Kyungwon’s POV

 

"Good night, Kyulkyung.  I see you tomorrow."

 

“Take a good rest, Kyungwon.”

 

I bid goodbye to my workmate who also happened to be my neighbor. I waited until she enter her house and close the door before I enter my own house. The smile I had been wearing for the whole day immediately vanish when I close the door. Stepping inside the house, I am greeted by the darkness. I switch on the lights and all I could see was emptiness. The house is filled with simple type furniture. Nothing fancy and just enough for me. And her. Her. Ever since she left, I have been living a life full of lies.

 

Whenever I step outside the house, I put on my best smile but when I am inside, the smile disappear. How could I smile when she's not with me? In this house we bought together from our savings. We had been saving every penny, we had been really careful with our expenditures so that we can buy a house of our own. But not long after we finally did, she left without notice, without warning. Leaving me alone in this small house, with the memory of us.

 

Flashback

 

She was laying down on the old couch with her eyes closed. Her long legs were placed on the small custom made coffee table in front of the couch while her right arm flailing on the air beside her. Wondering if she was asleep, I called her name.

 

“Minkyung.” She did not respond to me. I waited for a minute or so and was about to leave when I heard her.

 

“Mmm.” Her left eyes was opened and she stared at me with it. “Do you need something?” Her tone was husky. Without thinking, I jumped on top of her, my hands quickly wrapped her in a tight embrace. Her scent hit my nose immediately and as I breath down her neck.

 

“What’s wrong?” Pulling away from my embrace, I could feel the softness in her touch when she placed both of her hands on my cheeks. The glow in her eyes captivated me every time making me falling for her again and again without fail.

 

“I just miss you so much.”

 

The glow from her eyes was expanding, radiating way brighter as her lips formed the most beautiful smile I ever seen on this earth. How can a human glow so much like this? Was she an angel that came down to this earth just to make my awful life seems so much better?

 

“I miss you more, Kyungwon.”

 

Her voice sounded like a song that I could listen over and over again without getting tired of it. Her voice bewitched me and I was in a daze. I could feel my lips was touched by a soft and moist lips of her. It felt too comfortable as if her lips and mine were one and that was true because we were one. My heart and her beat together. I closed my eyes as I let her kiss overwhelmed me, bringing me to an unearthly world.

 

Suddenly, I cannot feel the soft lips on my own anymore and I immediately open my eyes only to be greeted by the empty space of our living room. I let out a deep breath which gives no effect to the heaviness that is torturing my heart. With that heavy heart, I slowly walk pass the living room. From the corner of my eyes, I can see our photo hanging on the wall. It was taken the day she proposed. That was one of three happiest day in my live. She didn't have money to buy me a real gold ring so she made an aluminum ring from the unused parts from her work stuff. I felt it on my ring finger. With her skill in crafts it was done neatly and beautifully. It was not expensive and probably had no value for others but it held the greatest value to me. It didn't get any better than the love of your life confessing her love with her own handiwork.

 

Flashback

 

We were walking down by the lakeside while holding each other’s hands. My head was on top of her shoulder the entire time. It must had been about a half an hour of walking in silence while watching the beautiful sight of nature around us with the soft breeze breathing on our skin but the silence was not foreign to us. It felt comfortable and soothing.

 

“Kyungwon.”

 

She called my name softly as she stopped walking so sudden in front of a bench right next to the lake. She turned my body around to face her and then proceed to push me to sit on the bench slowly. I was confused but her smile put the easiness into my heart.

 

“I know that I have nothing to offer you in term of wealth and comfort.” Suddenly, she dropped down on her knees and said weird things which causing me to worry.

 

“I don’t care about that, Minkyung.” I wanted to say something else but she stopped me by putting her index finger on my lips. Her eyes kept staring into my own and her lips formed a bright smile that illuminate my world. Her hands found their way to my own hands and gripped them firmly.

 

“The only thing that I have that I can give to you as I have been doing all this time is my heart. I love you, Kang Kyungwon, and I want you to be mine for the rest of our life. I promise that my heart will forever be yours and I will work hard to make your life and our life more comfortable than now.” My heart was beating so fast that I thought it were going to jump. I waited for her to continue although my eyes already filled with strange liquid.

 

“Will you stay with me through the happy moments and the hard times? Will you live forever with me? Will you marry me, Kang Kyungwon?”

 

I cannot contain the tears from flowing anymore so I let it flow and pull Minkyung into a hug. I was a sobbing mess and I did not care about the people who were watching us. I was extremely happy because living with her for the rest my life was the only thing that I want. She was the reason why I still breathing.

 

“I will stay with you, live with you and marry you. I love you so much, Minkyung!” I hug her tighter before she could finally escape from my killing embrace and a ring found it’s way to my finger.

 

“I don’t have money to buy a gold ring for you, so I made this. Sorry.”

 

“No, sorry. This is perfect! Let’s go to church now.”

 

“What??!!”

 

Ignoring the obvious shock she was having, I dragged her to a church and find the priest and got married that day.

 

I open the door to our room. I still could smell her scent in the room. I let it overwhelm me, bringing me back to days we were together. The first time we moved in, we couldn't afford to buy a proper bed. We could only bring our old uncomfortable thin mattress from our rent apartment. The mattress was small. We would cuddled together, trying to fit on the small mattress and in the morning I usually end up laying on top of her.

 

I miss that. I miss the softness of her body, how comfortable she was as my pillow. I miss how she would my hair and whisper lullaby till I drifted into the dream world. I miss the warm of her touch. I miss the sound of her heartbeat. I miss the feeling of her breath on my face. I miss her. I sit on the bed. That is first furniture we bought for our small heaven. We had money to buy bigger one and I did suggest that but she refused.

 

Flashback

 

We had spent almost the entire day going through all furniture shops in this small town just to buy a suitable bed. We saved enough money to buy a huge bed that will be comfortable for the both of us but she kept refusing each one.

 

“How about this one? The framework is beautiful.”

 

“No, it isn’t sturdy enough.”

 

“What about this? It is sturdy.”

 

“Nope. It’s ugly.”

 

“How about this? It is sturdy and don’t lie. It’s beautiful.”

 

“No, too expensive.”

 

“Minkyungie! I’m tired. Can’t we just pick one and go back.”

 

She looked around us and my jaw dropped when she pointed to a single wooden frame bed with drawers. Amongst all big size bed in this shop she wanted that small one? What had got into her mind? We were most often be called as giants because we were too tall.

 

“That’s too small. Minkyungie, we won’t fit on it.”

 

“We fit just well on our small mattress.” She said it like it was nothing but she was looking all over except my face.

 

“Nope. We’re getting a big bed.” I stayed firm to my wish.

 

“So, you don’t want to sleep on my chest anymore?” The way she whispered into my ears gave me chills. That’s it. That was the reason. Oh my God, she’s so silly.

 

“Heck, who the hell said I don’t? But we STILL getting the BIG bed.” I stole a peck from her and left to talk to the shop assistant about getting my big bed. Not so big, just a medium size one that was comfortable enough for us.

 

I shake my head trying to let go the memory and step inside the shower right outside of our room. It have been months but I still can't get used to going to the bathroom alone. Ever since we became a couple, she would always followed me everywhere and I would do the same thing. We never had been apart from each other even for one second except when we were at work. It seems like a pity if we waste our time apart and it hurts.

 

Her toiletries are still line up neatly in the small mirror cupboard. I don't have a will to throw them away because in my heart I am still expecting her to come back home. To our heaven. To me. I know it is ridiculous to keep someone’s stuff long after the left but I don’t care. It is still clear in my eyes, how she would teased me by spraying some water when I was brushing my teeth or when she would pretend to help me wash my face but actually trying to prank me and I would fall for it again and again and again.

 

I walk lazily to the kitchen and open the fridge, looking if there is eatable food in there. My stomach has been screaming at me for ignoring it needs for a few days. There only two eggs and an unopened bottle of milk. Not even a can of beer can be found there. I close the fridge at start rummaging the cabinet for other source of food although I know there will be none. I haven’t stock food for a long time. Nothing. Defeated, I open the fridge again and take what left of the content of the fridge and start making scramble eggs. That will be enough for tonight. The scramble eggs is place on the island before I take a sit. Stuffing myself with the egg alone on that table, my mind starts to play the memory of that day she left me again.

 

I came back from work quite late that day. It was the day of the anniversary of our marriage. As I was walking home, I passed by a new flower shop and I know you love flowers. I bought a bouquet of red rose as a symbol of my eternal love to you. I thought of surprising her but I was the one who got surprised.

 

Flashback

 

My hand push the door knob effectively opening the door. It was weird as I was greeted by darkness. You usually came home earlier than me. Thinking maybe you wanted to surprise me, I kept my calm and switch on light, hoping for the scream of “SURPRISE!” but nothing. The silence that welcome me was deafening.

 

“Minkyung?” Silence.

 

“Honey?” Silence.

 

“Babe it isn’t funny.” Silence.

 

“Minkyung come out please.” Still silence.

 

I searched the whole house for her but there is no evidence of her. I tried to keep calm thinking that maybe she got off work late but remembering that she never did that, the fear finds it ways to my heart again. I went to kitchen because maybe she was hiding there. Hopefully. Nope she didn’t. The kitchen was empty. Noticing a note on the island table, I picked it up.

 

I’m sorry, Kyungwon.

I have to go.

I don’t love you anymore.

Forget me.

 

No way. This is not true. She cannot leave me like this. I run to my room and search for my phone. I need to call her. I need explanation. There is no way she is leaving me. There is no world where she does not love me anymore. No I cannot accept this. I call her and wait for the line to be picked up. Suddenly, I hear the sound of her phone ringing somewhere in the house. She’s here. She still here. I go to the direction of the sound and I find it. Only the phone is there but the owner is not.

 

I panic. Nayoung. Yes, Nayoung is Minkyung’s bestfriend and mine too. She would know where Minkyung is. I run to Kyulkyung’s house as I know she must be there. I pound on the door as hard as I can. If it breaks because of me, so be it.

 

“Nayoung! NAYOUNG! OPEN THE DOOR!”

 

“NAYOUNG! OPEN THIS ING DOOR!”

 

I almost fall down when the door is opened but I manage to stabilize myself. Nayoung’s face shows that she is shocked by my sudden appearance but I don’t care. I push her inside to the wall and grab her collar.

 

“Where is Minkyung? She’s here isn’t she?” I ask not so nicely.

 

“Minkyung? Kyungwon you know she’s not here. You have to calm down.” Nayoung tries to calm me down but I refuse to let her distract me.

 

“Not here? Then where she is? TELL ME WHERE IS MINKYUNG?” I push her harder against the wall.

 

“Kyungwon stop. Please. You are going to hurt Nayoung.” Kyulkyung put her hands on my shoulders. She is not trying to pull me. The touch feels more like a soothing gesture.

 

“Not until you tell me where is my wife. I found a note saying she doesn’t love me anymore. There is no way she did that. NO WAY!”

 

I can see the way they look at each other as if they are conversing in secret through their eyes. The sadness that appear on their faces is confusing me. Nayoung and Kyulkyung both touch my shoulders softly as if telling me it is okay. I don’t understand. They lead me to the living room and sit me down on the sofa slowly.

 

“Kyungwon-ah, I know you are in shock. But try to remember.”

 

“Remember what? No, she was with me. Up until today.”

 

“Kyungwon. She left that note a year ago. Remember?”

 

No way. That’s not possible.

 

“Kyungwon-ah, do you remember what we did today? Before I said goodnight to you?”

 

Kyulkyung words strike me. I was with Kyulkyung before. I remember she bid goodnight to me before I entered my house and that’s when the memories flood in.

 

“Minkyung did left me a year ago and today is the anniversary of our marriage and the same day she left me.”

 

“Yes.” I can hear Kyulkyung even she just mumbling the word. Another memory come to the forefront of my mind.

 

I was called to the hospital and I did not know why. Kyulkyung and Nayoung were beside me, holding each of my hands. I gripped their hands tightly and this strange heavy feelings I could not explain was in my chest. I could feel my eyes were wet and blurry. We were lead to a room in the basement. The room was freezing and it emitted a gloomy and creepy mood. I could see a lot of metallic doors like the door to commercial freezer. The man who brought us there pull one of the door, showing us the content.

 

It was Minkyung.

 

“Min.. Minkyung. She.. died.” Both Nayoung and Kyulkyung are hugging me. Tears started to flow. Minkyung died today. The guy who showed me her body gave me her things. Among it, there is an envelope which contains a letter. I know now why she left me.

 

Kyungwon, my love.

 

When you read this letter, it probably means that I am no longer breathing. I know it was wrong of me to leave you just like that after just a few months we officiated our marriage but you have to know that I cannot bear the thought of becoming a burden to you. I found out that I have stage 4 cancer and it just not possible for me to get better. We cannot afford the treatment and the cost to just delay the inevitable end is too much. I cannot let what we have work for be wasted on me, someone who is going to die no matter what.

 

I’m sorry that I break your heart. I’m sorry that I say those thing to you. I love you so much Kyungwon. There is no day that pass by without me missing you like a mad woman. But leaving you is the only option I have to avoid being a burden to you. I hope one day you will find it in your heart to forgive my idiotic act.

 

Kyungwon, my love. I hope that you will continue to live well. I will watch from above and I will always be with you. It just that you won’t be able to see me. Live to fullest for both of us.

 

I love you.

 

Your wife

Minkyung

 

Why does it hurts so much more when I know the truth? Minkyung-ah, why did you do this to me? To us? Why did you asked me if I’m willing to stay with you through the happy moments and the hard times when you went away when it became hard? Why Minkyung? Why?