Seulgi has been rolling in her bed, shifting from position to position, removing pillows and bringing them back again, but nothing works and she just can’t seem to fall asleep completely. Her mind goes overdrive every time she closes her eyes no matter how hard she begs her inconveniently active brain to just take a break.

 

Insomnia is a . Seulgi, being friends with the disorder for too long, knows that very much.

 

That’s it, Seulgi finally stands up and changes into a pair of leggings and a yellow bear hoodie.

 

“Where are you going?” Wendy, Seulgi’s radio DJ roommate, asks when she comes out of her room a while later, looking like she’s going out at an untimely hour. Wendy is still reading and making corrections on her script for her radio program. “It’s early. Why aren’t you asleep?”

 

“Why aren’t you?” Seulgi counters, tying her shoelaces. “I’m gonna go for a run.”

 

Wendy looks at her quizzically, “A run? At this time? Are you crazy?”

 

“I can’t sleep.”

 

“What I would do to be you just once,” the red-haired girl yawns. “Bring your phone and call me if something happens. I’ll be awake until morning, anyway.”

 

“I’ll be fine.”

 

“You can never be too sure.”

 

“Fine,” Seulgi straps her armband in with her phone. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

 

“Be careful! Bye!” Wendy waves, eyes still glued to the script and laptop in front of her.

 

The outside is quiet and peaceful. Just like what Seulgi needs. It’s also dark and windy, a combination that Seulgi slightly fears but would never show. It’s not the first time she’s done this, anyway. Sometimes she would sneak out of the apartment but she comes back before Wendy starts to worry and notices she’s gone.

 

Before the insomniac girl realizes it, she already reaches the park in the middle of the city. There are still a few people around, mostly street vendors, some tourists, and a few lovers. Seulgi slows down her pace and at one point, her feet need to rest so she sits on one of the benches.

 

Seulgi sits back and looks up at the starry sky. It’s exceptionally a pretty sight tonight. She sighs in awe.

 

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” a voice startles Seulgi. It’s from a petite girl standing in front of her and staring up at the same sky. She’s clad in a blue sweater and ripped jeans. Her long raven hair tied in a ponytail. A pair of round glasses hanging on the bridge of her nose. Then she sits next to Seulgi despite having other empty benches around.

 

“Y - yeah,” Seulgi stutters, looking oddly at the girl.

 

“Do you know that stars don’t twinkle?” Seulgi shakes her head. “They don’t. As the light of a star travels into your realm of vision, turbulence in Earth’s atmosphere cause disturbances in the light’s path, creating the illusion that a star is twinkling.”

 

Seulgi’s eyes widen, “So ‘twinkle, twinkle, little star’ is a lie?”

 

The girl almost wants to laugh at Seulgi’s expression, which could only be described as betrayed, hurt and confused. “Seems like it,” the girl shrugs.

 

“Wow, it’s not every day a stranger ruins your life with cold hard facts,” Seulgi says sarcastically as she looks back up the sky.

 

The girl couldn’t take it in anymore and laughs.

 

It’s ridiculous but Seulgi feels the world stop for a moment. For someone who listens to a variety of music genres, even dancing to some of them, Seulgi thinks the girl’s laugh might just be the best sound she’s ever heard.

 

It also doesn’t hurt that her beauty glows even in the dim streetlight behind them.

 

They stay quiet for a moment, just sitting not far apart from each other. Seulgi would steal a glance from time to time at the girl who seems to be endlessly amazed by a starry night.

 

She gets caught on the fifth time that she glances.

 

“Is there a problem?” the girl asks innocently, eyes making the most adorable pleading look.

 

Seulgi shakes her head and purses her lips in embarrassment. Thank god it’s not broad daylight because she would have hated if someone sees the color that crept on her face.

 

The girl shifts a little to her left, facing Seulgi. “So what are you doing here at 2:30 in the morning?”

 

Seulgi shifts to her right to face the curious girl and throws one arm over the back of the bench. “I just went for a run.”

 

“A run? At this time? Are you crazy?”

 

“That’s exactly what my roommate said.” Seulgi chuckles. “I’m an insomniac. I can’t really fall asleep unless I’m too exhausted to function … or on rare occasions, my mind decides to actually take a break.”

 

“And you couldn’t have just … I don’t know … do yoga at home or something?”

 

Seulgi chuckles again, “I’m not really flexible.”

 

“Ah, shame,” the girl mumbles to herself, barely audible but Seulgi’s ears catch it. “I mean, yoga is relaxing, you know. You should do it sometime.”

 

“Do you do yoga?”

 

“Not really but I wouldn’t be opposed to it. I’ve done it once or twice.”

 

The conversation dies down a bit when Seulgi had to restrain herself from asking whether the girl is flexible or not. It’s not exactly an appropriate question to ask someone she just met. She doesn’t even know her name or what honorifics to use.

 

A sudden ringing of the phone. The girl takes out her phone from the pocket of her jeans. She just stares at it for a second - Park Sooyoung, Seulgi makes out the caller ID - before deciding to decline the call.

 

“Maybe it’s important,” Seulgi comments.

 

“I doubt it.” Seulgi frowns. “It’s just my daughter.”

 

Wide-eyed Seulgi almost chokes on air. “Da - daughter?”

 

The girl flashes a teasing grin. “Do I look like I have a daughter?”

 

“No, uh … no. I don’t know?” Seulgi honestly thinks she looks older than her but too young to be a mother.

 

“That’s because I don’t have one,” she confesses with a smirk. Seulgi’s sigh can only be recognized as a sigh of relief. “It’s just someone who likes to call me eomma a little too much.”

 

“Ah …”

 

“She’s probably losing her mind right now,” she laughs quietly while looking at her phone on silent. Seulgi can barely see the texts on the screen but she knows there are a lot of them.

 

“Are you not going to call her back then?”

 

“No.”

 

“Why? Maybe it’s an emergency.”

 

“I needed to be alone,” the girl simply replies.

 

Seulgi raises a brow. “But you’re not? I mean, I’m here.”

 

“I realized being alone at this time in this place is not the best idea I’ve had.”

 

Seulgi won’t argue with that. It may not be the best idea she’s had too but somehow, she’s happy that she’s here.

 

“I escaped a birthday party,” the girl utters a moment later. “That’s why Sooyoung is calling me.”

 

Seulgi pretends she doesn’t see the name of her caller. “Her birthday party?”

 

“My birthday party but her idea. I mean, I appreciate the thought very much but partying isn’t really my thing. It’s too loud and I’m kind of scared of loud noises so ... I’d rather have a quiet evening with friends or family.”

 

“Oh, I guess that makes sense.” Seulgi swallows awkwardly. “Uh, happy birthday.”

 

“Technically, it’s not my birthday anymore.”

 

“Happy belated birthday then.” Seulgi corrects.

 

The girl smiles. “Thank you.”

 

Seulgi wants to ask about her age just to be sure of the honorifics she’ll use but she’s too afraid that it would come out as rude. She still doesn’t even know her name yet.

 

She should ask.

 

Or introduce herself.

 

Whichever works with her tied tongue.

 

“Do you feel lonely?” the girl asks before Seulgi could even open .

 

“Why would I feel lonely?”

 

“You just have that look on your face,” she answers. “I can’t put it in words.”

 

Seulgi tries to relax her face.

 

The stranger moves closer to Seulgi. The next thing she knows is smooth hands caressing her cheeks, lifting the sides of her lips upward with her thumbs. “Better,” the girl displays a beam of satisfaction. Seulgi can’t help but return the sunny smile.

 

She wishes those soft hands didn’t have to stop touching her face.

 

Would it be too much if Seulgi frowns just so this nameless girl would turn it upside down again?

 

The two of them didn’t talk about anything too personal but they did talk about everything under the sun, or in this case, under the quarter moon and starry sky. From books to music to dramas to movies to politics then to the lack of equality and diversity all over the world.

 

Seulgi didn’t expect to learn a lot from her. But then again, this girl looks determined when she talks about something that she’s clearly informed and aware of. Seulgi cannot help but listen intently … and stare a little too much at her lips as they form words.

 

Time passes by quickly. It’s already 4 am and when Seulgi checks her phone, it is already bombarded with text messages from Wendy.

 

From: Roomie Wan

(3:35AM)

I thought you’d be back in an hour. Do you know how to read the time?

(3:37AM)

Where are you?

(3:44AM)

Are you okay?

Are you still alive?!

Do I have to write a eulogy now?!

(3:57AM)

Ya! Don’t make me call your mother!

(3:58AM)

I just realized I don’t know your mother nor do I have her number.

(4:00AM)

, did you get lost or what?!

 

Seulgi types a quick reply.

 

To: Roomie Wan

(4:02AM)

I’m fine. I will be back a little later. Don’t wait up.

 

“We better go home,” the girl declares as she stands up. “I’ve had a good time not being alone with you.”

 

Seulgi wants to protest, wants to insist that she’d stay a little more time; talk more, laugh more, stare at her more. But the way the stranger looks at her phone stops Seulgi. Maybe she really needs to go home.

 

“Likewise,” came Seulgi’s mere reply.

 

“We should do this again … sometime.”

 

“Will you be here again?”

 

She shrugs, “Maybe. Who knows?”

 

Seulgi wants to know.

 

And speaking of things she wants to know …

 

“Hey, I almost forgot,” Seulgi grabs her wrist by accident to which she quickly lets go. “I just … I haven’t asked your name yet. I’m Seulgi.” She lets out a hand, slightly trembling with both fear and excitement.

 

The stranger takes her hand and shakes it, “Irene.”

 

Irene.

 

“Nice to meet you, Irene.”

 

“Likewise, Seulgi.”

 

It takes everything in Seulgi to loosen her hold of Irene’s hand and just let the warm hand go. She misses it as soon as it’s out of her grasp.

 

“I have a feeling that we’ll meet again,” Irene remarks with one last smile. “Somehow.”

 

Seulgi stands there, dumbfounded and hopeful, while watching Irene walk away from her and disappear into sight.

 

Seulgi walks back to the apartment, but not before making a quick stop at a convenience store to buy Pringles. She grabs the keys in her pocket and unlocks the door. She finds Wendy sleeping soundly on the couch with her laptop still on and script lying on the floor. The insomniac picks it up after shutting down Wendy’s laptop. Seulgi gathers a blanket from her room and drapes it on her roommate.

 

When morning comes, she’ll tell Wendy about the fascinating girl she met in the park - thank her insomnia for that - and how her smile alone shined brighter than the moon and stars above them.

 

God, she’s whipped.

 

 

---

 

 

“You should have asked for her number,” Wendy says when the morning comes. The two roommates are sitting next to each other on the couch, feasting on the breakfast Wendy prepared.

 

Seulgi sighs deeply, face buried in her hands. Wendy is right. Why didn’t she ask?

 

Chuckling, Wendy states the obvious, “You’re such a mess when you meet cute girls.”

 

“I’m not! It just didn’t cross my mind.”

 

“Because you’re a mess.”

 

“As if you don’t forget stuff.”

 

“Well, I’ve never forgotten to ask a phone number of a girl that I want to ask out.”

 

“I don’t want to ask her out,” Seulgi clarifies.

 

“Sure, Pringles.” Wendy smirks then chews on her pancakes.

 

“Okay, maybe I do want to ask her out but I just forgot, okay? You should’ve seen her. She’s like … truth serum except the opposite?”

 

“She makes you want to lie?”

 

“No! She’s like … she’s … I don’t even have words.” Seulgi sighs in frustration.

 

“You’re the epitome of gay panic, Seul.” Seulgi rolls her eyes at that. “Roll your eyes all you want but you know I’m right, Kang Seulgi.”

 

She’s not going to give her roommate the satisfaction so Seulgi rolls her eyes again and starts chewing on the food placed in front of her.

 

 

Wendy gets a call from her boss and has to leave earlier than expected to cover for another radio DJ, leaving Seulgi to take care of the dishes and household chores that Wendy usually does.

 

Having no agenda for the day, Seulgi is stuck at home playing video games which got boring a long while after. She only gets frustrated when she loses. It’s not necessarily because the game is difficult if she were to be honest, it's just ... the girl - Irene - is still in the back of her mind. She can still hear her laugh; the laugh that could end wars. Well, at least, it could end the wars in Seulgi’s head.

 

Although Wendy insisted she’s the personification of gay panic, Seulgi thinks otherwise. She felt calm when they were talking. Corny as it may sound but talking to Irene is like finding a safe space in the middle of a battlefield.

 

Seulgi heaves a sigh for the nth time that day.

 

Why didn’t she ask for her number? She should have gotten her phone number.

 

“I have a feeling that we’ll meet again … somehow.”

 

“When, when, when,” Seulgi mumbles exasperatedly, throwing her game controller on the other of the couch.

 

 

---

 

 

It’s 2 am again and Seulgi can’t sleep. Nothing new by now.

 

Seulgi changes into her work-out clothes - a pair of black leggings topped with a loose long-sleeved gray shirt and a pair of new Nike Air Max.

 

Wendy is already asleep in her room. She got home later than usual and Seulgi doesn’t want to interrupt her sleep so she leaves a note on her roommate’s door in case Wendy wakes up earlier than expected and looks for her. Then, she sneaks out of the apartment.

 

Seulgi puts her headphones on and plays a personal playlist from her Spotify before stretching and running eventually.

 

Only fools fall for you, only fools
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall
Only fools fall for you, only fools
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall

 

Maybe her playlist knows her a little too much.

 

 

Seulgi keeps running until she reaches the park. Breathing heavily, she slows down and tries to relax her breathing. The park isn’t as quiet and empty as it was last night.

 

She sits on the same bench.

 

She waits.

 

She waits anxiously for almost two hours. Eventually, her playlist already run out of songs to play.

 

This is moronic, she thinks. Seulgi throws her head back, looking up at the night sky. Just the moon. No stars.

 

Seulgi wonders whether the moon feels as lonely as she does tonight.

 

 

It’s already past 4 am when Seulgi decides to get back to the apartment. She carefully sneaks back in. Her note still attached to the door meaning Wendy hasn’t woken up yet. She thanks the universe for that, at least. Because if Wendy was awake, she’d tell her how stupid this was, which she already knows.

 

“Sneaking out, huh?” a voice startles Seulgi. A figure comes out behind the counter. She almost throws her phone across the room before identifying who it is.

 

“Ya! Son Seungwan, what the hell - heck!” Seulgi cries out in surprise, hand massaging her chest. “What are you doing up? Go back to sleep.”

 

“My stomach woke me up. I needed to eat something.” Wendy nibbles on the sandwich she made. “Went for another run?”

 

“Yes,” Seulgi answers before falling to the couch.

 

Wendy leans on the back of the couch, still chewing on her sandwich. “So ... did you see her again?” Seulgi’s disappointed pout is enough of an answer. “Kang Seulgi, a gay disaster. I should probably tell my listeners about you. I bet they’d be interested in your gay panic moments.”

 

“I told you this one is not one of those moments.” Seulgi insists with an eye roll.

 

“Yeah, sure.” Wendy sarcastically remarks. On her fourth bite, the redhead gets an idea. “Why don’t you send a message on the radio tomorrow? Maybe your girl, Irene, is listening to my show.”

 

Seulgi sits up, grinning in excitement. “I knew you’d be useful one day, DJ Wendy!”

 

“Ya!” Wendy smacks the back of her roommate’s head. “I’m not a useless lesbian. That’s you.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Seulgi brushes her off. “What time is your program?”

 

“6 pm.”

 

“Great! I’ll message you! Good night, Wan.” Seulgi walks into her room.

 

“It’s already morning.”

 

“It’s still night if the sun isn’t up.” She shuts the door with a smile.

 

 

---

 

 

Seulgi sits quietly in her car, listening to Wendy’s radio program, and waiting for her message to be read.

 

“For our first message of the night. This one’s from a Seulgi.” Seulgi can almost hear the small chuckle forming on the back of Wendy’s throat but she ignores it. It’s desperate, Seulgi admits. But desperate times call for desperate measures. “Seulgi is looking for a girl named Irene. Irene, please meet Seulgi in the city park at 9 pm. She’ll be waiting for you.” Short pause. “And as Seulgi requested here, I’ll be playing Honne’s ‘Warm On A Cold Night’. For Irene.”

 

Like a rabbit in headlights
They’re stunned by all your charm
And I feel so damn lucky
To have you on my arm

And I can’t help but wonder
How we ended up alright
And I love you like no other
'Cause this has never felt so right

Yeah you can keep me warm on a cold night
Warm on a cold cold night
Yeah you can keep me warm on a cold night
Warm on a cold cold night

 

Seulgi starts the car. Death grip on the steering wheel.

 

She has less than three hours left.

 

She’ll be waiting.

 

 

---

 

 

It’s an unusually cold tonight.

 

Seulgi doesn’t mind. She parks her car nearby and sits on the bench. Hopeful, excited, tensed. Peeking at her watch anxiously from time to time.

 

“Please come, please come, please come,” she mutters.

 

Seulgi, in reality, has no idea what she would do when Irene actually shows up. She doesn’t know what she should say and Seulgi is not a fan of scripts and rehearsing conversations. It doesn’t make the conversation feel authentic.

 

But, god, Seulgi wishes she practiced something before coming here. The last thing she wants is to mess this up.

 

She peeks at her watch again. 8:53.

 

This is going to be the longest seven minutes of her life.

 

 

---

 

 

Seven minutes became an hour.

 

An hour plus twenty-two minutes, to be exact.

 

It’s 10:15 and still no Irene.

 

Maybe she wasn’t listening to Wendy’s program. Maybe she doesn’t even like listening to the radio. Maybe she doesn’t want to come. Maybe she doesn’t even remember her. Maybe she’s just running so late. Maybe something happened to her. Maybe she has another date. Maybe Seulgi is the only one that felt their connection. Maybe it’s stupid to hold on to the serenity that Irene provided her two nights ago.

 

Too many maybe’s.

 

Seulgi wants to cry. What was she thinking?

 

Soon, little droplets of water drench her hair, her clothes and eventually her skin. Seulgi doesn’t have to cry now. The clouds already weep for her. The pitter-patter of the rain tags along in her waiting. Seulgi watches the drops of water hitting the pavement, producing a song matching her melancholy. Seulgi remains sitting on the bench, hand clenching on the edge. Maybe this is good. No one can see her tears under the rain. Maybe the rain will wash the misery away.

 

Pathetic, she thinks. You only met her once.

 

It’s not love at first sight. Seulgi isn’t even sure if it’s love yet. But it sure is something. A connection, familiarity, something.

 

Seulgi closes her eyes. Just a few minutes more and she promises to go home.

 

Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop.

 

The rain doesn’t stop. But she doesn’t feel it engulfing her anymore.

 

Seulgi opens her eyes before looking up.

 

She blinks. Once. Twice.

 

A sigh of relief.

 

A small smile.

 

Irene.

 

“You really waited, huh?” Irene is standing in front of her, holding an umbrella over them.

 

“Yo - you heard …”

 

“I do listen to the radio. I like the song, by the way.”

 

Good.

 

Irene takes off her coat and wraps it around the soaked girl. “I’m sorry I’m late. I couldn’t leave work early,” she says so casually.

 

“You’re here,” Seulgi says softly, still in disbelief.

 

Was it normal to feel high even if you don’t smoke weed? Not that she would ever equate Irene to a weed. She’s much more addicting. In a good way. The best way.

 

“I’m here,” Irene smiles. “And so are you. What do you say we move somewhere with a roof? I know a good cafe. It’s not very far from here.”

 

“I … I have a car.”

 

“I’ll drive then.”

 

Seulgi finds herself nodding in agreement. She doesn’t need more convincing, not that she needed any anyway. She hands over the keys to Irene and they both walk to the car.

 

It’s absurd but if Irene wants to have the stars, Seulgi would find a way to give it to her in a heartbeat. She only has to ask.

 

“I hope you didn’t come out of pity,” Seulgi says all of a sudden as Irene drives her car to their destination.

 

“Didn’t I tell you I have a feeling that we’ll meet again?”

 

“Yes but -”

 

“I didn’t think it would be this soon but I’m not complaining.”

 

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

 

“I see you’re straightforward,” Irene comments with a giggle.

 

“I … I like being honest.”

 

“Good. I like honest people.”

 

“I didn’t get to tell you that night but you’re really beautiful. You would put the stars to shame, Irene.”

 

“I would have loved to meet you during daylight. Just to see who shines brighter - you or the sun.” Irene counters with a smirk, eyes focused on the road.

 

“We still have tomorrow,” Seulgi says before realizing she may have overstepped or assumed too much. “If - if that’s something you want, of course. Meet me again, I mean. Tomorrow. In daylight. Uhm, with the sun … hopefully.”

 

Irene bursts into giggles at Seulgi’s rambling. “It’s a second date then.”

 

“I … we don’t even have a first?”

 

“Where do you think we’re going?”

 

The crimson blush creeping on Seulgi’s face is enough of an answer.

 

“It’s not much but you only gave me - well, my friends - limited time to prepare.”

 

In the passenger seat, whilst affectionately looking at Irene, Seulgi thinks somehow every sleepless night in her life have been worth it.