In this white corridor, he walked with an empty heart, his eyes full of tears with slow steps. Arriving in the sunshine on the outside, he collapsed against the concrete cursing on himself. All that happened was his faults and he knew it, hide it would have been a lie, one more in his life that he thought was beautiful without any black clouds…

One day, it was enough a day for the tall brown to succumb to the charm of a small individual named Baekhyun. One smile exchanges, a word, a date for him to know that his life was going to change. A kiss, a question, a “yes” and tears of happiness, nothing more. And, it was unbelievable for his heart that only wanted to love. At first, he had a hard time believing it, but the other one reminded him every day that he wasn’t dreaming. From now on, he could dream awake because his life was a dream that no nightmare could erase.

Baekhyun was Chanyeol’s angel and for nothing in this world he wanted that to change. Years had passed at a crazy speed, but their love had not aged, they loved each other like the first day. Their kisses still had an electrifying taste, their touch a power that sent them intoxicating shivers. When their bodies merges, there was nothing else that could count for them, only the other counted. Chanyeol saw only Baekhyun and Baekhyun only Chanyeol.

But this time seemed as over, since they have left university. Admittedly, they saw each other everyday, they woke up in the same bed and kissed in order to prove their love. However, behind all this we could discern an uneasiness that grew daily in their hearts. Why? How? Because… if ifs and buts were candy and nuts, wouldn’t it be a merry Christmas? With because, we try to escape the reality. Everyday, that’s what Chanyeol was doing, flees a deteriorating reality that revealed cracks filled with blood and black clouds. His friends had noticed it, saying to him that it was becoming unbearable that Baekhyun was exaggerating with his possessive jealousy. But, he didn’t want to believe them, his man had the right to love him with such intensity.

At first, his comportment was quite normal, Baekhyun was jealous like Chanyeol was, in other words in small doses, nothing really bad. They laughed about it a lot to tell the truth. In particular, during their outing to the mall when it happened that one of the two looks at another man with a lot of insistence. The other sulked then in the evening they made up themselves because jealous rage, they knew it, that proved that they loved each other. The proof is such that they laughed at it by being perfectly pathetic, when they thought about it.

But, there was always a “but” to ruin everything. A misplaced thought, a misinterpreted image, anchored in our head that spoils everything. The rain fell outside as inside Baekhyun’s heart. He was sitting, his legs against his torso, his gaze lost on the horizon of the animated and sad city. Inside his mind an image was continuously repeating, his man in the arms of another person, their looks were too happy and their smiles too “in love”. He hated him since the beginning this Kim Jong In, he didn’t understand why his Chan, his man was friend with such a half-wit. This guy, he could not stand him and the more time progressed, the more he wished to see him disappear from his life.

When Chanyeol had returned, he hadn’t bothered to glare at him. He had gone into the room, his fists clenched. He was going to make him misery! We don’t lie to him, especially if it concerns his feelings. The other didn’t understand this behavior, usually he came to offer him a hug and a kiss. Why such a turnaround? Chanyeol hastened to meet his man in their room. This one was still crying and shooting him murderous glances since he had entered the room. He swallowed hard.

“Are you okay?” he asked, cursing himself for being so silly.

“Do I look like I’m okay?” the other answered coldly.

“What do you have? When, I arrived you went straight away to isolate yourself.”

“I didn’t want to see you with your happy smile stuck to your fake face.”

Chanyeol felt his heart become cracked, it was the first that the other talked to him like this. Furthermore, he just said that he was fake. But why? He had nothing to reproach himself with.

“Baek… why are you talking to me like that?”

“Why do you say? WHY? Do not you feel guilty?!”

“What did I do?”

“What did you do? You were not too happy to be with your Jong In?” With your silly smile stuck to your lips, as if there were only the two of you on this planet. Admit you love to have him in your arms! Don’t you?”

The tall brown was shocked, Baekhyun was jealous of his best friend. Yet he only saw him and nobody else.

“Jong In is taken Baekhyun, that’s why I was happy. I’m happy that my best friend has someone in his life.” He explained.

Baekhyun felt horribly bad, but after all maybe that Chanyeol was lying! Yes, he was lying, no more, no less!

“Are you sure you’re not lying?”

“Why would I lie? You know very well that I would have left with him for quite a long time, if I had feeling for him! You… it saddens me that you can think for a single second that my feelings are no longer relevant.”

Chanyeol had gone out of the room, the heart threatening to explode. He had to change his mind, he no longer recognized the one he loved. How could he doubt him? This evening, they had not slept together. One drank to find relief, the other cried eaten away from the guilt. Their love was not sick, it will never be. It was just a pass nothing more…

Days and weeks passed, both men had forgotten this event. They had turned over a new leaf, it was only a small crisis. Baekhyun had the right to love him so much, even if he had imagined false things, it proved his attachment, that his feelings were sincere. This bad memory had brought them even closer than before, they didn’t release any more, in the biggest helplessness of his friends. That’s why one day unexpectedly, they came to make a surprise visit to Chanyeol at his home. The tall one had been very touched, his friends meant a lot to him, he needed them to change his mind when something was wrong with his couple or at work. The evening was going well, all were happy except Baekhyun. The little one was boiling inside, he wanted them all to leave! Chanyeol was his, nobody should steal him, especially not them! Jong In was there still stuck to his Chan, he wanted to kill him slowly so that he understands that it was an error to attack the man of his life. Besides, he seemed too happy for his taste and it gave him a strong desire to hit him. He had to take care of him, not of theses “people”!

“It’s time to leave, it’s been too long since you’re here.” Spoke Baekhyun under the astounded eyes of his man.

“Bae, it has been a long time since I saw them. You are not going to make them leave like that?”

“I don’t care! They leave, that’s all! You don’t argue what I tell you!” he exclaimed.

“You don’t talk to me like that, I’m not your dog! I’s me who pays the apartment, if I decide they stay, they stay, you don’t have a word to say!”

Baekhyun was about to crack, Chanyeol preferred his friends to him, right?

“I hate you! I thought that you like me more than that…”

“What are you talking about?” Interrupted him the brown man.

Chanyeol’s friends went away, embarrassed by the situation. Nobody understood what had happened. The small man had gone to lock himself in their room when they were all gone. He cried without stopping, his heart tighten in his chest, it was hard.

They saw each other without really seeing each other. They spoke to each other without understanding each other. They loved each other, but were blind. Their “I love you” were words delivered in the ear of a deaf person. Their visible feelings were invisible to them.

The more the day went by, the more things went wrong, Baekhyun’s crises became more regular, more extreme. They often broke out when people outside of their couple were involved, or when Chanyeol came home late. Baekhyun insulted him all the names and shouted at him saying he didn’t like him. Their love was based on a tissue of lies. Chanyeol was in denial…

Sometimes he racked his brain and cried. He could not leave the one he loved because of his jealousy, otherwise it would be selfish. Love it’s for the best as for the worse.

The worst… the worst. Why the worst? Because everything can happen. It starts with threats to his friends, who tells you that the one you love is mentally ill. But, you like him and don’t believe in poor word. Chanyeol strongly believed in Baekhyun’s sanity because he was afraid to face the reality, its breaks, its crushes our lives and makes our hideous memories filled with dust that we don’t want to clean up. It was enough of a delay, an excuse, a cry, a tear to ruin everything. It only took a second for his mind to be scrambled with all rational thoughts, for a year for his illness to take possession of his whole being.

Baekhyun was there, red eyes, jerky breathing, a knife in his hand.

“I’m going to kill you.” He repeated without stopping against the one he loved.

The other was afraid, his limbs shook like leaves and his heart was beating wildly. It was at this moment that he understood, that everything had cleared up, Baekhyun had a problem. He imagined false things and victimized himself. If only he had listening him, if only… hadn’t been so feeble …

“Baekhyun calm down.” He tried.

“Calm me down? But, I’m calm. You will pay, that’s it! You cheated on me, I’m sure that’s why you’re late!”

“Baekhyun that’s wrong, I love you and you know it.”

“STOP LYING! You don’t look at me anymore! You don’t stay with me anymore… I’m always alone because you prefer others! I don’t count for you! That’s why you have to die! YOU LIED ENOUGH TO ME! DIE IN HELL!”

The two boys engaged a high-speed chase in the apartment. Baekhyun was crying because he felt betrayed and Chanyeol was crying because he was blind. They loved each other, but… as always there is one “but” who screw everything up! Never Chanyeol will ever forget the voice of Baekhyun, the one he loved telling him that he couldn’t escape, that he would die in his arms because of his stupidity. Since, in spite of everything he had managed to lock himself in their room… Never will he ever forget that love can lead to madness.

In this white corridor, he walked with an empty heart, his eyes full of tears with slow steps. Arriving in the sunshine on the outside, he collapsed against the concrete cursing on himself. All that happened was his faults and he knew it, hide it would have been a lie, one more in his life that he thought was beautiful without any black clouds… Chanyeol had just left Baekhyun between the hands of professionals at the mental hospital. They said they would help and… Baekkhyun had cried, shouted with all his strength to escape.

“Chanyeol I hate you! How can you do that to me?” He had shouted.

“I’m sorry, but… you have a problem Baekhyun. If I do that it’s for your own good.” Cried the tall one.

In the morning they had talked quietly, hugging each other, they small one had calmed down. Then, Chanyeol had decided during the night, which had been difficult, that it would be necessary to help his boyfriend even if it means being separated from him.

Love hurts, love destroys, breaks. A love without problems, a beautiful love from the beginning till the end doesn't exist. No matter what fairytales say. Love can be beautiful but you have to maintain it.

Chanyeol will always love Baekhyun and Baekhyun always Chanyeol. Even of a misunderstood love.

They will rewrite their story so that it never ends. It wasn’t an end, just the beginning of a new love, nothing more, nothing less.

 

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A/N : I hope you liked it :) You can comment and share with me your impressions. Thanks for your reading!