He downs the shot without taking a breath, letting the burn of the liquor travel down his throat, scalding his chest. It was not enough to overshadow the pain in his heart. So he poured another one, filling the cup to the brim all the while grimacing as the alcohol simmered deep in his belly.

"Drinking never solves the problem," his friend said sitting next to him and making a move to still his hand when he tried to down another shot.

He shook his hand off and muttered, "No it never does, but it sure helps drown it somewhat." He gulped down the shot, signaling the bartender for another.

"Hey, how long have you been at it? C'mon, let me drop you off."

"Sh*t, man. I barely got started; I'm still coherent, aren't I?"

"At least let's eat something. You know you'll end up sick as a dog drinking on an empty stomach." His friend gave an order for small plates of snacks. "Talk to me."

"Nothing to say. I left."

"Ah, sh*t, man. You did?"

His silence spoke volumes.

This is serious; his friend knew it would have to be for him to up and leave. It was way out of character for him.

"I'm willing to fight but only for what is mine." The voice that uttered them were embittered, laced with sadness that cut deep. "She wasn't. Mine." He chugged another shot.

He was at a loss for words. He heard but could not believe it. He knew her well too, quite enough, after these two had been together, inseparable since the beginning. To suddenly change....his mind could not come up with any legitimate reasons.

"What brought this on?"

"I should've known it was too good to be true. But I refused to listen. She warned me. Countless times, she warned me." He took a shuddering breath, rubbing tiredly at his temples.

He kept quiet, letting his friend find his pace in telling his story. He felt like shaking him; he knew what these two have...what they had. To just give it up was unfathomable.

"She explained?" he ventured a question when the silence stretched; his friend just sat staring at his cup, lost in its shallow depths.

"Same old sh*t for reasons. If she really loved me half as much as she said she did..." he found he couldn't finish. The words burned harder in his throat than the liquor he held in his hands.

.

They've been fighting. Neither one giving in this time around.

"This is not what I want for us."

"But this is the reality. Don't be absurd. What makes you think we could continue hiding?" Her lips were white, so set were they in a grim line. She won't cry, no, not in front of him. Not this time.

"We can wait it out, just as we had before--"

"It's way beyond waiting, can't you see? We've paid countless times. How much more will they bleed us?"

"It's not beyond our control, not yet." He grasped her shoulders, willing her to see reason, his reason.

"I'm scared for you, for me. How can we go on like this?"

"Together. Don't let them win."

"They already have! Don't you see? We’ve lost so much. There's still talk of more leaking out."

"It doesn't matter. I told you before, we can just leave."

"But that is unrealistic. What about our families? We need time to think things through. Lie low for a while. Until things calm down--"

"Just like that, you're going to cave?" He dropped his arms from her shoulder; his voice a mere whisper.

He never yelled, no never at her. But he gets quiet..quieter..when he is most upset.

He is so very quiet now.

Her lips trembled, sensing they are at a crossroad; this junction in their relationship depends on a decision she wished they need not make.

His hands were balled in fists as he faced her. She could reach out and touch him, easily bridging this gap between them. But she didn't. She couldn't. She let her fears and stubbornness take control.

He stood just a breath away, but the distance between them felt oceans apart. And looking at her resolute face, he couldn't take it anymore and let his pain take over.

"You decided for me too. Just like that."

"What else can I do?"

"Fight for us, damn it to hell!"

"And then what? Both of us dragged through the mire, for what?'

His sharp intake of breath silenced her.

"You're right. For what? For nothing." He turned and left, slamming the door.

His head pounds to remind him of the excesses of last night. His stomach felt raw, recalling the evening he spent heaving until he was spent dry. He barely remembers getting home, his friend dragging him back to his apartment after he was too drunk to offer any resistance.

He was never a big drinker; his tolerance has improved somewhat but he is still "green." Last night was the longest he has ever kept himself soused before losing consciousness.

He reached for the bottle of water on the bedside, keeping his eyes closed after the glare of sunlight from his windows felt like tiny stabs of knife in his brain. But this…even this was tolerable than the pain he has in his heart.

A wave of dizziness threaten to overtake him as memories flood him again now that he is fully awake.

.

.

He hid himself away from the public, renting a house by the beach where nobody would know where he was. He pleaded exhaustion after completing multiple projects one after the other; the statements he released to the media claimed a much needed breather before his next project starts in the fall. It afforded him time to get away, to gather himself together.

After all that, the media was relatively quiet. A passing mention, a hint of a rumor was all that it alluded to.

All for nothing, he grimaced, as he stood drinking his coffee.

It has been weeks; soon his self imposed hiatus will end. His pride kept him from reaching out when no expose surfaced. He learned to swallow his pain like a bitter pill each day, until it has become an ever constant presence, one he has come to expect with each waking hour.

It has turned chilly, the wind ruffling his shirt, his hair, as he stood watching the waves crash onto the shore. Even this place reminds him of her, though she's never been here. The salty sprays from the ocean reminds him of the taste of her lips, when they once shared a kiss on the beach. The soft sand on his feet recalls her footprints as she walked the distance to him rather than away.

The wind stung his eyes, making them water. So he claims. It's enough to drive a man to drink, as he walked the lonely path back to his cabin.

.

.

He was busy piling stacks of wood, the forecast of a heavy storm imminent. It hardly ever stormed around this time but he had enough sense still to prepare. His cabin is set behind the eastern mountain ranges giving him a natural barrier from harsh elements. But he saw to it that he is set in case the storm did make landfall. Enough chopped wood for the fireplace line the side of the cabin, all bundled and secured, and he has gathered enough food and other supplies to last him another month.

He thought of the call from his mother worrying about him, as always.

"Come home," she had said. "You were planning on coming home in two weeks anyway. A couple weeks early shouldn't matter."

He had assured her he's fine. Yes, he's eating; no, he hasn't lost weight; yes, he's stocked up. He had told her he even got a generator hooked up in case the power goes down.

"I'm fine, mother."

"Please stay sober, darling. Please?"

It hurt him to hear the plea in her voice.

This was supposed to be just us, no other casualties, he reflected, when thoughts of her came unbidden yet again, torturing his mind. Instead the ripples caused by their implosion affected just as many others. His family, hers. It travelled like a sonic boom, unseen but the reverberating force lethal, paralyzing just the same.

"I've stopped drinking weeks ago, mother."

He was being truthful. She heard it in his voice, setting her heart at ease at least for a bit.

Those first few days after the breakup drove him crazy; the oblivion he sought was so easily gotten from the bottle. He indulged it, for a while. Until his good sense shook him to stop and take stock.

So he chose instead to run away, to nurse his wounds without the pitying eyes of people who knew. He is not done fighting his demons, no. But he no longer has to arm himself with the bottle.

And the storm came.

The wind rattled and howled, shaking the slats covering the windows. The rain poured in sheets, its loud splatters on the roof a cacophony of noise, drowning even the most persistent clamor of his thoughts.

Lights flickered several times, until finally succumbing tiredly to the storm. He waited for the telltale hum of the generator catching but there was nothing. He debated whether to wait it out till the storm subsides, but then roused himself from the chair.

No telling when this will last. Might as fix it early, so he thought. With a sigh he took a flashlight and made his way out to the back. The lean-to shed housing the generator is intact and dry. He however was soaked to the bone. Careful not to touch anything but the safety, he flipped the switch once, twice until he was rewarded with the familiar thrumming noise of the machine filling the room.

The rain is pouring much less heavily, letting him now see several feet ahead of him. He stopped when he saw a silhouette of a car parked next to his.

She is standing by his door, unaware he stood mere feet away. The rain masked his approach; she stood knocking. Waiting. Still.

The slope of her shoulders told him so much. The profile of her downcast face, her expression--all these he could still read so very well. So sad, so very dejected.

Why now, just when I thought I can go on without you?

As if hearing his thoughts she turned to meet his gaze, her eyes widening for the briefest moment in surprise.

The rain surprisingly slowed to a slow steady shower. The dark skies lightening to grey to give a brief respite.

"This isn't the right weather to go roaming." His voice is calm, though he was anything but. They both stood soaked from the rain, yet unmindful of anything but the person in front of them.

"Maybe I got lost? It's quite off the beaten path." She is shivering, just from the chill, she thinks.

"Are you? Lost, that is." He stands irresolute. Eyes starved at the sight of her.

"I am. I have been for a while." Her step, small. Hesitant.

"And? Do you think you'll find your way, find yourself here?"

"I'm hoping to find the only one who can find me."

"But I was careless. I've lost her too... Haven't I?" He took an answering step. He was close enough to see raindrops gathered on her lashes, to see the breath misting from her lips when she spoke.

"Just misplaced perhaps. But no, never lost." She met his gaze, unwavering, letting him see.

"I’m lost too…I'm sorry..." his voice catches. Time stretching the distance between them.

"I--"

But she could not go on. The realization dawned on her that he might not want her back took her breath away.

This time it was her tears that poured down her face, not the rain.

I’m too late, she thought sadly, giving him a sad smile before turning away.

"Will you leave me again, before you have even fully found me?"

She stopped in her tracks and turned to face him again. The rain in his eyes emboldened her. Her voice trembled in her need to be heard.

"I should have fought for us. I should have been braver. If I were given a chance to do things over, I will choose us. I will choose you. Because living without you can hardly be called living. Not when my heart feels like it's constantly dying, not when each breath feels like I'm drowning.... I love you. I love you more than life itself."

She stood her breaths coming in gasps, willing him to say anything, something before she falls further apart.

Instead he stared. He stared as if memorizing the shape of her face, his eyes full of hunger. He took those last few steps and caught her lips with a kiss so heated, so searing the air around them felt scorched.

"I love you," he finally breathed out. "I’ve never stopped loving you. There was never a day I didn’t miss you. Please…I can’t lose you again. I won't survive it."

"You won't. Never. Don't ever let me go." Their tears mingling as he kissed her over and over and over again.

The heavens opened up once more to wash away past hurt, past mistakes.

They stood arms tight around each other with no intention of letting go and let the rain pour down on them.

A cleansing. A blessing. A new beginning.

A/N: 

Blame Park Hyo-Shin's song. :p  ...and yes there's cheesy lines ;D