She couldn’t remember the first time she had seen it, not like anyone did anyway. Instead, she would try to make up for that lost memory by imagining what it had felt like to be struck by such beauty for the first time. For that light reflecting on her eyes to feel like a stranger, and not like a view she had grown so used to by now.

Jiwoo did, however, remember the last time. It had been a Wednesday, last day of the month. An eclipse was taking place, making her shake in excitement the entire morning as she waited for the spectacle to begin. Her anticipation was rightfully met by a sight that she would always describe as one of the most thrilling moments of her life, the title of Most Exciting reserved for a special occasion that had yet to happen sometime in the future. 

For the rest of the week that one event was all everyone seemed to have in mind. The eclipse -if they could even call it that- had been different from anything ever seen before. In this occasion the moon was the one hiding, slowly getting covered by the sun until nothing of its form was left for the eye to see. After that day the big satellite never became uncovered again.

Everything about it was ridiculous; for it to just vanish into nothingness in a matter of seconds, making you question if it ever was there in the first place, just didn’t seem like a realistic thing that could happen. How did something so big just disappear while so many people were watching?

But that was then, and this was now; and as the months passed by, the entire world had just gotten used to the idea of having pitch black nights. Having no moon, it seemed like the natural order of things, and to picture an earth with an orbiting moon felt archaic and distant.

For Jiwoo though, it was the contrary. She thought of a moonless world as the farthest thing away from conventional, and it baffled her how easily those around her just accepted their new reality. She couldn’t just pretend the moon had never been there, as someone with a fascination for space it was her duty not to.

She’d spend hours reading articles and hypothesis online, theorizing about what could have possibly happened. She had gone over the same essays and web pages so many times she was starting to memorize some of them.

Jiwoo’s eyes remained glued to her computer screen as she spoke, “Many people think it somehow managed to become a black hole, but-”

“There’s always a but” Interrupted an apathetic sounding voice.

This time Jiwoo bothered with making eye contact before continuing the conversation, “Of course there’s always a but, otherwise it wouldn’t be a mystery, smartass.”

“But it isn’t. I mean, it doesn’t have to” Rebutted the voice sounding more interested now that her teasing had finally managed to capture Jiwoo’s full attention, “Maybe the moon just got tired, and wanted a break from doing moon stuff.”

“Yves,” Replied Jiwoo dryly, following it with a heavy sigh, “Sometimes you’re so…”

After earning herself a mocking smile from the older girl, Jiwoo didn’t bother in finishing the sentence, knowing the message she was trying to convey had already been received.

Not like she would ever admit it to herself, but she also couldn’t finish that sentence because thinking about a negative adjective to describe Yves felt almost impossible.

Yves was the only person that showed any kind of interest whenever Jiwoo started rambling about the moon, and that alone was a good enough reason to make her one of the most precious people in her life. She always listened to what the smaller girl had to say, and sometimes even discussed some of the theories with her -discuss meaning fighting Jiwoo on the fact that they were all wrong and that the real answer would never be known-

“It’s so annoying” She’d say while looking bored, “Human beings are so annoying, always wanting to know the reason and the why behind everything. Can’t they just accept things for what they are and stop trying to outsmart it all?”

Jiwoo admired that nihilist-esque way of looking at the world, and would often find herself feeling envious towards it, wishing she could also not care so much about it all; to be able to go around life without trying to find a meaning to everything and just be. Sadly though, she couldn’t seem to let go of the habits of her inquisitive nature, so for now, that would have to remain as one of the many reasons she admired the older girl.

That list also included the fact that sometimes while talking with Yves, she’d get that feeling she had recently grown so unused to.  Jiwoo blamed it on the eyes; they gave her that same excitement she used to get when looking at the moon.

It makes no sense, she would think.

She had just met this girl no more than 5 months ago but her feelings for her already resembled those by something she had learned to love throughout her entire life.

“What?” Yves would ask every time she caught her staring, and Jiwoo would just shrug and say “Nothing” because that was easier than trying to put into words how looking into those galaxy filled eyes made her feel.

Shortly after that she started noticing (and loving) the little marks that covered the older girl’s body; dots carefully spread all over her skin with the kind of precision that you could only find on a painter as they place the final details into their almost finished canvas. Jiwoo was sure that if connected correctly, a constellation could be formed.

She started paying less attention to space and more to all the different variations of shapes that could be formed. Eventually she convinced Yves to let her draw on her skin, and it was with crooked lines made by trembling hands, and ears filled with shy laughter caused by the tickling of marker touching skin, that Jiwoo finally figured out the names of all the constellations hidden on the girl.

**

Yves’ eyes always looked the brightest during the night. Jiwoo would jokingly say they could easily replace the moon if allowed to, that she had her permission to do so…Little did she know.

Yves’ stare would often feel heavy on Jiwoo, more than she’d like to admit. Almost as if she was burning under those two eyes; the type of feeling you get when standing under the sunlight for too long, but not quite. This was cold; it sent shivers down her spine and filled her entire body with goosebumps. When looking into her eyes, Jiwoo’s entire vision felt as if it was being blinded by silver lighting, blocking her from seeing anything that wasn’t the girl standing in front of her, and even if the brightness made her eyes hurt, she never complained about it.

It was a voice drenched in the sound of a thousand galaxies moving what interrupted Jiwoo’s thoughts.

“Jiwoo? You there?” Questioned Yves, bringing her back to reality

Being caught off guard, Jiwoo quickly said the first lie she could come up with “Yeah, I was just thinking” And then interpreted the lack of a reply by the other girl as an indicator to continue talking, “Like…Do you think it will ever come back?”

 Yves seemed unfazed by the sudden direction the conversation took, already used to the moon somehow always being the ending point of every conversation between the two, “Do you want it to?”

“Maybe” Replied Jiwoo as she wrinkled her nose, “I don’t know.”

Yves looked deep in thought as she continued talking, “The world seems to be working pretty fine without it.”

The words appeared to resonate with Jiwoo as she struggled with an answer; she remained quiet for a while and instead resorted to playing with the ends of Yves’ skirt, as they were sitting awfully close to each other. Finally, she sighed and ended the conversation with “I guess I just miss it.”

However, Jiwoo’s words didn’t feel truthful at all, she wasn’t entirely sure of wanting the moon back. Being honest, what she missed the most about it was the feeling it gave her; of being fascinated by something so ordinary and mundane, yet complex at the same time, of being able to know so much about a topic, yet nothing at all. But now…she had this again. With Yves.

So who needs the moon?

**

Jiwoo was finally able to stop questioning every thought and feeling she had when her lips were touched by a moon burned kiss.

The sensation could only be described as having the entire cosmos inside of her, of being showered from head to toe by stardust of every star that had ever exist within the galaxy.

The moment Jiwoo felt Yves’ smile against her own, she couldn’t have cared less about the moon and all of its secrets even if she tried to. In that second, it felt as if she had the entire universe figured out, and the moon felt insignificant compared to it.

**

Jiwoo only realized the magnitude of her unawareness when it was a little bit too late.

“You could’ve just told me, you know.” As she spoke she could still feel echoes of a kiss on , but this, unlike the real thing, left her with a bitter aftertaste.

“It’s not fair, you get to see me, but I don’t get to see you” She realized that was technically wrong when the words were already out of , so quickly, she corrected herself, “Not the you that was mine, at least.”

She had to admit it, it all looked prettier illuminated by that watery white glow…But not pretty enough. Everything touched by that night’s sky became silver painted with a glow in gray-scale colors, but still, Jiwoo preferred the moonless sky from just the night before, which somehow managed to make it all seem golden and filled with vivid colors instead.

As moonlight fell on her skin she could almost feel the same burning sensation that Yves’ touch used to give her; how had she been able to pay so much attention yet none at all?

“Yves” She continued talking as she directed her words to the sky, anyone passing by would be quick to label her as crazy, but she knew for a fact that what she was saying was not being kept just for herself; the moon was always listening, “Sometimes you can be so…”

Finally, Jiwoo could understand how that Wednesday months ago, the moon had managed to get away.