It first happened when I was 6. I was playing in the living room by myself when I looked up I saw a man standing a few feet away from me. I had never seen him before and he just appeared out of nowhere. ‘Whatever’ I thought as I turned away continued to play with teddies. Then after giving Winnie some tea I looked back to the corner where the man was standing only to see that he was gone.

My young self-believed that instance was a random occurrence due to my imaginative ability but then it happened again when I was 9. My class had gone to the park to have a picnic for winning our year’s sports day, everything at first was normal. Then whilst my classmates and I played a game of tag a man appeared. A different man. This man was sitting on our picnic blanket looking directly at me. My memory wasn’t the clearest of the first man but he was soft like a cloud. This man was wilder, he had black and red hair with a fashion sense that contributed to this he had holes in all of his clothes. I wondered if I would look like that when I was older. ‘Tag!’ One of classmates yelled as the tapped me on the shoulder. Distracted by the sudden intrusion I look up to see that just like the last man this one too had disappeared.

In order to help me be more social at age 11 my mother signed me up to be a camper who gets badges that honestly haven’t helped me at all in this day and age. It was in September when we went on our first camping trip (too cold of a moth for camping) and once we were set up and the night had set in our groups we went off to explore the campsite and see some significant nightlife. Whilst I was lost in my thoughts another man had appeared, this one was significantly bigger than the previous two and was holding a lantern. I looked to see if my other campers where looking at the man but it seemed as though none of them were aware of his presence. I looked back to where he was standing only to see that he too had disappeared. However unlike the other times a remnant of him remained, his lantern. I picked up the lantern.                                                               ‘Oh! Birdie. Did you find that?’ My group asked with excited as she stared at the lantern.                                                                                                   ‘No, it’s mine.’ I replied holding the lantern closer to my chest. ‘Well it’s very pretty.’ She said with a smile as she guided me back to the rest of the group.

After the interaction with the lantern man I felt paranoid I couldn’t tell me I was seeing random strange men unless I wanted to look crazy. Sure I was never a particularly outgoing child but I had friends I fit in, I had a family who cared for me but at that very moment in my tent with 3 other girls I had never felt more alone. That night I cried myself to sleep questioning my mental health.

I was older and studying proper subjects, I had just turned 12 and my art class was going on a trip to an art exhibition to study the greatest artist of our time (whoever they are). The boredom was killing me as we went around the museum having to sketch imitations of other artists work after all wasn’t art about creativity. I wasn’t a creative person but my trip buddy and close friend was very artistic so I couldn’t imagine how much this was destroying her. We turned down another hallway of art but this time instead of just seeing more art there was a man standing in the middle of the hallway. This man was smarter and carried himself with maturity but his expression was one of fear, he looked genuinely scared. My heart started to ache the longer I looked at the man wanting to give him sort some of comfort I waved at him. My friend grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the direction of some art the man’s face fell as he reached out for me despite me not knowing him I reached out for him too.         ‘What are you doing?’                                                                                                                                                                                                                               ‘I don’t know.’ I looked back down the hallway but he too was gone and this time I felt it.

After actually interacting with one of the mystery men they went away for a while and in that while I was stable, no longer questioning my sanity but living my teenage life. Instead of thinking about ghost I thought about real crushes and about my future. When I was 16 on a usual spring day, school had just finished I was chatting with my girls whilst I waited by the school gate. People often loitered by the gate so it came as no surprise to see a tall guy standing around but he was making very strong eye contact with me. No taking my eyes off the man, I tapped my friend ‘Who’s that?’ I asked nodding in his direction.                                                                                                                                                                                                   ‘Who?’ She asked genuinely confused.                                                                                                                                                                                                    ‘The tall blonde guy with good fashion sense and a very nice face.’                                                                                                                                  ‘Ummm…I really can’t see him.’ She fake giggles and continues ‘Maybe I should get glasses.’ The moment she said that dread set in. ‘No.’ ‘No.’ ‘No.’ I repeated over and over again as I turned my back on the giant. When I turned around he was gone. I was crazy.

That night I thought it over and all in all seeing a handsome man once every few years didn’t seem too bad, sure they weren’t real but it didn’t prove that I was unwell. If only I knew.