episode like my eighth birthday occurred again.

This incident prevented me from getting my hopes up too high ever again. When my heart tells me that I should be excited for something, my mind tells me to play it cool and not get too hyped up. My body begins to argue with each other; kind of like the angel and the devil you see in cartoons floating above a character’s shoulders that are always bickering with each other. However, in the end of the quarrel in cartoons, the angel always overpowers the devil, thus, creating a happy ending for the person. This is not the case for me. My mind dictates my heart almost every time.

This is exactly what’s happening as I stand in line and anticipate the long-awaited “Next!” My stomach got plagued with that uncomfortable sensation again, and my body is contradicting itself. My mind is telling me to hold back, and not get too excited too fast, that I don’t want to have my heart broken and dreams crushed again. On the other side of the battlefield, my heart says to be excited, that this is a once in a lifetime chance! That it’s been eleven whole years since that incident with the birthday party. My head is such a huge mess in this important time. I have to stop this internal combat!

Stop arguing, you two! I’m sick of your quarreling!

“Why should we?” They argue back. “Why try to stop us? You’re arguing with yourself who’s arguing with yourself! There are three of you!”

And they just keep going on.

Oh, would you just SHUT U—

“Amy!” I respond immediately to the call of my name. My best friend, Tiffany, stands there looking at me with furrowed eyebrows. Even then, she is beautiful. Tiffany was one of those people who could roll out of bed and not put on makeup but look absolutely gorgeous. She was naturally pretty. She was 5”4’, with legs longer than a giraffe’s neck and toned like a ballet dancer’s. She was enviously skinny, but had hips that matched the rest of her body perfectly: not to curvy, but not stick straight. Her thick dark brown hair was pulled into a perfectly messy bun. Bangs framed her high cheekbones well. Flawless pink lips pouted to the perfect amount sat on her acne-free face. I sensed worry in her big, chocolate brown eyes. “You okay? I called your name, like, four times!”

“Sorry,” I mutter. “Didn’t notice.”

Is it really fair for someone to be that perfect? She had a picture-perfect frame, and a beautiful appearance. I felt hideous standing next to her. I was whopping 5”7’ with a torso longer than my legs (OK, it was only, like, an inch longer, but still). I couldn’t wear heels without being called a giant. I’m pretty sure I weighed at least 10 pounds more than she did, since I had to remember to in my tummy when I wore tight T-shirts. Two of my eyes could fit in one of hers, and my face broke out all the time. If I rolled out of bed and went to school with sweats and a giant sweater on, I would probably be called the ugly duckling. A huge bush of remarkably thick, dark brown, untamable hair sat upon my head, instead of the usual not too thick, luscious, pin straight, midnight black hair on most Asian people. I mean, seriously! How many Asians have dark brown hair? What is up with my genes?! My bangs hung lifelessly in my face, so I had to pull the annoying dead strands to the side every two freaking minutes. Why was she so stunning, when I was so repulsive? Couldn’t she have shared some of her prettiness with me when she was born?

But don’t get me wrong. I love Tiffy. She’s been my best friend since we were in 3^rd grade. Our personalities practically completed each other’s! My overly shy character was somewhat fixed with her help. I no longer freaked out when I was around new people. Independence replaced loneliness when I was by myself. Her outgoing personality and brutal honesty would have hurt countless people’s feelings if it weren’t for me to hold her back. Tiffany and I were really close, practically sisters.

“Don’t get so down,” she pipes, hooking her arm through mine. “We’ve been waiting for this moment for almost three months! Aren’t you excited? You're finally going to meet them!”

“Of course I’m excited!” I exclaim. “I can’t wait to see them!”

We continue to chatter about them for the rest of the while we’re in line, killing the time. Just like everyone else surrounding us, we cannot wait to see them. The four-hour wait has taken the toll on some people, since they started to leave when they saw the parking lot full of people anxious to get in when they had finally reached the parking lot at all. In the first hour, thousands of screaming fans lined up, pushing and shoving people in front of them. In the second hour, some people had started to get tired and left. In the third hour, only the fans remained. When the fourth hour finally rolled around, energy was starting to build up in the humid air around us, and all the weariness that had hit the people around the second hour had been lifted by some unknown magical aura. We could finally see the front of the line! Screams could finally be heard from inside the forbidden building. Moving forward slowly, Tiff was starting to get more and more excited. I had to remind her multiple times that if the spazzed too much, we would be kicked out. When the “Next!” that’s meant for me is called at last, I hurriedly fixed my hair, straighten my not too short short shorts, then hug my picture tight to my chest. I couldn’t stop the wide grin that spreads on my face. I’m smiling like a fool.

This is it! I’m finally going to meet them!

The lady in charge of yelling ‘next’ smiles at me, and makes a motion that signals me to follow her.

She strides quickly into the open doors, and disappears behind the wall that blocks everything inside the building from outside view. I follow closely behind. As I enter the Holy Building, my mind loses the internal battle.

Oh, screw it. I think. This is a once in a lifetime chance. If I get hurt, so be it. I’m just going to enjoy myself today!

As I approach the corner, Anxiety builds up along with its buddy Nervousness. But with those two come Excitement and Eagerness. Together, the four make a person spastic, and just a little bi-polar. I’m so excited! I’m finally going to get to meet them! This is the best day of my freaking life! But… what if they don’t like me? What if they think I’m ugly? Or weird? How in the world could people like thempossible like a person like me? I’ve never been good at giving first impressions, and with my extreme shyness with that, how will they ever even like me? But, I’m actually going to meet them! Haaaaaaaaaaaaa, this is sooooo great!

I make the corner, and turn to face what’s inside. What I set eyes on makes me hold my breath, and causes my heart to skip a beat.

I can see them.

My heart stops beating for what feels like an hour when they come into view. I can see them! With my own freaking eyes! They’re close enough to touch. Close enough to smell. Close enough to see. Close enough to hear. They’re close enough for me to feel like a tiny villager in their godly presence.

These gorgeous 13 men are sitting in a line at a long table just ten steps, max, away from me. The queasy feeling in my stomach has been lifted. My body stops fighting for just a second. The world around me doesn’t seem real. Everything disappears other than them. My heart stops, my breathing is irregular, and my palms are itching to just reach forward and just touch one of them. My throat clogs up, and I don’t know what to say.

They’re right in front of me.

Faint~

By now you’re probably wondering who they are.

Well, they’re 13 boys who have transformed into men over the last six years.  They’re all amazingly hot. They’re all so talented, and have so much potential. They’ve become very popular in the industry, so popular that they’re practically legends.

Who are they?

Super Junior. That’s who they ing are. Super. ing. Junior.

I’ll admit: I’m a hardcore ELF. I follow them on twitter, I buy their albums, and I have posters of them up on my wall. But all of this doesn’t matter anymore as I cautiously take a step forward, towards them. In this moment, it doesn’t matter if you’re an ELF, or just a random girl who has never heard of Super Junior before in your life. Hot guys are sitting in a line at a table, waiting for you to approach them. ELF or not, any straight girl will go to them. Heck, any person with a reasonable amount of sense will go.

I’m too shy to actually look up, so I keep my gaze glued to the carpeted floor as I stumble towards the Gods of the East.

When a reach the table, I look up just a little bit. My eyes see an adorable man smiling and looking up at me. His eyes are crinkled by his smile, and a cute dimple has formed on his cheek. Leeteuk,

I think I just died.

“Annyeong!” he chirps, smiling even wider.

“A-Annyeong,” I stutter. I am unable to break my stare at his beautiful face. My hands set the picture I’ve been clutching shakily on the table, and I nudge it towards him.

“And who might you be?” he asks while uncapping his sharpie and pulling the black framed photo closer so he can reach it.

“A-Amy,” I say. “Amy Lee.”

He sets the tip of the sharpie down on the paper, and scrawls his signature on it, with a little message. Remind me to read that later.

“OK, Amy! Here you go! Move right on down the line!” He smiles at me again, and I have to lock my knees to prevent them from buckling under me.

“Komowo!”

I move on to Heechul. We exchange words; he laughs at my nervousness, and signs my picture, also leaving a little message.

As I move down the rest of the line, I become a little less clammy and start to actually talk with the members. Each one of them asks something new about me, and signs my picture with a little message. I lose some of my nervousness and start to forget that the members are famous people, and just regular hot guys.

When I reach my bias, Eunhyuk, he is chatting with Donghae and Siwon. They’re giggling together like middle school girls.

EunSiHae!!! My brain screams. I almost start flat out spazzing right in front of my bias.

As I step in front of him, he stops talking and looks at me. Oh, dear Shisus his eyes. They’re so beautiful and the brown color of his irises are so rich. At this moment, I am no longer afraid, for I have just met the incredible Lee Hyukjae. I feel unbelievably bouncy and animated right now.

“Why, HELLO THERE!” he says with a dorky grin, while leaning toward me on the table with his hands clasped in front of him. “And how are you doing today, miss?”

“Why, I’m fine and dandy, thank you for asking! Did you know that you’re my bias here in this good ole world of Super Junior?” I reply with a wide smile.

“Really? Miss, you have good taste in biases, I must say.” He winks. “I am flattered to hear that I am your favorite in this group of handsome men. Can I do something special, just for you, my Jewel?”

I almost faint after hearing his sentence. An idea pops into my head immediately and I blurt it out without even thinking.

“C-can you dance for me?” I request. Right as the sentence slipped from the cage of my mouth, I almost bite my tongue for asking such a ridiculous question. Eunhyuk, one of the best dancers in all of South Korea, dancing on request of one little girl? Psht. Yeah right, like that’s actually going to happen in this lifetime. The feeling in my stomach returns and I feel utterly stupid for asking such for such a thing. Why did I even ask the freaking question?! Damn me and my loud mouth.

However, his response surprises me. He looks up into my eyes from his position, tips an imaginary hat, straightens up, and says, “Why, I’d love to, miss. Anything for the pretty lady.”

And with that, my ultimate bias pushes out his chair, jumps up on the table, and starts dancing to “Sorry Sorry.”

My life is complete.

The other members, seeing what he’s doing, also hop up on the table and start dancing. Somewhere along the way, they begin to sing along to the song, and an entire performance is completed; all the way from “sorry sorry” to “sorrehhhhhhh~”

As they finish, I laugh and clap for the amazing event that just occurred in front of my own eyes. The amount of energy I have to spend to restrict myself from cheering and screaming is indescribable.  

I bow, and attempt to conceal the true inner fangirl from freaking out like she really wants to. “Thank you so much for that!”

Eunhyuk laughs and hops down. He grabs his sharpie and signs, also leaving a little message. “No, thank you for being straight-forward about what you wanted. Performing for fans is so much fun, and we don’t really get to do it unless it is requested. Thanks for giving us the joy of performing today.” OK, that just gave me a major confidence boost.

As he slides me my picture, he reaches out his hand. “Great to meet you, miss.”

I giggle and grasp his hand, shaking it. “The pleasure is all mine.” When I let go, he passes something to me from the hand I was shaking; a hidden piece of paper? He winks, and sits back down. I blush, secretly tucking the piece of folded paper in my sweater pocket.

I keep moving down the line, making small talk with the members. As the end of the table comes closer and closer to me, I start feeling a tad obsessed again. I don’t feel like leaving them yet! I just had such a great time with Super Junior and now I have to go back home and live a normal life? It’s not possible! I don’t want to leave these precious boys!

I am slightly devastated when Kibum finishes signing my picture, and I go to Kyuhyun for my final signature.

“Komowo, Kibum oppa,” I thank Kibum. Bowing slightly, I move on to the last SuJu member in line.

“Annyeong, oppa!” I greet Kyuhyun. He is looking over at Sungmin for something, but once I say hello, he turns his head to me.

Our eyes meet. My heart stops, and I in a sharp breath. I see him gasp as well.

This time, not only the rest of the world disappears other than Super Junior. When I looked at Kyu, the rest of Super Junior even disappeared. It seemed like we were the only two people in the world right now, and even though I don’t exactly know the guy, I feel like we’ve been best friends for all of my life. I feel like I know him more than anyone else on this planet, as if he were written on plain paper, and as easy to read as a picture book. I feel as if he knew everything there was to know about me; my personality, my problems, my habits, things I’m actually good at, everything. Something connected between us; something inside my heart was completed. Almost like he was the missing piece to my nearly finished puzzle. Like he was the last ingredient to a cake. Like he was the missing sock I couldn’t find. It wasn’t exactly a peanut butter to jelly situation, where you know what you’re looking for exactly. He randomly popped up and it just happened to be that he was what I was unconsciously searching for. My heart feels like it’s about to jump out of my body by the way it was pounding so hard and so fast. My entire body felt like it was melting under the gaze of his rich, gorgeous chocolate brown eyes.

You know in those cheesy romantic films, where a boy and girl fall in love at first sight? No one ever believes that that’s actually going to happen since it’s only in fairytales and fictional stories. But everyone has this tiny speck of hope in their hearts that one day, it just maybe might somehow miraculously become reality for them. That they’ll be at a party, and their eyes will just happen to catch one other person looking at them from across the room. They will fall in love at first sight, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after.

Yeah, you know what I’m talking about now? Well guess what: I don’t believe in that love at first sight crap. It only happens in fairytales, and anyone who believes that it’ll somehow happen to them is either desperate, paranoid, or just plain stupid. Love at first sight is supposed to happen between two soul mates. Two people in this world are supposed to be perfect for each other. How the hell do you know that your soul mate even lives near you? What if they live in a different country, or on a different continent for that matter? What if they speak a different language? Who says they’re even alive when you’re alive? How coincidental does it have to get for two people who love each other without even saying hello to meet? I’ve always thought of it as a ridiculous child’s dream, something that only happens to two people out of a billion.

Well, I think it just happened to me. Crazy, I know, but seriously. I think I’m in love with the guy, and I don’t even know what he’s like! Well, I know his personality on stage, but who says that it’s his actual character? Idols put up images on stage! An idol you thought you knew through and through might be nothing like what you imagined him to be.

But this feeling – it’s undeniable. This is definitely love, in one form or another.

“H-Hi,” I stutter out without once breaking eye contact with him.

“H-hello,” he replies. He seems embarrassed, since he switched his gaze to the plastic white table in front of him and lifts his hand to scratch the back of his head. His entire face seems flushed, a deep red creeping up his neck.

I look at the floor too, suddenly unsure of myself. What should I do now?

Deciding that getting what I actually came for was the best thing to do, I placed the picture frame on the table in front of him. After placing it down, I realized that it wasn’t the right thing to do. My hands are now empty, so I don’t know exactly what to do with them. As a last resort solution, I intertwine my fingers together, and start playing with my thumbs, twirling them in a circle around each other. I am still staring at the floor.

I looked up at the same time he did. Our eyes met again, and I immediately looked away, blushing.

He cleared his throat and coughed. Taking this as a signal to relax, I straightened up and tried to force the pink off of my cheeks.

Kyuhyun reached for his sharpie, but fumbled and dropped it on the ground instead. As an instinct, I bent down to me knees to started looking for the marker under the table. But when I lifted up the tablecloth, I found my face inches away from his, obviously also searching for his marker. I instantly look away from his face, blushing even redder than I did before. Stuttering random nonsense, I back out from under the table, but accidentally bump my head hard on the table. As a result, I fell forward.

And you know what happened? I fell on him. I landed right on his chest, so my hands were on his chest to break my fall. I was in a “damsel in distress” position, sitting mermaid style leaning on a hot guy. Does this meeting get any more awkward?

I got off of him as soon as possible, and crawl out from under the table, straightening my clothes and clearing my throat. Kyuhyun popped up a couple seconds after me with a red face. Sharpie in hand, he quickly signed my picture and handed it back to me.

As I received the frame, I bowed. “Mianhe, oppa! Komawo!”

“A-ani,” he replied. “It’s alright.”

When I straightened up from my bow, I noticed something. Every one of the members is staring at us, deadly silent, with a creeper smile on their face. It was like everyone had a mental evil laugh going on.

I turned my attention back to Kyu, and smile, trying to break the tension.

We exchanged a few more words, and I somehow get yet another folded note from a Super Junior member.

Right as I’m about to leave the Holy Building, I turned back. The members are still staring at me. Good, I have their attention.

“Thank you very very much for this time!” I said. “It was an honor to meet you all! Komawo!” I bowed again, and heard chuckles from the members.

“No, no, it was an honor for us to meet you,” Leeteuk said. “Thank you for brightening our day.”

Holy mother of the above, did Super Junior just thank me? Me, an ordinary girl? Oh my god, this is the best day of my life~<3

I thank them again, and turn around. Walking out the door, I started humming in a cheerful mood, “Life couldn’t get better, HEY!”

I’m so glad I decided to enjoy myself instead of being nervous and holding back(: