“Yugyeom-ah will take the punishment for me because he is the maknae, right?” Jinyoung challenged with a mischievous sparkle in his eye. The question was met with loud “oohs” from the group and mcs of the television show as everyone turned to Yugyeom to see his response.

“Hyuuuuung.” Yugyeom complained, throwing his head back.

“I’ll do it!” Bambam piped up to everyone’s surprise.

“Ani, I can do it!” Yugyeom said, his competitive nature kicking in as he pushed a smug Bambam back into his stool, “give me the lemon!”

Jackson laughed hysterically as he moved the accursed lemon from Jinyoung’s plate and held it in front of Yugyeom’s mouth.

In all honesty, eating a slice of lemon was not that bad, but Yugyeom made a huge deal out of it to make Jinyoung feel guilty. He clenched his eyes shut as soon as his lips closed around the lemon and fake-gagged, making hissing noises and frantically pointing for the water. The group was hysterical and it only fueled Yugyeom’s performance. He was always proud to make his hyungs laugh, especially on live television.

“Wah, you have one tough maknae!” the prim female mc noted with a fake enthusiasm often seen in prim female mcs. Yugyeom’s mood was immediately deflated. He knew this would start the stories about what an awful maknae he was. He swallowed the last of the lemon with much less bravado than before, raising a half smile and a thumbs up to show that he’d done it.

“Ne, a little too tough if you ask me,” JB said, as if on cue, “He honestly does nothing for us anymore but tells us to do it ourselves!”

“Aniiii. I got you coffee yesterday JB-hyung!” Yugyeom protested, his whiny defense only making the rest of the members giggle.

“Wait, you bought JB coffee and not me?” Jinyoung asked, eyes wide in his trademark look of mock accusation.

“I just took the punishment for you Jinyoung-hyung! Do you want to eat a lemon? I think I saw some backstage…”

“Did you just threaten me?” Jinyoung asked, trying not to crack a smile because of Yugyeom’s exasperation. “The disrespect…” he mumbled, shaking his head as the members laughed and Yugyeom kept yelling “yah” and “chicha?” As much as he knew the fans loved to see him tease Yugy, he had to admit that he found it pretty fun too. He liked that it was a special bonding that only really worked between the two of them. Yugyeom was awkward and sparing with skinship and got easily embarrassed by kind words, so is a good way Jinyoung had discovered to show Yugyeom affection. His lips finally cracked into a smile as Yugyeom’s ears flushed red with embarrassment.

“Don’t kill Yugyeom our dance machine!” Jackson was begging dramatically on the floor at the foot of Jinyoung’s stool, making Jinyoung laugh even more.

“Ah yes, speaking of dance, would you please tell us some of Got7’s new concepts, Youngjae?” And Yugyeom was relieved to catch a break as the interview was steered another direction….

 

Back at the dorm, the boys either collapsed onto the couch or went into their rooms after a long schedule. They had done makeup and hair all morning, the tv show in the afternoon, and had just got back to the dorms after a three hour dance practice and a quick dinner. Mark and JB were exercising their seniority by showering first. Yugyeom sprawled out onto the couch next to Bambam.

“Aish, you smell.” Bambam jabbed half-heartedly, plugging his nose and scooting away from his friend.

“You don’t smell any better!” Yugyeom shot right back, plugging his nose too. Both he and Bambam refused to be the first to back down so they both plugged their noses and glared at each other until their faces turned red and they had to break, gasping for air in between loud laughs.

“Why are we like this?” Bambam laughed, scooting back next to Yugyeom and crossing his legs on the couch.

Yugyeom giggled and slung his leg over Bambam’s knee, “Who knows?” he responded. They began talking about their day and all was well until Bambam brought up the TV show.

“Wah, Jinyoung-hyung really is teasing you a lot lately. I don’t think he means anything by it, but still…” Bambam said quietly, in case the older boy was listening from his room.

“Yeah,” Yugyeom agreed quietly, “I thought it was just me overthinking things, but I guess it’s getting pretty obvious…” he chewed on his lip nervously, thinking back to all of the times recently that he had been called mean or a bad maknae by his hyungs on interviews and shows.

“Yah, he’s probably just playing it up for the fans.” Bambam said, noticing Yugyeom’s mood and setting his hand on the boy’s knee. “You know they love that kind of thing.”

“You’re right.” Yugyeom smiled up at Bambam before moving his leg off of him and getting up to grab his towel for a shower.

“Of course I’m right!” Bambam yelled behind him, causing Yugyeom to laugh to himself as he retrieved his towel.

 

The shower was relaxing at first, but the time alone set Yugyeom back to thinking about the “bad maknae” thing again before long. I’m not really so terrible, am I? Yugyeom thought to himself, finger-combing shampoo into his hair. He began to think about all of the times that he had failed them. When he just couldn’t get his vocals to sound as strong as theirs. When someone called him unprofessional and he felt like he made the group look bad. When he read nasty comments telling him he didn’t belong. When he was annoying. When he added to his hyung’s stress and problems.

Yugyeom sighed, closing his eyes and stepping under the water to rinse his hair. He wanted his hyungs to love him as much as he loved them, but he always seemed to disappoint them. He saw the way other groups treated their maknaes. Always babying them and telling them how proud they were. He felt like his height and personality made it hard for the hyungs to see him as someone who needed their attention and care. Since he was physically so much bigger than them, they could forget that he was years younger and did crave nurturing even though he physically looked independant and intimidating. Even a little extra attention every now and then would do the trick, but again because of his personality, he would never ask for it. So he went on trying to get their attention in other ways, whether it be pranking them, teasing them, working extra hard on his performance, or even talking back. He just wanted to be noticed.

Yugyeom sighed, rubbing the last of the soap out of his eyes before turning off the water. He would try to be a better maknae. No, I will do better. Yugyeom thought to himself as he toweled off and slipped on some clean underwear, sweatpants, and an oversized t shirt. He exited the bathroom while toweling off his hair and nearly knocked right into Mark.

“Aish, watch where you’re going!” Mark said, slightly annoyed because some of the water he had just gotten had spilled onto the floor.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Yugyeom instantly replied, dropping to his knees immediately and using the towel that had been for his hair to dry the water from the floor. “Do you want me to get you more water?” he asked, standing back up.

Mark stood there looking at him incredulously, clutching his mug with his mouth slightly agape. “Wh...what?”

Yugyeom took the mug from his hand and rushed into the kitchen to refill it before cautiously carrying it back, careful not to spill a drop. “Here you go, hyung!” he said, pressing it into Mark’s hands with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry I ran into you.”

Mark, who had been frozen the entire time, blinked his eyes twice before snapping back into reality, “Yah, who are you and what have you done with Kim Yugyeom?” he asked suspiciously, making Yugyeom laugh.

“What? It’s just me, Mark-hyung.”

“Ani,” Mark shot back immediately, “The Yugyeom I know would have said “get over it” and kept walking to his room!”

Yugyeom’s smile disappeared and he looked down at his hands, nudging his toe into the floor. “I’m really not that mean, hyung.” he mumbled, “I know I tease you guys sometimes but I’m really not that mean.”

“Aish.” Mark said again, uncomfortable because he had made Yugyeom uncomfortable.

“What’s going on out here?” JB asked, poking his head out of his room.

“Yugyeom is being really nice and it’s freaking me out!” Mark said, edging around a flustered Yugyeom to retreat into his and Jackson’s room, water in hand.

“Yah, why are you being nice to Mark and not to me?” Jaebum fake-complained, stepping out into the hallway, “haven’t I been a good leader to you?”

“You are the best leader!” was Yugyeom’s honest and automatic response. “Honestly I don’t know why you guys all think I’m never nice to you.”

“You’re never nice to me!” instigator Jinyoung called from his and Jaebum’s shared room where JB had left the door open.

“I am!” Yugyeom protested, and all of a sudden everything had built up to so much that he collapsed cross-legged onto the floor right there in the middle of the hallway and let out a sob.

Jaebum’s eyes widened as the boy suddenly started crying, and he kneeled down onto the floor in front of Yugyeom. “Hey, don’t cry Yugyeom, it’s not that big of a deal, we were just teasing.” he said, reaching out to grip Yugyeom’s shoulder.

“No you weren’t” Yugyeom cried and buried his face in his hands, “You think I’m a bad maknae.”

By this point, Jinyoung had come out of the room and sat down in the hallway next to Jaebum. The other boys opened their doors at the sound of one of their members crying, but Jinyoung gestured at them to go back into their rooms.

“Yugyeom-ie.” he chided gently, rubbing Yugyeom’s knee in an effort to get the boy to look up at him, “Yugyeom-ie I was just teasing you. We don’t actually think that you’re mean all the time. It’s just that...well for me, you tease me a lot, and I thought that’s how you liked to show affection so I’ve been teasing you back. I’m sorry, really, I didn’t know it made you so upset.”

Yugyeom gasped for breath, completely embarrassed by how much emotion he was showing and by letting out what he had said already. Luckily, Jaebum was in full on leader-mode and began taking charge of the situation. “Come on, let’s go to my room.” he instructed, standing up and reaching to down to take Yugyeom’s wrists and pull him up with him. Yugyeom followed his leader to the room with his head down, shamefully rubbing his wet eyes with the back of his hands to wipe away the tears. Once they were all inside, Jinyoung closed the door behind him. “Come here” Jaebum instructed, not unkindly, sitting down on his bed and patting the spot next to him.

Yugyeom flushed with embarrassment and shook his head, regaining enough composure to respond. “Ani hyung, it’s ok, I’m fine.”

Jinyoung scoffed behind him and took him by his arm to drag him to the bed where he plopped the boy down in between him and JB. “You’re not fine and we need to talk about it, Yugy.” Jinyoung stated firmly. “Do you think that we think that you’re a bad maknae because we tease you?”

Yugyeom sniffed and coughed a little. Then shook his head. Then nodded. Then shrugged with an exasperated groan, burying his head into his hands again. “I don’t knooow.” came the muffled reply.

“Yugyeom-ie.” Jinyoung said, his familiar baritone voice prompting Yugyeom to give a full answer. He placed a warm hand flat over the boy’s spine and rubbed comforting circles into the middle of his back while they waited for Yugyeom to calm down.

After a long moment, Jaebum spoke “You can tell us the truth Yugyeom. Just be straightforward.” Jinyoung hummed in agreement.

Yugyeom exhaled and rubbed his face, then looked up with his chin resting in his hands and his elbows on his knees. “Well,” he started, “it’s just that...at first I didn’t mind the teasing. I even thought it was kind of fun. But then it became too much, I mean even other members have pointed it out! And it’s not all the time it’s just...when you say that I am always mean and tell the mcs that I never do anything for you….it makes me feel terrible! I know I act that way sometimes but it’s just...nevermind.”

“Yugyeom.” Jaebum said, a hint of warning in his voice that forced the boy to continue.

Yugyeom gulped and looked down before continuing, “It’s just...because I want you to notice me. When I used to do everything you asked without a question it felt like sometimes you would forget I was there. It wasn’t as if you were ungrateful-don’t get me wrong- but sometimes you didn’t even look up to see that I was maybe sad that day, and I felt like if I could only get you to look at me-” he stopped, cutting himself off before he got too emotional, realising how needy this all sounded now that he was finally saying it out loud. “Anyway, the point is that I know I’m not the greatest maknae and I promise to work on it, and I am sorry that I’ve disappointed you. That’s all.”

“You haven’t disappointed us.” Jinyoung stated matter-of-factly, moving his hand from Yugyeom’s back to steeple his fingers under his chin.

“I’m actually really proud of you. You’ve been working really hard on your music and your dancing and you’re contributing to the team more than ever.” Jaebum added, and the cold that had come over Yugyeom when Jinyoung took his comforting hand away was replaced with absolute warmth as his hyung’s praise filled his ears.

“...Really” he asked.

Jaebum nodded solemnly. “What I want to talk about is what you keep stopping yourself from saying. Please tell us.”

The tone that his leader used was so commanding yet desperate that Yugyeom felt that he had no choice but to answer honestly.

“I guess I just want to feel like the maknae sometimes. I know that it’s silly and stupid but...I really look up to you guys and you take care of me so well and I know it’s a lot to ask but I just want to be noticed not all the time just every once in awhile and I don’t want to annoy you-”

“Yugyeom-ie!” Jinyoung cut him off with a light smile, “You’re talking too fast. Are you trying to say that you want us to give you more attention?”

Yugyeom blushed and looked down, feeling like a complete child, but he nodded all the same.

Jaebum let out a big sigh, and to everyone’s surprise, reached out and wrapped his arms around Yugyeom, setting his chin on the boy’s head. “I’m so sorry, Yugy. I haven’t been the kind of leader I should be. I should have noticed. I will do better, I promise. Do you forgive me?” he asked, slowly rocking Yugyeom back and forth, and the unexpected tenderness caused the boy let out a fresh bout of new tears.

“It’s not your fault, hyung! You are the best leader in the world!” Yugyeom cried into JB’s shoulder, crossing his arms over his chest and curling defensively into the rare embrace.

“It is my fault, in part. I’m supposed to keep every member of this group happy and healthy. Especially my maknae.” Yugyeom felt something so special when his leader called him “maknae” in an affectionate tone for the first time in months.

“Do you forgive me Yugyeom?” Jaebum asked seriously, tightening his hold on the crying boy.

Yugyeom nodded into his chest more times than necessary and said “I forgive you, hyung.”

“Good.” JB said, and with a reassuring squeeze, he loosened his hold on the boy and patted his back. “If I ever make you feel bad, I want you to tell me as soon as possible so I can fix it and be a better leader for you, okay Yugy?” Nothing should ever upset you for this long.”

Yugyeom nodded and wiped at his eyes. “Yes, hyung. I love you, hyung.” he said sincerely, looking up at Jaebum through the lingering tears.

“I love you too.” Jaebum responded with a small, affectionate smile.

“Yah, Yugyeom-ie.” Jinyoung said, and Yugyeom turned to look at his other hyung. Jinyoung smiled at him and wiped away the stray tears that were falling from his maknae’s eyes. “I know when we’re teasing each other I can get a little carried away. I promise I thought it was the way you showed me affection. Now that I know better, I definitely won’t take it as far.”

Yugyeom smiled and leaned into the soft hands wiping his face. “I do like when we tease each other, just please don’t always call me mean. I know it’s hard for us to be affectionate, but...I really cherish you and I would hate it if you disliked me.”

For once, Jinyoung fought the urge to make fun of Yugyeom for saying something so mushy and surprised the boy with a sentimental response. “Kim Yugyeom, you are my little brother. I love you. You don’t ever have to worry about that again. I’m sorry I took it too far before. I will never do it again. And if I ever do, you have permission to make fun of my laugh for a full week.”

This made Yugyeom giggle, and then Jinyoung was giggling, and then JB was giggling because that crap’s contagious, and then they were all laughing and no one really knew why, and all of the tension in the room slowly evaporated. Yugyeom felt as light as a feather, and for the first time in months, he was happy and at ease around his hyungs.

“Aish, I’m sorry I cried so much.” he said, looking up and dabbing at his under-eyes.

“You needed to let it all out.” Jinyoung responded without even a hint of sarcasm.

“Alright Yugy,” Jaebum said, settling a hand on the boy’s back, “are you ready to go to bed now?”

Yugyeom nodded with a bright smile and pushed himself off the bed. “Thank you for everything, hyungs. You are the best! Goodnight!” He said with a double thumbs up.

The older boys laughed and returned the gesture, calling goodnight after their maknae as he left the room.