I was old... 

 

I was 30 years old...

 

I was clueless as hell...

 

I was hurting...

 

I was loving...

 

I was... utterly.. confused...

 

On what?! 

 

My feelings... for my best... friend?.. 

 

No no.. let me rephrase myself

 

I AM 30. I AM old. I AM confused on my feelings. I AM crushing on my best friend, it's a secret though...

 

 

 

 

 

In the far ends of the lowly living struggling students and workers who get paid the minimum wage, the houses in Seoul, which were so expensive, could be just expensive living in this villa. If that's what you should even call this crappy place.

 

High in the alley way, the metro nor bus stopped here, walk the steps you moron, you'll never get there like that. You see the complex apartments that, with their weird structure you could tell were made on the hill top. They were cheap, and even the place was a condition for that. Good jobs don't pay you to live in a cheap place like this. The night view while walking up the stairs and on the rooftop house are excellent, I recommend if you want to see it for free. 

 

Bang Yongguk was a pretty normal man who worked for 17 dollars an hour. He was no Steve Jobs or owed a company. He liked his place just the way it was. He wasn't struggling, but he wasn't living in luxury. I mean who could, when you have a friend AND roommate like Kim Himchan. 

 

Yes, THAT famous Kim Himchan is ME! Now you understand quite a lot. Kim Himchan, is crushing on his 17 year best friend. When I started liking him... when I met him 17 years ago? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Himchan worked in two different jobs, a barista in a cafe during the day, and a bartender at the bar at night. It wasn't much really, since he didn't have to go to the bar everyday. He struggled, and Yongguk helped him through the struggle. That is why Yongguk is not living luxuriously, he is too busy carrying for Himchan to think of his own lux. It hurt Himchan, but he was thankful anyways, Yongguk was too nice for his own good. 

 

It was another hard day, the cafe was quite packed, and Himchan made quite some rounds. Picking up many things and washing them, taking out the trash, assisting the costumers, making coffee.

 

Closing hours were in 5 minutes. Himchan was ready to lock down the cafe. He was ready to clean, just waiting for the few costumers who were finishing up. 

 

As he began to get the cleaning supplies, another person came through the door. Himchan irritated, sighed and looked at the person. 

 

"Yah!" Yongguk called waving at him smiling his gummy smile that made Himchan melt. 

 

The irritation was now gone, Yongguk's work was not close to here, so what was he doing here? Himchan imagined that he had come to see him but of course that probably wasn't it, he couldn't keep his hopes high. 

 

Yongguk, skipped to Himchan's counter smiling at Himchan's shocked expression

 

"What brings you here, work isn't close" Himchan asked, giving Yongguk a simple coffee with just one small tea spoon of sugar. The way yongguk liked it. Yongguk smiled once again reaching out and ruffling the younger's hair

 

"I wanted to walk home with you" he said it so innocently, yet he didn't know that his words were affecting Himchan's heart way too much.

 

A sudden rush of high hopes hit Himchan like a train, making him shake his head and smile at Yongguk, his voice would probably betray him.

 

Yongguk drank his drink as the last people walked out. Himchan bowed down and took the supplies at hand beginning to spray his counter with Clorox to clean away the germs.

 

Yongguk noticed Himchan's burdened expression and sighed 

 

"You don't have to feel bad, I really wanted to see you come home safely today. I get worried when you just walk by yourself" he mumbled making Himchan blush. 

 

Yongguk seemed to care so much for him, it was really making him go crazy 

 

"Why would you be worried, I'm a male, I can protect myself" Himchan respondes, mumbling the last part as he got out of the counter and began to wipe down the tables. Yongguk took the empty cups and put them in the dish washer. Himchan was the only worker at this shift today. 

 

"Even if you're a man, you are as soft as a bunny, you'll get hurt easily, that's why I want to protect you" Yongguk said taking Himchan's cloth and beginning to wipe down the tables for him. 

 

Himchan, stopped his work, blushing madly at Yongguk's words. Yongguk wanted to protect him? That was the sweetest sentence Himchan had heard all day, and without any borders, the younger felt his low hopes run wild. A happy giggle coming out of his mouth as he began to wipe down the tables again. 

 

Yongguk smiled, as he saw his best friend in a daze, laughing, and blushing. It was so adorable to Yongguk, and he couldn't help but crack a smile. 

 

"Why are you smiling from ear to ear like that?" The oldest of the two asked, finishing the last table and beginning to take the cleaning supplies from Himchan. The other giggled cutely, still blushing as he gave his towel to Yongguk. 

 

"It's just, nobody has ever told me they wanted to protect me before" he confessed frowning at the terrible memories of his childhood. Yongguk noticed the change, and switched the topic quickly as to not hurt Himchan. He hated seeing Himchan hurting.

 

"Yah let's hurry up and finish, I have somewhere I want to take you" Himchan looked up to his best friend and smiled once again "—is it a really nice place?" Yongguk nodded making Himchan laugh. It was such a pleasing moment for both males. 

 

"Where is it?" Himchan complained, as both males had gotten off the metro and had been walking for 10 minutes. "—we are almost there I assure you" Yongguk answered huffing some of the spring air into his lungs. Cherry blossoms were finally in bloom and that's what kept Himchan interested in their walk. It was still kind of cold from this winter, but not too bad 

 

"They're so beautiful" Himchan muttered, catching one of the falling flowers in his hand. Yongguk took the flower from Himchan, which made him pout, and put it in the younger's hair. 

 

Himchan looked over to Yongguk, the happy glint in his eyes, sparking. Making his eyes so beautiful. 

 

"How do I look?" He asked touching the flower so it wouldn't fall off, with such a distraction he hadn't expected to hear anything from Yongguk. 

 

"Beautiful" Yongguk answered, intertwining their fingers and hands together and walking slowly to the top of the stairs of their home. 

 

Himchan was speechless from both acts as he was dragged up the stairs of their apartment homes. He was blushing, and despite the chilly air, he felt hot. Yongguk had complimented him on how he looked, and now was holding his hand. They were such strong signals, and Himchan's hopes were getting higher and higher, but he couldn't tell Yongguk, not just yet. 

 

"We're here" Yongguk announced, letting go of Himchan's hand. It turned cold. Himchan was about to complain about how this was just their home, until he saw the view. On this certain spot on top of their mountain, you could see Seoul's suburban areas. The beautiful lights of the buildings, cars, and even the lights put to decorate everything were on display from this view. It was so beautiful, Himchan was rendered speechless. 

 

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Yongguk asked, enjoying how that glint in Himchan's eyes returned and sparkles with the lights around them. The cherry blossoms began to blow too, making the scenery even more breathtaking. 

 

"I...I didn't know we had such a beautiful view" Himchan confessed, not taking his eyes away from the scenery. He had to remember this. Yongguk saw how intense Himchan was, and smiled. Himchan was so cute. 

 

"You know what else is more beautiful than this scenery?" Yongguk asked the dazed Himchan who shook his head, still enjoying the view. The oldest, carefully turned Himchan to face him, making the younger drop his daze, and look at Yongguk, fully attentive. 

 

"You're more beautiful than this scenery" he answered, going in for a kiss on the lips. Himchan, shocked, didn't respond to the kiss, that ended way to early for his liking. It was a shy peck. Yongguk then looked away, a blush tinting his cheeks. Himchan felt confidence swell inside him.

 

"I-I-I'm sorry I got out of hand" Yongguk stuttered, not making eye contact with Himchan, who smiled happily pulling Yongguk to face him. The older was avoiding his gaze, not much to Himchan's liking. 

 

"I really like you, but I understand if you don't" he confessed, pulling away from Himchan and beginning to walk home. Himchan, who was dancing happily inside, ran up to Yongguk, spun him around, and pecked his lips softly. Now it was Yongguk's turn to be in a daze, as Himchan took his hand and kissed it, a mad blush spreading through his cheeks.

 

"I like you too, will you be my boyfriend?" Himchan confessed, looking down, and waiting for an answer. The shy Yongguk was quite shocked, but never the less would never kept Himchan hanging (that was just the kind of gentleman he was) and hugged him tightly.

 

"I accept Bang Himchan" Himchan laughed happily, punching Yongguk's hand lightly 

 

"I said boyfriend, not husband" 

 

"But later, you'll be my husband too" Yongguk said, holding Himchan's hand and beginning to run to their apartment room. 

 

"Fine then, I'll be waiting for that day Bang Yongguk"